“I’ve heard of that too,” says Nathan. “But I think it can backfire. Some of the stories, like the Boy Scout leader who turns out to be gay, only makes some people jump to the very worst conclusions. Some people just assume that the whole evil homosexual plan is to infect our children with sinful ideas. Or even worse, to sexually abuse them and infect them with things like HIV. And that’s the kind of thinking that generates fear.”
Of course, this Boy Scout comment only reminds me of Jess’s experience at soccer camp. Not that Jess contracted some horrible disease, at least I hope not, but I’m sure it messed up her mind. “But things like that do happen,” I point out. “I mean to some people. So maybe there is a reason to fear. Maybe we shouldn’t let our guard down.”
BJ looks at me, then nods. “Yeah. We actually heard a true story about someone who was sexually abused by a homosexual at a camp.”
He frowns. “Unfortunately, I’m sure that those things do happen. But my point is that not every gay person is like that. They aren’t all evil and twisted. Some of them are simply misguided and confused. And some of them really can’t seem to help their own sexual orientation. They just want to live and let live, you know? Take Jess. Now she wouldn’t try to hurt anyone, would she?”
“Well, she kind of hurt my feelings today,” I admit.
“Yes. But you need to remember she’s hurting too. Sometimes people hurt others when they’re hurting.”
“I know that’s true, but I’m still worried about Jess. She seemed to be opening up to us on Saturday. And now this thing with Joey . . . well, it seems to have set her back.”
“We thought we might go over to the hospital after this,” BJ tells him. “Try to show some support for Joey, to let him know that we accept him, you know?”
“That’s a great idea. Would you like me to come with you?”
So we agree to meet over there. But before we leave Starbucks, Nathan leads us in prayer.
“And remember,” he says as we’re going to our cars, “we are ministers of reconciliation. We are going to share Jesus’ love and acceptance.”
eighteen
I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I’M FEELING PRETTY NERVOUS WHEN WE WALK INTO THE hospital. And when we enter the waiting area of the psychiatric unit, I am downright intimidated by the “diverse” crowd gathered there.
There are about twenty or more people loitering around the waiting area, and it’s obvious that they are probably all homosexuals. Okay, I know that’s pretty prejudicial on my part, but there’s just something about them—the way they look or their clothes or the way they’re talking—that sets off all kinds of alarms in me. And, sure, I don’t like to judge appearances, but my first impression is that this could be a pretty rough crowd. Some of them might even be those militant in-your-face types that BJ was talking about earlier. I glance over at Nathan and BJ, and although I can tell they’re not quite sure about this group either, Nathan puts on a confident smile and heads straight to Jess. BJ and I trail right behind him.
“Hey, Jess,” he says. “I’m sorry to hear about your friend.”
“We wanted to come by and see how he’s doing,” adds BJ.
“I told them a little about him,” I say, almost feeling as if I need to apologize for this, or apologize for us coming. Should I have asked her first?
Jess’s eyes narrow slightly as she carefully studies the three of us, as if trying to gauge why we are here. Then she glances back to her unusual assortment of friends, all of whom seem to be staring at us now.
“He’s doing okay, considering,” she says. “We’re taking turns going in to see him. Only two visitors at a time and only for five minutes.” She sighs. “But I don’t think he’ll want to see you guys.”
“Are these your friends?” asks a very butch-looking girl that I’ve seen around school before. Her hair is about an inch long, spiked and tinted midnight blue, and she’s wearing what looks like a motorcycle jacket over a faded pink T-shirt that has Girl Power written across the front in felt pen. She has numerous silver studs piercing her eyebrows and what looks like a miniature black barbell hanging through the center of her lower lip. I’m sure her appearance is all about keeping people at arm’s length from her, and it’s working for me. I basically want to turn around and run in the other direction.
“This is Casey,” says Jess.
Then Nathan introduces himself and us, sticking out his hand to shake, but Casey just ignores it, shoving both her hands into the pockets of her baggy jeans. “Are you guys friends of Joey?” she asks.
“We know Joey from school,” I say. “I have some classes with—”
“Aren’t you the one who teases him all the time?” she says to me.
“I used to tease him,” I admit. “But I thought he kinda liked it. Sometimes he’d tease me back. I thought we were just being goofy.”
“Goofy?” Her pierced brows draw together.
“You guys should go,” Jess says in a quiet tone.
“Can’t we say hi to Joey first?” BJ asks.
“Do you even know Joey?” Casey demands. “Or did you just come here to gawk?”
“I’ve known Joey since grade school,” BJ tells her in a calm voice. “Ask him if you don’t believe me.”
“Well, I know he doesn’t want to see any gay bashers,” says Casey in an overly loud voice. Naturally this gets the attention of the other people in the room, and I can feel all their eyes on us now.
“We’re not gay bashers,” I tell Casey. “We’re concerned about Joey and all the stuff that’s been—”
“Sure,” says Casey, “you’re concerned now. Now that Joey has been so hurt by creeps like you that he couldn’t take it anymore.”
“You don’t even know me,” I tell Casey.
“I know who you are, Ramie,” she snaps back at me. “Jess has told me more than enough about you.”
I glance over at Jess now, wanting her to step in and defend me. But she just stands there with her arms folded across her chest.
“Jess and I are friends,” I say in a weak-sounding voice.
Casey just laughs.
“Can someone please tell Joey that we’d like to see him,” says BJ.
Now a guy steps up. He doesn’t look like anyone from school, and I’m guessing he’s in college. He’s about my height, but very heavy. He has on an olive green army jacket, and the black knit cap pulled low on his brow only adds to the intimidation factor.
“Maybe you guys should just beat it,” he says in a surprisingly calm voice. “It won’t help anything for you to be here. you know?”
“I can understand that you guys might think we don’t belong here,” says Nathan. “But we really just wanted to reach out to you guys, to show you that we understand where you’re coming from and that we accept and support you.”
Jess looks surprised by this. “Seriously?” she says to Nathan. “Did the church send you as some kind of a peace-keeping mission?”
“We’re here because we want to be here,” he says. “And it is kind of a peace-keeping mission.”
“Hey, there’s Laura Myers from Channel Four news,” says a guy wearing a trench coat.
Suddenly the attention is deflected from us and toward the small group of people just coming out of the elevator. Sure enough, there is Laura Myers, one of the news anchors, along with what appears to be a small camera crew.
They walk directly toward the waiting area and Laura inquires about Joey Pinckney. Then, satisfied that they’re at the right place, she tells her camera guys to get ready, and they start setting up some lights and getting themselves into place for what looks like an impromptu news spot.
“Now anyone who wants to talk on camera will have to sign a release form afterward,” she says as she drops a small pile of papers onto the coffee table. “Everyone just relax and act natural. This should only take a few minutes.”
I glance at Jess. “Did someone call her?” I whisper.
She just shrugs. “I guess so.”
Casey, who seems to be the self-appointed spokesman, is the first one to step up to Laura. “I’m ready to talk,” she says. “My name is Casey Walters.”
Laura nods and makes a note of this. “First I’ll do a brief introduction and then we’ll go directly to you. Just relax and tell the truth. Okay?”
Casey nods. “Okay.”
“Here’s a picture of Joey,” says another guy, handing Laura a small photo. “He doesn’t want to be interviewed about this yet.”
“We’re at St. Thomas General Hospital,” Laura says to the camera now, “where sixteen-year-old Joey Pinckney of Greenville High, the victim of a serious hate crime and gay bashing, is now recovering.”
“Serious hate crime?” I say out loud. “Gay bashing?”
Laura Myers turns to me and frowns. “Is something wrong?”
“Well, this is news to us,” I say, glancing at BJ and Nathan. “We never heard anything like that.” I can feel Casey and the others glaring at me now. And I wonder if this was why they were so eager to see us go.
“Yeah,” says BJ. “We heard that Joey tried to commit suicide.”
“And who are you?” asks Laura. “Just friends from school,” I say meekly.
Casey laughs in a mean way. “They are definitely not friends of Joey or any of us, for that matter.” She points to us. “These are some of the straight kids from school, the same ones that have given Joey a hard time for coming out.” She points directly at me now. “Ramie even admitted as much just a few minutes ago.”
“No,” I say. “I didn’t tease Joey about being—”
“Are you a gay basher?” Laura asks me. The camera is on me now.
“No,” I say again. “I mean I had English with Joey and I used to tease him, but just in fun—”
”you teased Joey for being a homosexual?” Laura asks. “You humiliated him in front of classmates at school?”
“No! That’s not what happened.”
“Of course the gay bashers won’t admit it on TV,” says Casey, and the cameras turn to her now. “Gay bashers do their worst damage when no one is looking. It’s a well-known fact that Joey has been constantly picked on since he came out. He told me numerous times that he didn’t feel safe walking by himself down the halls at school.”
“That’s right,” another kid shouts out. “Joey was always really freaked that he was going to be beat up by some psychotic homophobic moron.”
“And this happened at school?” asks Laura. “The gay-bashing incident that led to Joey’s life-threatening injuries?”
“Yes,” says Casey. “It started at school.”
“But it wasn’t reported as a hate crime?” continues Laura, glancing at her notes. “The police show no record of a hate-crime report.”
“No. Joey was too humiliated to tell the police what happened.”
“Can you tell us what exactly happened?” Laura asks Casey. “This is a story that the public needs to hear.”
“We don’t know all the details,” Casey begins. “But it started with a teasing incident at school. Joey was walking through the locker bays and somebody tripped him.”
“Because he is gay?” asks Laura.
“Of course.”
“And did that lead to a fight?” continues Laura. “Is that how Joey was beaten?”
“Yes,” says Casey. “I think that’s what he said.”
“You think?” I echo, and Laura turns and gives me a warning look.
“Are you covering a story or creating one?” I say to Laura. “Because this sounds like a complete fabrication to me.” I turn and look at Jess now. “You told me that Joey tried to kill himself.”
Jess just glares at me.
“Besides,” I continue. “School’s been out for four days. When was Joey admitted to the hospital?”
“I think there may be a misunderstanding going on here,” says Nathan, finally stepping up to Laura.
“Who are you?”
“I’m just a youth pastor, a friend to some of these kids—”
“You’re not a friend to any of us!” yells Casey. “I’ll bet you came here to see if you could preach at us. you probably want to save us from our sinful, aberrant, and immoral lifestyles, right?”
And then the waiting room just seems to erupt. Names are called and voices are raised and the whole time the cameras are going until finally some hospital security guards put an abrupt end to everything, telling us all to leave.
“Take it outside,” one of the guards tells Laura Myers. “We have patients who came here to get well. Take this outside or we’ll have you all arrested.”
Nathan nudges BJ and me. “Come on,” he tells us, and we follow him down a hallway to a different elevator. “We better get out of here,” he says as he presses the button and waits.
“What happened?” BJ asks.
“They obviously want the media to think that Joey is the victim of a hate crime,” says Nathan. “Although how they think they can get away with it is beyond me.” He pulls out his cell phone as we get into the elevator. “But as soon as we’re out of here, I plan to give Channel Four a quick call and hopefully a heads-up to whoever is over Laura Myers.”
“Better not make the call while any of those nuts from upstairs are around to hear you,” says BJ. “That Casey chick really scares me.”
“It’s so sad to think of Jess being connected with people like that,” I say as the elevator shoots down to the lobby.
“You can’t judge them all by just one girl’s actions,” Nathan warns us as we exit the elevator.
“But you saw them,” I point out.
“I did,” he says. “And I was really watching some of them pretty closely, trying to figure out how they were feeling and where they were coming from. And I was especially watching when the TV crew got there and things started getting crazy. Some of those kids, including Jess, were not a bit comfortable with what was being said. Some of them looked just as shocked as we were.”
“Well, that’s a comfort,” I say as we hurry outside.
“You girls get out of here,” he tells us. “I don’t think any good will come out of a confrontation where tempers are flaring. But call me later, okay? I have some ideas.”
“Do you think it will make the news?” I ask.
“I hope not.” He waves as we hurry off to our cars. “That was like so totally random,” says BJ as she unlocks her VW. “Really, really freaky weird.”
“I hope Nathan’s right,” I say as I get in. “I hope that they’re not all involved in that lame hate-crime scheme.”
“It looked like Casey and that dude in the army jacket were the ones behind it,” she says as she pulls out of the parking lot. But as she drives past the hospital, we see the TV crew and the others now gathering out front. It appears they’re going to continue their bogus news story without us.
“Man, I sure hope Nathan can talk some sense into Laura’s boss. Can you imagine what a mess it will be if that hinky story makes it to the news?”
As it turns out, the story does make it to the local news. Only it’s even worse than we imagined. The segment shows footage of the whole bunch of us, all yelling at each other and looking like we’re about to get into a knock-down drag-out fight. The clips, taken out of context, really depict both BJ and me as serious bigots and hypocrites. Then there are clips where the gay-alliance kids describe being persecuted and threatened and beaten, which really makes it look like this town is full of those psychotic, homophobic morons that the kid in the army jacket was talking about. And it really paints the high school in a bad light.
I immediately get on the phone, trying to call Nathan, but I have to leave a message. Then I call BJ.
“Can you believe it?” I demand.
She lets out a groan. “What are we going to do, Ramie? We look like a couple of deranged homophobes.”
“Can you imagine what someone like Amy or Kelsey will be saying to me tomorrow?” I say. Just then I hear the beep that tells me som
eone is trying to call. “I got another call,” I tell her. “Maybe it’s Nathan. He said he had an idea.”
“Like his idea for calling Laura’s boss?”
“Yeah, right.” Then I tell her good-bye and take the next call, which turns out to be Mitch.
“Hey, I just saw you on the six o’clock news. What’s up with that?”
“Can you believe it?” Then I try to explain what happened and how it got so out of hand and how Nathan was going to fix everything. “I feel like we’re fighting a hopeless battle,” I finally say. “And the reason we went in there today was just to make peace.”
He laughs. “It’s like I told you, babe, you should just stay out of the fray. Some of those homos can get pretty crazy. And it sounds like your old buddy Jess is just one of the crowd.”
“It’s just so hard to believe.”
“Wake up and smell the coffee, Ramie.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.”
“I’m just so tired of it. I wish everything would just go back to normal.”
“What is normal?”
“You know, the way it was before. I wish that gay-alliance meeting had never happened.”
“And that everyone would just go back into the closet and shut up?”
“Yeah.” And, okay, so I guess I’m just as much of a hypocrite as Amy and Kelsey were today, maybe even more. I feel like a failure.
“I know how we can help you to forget about all this crud, Ramie,” he says. “Why don’t you let me take you out for some dinner and a movie—a movie that I promise won’t have anything to do with homosexuality, okay?”
I gladly agree. I leave Mom a note and change my clothes and suddenly I’m looking forward to the great escape. Just an evening with Mitch and some good entertainment. Why not?
But later on, I’m cringing in my seat in the movie theater, wondering why on earth Mitch would bring me to see a piece of garbage like this—and what is it rated anyway? I realize that sexual immorality is all around me. It’s like the entire culture is permeated with this crud. It’s like I can’t escape it. And, sitting there in the dark theater, I actually begin to cry. I feel like I’m not just crying for myself either, I am crying for everybody. How did we get to this low place? Why have we become a nation that’s drowning in immorality? What has plunged us down this slippery slope? Is there any way out?
Bright Purple: Color Me Confused with Bonus Content Page 14