Fortune and Fate (Baum's Boxing Book 2)

by E M Lindsey

  He wanted to correct the man that Isabel was never his ex, but he realized that was pedantic and pointless. “I trust him with the information I will give. That’s all I’ll say, but I wanted you aware that I’m meeting with him tonight and I need to explain the situation.”

  “Fair enough.” Taber slapped his open palms on his thighs, and his chair squeaked as he rose to his feet. “Monday afternoon there will be a crew by your place to install some extra security. They’ll go over the process with you since I made them aware of your needs for accommodation.”

  “Will Isabel and her family have what they need for the stay?” Cole asked.

  “I think there’s an expense account for that. I have a feeling they’re traveling light.” Taber’s phone beeped and he laid a hand on Cole’s arm. “Your car is here. I’ll walk you out.”

  Cole gave a stiff nod, then grabbed Kevin’s harness and followed his boss to the street. The air was crisp, the wind a little biting as Taber guided him to the back seat of the car. “Can you tell me the time?”

  “Just past nine,” Taber said. “I really am sorry about this.”

  “It’s fine,” Cole said. This had put a damper on his night, but the weekend could still be salvaged. He nodded his farewell to Taber, then urged Kevin in the car before sliding in and setting his buckle.

  As the car pulled away from the curb, Cole pushed his earbud into his ear and then used his voice-over program to send a quick text to Ryan.

  Cole: If you’re not busy, come over. I need to see you.

  He could only hope he hadn’t upset the one good thing he had going in his life.

  9.

  As Cole let Ryan in the front door, he briefly wondered if he was just lucky, or if the bar was set so low that Ryan showing up really was going above and beyond. Whatever the case was, he let Cole back him up to the closed front door and kiss him until he felt like he could breathe again.

  “Was it that bad?” Ryan asked, stroking Cole’s cheek with the back of his knuckles.

  Cole laid his forehead against Ryan’s collarbone and sighed out a lungful of bitter air. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, but I’m not sure if it’s the right time.”

  A warm finger touched his chin, drawing his face up. “Are you being sent home?” Ryan asked. His voice was open, honest, but full of an underlying tension and maybe even fear.

  Cole couldn’t help a small smile. “No, I’m not being sent home. I…can we talk somewhere else? I need to be off my feet.”

  Ryan wasted no time in taking Cole’s hand and following him to the bedroom. He didn’t bother with lights this time, figuring if Ryan wanted them, he could sort them himself. Mostly he was eager to change out of his suit and into something comfortable, then confess the whole disaster situation from the warm comfort of Ryan’s arms.

  It didn’t take long. He knew he’d regret being haphazard with his things in the morning, but for now he let his suit lay in a pile at the foot of his wardrobe and he found Ryan waiting for him under his thick down covers.

  “Talk to me,” Ryan said as he pulled Cole against him.

  Cole licked his lips. “I’m dealing with a sort of family emergency—if you want to call it that. I can’t really give you a lot of details, but it turns out that Isabel—the mother of my daughter—and her husband are coming to stay with me for some time.”

  Ryan was silent, only the sound of his even breathing audible between them. Then he carefully took Cole’s hand and pressed his lips to the inside of his wrist. “Okay,” he said. For how long?”

  “I don’t know, entirely.”

  “Will Claire be with them?” he asked.

  Cole couldn’t help his smile, even if the entire idea terrified him. “She will.”

  “So that’s good. Right? You’ll get to see her, spend some time with her after the whole…shit back in England when you were recovering.” Ryan stroked his fingers along the lines of Cole’s palm, the gesture so soothing it almost hurt. “Did you think I’d be jealous or something?”

  Cole’s smile widened a little as he shook his head. “No, nothing like that. I just can’t really talk about the circumstances, and it’s…difficult. I don’t want to do this.”

  “See your daughter?” Ryan asked.

  Partly, Cole thought, but he didn’t voice that aloud. “Having them here. In my space, with my things. I’m…it’s so much for me to process and I don’t know if I can actually do it.”

  Ryan’s hand moved from Cole’s cheek, threading his fingers into his hair, dragging blunt nails along his scalp. The gesture was one of the sweetest Cole had experienced in longer than he could remember—definitely the first time in his adult life had he been offered comfort like that. “You can do it, but I understand why the idea is overwhelming. Is there any way you can say no? Have them stay somewhere else? If it’s a money issue, I have plenty. I’m more than happy to give you…”

  “It isn’t money,” Cole interrupted, and had to turn his face, had to kiss the man for the unthinkingly kind offer. “It’s…more than I can explain, and I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Ryan murmured.

  Cole sighed and laid back against him. “I know I’ll live through it. Waking up, not just without sight, but the utter absence of it, was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. To this day there aren’t words to describe it in a way people can understand. My brain was in overdrive trying to rewire itself to function without my eyes, and a good portion of my body was in searing, burning pain. I can live through fumbling around a rearranged kitchen and tripping over stuffed animals.”

  “Cole,” Ryan said gently. “What can I do to make it easier?”

  Cole took in a breath and let it out, ignoring the slight tremble in the back of his throat. “Could you come round whilst they’re here? Just every so often, just enough to help keep me grounded.”

  “You don’t even need to ask,” Ryan told him, cupping his cheek again. “I want to be around you. I know we have an understanding of what we are—what this is—but I like you. I enjoy every second I spend with you.”

  Cole wasn’t so sure their previous understanding worked for them anymore. He understood the necessity of it, how impossible it truly would be to be together without being able to tell him the full truth, but it didn’t stop him from wanting more. It didn’t stop him of envisioning a future where they could have it. He had his own issues, and Ryan had his, but there was no denying this was more than just an arrangement of sex and casual friendship.

  “I want you,” Cole said instead of everything else he burned to say. “Please.”

  “Again,” Ryan said, his tone laughing and playful, “you don’t have to ask.” He wasted no time easing Cole down to the mattress, then gently lifted the hem of his t-shirt and followed a path from his sternum to the waistband of his shorts with a warm tongue and slightly sharp teeth. Cole felt his breathing hitch, his entire body curving upward toward Ryan, chasing the contact, and Ryan was happy to oblige. “I’m going to suck your dick now, okay?”

  Cole groaned, “Again, you don’t have to ask,” he threw back at him.

  Ryan chuckled, the laughter pushed right up against his pelvis as Ryan’s clever hands dug into elastic and fabric and gave a firm tug. Cole lifted his hips, his hands curling into fists and pressing into the mattress to ease the way, and he felt cool air drifting over him.

  “Gorgeous,” Ryan murmured. He laid a flat palm over the top of Cole’s leg, then leaned in and kissed the juncture between hip and thigh. It was close to where Cole was desperate to feel him, but not close enough.

  His hand went out, reaching, touching Ryan’s cheek as he urged his mouth to where his cock was leaking at the tip. “Please,” he begged.

  He startled a little when Ryan’s hand curled around him, a firm grip as he stroked, letting Cole’s foreskin slide. “God, I love that you’re uncut. Everything about you is so,” he trailed off with a groan, and Cole hissed through his teeth when Ryan bent for
ward and sucked the tip into his mouth.

  He didn’t sink down straight away, instead letting his tongue lave at the head of his cock while his hand stroked the rest of his length. The juxtaposition of the wet heat and dry palm were enough to send his head spinning, and his hips bucked up toward Ryan.

  “Yes,” Ryan said, pulling off with a wet pop. “Do you want to fuck my face? I want that. I want you to.”

  Cole felt a vicious, burning ache to be able to see that, to see Ryan’s gorgeous face, his wide open mouth taking all of him. But it was impossible—it would always be impossible—so Cole would have to do it another way. He felt Ryan shift between his legs, and when Ryan took his cock into his mouth again, Cole laid one hand on his cheek, his thumb resting against his lips where he could feel himself sliding in and out.

  The sensations were wholly erotic, threatening to send him over the edge if he lost himself too quickly. He curled his other hand into a fist, letting his nails dig into his palm as he began slow, tentative thrusts into Ryan’s mouth. He could feel it in his dick, against his fingers, feel the way Ryan’s mouth stretched around him. He remembered Ryan saying he had a scar on his lip that was visible when he smiled, and he wondered if taking cock made it visible too. He made a mental note to make Ryan watch himself one day in the mirror as Cole pushed himself between those lips and tell him exactly what it looked like.

  He groaned, his chest heaving. His balls started to tighten, and Ryan reached between his legs to cup them, dragging his fingers over the tight sack, then behind them where his hole quivered. He had no lube on hand, but Ryan wasn’t angling for that now. He dragged a dry fingertip over his opening, pressing down just slightly, then dragged a firm stroke along his taint as he gave a hard suck.

  It was the perfect storm of sensations, and Cole couldn’t hold back any longer. His hips stuttered and he felt himself spilling, felt Ryan swallowing down all of what he spent. Head flopping back down to the pillow, Cole felt himself go boneless as Ryan eased himself off the softening penis and crawled up to his side.

  “I want to take care of you,” Cole managed to say, rolling halfway to face him. “Let me.”

  Ryan pressed Cole’s hand to his cheek and shook his head. “I’m good, I promise.”

  Cole wanted to argue, but he didn’t have the physical or emotional energy for it. Instead, he let his thumb run over Ryan’s bottom lip and he could feel the slight swelling. “You probably looked completely wrecked. You have no idea how much I love that. A mess from taking my cock.”

  Ryan groaned, burying his face in Cole’s neck. “Jesus, that’s…you’re so…”

  Cole chuckled quietly. “Changing your mind about me helping you out?”

  “No,” Ryan said, a little petulant as he rose up to give Cole a kiss. “You need to learn to accept things that are just for you.”

  The words hit him in a way he wasn’t expecting, and he had no response other than to curl into the other man and finally, after what felt like a literal forever, let himself rest.

  ***

  More than anything, Ryan wished he had permission to talk about the whole kid and baby-mama—and her new husband, apparently—with Noah, but Ryan had given his word before leaving Cole’s house that their arrival would stay a secret until Cole said otherwise.

  The weekend had gone mostly as Ryan had originally planned. They fell to sleep after Ryan gave Cole the blow-job, and in the morning, he woke up to Cole making one of his three specialties—scrambled eggs—and coffee brewing.

  They ate, then fucked in one of the kitchen chairs, Ryan burying himself so deep in Cole’s ass, he swore for a moment their bodies wouldn’t separate. They spent the afternoon lounging with a couple of bad romance flicks, then went for dinner at Ryan’s favorite Mexican—a little bistro at the top of the hill which overlooked the city.

  “I kind of feel like an ass,” he confessed once they finished going through the menu.

  Cole frowned at him. “Why’s that?”

  “Well, I didn’t even think to ask if they had braille menus, and I uh…sort of chose this place for the view,” he confessed.

  Cole had just laughed, shaking his head. “You reading took a lot less time than I would have with braille,” he assured him. “I’m still getting the hang of it. And you can tell me about the view. It doesn’t bother me.”

  Ryan let out a breath, wondering if he would actually be any good at something like that. He’d never been a creative guy—his pragmatism outweighed anything artistic long before he became a lawyer, but for Cole, he would give it a try. He described the lights, the way the horizon was faintly orange and purple and pink with the sunset. He talked about the twisting roads off in the distance, and how the little restaurant made him feel like he was sitting on top of the city.

  Cole smiled at him, a sweet thing, and took his hand. “I love that. Thank you.”

  Ryan didn’t have a response, but he didn’t really need one. Ryan had to leave early Sunday afternoon to work on his case files, so they kissed long and slow in the doorway before Ryan promised to call him.

  It was everything a real relationship was supposed to be without the title or the promises, and he wasn’t sure if that was better, or if he was cheating Cole out of something more stable. In truth, if Cole asked him for more, he knew he’d be willing to give it. That went without question since the night Cole helped Noah get out of the mess with Barnes. He’d had plenty of friends with benefits before—and this was not it. His thoughts were interrupted when his phone gave a series of buzzes.

  Cole: There are some workers at mine this afternoon sorting my security system.

  Cole: Any chance you want to maybe come go over it with me at about six?

  Cole: Pizza and beer on me?

  Cole: Also I need to do a little shopping and wouldn’t mind the company.

  Cole: Feel free to ignore these dreadfully needy texts.

  Ryan allowed himself a good laugh before putting Cole out of his misery and texting back.

  Ryan: I have court at noon, and I don’t expect it to go beyond four since the judge this afternoon is a huge dick and doesn’t care if we get nothing done so long as he gets home in time for the nightly news and three whiskeys, so I can be there around six. And I’m happy to shop with you. We can take my car ;)

  Ryan: Does your voice text thing actually tell you about emojis or did you just read semi-colon parenthesis?

  Cole: Winking face emoji. Cute. Text me if anything changes.

  Yes, this was definitely no ordinary friends with benefits. Cole was more than a friend, and these were far more than benefits.

  ***

  Cole was waiting at the curb when Ryan pulled up, holding his cane and looking decidedly naked without Kevin beside him. Ryan didn’t switch off the car, but he opened the door and stood, looking at Cole over the roof. “Did you want to head out now, or show me around this security thing?”

  “There’s a delay,” Cole told him. “They’ll be by near eight, so I thought we could shop first. I need to pick up some things for when Claire and her mum arrive. I was sent this list,” he pulled a folded bit of paper out of his pocket. “It’s from Isabel and it’s in print so I was hoping you might be my reader.”

  Ryan felt a wave of irritation at the thoughtlessness of the woman. He still couldn’t work out her reasoning for keeping Cole’s daughter away from him, and then to impose herself in his home like this and not even attempt to understand his needs was beyond impolite. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his temper in check when he finally met her, though he knew he’d do his best, if only for Cole’s sake.

  He slid back into the car as Cole climbed in, tucking his folded cane between his feet, then handed the list over. Ryan unfolded it and peered at the neatly printed sheet of paper. “We can pick most of this up at Target,” he mused. “But…” He hesitated and Cole frowned.

  “But?”

  Ryan licked his lips, not sure he was going to be crossing any lines. “But a lot of th
is seems…it’s all stuff they should have with them while traveling. Toiletries, medication, socks, pajamas for Claire, books, toys, movies.”

  Cole looked uncomfortable and he shifted in his seat. “I…it’s fine.”

  “It’s part of the whole big thing you can’t tell me, right?” Ryan chanced.

  Cole’s shoulders sagged and he looked defeated. “If I could…”

  Ryan shook his head. “It’s fine, I get it.” He didn’t though, but he was starting to suspect that there was more to Cole than just an ex-Marine tech-freelancer. Something was going on, but it wasn’t his place to ask. Feelings didn’t mean he was owed anything, and Cole had made it very plain there couldn’t be anything concrete between them.

  There was a decidedly tense silence between them as he hit the road, and Ryan figured it was best not to try and make conversation. He glanced over one or two times to see Cole wringing his hands between his knees, and he fought the urge to reach out and comfort him. Whatever was going on, it was weighing on the guy, but he didn’t think Cole would talk to him. Not yet.

  “We’re just about there,” Ryan said, slowing down to make the turn into the parking lot. “You okay?”

  Cole’s head turned toward him, his brows furrowed. “Yeah, no worries.”

  Ryan could hear the lie in his voice, and he let out a quiet sigh. “I know you can’t talk to me about much, which like…I can’t lie to you man, it’s freaking me out a little. But you also know how much I like you and whatever you can talk about, I’m here.” He pulled the car into a space and startled when Cole reached for him, touching his shoulder with a firm grip.

  “It isn’t that I don’t want to, and I need you to understand that. I also need you to understand how much I appreciate this. I dunno if I would be so…diplomatic if the situations were reversed.”