Fifty Falling Stars

by Wesley Higginbotham

  The men dug in silence for a little while, looking at the grave, lost in their own thoughts. They dug in the garden, facing away from the house. None of them noticed Joey walking up to the grave, as George laid the shovel on the ground and pulled himself out of the now four-foot deep grave. “Damn. I wish we could have just put her in the other grave so we wouldn’t have to dig two.”

  “What the fuck, man?” Will said. “That’s pretty…” A roar cut him off as someone leapt across the open grave and tackled George from behind.

  Will watched as the two men rolled. When they stopped, Joey was on top of George, slamming his fist into George’s face. Oh, God. Will thought. Joey must have heard that. Out of all the stupid shit George had ever said, he had to say this where a man whose mother had just died, could hear him. George struggled to fight back, but the blows kept him pinned. Joey yelled something that Will couldn’t make out as he grabbed him and pulled him off of George. Once Will had Joey to his feet, he rotated him and gave him a shove. Barry rushed over to help his son up.

  “You bastard, if you ever say anything like that again I’ll fucking kill you! You got me, you piece of shit!?” Joey yelled.

  George stood, wiping the blood from his nose and mouth with his sweat stained shirt. Will hoped George would apologize, but he knew his cousin too well for that. “Fuck you!” George spat. “I’m sorry your damned mother died, but I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t want to be out here digging another goddamned grave!”

  Joey made another lunge for George, but Will held him back. Barry put a hand on George’s shoulder to keep him from going after Joey. Joey acted like he was turning to go back to the house. He reversed quickly and shoved past Will. Before anyone could register what was happening, Joey held a pistol pointed at George. Will stepped between Joey and George. “Move!” Joey commanded through gritted teeth.

  “I can’t do that, brother.” Will said.

  “This doesn’t concern you, Will.”

  “What are you going to do? You going to shoot George?”

  “I’m going to put a fucking bullet in his shit-eating mouth!” Joey stated.

  Will saw the gun shaking in Joey’s hand and the tears building and eventually spilling from his eyes. “Listen, this isn’t the answer. George isn’t your enemy. You know he’s a smartass. He didn’t mean what he said, the way he said it.”

  “I really don’t give a shit.”

  “Well…”George started to say something, but Barry silenced him with a look.

  “Listen, bro. We’re all tired. We’re all scared. We’ve all lost someone we care about. This sucks… But we can’t turn on each other, no matter how stupid someone acts or the stupid things they say. We’re all on edge and want to lash out at anything that pisses us off. We have to be even more forgiving of each other in times like these. George was just trying to say that he didn’t want to be out here digging another grave. None of us want to be out here wasting time and energy to put someone we loved into the ground, but it’s the right thing to do, while we can do it.” He paused and locked eyes with Joey. “At least we’re able to bury your mom...”

  Joey lowered the gun and started to say something, but he turned and walked away from the grave and the men standing beside it. Once he had gone back in the house, George turned to Will and said. “Man, can you believe that son of a bitch?”

  Will shook his head. “You’re an impossible asshole.” He turned and walked away.

  George started to say something to Barry, but Barry turned and walked toward the house. He took a couple of steps and turned back to George. “Hey, dumbass, I would lay low for a little while if I were you. When we come out here in a little while to bury Kerry, I suggest you hang back and pay your respects from a distance.” Barry continued on his way toward the house.

  George was pissed. Pissed at Joey. Pissed at Will. Pissed at his dad. And most of all, pissed at himself. He walked over to the side of the back garden and waited for the other men to bring out Kerry.

  Twenty minutes later, George watched as Will, Barry, and Joey brought Kerry out of the back door. She was wrapped in the sheet she had died on. Will and Barry held the sheet to either side of her head while Joey supported her lower body. The women filed out of the door behind the men. As the group drew close to the grave, Jenny shot George dirty looks. Chuck and Joey ignored him.

  The men laid Kerry in the grave. Chuck held Jenny as she cried. Joey walked up and put his arm around his sister and his dad. The group looked at the bundle in the bottom of the grave in silence for several minutes. No one had the right words to say. Chuck and his children were too shaken to speak. Barry finally spoke, addressing Kerry. “We didn’t have the chance to know you for very long, only just a few short weeks. From what we did learn of you in that short time, we loved you.” Pam stepped closer to her husband, put her arm around his waist, and wiped away a tear with her free hand. “You were kind, helpful, and provided comfort to all of us with your presence. You selflessly cared for all of us, especially Sarah. You lent strength to us when our friend and brother Jim passed away. You were part of the core that held us together. We will miss you, Kerry. We hope you have found the peace that you deserve.”

  By the time that Barry finished, tears stained every face, even George’s. Will wiped his eyes dry on his shirtsleeve and filled the shovel with dirt. He stopped short of dropping the first load of earth into the grave when Jenny dropped down to her knees. She reached her hand toward the grave. Joey sank beside her and held her back. “We love and miss you, mom.” He said as Jenny began to sob against his chest. Will dropped the first of many shovelfuls of dirt into the grave. He glanced around at the group as he worked. He saw despair, sadness, and hopelessness in the faces of his family. He had been wrong about people moving on quicker now. The traumas of the last weeks were digging through his family, waiting for any opportunity to break through. Nerves on edge, fear of the future, not knowing when things would get better, where to go, or what to do had left the group listless and fragile.

  The next day, the family sat at the kitchen table eating another round of deer stew for lunch and discussing what to do next. Barry excused himself to go to the bathroom. Joey wanted to go out hunting again while Will argued the merits of conserving ammunition. George walked into the room.

  Last night had been tense for the family. George avoided the family as much as they did him. Whenever he got close, the other family members would shut down. Joey, Chuck, and Jenny cursed him. His own parents shook their heads in disappointment. Even Will avoided him. The only person who hadn’t expressed disgust at him was Betty.

  The room grew quiet as George stood there, looking down on them. “I have something to say to everyone, if that’s ok?” No one spoke. George took that for about as much consent as he could hope for. He looked down at the floor and clasped his hands together in front of him, wringing them. His face showed the fruits of Joey’s beating, a busted lip and a swollen left cheek that was beginning to turn dark. “I was wrong. I didn’t mean to be so insensitive. I miss her too, you know. I just hope that you can please forgive me.”

  Joey and Chuck just looked at him. Jenny rose up out of her seat. “Hell no! You have no idea how much that hurt.”

  “But I…” George stammered. Jen kept talking over him.

  “You wish she had died earlier just so you wouldn’t have to do a little extra work! That’s the laziest most hurtful thing anyone has ever said. My mother dies and you say something so hurtful, and then just walk in here and apologize and expect us to forgive you? No! I don’t forgive you. I wish Joey had shot you yesterday when he had the chance.” She began to cry again.

  Will had never seen her so upset. He tried to calm things down. “Sweetheart, don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”

  “No! So much has gone wrong, and he hasn’t done anything but get in the way most of the time. I don’t know why we…”

  Barry rushed into the room. “We have company coming down the road
!”

  The group looked around at each other. Will was the first to his feet. “What do you mean ‘company?”

  “Just a group of people walking down the road. I was coming back from the bathroom and just happened to glance out the front window, and saw them there.”

  Will rushed to the window. He counted six women and eight men, all armed except for one woman who looked to be about eight months pregnant. They stood less than three hundred yards away from the house. He saw one of the women in the front of the group turn back to the others and point toward the house.

  “What do you think they want?” Pam asked.

  “Maybe they’re just like we were, just looking for some shelter.” Will said.

  “Or maybe they’re scavenging or raiding the homes along the road to see what they can get.” Joey stated.

  “Do you think they might just pass us by?” Betty asked.

  “I doubt it. I just saw one of the women point to the house. I think they’re going to come check out the place.”

  “What should we do?” Jenny asked as she looked out the window on the other side of the front door.

  “I don’t know.” Will said. “I don’t think they’re raiders. One of the women looks pregnant.”

  “Do you think they need help?” Jenny asked.

  “I don’t know. They look pretty ragged.” Will said.

  “I say we take a few shots at them before they get to close.” Joey suggested.

  “And fire on a pregnant woman?” Chuck asked his son.

  Joey shrugged his shoulders. “If they are hostile, then we’ll have wasted a good chance to thin their numbers before they get close enough to fire at us. The closer they get, the less effective cover the house will be.”

  “If we do shoot at them, they’ll definitely be hostile.” Will said.

  “Or it could scare them off.” George said.

  “No. I don’t feel right about shooting at folks just going down the road. Especially since they have a pregnant chick with them.” Will said. “Let’s just see what they do.”

  They watched as the group walked up the road. The group of strangers turned and walked down the driveway. The man leading the group made a motion with his arm. The group stopped and fanned out about forty yards in front of the house. The leader and another man kept going forward. “George, raise that window and get your gun ready. I’ll do the same. Joey, you head back to the guest room and cover them from there.”

  Joey pulled out his pistol and handed it to Jenny as he turned to go down the hall. “Just in case, little sis.”

  Will locked the front door and took aim at the leader from the window. The two men were now twenty-five yards from the house. “Stop right there!” Will shouted out the window.

  The men complied, noticing the guns poking out of the windows. “We don’t mean any harm.” The leader said. “We’re just looking for food and a place to stay.”

  Will turned to the rest of the family who stood by the kitchen doorway. He whispered, “Barry, you, Chuck, and mom get all of our supplies ready to leave. Pack everything you can on the ATV’s as fast as you can.” They began packing stuff up and taking it out the back door.

  “You thinking of running again?” George asked.

  “There’re at least fourteen of them. If they want this to get messy, I don’t know that we can win, even though we have the house for cover. If we run, we can almost definitely make it.”

  “I’m tired of running.” George said.

  “Me too.” Will agreed. “There are just not enough of us.”

  The man in the front yard called out again. “We just want some food… Please?”

  “I’m sorry. We can’t help you.” Will called back. “Where are you coming from?”

  “We’re coming out of Crossville.” The man replied.

  “Why did you leave there?”

  “Things have just got too bad. The city got a lot of people coming in from the highway when things first started to go bad. We tried rationing the food we found in the grocery stores and what the National Guard dropped off before they left; but with the extra people, the town ran out three weeks back. Figured we’d head south, out of town and see what we could find.” The man said.

  “You believe him?” George whispered. Will shrugged his shoulders.

  “We can’t help you. We don’t have any extra food.” Will said.

  “Please Mr. My girlfriend’s pregnant. I have to feed her. Just a little something, sir?” The man pleaded and motioned behind him. The pregnant woman walked up to join him.

  “Will, don’t we have something to spare? I mean, she’s pregnant.” Jenny said.

  Pregnant… “Jenny, wouldn’t a pregnant woman miscarry if she hadn’t eaten for three weeks?” Will asked.

  “It’s possible. It’s definitely not good for the baby. She might not, depending on how fat she was before they ran out of food. It’s hard to say without knowing more. Why?” Jenny asked.

  “Just trying to figure out if they’re telling the truth.” Will said.

  “We can trade Mr.” The man out front said. “We ain’t got much, but we’ll trade for some food.”

  “Would you trade your guns?” Will asked.

  “Man, first you say you can’t help us because you got no food. Then you try to get us to give up our guns! You got food and you’re just going to let me and my wife and baby starve?” The man yelled.

  Shit. Will thought to himself. I didn’t mean to imply that we had food. I just wanted to see if we could get some guns. “We don’t have any food!” Will yelled out the window. Wait, the man just said that she was his girlfriend a couple minutes ago. Now she’s his wife. Did this mean the man was lying? Will wondered when he had lost his capacity to trust people.

  “Don’t you lie to us! I can’t believe you’re just going to let a pregnant woman starve to death!” The man continued.

  “Come on, Will. Can’t we spare something for the mother?” Jenny pleaded.

  A gunshot from the other end of the house cut off Will’s reply. Joey ran into the front room and yelled, “One of them slipped through the tree line on the side of the yard and was headed behind the house. I didn’t see them until it was too late. I got a shot off but didn’t hit anything.”

  Will turned to the rest of the family, “Get back there and protect Barry and Pam.” He turned and looked out the window. The man out front panicked at Joey’s shot. He raised a gun and fired at the house. He made a gestured to the group behind him. Bullets streaked through the widows. Everyone inside, except for Will, ducked and scrambled back to the kitchen.

  Barry tied some of their supplies on the ATV’s while Chuck and the ladies went inside to collect more. A woman with a rifle came around the corner of the house. She was as surprised to see him as he was her. She raised her gun as he dove behind the ATV. She was so focused on Barry that Jenny surprised her when she led the family out of the kitchen and onto the back porch. The women spun and fired a shot that hit the wall to the right of the doorframe. Jenny let out a high-pithed scream. She reached for the pistol that Joey had given her. She didn’t aim. She just pointed and started jerking the trigger. The gun fired the first seven times she pulled the trigger. It made clicking noises after that.

  The woman with the rifle turned to run. Tufts of grass and dirt flew up all around her. She thought she might escape until something heavy thudded into the top center of her back. She fell facedown. Her legs no longer worked. She couldn’t feel anything below her shoulders. Oh, God! I can’t breathe! She thought as panic took hold. She dried to drag herself away using her hands, fingernails breaking in the dirt as she scrambled to get away. She didn’t make it far.

  Will popped his head up to see out the window. The pregnant lady was running back toward the group, who had all either crouched or laid down, guns trained on the windows. Will saw two men rush for the front door. Another volley of bullets forced he to duck back below the window. He heard the men try the door, but the lock held.
He scrambled back to the kitchen door just before one of the men shot the lock. Splinters flew from the door and sailed in his direction.

  Will saw one of the men step into the doorway. With his back against the wall, he shot from the hip. He squeezed of eight rounds as fast as he could from his rifle. His first shot tore a hole in the door frame. His second and third shots dropped the man. The rest of his shots went wild through the door. He used the opportunity to scamper through the open kitchen door and take cover behind the wall.

  A woman in the front yard screamed. Will heard footsteps on the front porch. He braced his gun on his shoulder and swung around the wall. Through the open door he saw the man he had killed lying on the porch. Beyond the dead man, Will saw the group leader crouching next to the pregnant lady. She was on her knees, supporting herself on her right hand as her left clutched her swollen belly. No. No. No! Will screamed in his head. Between shrill screams, the woman yelled, “Oh, God! Ricky the baby!” Blood spurted from her abdomen. It squeezed through her fingers and ran down her dirty yellow t-shirt, collecting in dark puddles on her jeans.

  Will ducked back behind the wall and began to shake. He wanted to puke, but his body failed him even in that. He had killed several time before, but they had always been justified either in self-defense or, in the case of the guy that had killed Bear, out of what he considered justifiable retribution. He had never killed an innocent. That just wasn’t who he was. Was it? The woman was innocent wasn’t she? She didn’t have a gun, did she? The baby inside of her was innocent. One of his wild shots out the door must have hit her. It was an accident, of sorts. What had he done? Just a little shot discipline would have saved the baby. Just a little. The trembles became worse.

  The sound of the ATV’s starting jarred him out of his stupor. Must leave! A voice deep inside of him cried out. Gunshots continued to pelt the house from the front yard as he made his way out the back door. A dead lady sprawled in the grass, and Jenny was shaking. He didn’t have time to ask questions. “Let’s go!” He barked as he led the family through the back yard and past the garden and the fresh graves of Sarah and Kerry. George and Joey brought up the rear, making sure no one followed as they entered the woods behind the house. No one followed.