Privateer (The Five Kingdoms #1)

by Robin Roseau

  "Later. Yes."

  "Will you need to gag me?"

  "I don't think I could make you mad right now if I tried."

  "Sorri, I get normal mad, too. So yes, you could. For instance, if your lips get any closer to my neck, I am leaving, and you will not be touching me again tonight."

  I quickly moved my mouth away from her neck.

  "Thank you," she said quietly.

  We stayed quietly like that for a while. She didn't object when I laid my chin on her shoulder. She leaned her head to the side so our cheeks were touching. It felt nice, and I tightened my arms around her.

  "You aren't really doing anything here, Sorri. Are you?"

  "I like watching the ship. And I like making the officer of the watch nervous."

  She chuckled. "I don't think it's working."

  "It never does except when someone is new at it. You, for instance, are going to be nervous tomorrow from noon until six."

  "Excuse me? I can't be the officer of the watch."

  "No, but you will be at the wheel."

  "It doesn't look that hard," she observed. "Just stand there."

  "I have ordered the cooks to feed the passengers food that sits poorly on an upset stomach. If they all get sick from your steering, you will be to blame."

  "You are so full of it." She paused. "You shouldn't tease when you are being Captain. You may tease when you are Sorri."

  "I will consider your suggestion. I find it unlikely I will follow it. However, I understand what you're saying."

  "Are you playful with the crew?"

  "Not in the slightest, and only a little with the officers. So this is fun for me. I don't get this very often."

  "Then you may tease," she offered. "But if I misunderstand, it is not my fault. You may not tease about my doing a poor job. I will take it personally. You may also not lie and say I did a good job if I did not."

  She watched the seaman at the wheel. "He's just standing there. His hand is barely on the wheel."

  "Then you won't have the slightest problem holding a steady course. That is the standard. A straight, steady course, and it must look easy. In difficult seas, the expectation changes, but the seas tomorrow will not be difficult."

  "So if I fulfill the standard, do I win something?"

  "Yes," I said. "You get to do it the next day."

  I thought about it. "No."

  "You can't tell me no."

  "We'll be near shore."

  "So you admit it's not as easy as it looks, and you're only willing to steer when we're hundreds of miles from anything you can run us into, but being five miles away is too close?"

  She laughed. "When you put it that way, it puts a different perspective on things."

  "Of course, sandbars are more common near shore, and sometimes the charts are wrong. You need to be ready to respond to Commander Halfheart's orders very quickly."

  She wriggled her bottom.

  I laughed. "Two can tease?"

  "Yes."

  "It is time to go below, Ensign."

  "May I ask more questions first, Captain?"

  "Briefly."

  "You intend us on a westerly course during the day but a different course at night. I understand that is to confuse me, but I don't really understand."

  "It's not to confuse you. We take the westerly course during the day because heading west is how we will find land. At night, we may not see land until it's too late. We take the other course at night because we know it is into open sea in the basic direction we need to go. If we knew exactly where we were, and I hadn't let you know where we were, we would take a direct route. But we are not sure where we are, so we are cautious."

  "If you knew where we were, but I also knew where we were, what would you do?"

  "I wouldn't have let you know where we were if we weren't going to do it this way. I would have lied to you."

  "Did you lie to me the night you taught me to use the sextant?"

  "Yes. I adjusted the settings before I let you see them. I didn't want you to know how we like to get here. As is, I probably should have adjusted them even further. You know more than I should have let you know."

  She swiveled around in my arms until she was facing me. I thought she intended to kiss me. Instead she laid her head on my chest and leaned against me. "Sorri. I wish we had met differently."

  "We would never have met differently, Rani. I am very, very glad Minori was terrified when we took you."

  "You are pleased to have scared Minori?" But she said it with a lilt in her voice, and she knew what I meant. "Captain, I am going to be bored in the cabin."

  "Do some of your duties. I will be an hour or so, maybe less."

  "You should have books on board. And games for the children."

  "You are right."

  "And more clothes and blankets."

  "You are right. We do not often have the trouble we had on this trip. We nearly always take people from their beds, bringing their own clothes with them."

  "I didn't want to know that. That's horrible, Captain. Beds are supposed to be a safe place."

  She pushed away, and she was angry with me.

  "Damn it," she said, looking at me. "I was feeling good. Now it's ruined."

  "Come here," I said, opening my arms.

  "No. Take your time, Captain."

  She fled.

  Damn it.

  Explanation

  Rani Karden

  She had ruined my mood with one sentence. I hated her for it. I was falling for her; I knew I was. I had vowed I wouldn't do that. I had vowed I wouldn't allow kindness towards Minori to soften my heart. And then she had gone ahead and saved Minori's life, and I thought it was done at great risk to herself. She had downplayed it, but I thought she was lying.

  I remembered the way she had dived into the water, and from such a great height. I had shoved my hand in my mouth in fear, but it was stunning to watch. She had entered the water cleanly, and then I didn't see her and I was so afraid she hadn't come up.

  How could someone that courageous do what she did just for money? How could someone who seemed so kind take children from their warm beds?

  Perhaps she was a good actress. She acted kind. She acted like she cared about me, but maybe every cruise she picked out someone to take to her bed.

  I began working myself into a real snit, pacing back and forth in the cabin. And I was effectively locked in; if I started to lose it, there wasn't even anyone here to help. There wasn't anyone to talk to. I couldn't run away. I couldn't hide from any of this.

  I didn't think she was acting, but nothing else added up. She couldn't be how she appeared and do what she did.

  But she had saved Minori, and she had truly seemed to care. It wasn't done like someone protecting an investment. It was done as someone protecting a child, protecting a friend. She hadn't been aloof afterwards. She had been kind and protective afterwards.

  And while I didn't expect to ever use what she was teaching me, she was teaching me. She was spending far, far too much time on me if all she wanted was someone to bed, especially as she had to know I wasn't going to let her. No matter how much I wanted her long legs wrapped around me, I wasn't going to let her.

  Why did she have to be so stunning? Her skin was rough, chapped by the sea and the wind, but her lips were soft and inviting, her arms were warm, and she was so amazingly strong.

  She was kind to me. She was kind to Minori. She had helped me understand how to pay the price of my magic in a fashion that may actually let me have an agreeable life with other people. I had reconciled with Glora, which I had never imagined could happen, and I was sure Sorri's influence had been at play. I would have paid any amount of money asked for that. It was going to cost my brother quite a lot, but he could afford it, I thought. And my ten crown bond was nothing compared to what I had gained.

  I paced around the cabin, growing increasingly confused.

  I didn't know what to do. I didn't remotely know what to think of
her.

  She ran a good ship; that was clear. The crew loved her; that was also clear. But she made them money, perhaps a great deal of money, and perhaps that was all that mattered.

  The crew I had met had seemed kind. How could they do this? I didn't understand it.

  I felt the ship maneuvering, but I couldn't have guessed our new heading when we were done. I was sure it would be southward, and I thought perhaps we were leaning towards the left more than we had, suggesting the wind was more off our right side. But that didn't tell me anything about where we were going.

  I was in her cabin an hour before the captain appeared. She froze in the doorway the moment she saw me.

  "Are you all right, Rani?"

  "No, I'm not all right!" I yelled. "God damn it, Sorri, I am not all right!"

  She stepped in slowly and closed the door.

  "Do you need me to gag you?" she asked quietly. "Or even take you to the brig so you won't hurt yourself?"

  "Damn it! This is normal anger. I told you, I experience normal anger just like everyone else." I stormed around, clenching and unclenching my fists. "Why do you have to be so nice? How can any of you be as kind as you are and do what you do to us? I don't understand it! It has to be an act. You couldn't be like this and do what you do to us! You couldn't take mothers and children from their warm beds. You couldn't. And that means this is all an act!"

  "Does it feel like an act?" she asked softly.

  "It has to be!"

  "That's because you don't understand."

  I turned to face her, but I couldn't look at her. All I wanted was her to convince me she was what she seemed, but she couldn't be. I wanted to be in her arms, but I couldn't let her touch me.

  She stepped closer and reached out, but I moved away, putting her table between us.

  "You don't even do it for a cause. At least that I could understand. You aren't doing it for patriotism. You aren't doing it because we hurt you, or even because our lords hurt you. You're doing it for money. You ruin lives for money! How can you do that?"

  "Rani," she said gently. "Will you let me explain? Will you listen?"

  "No! You are going to tell me more lies!"

  "I have mislead you where we are, but I believe you would agree that is reasonable for me to do. It isn't dishonest. I have not lied to you about anything else. Not one thing."

  I stared at her, not sure whether I believed her, sure that I couldn't.

  "If you aren't going to listen to what I say, I won't bother, Rani," she said. "And I won't even tell you anything that you will think is a lie. I will explain our perspective. I will explain how good people could do this."

  "They can't!"

  "They can. Please, Rani, I really want you to understand."

  "I don't want to listen, Captain!"

  "I nearly died today, Rani," she said very quietly, and the room grew still. Even the ship's noises disappeared. "I nearly died today. I nearly died saving your niece."

  I didn't have a response.

  "I went in from the aft quarterdeck. Do you know how much can go wrong just on the dive into the water? It is so high. I do not allow anyone other than Radha do that dive, ever. We practice in warm, calm water. We wouldn't dream of practicing in waters like we were in today. I could have died without ever coming to the surface. And then I still almost died from the cold. If the seamen hadn't been as rough with the passengers as they were, moving them to safety, Radha wouldn't have gotten the ship back in time. Three or four more minutes in the water would have been too many."

  I turned away from her, not wanting to come to the conclusion she was painting.

  "Do you think I did it for the money? To protect my investment? Or did I do it for Minori? Answer that. Why did I risk it?"

  "Minori," I said. "You did it for Minori. And maybe for me."

  "I would have done it for any of you. I wouldn't do it for a crew member, because they all know how to swim. I require them to learn. But I went in for a passenger."

  "You did it for Minori."

  "I did it for a passenger on my ship. Yes, I did it for Minori. But you owe me. I have two favors to ask, one small, one perhaps not so small."

  "What?"

  "The first is this: you will let me explain why we do this. I do not expect you to change your mind. In fact, I promise you will not. I only ask you try very hard to understand. We will talk all night, if that is what it takes. If by morning, you do not understand, we will turn around after we have fresh supplies, if that is what you ask, and we will accept whatever ransom offers we have been given, and we will return all of you."

  "You still want your ransoms."

  "Yes. I don't want to get hung up on that. No one on board is paying those ransoms. The governor of Southgate is a legitimate war target. He is paying."

  "Minori has paid!"

  "Please, let me explain. That is the favor I ask."

  "You said two favors."

  "If you come to understand why, then I am going to tell you something else, and then, if you believe me, I have a large favor to ask. You may not grant it. You owe me considering the favor. You do not owe me the favor. That is all. I will ask you to consider the favor."

  "You are asking for a conversation. For saving my niece, I grant you a conversation."

  "And try, in spite of how difficult it may be, to understand. To try to have an open enough mind to understand. Can you do that?"

  I turned to face her. She looked at me hopefully, and I couldn't understand how someone could be such an actor that she could look like she actually cared what I thought.

  "All right," I said. I turned away. "I need something to drink."

  "Wine?"

  "Yes, and water. I didn't bring any. Or tea. I know I may not go get it."

  "I will have it delivered. All right?"

  I nodded. She stepped past me, closing the door, and then I heard her commanding voice calling to someone. She returned moments later.

  "Will you sit? Please?"

  She pulled out a chair, and I sat in it. She pulled out another, and we looked across the table at each other.

  "I am going to ask some questions." I nodded. "Who have we hurt?"

  "You hurt all of us!"

  "In what way? Show me your cuts. Show me your broken bones."

  "Well, you didn't hurt us like that."

  "We scared you when we took you."

  "Yes."

  "We interrupted your lives."

  "Yes. And you made the children cry. And you are going to take money from me that is difficult for me to replace."

  "You are a special case. Will you admit that?"

  "All right."

  "And I believe you are paying a price you would pay for what you have received."

  "Shut up."

  She smiled. "Am I wrong?"

  "No."

  "So, we scared you and interrupted your lives. But we have fed you well. And we are giving you an adventure."

  "We didn't ask for your adventure."

  "The adventure has barely started, Rani. Wait until you see the island. It is beautiful. It is so beautiful. The sand glistens, and the water is a shade of green you see nowhere else. There are no bugs. I don't know why, but there are no bugs, or at least none that bother us. We will swim, and we can fish if we like. There are dolphin that play outside the reef, and we can go out in the morning and feed them."

  "A very expensive vacation, Captain!"

  "Your argument is we prey on the helpless and weak. Your argument is that it is okay for us to fight merchant ships and navy ships and soldiers and yes, your brother. Yes?"

  "Yes. That is war. This is not."

  "The children do not pay the ransom, Rani. You cannot throw that in my face if you agree we may target your brother. If you want to argue the ransom, please do not accuse us of taking money from children. We do not. Your niece will leave this ship with the money I gave her. You will leave the ship with the money still in your satchel. We did not search any of you e
xcept for weapons."

  "You took the gems."

  "Who buys the gems?"

  I sighed.

  "Your sister-in-law is wearing an expensive necklace. She is still wearing it. It was her grandmothers. We did not take it, and we won't."

  "You ruined our clothes, and I can ill afford that."

  "For that, you have my apologies. But every piece of jewelry we took, every gem we took, we asked, 'where did you get this?' And if someone said, 'it was my mother's', we did not take it. If anyone could explain why it could not be replaced the day after we got back, we did not take it. One of the girls is wearing a bauble; it is not expensive, and I can find a hundred like it in the cheapest of shops, but a boy gave it to her, and we did not take it."

  I stared at her.

  "The old woman-"

  "She isn't that old."

  "You know who I mean. I forget her name. She is so quiet. She has a ring with an exquisite black pearl on it. The pearl is unique. The setting is cheap, far too cheap for the pearl it holds. I could get forty crowns for the pearl. Her husband found that pearl himself. He was digging oysters for a simple fish boil, and he found that pearl. We did not take it. Forty crowns, Rani! We did not take it, because she can't possibly replace it. And we won't make her ransom it back from us, either, because that would be cruel."

  "And what you do to us isn't cruel?"

  "Is it? Name one cruel thing I have done to any of you."

  "The brig-"

  "-Was your choice. We warned you. We talked about why the brig is so demeaning. Are you ready to answer the question I asked you?"

  "Your brig was cruel!" I yelled at her.

  "In what way?"

  "I felt so helpless."

  "Yes, I am sure you did. What else?"

  "It is demeaning."

  "Yes. That is intentional. What makes it cruel?"

  "You admit it!"

  "I admit it is demeaning. I am sure you felt exceedingly helpless and very angry. The goal of putting you there, or anyone else we put there, is to make you meek and to agree to your parole. And then after, to convince you to maintain your parole rather than risk a return to the brig."

  "Well, it's effective at that!" I spat.

  "Yes. If the brig were a simple jail cell, where would you be right now?"