Huntington Family Series

by Rachel Ann Nunes

  “Will you stay for dinner?” her mother asked, cutting through Kerrianne’s reverie.

  “I was hoping you’d ask.” Kerrianne gave a self-conscious laugh. “I love to cook, but these guys don’t really appreciate my concoctions.” She spun Benjamin around on his chair and then Caleb. They giggled loudly, grasping the armrests so they wouldn’t fall. “I guess it’s hardly worth it to make something elaborate for just me.”

  “Well, I’d love the company.” Jessica glanced pointedly at Cameron. “He eats a lot, as you can plainly see, and he’s appreciative as ever, but he’s been rather too preoccupied to be good company.”

  Cameron came around the counter, giving his wife a good-natured hug. “Sorry about that, honey.” To Kerrianne, he added. “I bought a stamp collection over the Internet from an estate sale in Missouri. The stamps arrived on Monday, and I’ve been organizing them after work.” He kissed his wife’s cheek. “I’ll be done soon.”

  Jessica hit him playfully with the dishtowel in her hands. “Go on then. I’ve got Kerrianne and the kids to keep me company tonight.”

  With another kiss, Cameron winked at Kerrianne and escaped from the room. Jessica watched him leave, her blue eyes happy.

  Kerrianne felt warmth seep into her heart. Some might think her parents mismatched, at least in appearance, but she had never doubted their love and commitment. They were the best example to Kerrianne of the beauty of marriage and family.

  “That reminds me,” Jessica said. “Do you have anything to wear tomorrow night?”

  Kerrianne shrugged and shook her head. “Not particularly. I’ll probably wear my black pants and that pink blouse Manda gave me.”

  “No, you won’t. I was thinking about you going out with that friend of yours when I was shopping the other day. I saw this outfit that seemed to have your name on it. As soon as dinner’s on, I’ll show you.”

  “Mom, you didn’t have to do—”

  Jessica waved her protest aside. “Of course not. I wanted to.”

  “Twirl me again, Mommy,” Caleb pleaded.

  “And me!” Benjamin added.

  Kerrianne obliged. Then she spun Misty as well, who had recovered from her pouting and was her normal sunshiny self. The moment was absolutely perfect. Kerrianne was in a safe, familiar house with parents who loved her and wonderful children who were the light of her life. Her mother had bought her an outfit that would take care of her wardrobe concerns for tomorrow without her having to think about it or gear up for a shopping trip—an outfit likely more in style and of better quality than Kerrianne herself would have chosen on her limited budget. Yes, the moment was perfect. There wasn’t even room to miss Adam. Or was he here with her?

  She sighed. “I wish we could keep this moment for always. It’s so perfect. I wish we could stay right here and never go on.”

  Her mother gave a warm chuckle. “Oh, sweetheart, if we stayed right here, we wouldn’t ever be able to experience all the other perfect moments ahead.”

  “Then let’s go from perfect moment to perfect moment.” She knew it sounded silly, but that was what she wanted.

  “But then they wouldn’t seem perfect anymore.” Jessica came around the counter and put her arm around Kerrianne. “The sadness and the trials of those many unperfect moments is what makes us able to appreciate the perfect ones when they come along.”

  Her mother was right, and Kerrianne knew it. “Opposition in all things,” she murmured somewhat resentfully. So much for her perfect moment.

  “Something like that,” Jessica said softly, her voice gentle and filled with understanding. “And I’m grateful. If there weren’t opposition, I would never understand when the Lord is blessing me.”

  Kerrianne turned into her mother’s arms and buried her face in her neck, fighting tears—of gratitude and pain, but most important of hope for the future. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too, Kerrianne. And I know there are many good things ahead for you. It’s just a matter of time.”

  Chapter Nine

  Kerrianne had more than her share of company as she dressed for her night out with Maxine. Her brother Mitch and his wife, Cory, had brought Lexi over to baby-sit again. They were also leaving their adopted three-year-old daughter, EmJay, to be watched by Lexi. Amanda and Blake, who had left their children home with a sitter, had come to pick up Mitch and Cory with the plan of catching a movie together. Kerrianne tried not to feel strange about them going out without her. Often she would accompany them, as they were really the only married couples she knew who still included her in their lives.

  Cory and Amanda left the children with the men downstairs and waited in Kerrianne’s room to see her new outfit. Maxine had come over earlier with Kerrianne’s new makeup and helped her style her hair, so she was as ready as she was ever going to be. Her outfit consisted of wine-colored pants with black trim on the wide cuffed legs and around the faux pockets. The matching top was a fitted lightweight sweater accented by black fur trim around both the scooped neck and long sleeves.

  “You look fabulous!” Cory said as she emerged from her small walk-in closet. “That wine color is really good on you. I could never wear it.”

  Kerrianne smiled at her red-haired sister-in-law, whose beautiful but unruly hair was one of her secret envies. “I hope I’m not overdressed for wherever we’re going. Maxine said this would be fine, but I wish she’d give me a little more detail. Apparently, we’re going out to eat and then to some gathering at a church, but that’s all I know.”

  “It’s perfect for anywhere these days.” Amanda held out high heels with thin straps. “When Mom told me about the outfit, I knew these would be just right.”

  “I have heels.”

  “Not like these. These’ll make your ankles look knock-out fabulous. Besides, by the time my feet are back to normal size so I can wear them, probably a year with all the weight I’ve gained, they’ll be out of style.” Amanda smoothed her bulging stomach, covered in an obnoxiously bright pink maternity blouse, which exactly matched her personality these days. “Someone might as well get some use from them.”

  “Thanks.” Kerrianne was touched. Having her younger sister look out for her in this way was a little unsettling, but then Amanda had been doing that a lot in the past few years.

  “Speaking of pregnancy . . .” Cory was seated next to Amanda on the queen-sized bed, but now she stood up awkwardly, uncharacteristically nervous. “I wanted you two to be the first to know that Mitch and I are beginning a round of fertilization attempts before we go on our next assignment. We’ve only been married fourteen months, so we’re not really worried or anything, but we don’t want to leave it too long. We’re hoping to have good news before we go to Japan in February.”

  Amanda jumped to her feet and squealed with excitement. “Oh, Cory, that’s wonderful! I’m so excited for you!”

  “Me, too.” Kerrianne hugged her.

  Cory’s freckled face was pale and her blue eyes washed with tears. “I’ve never wanted anything so much as I do this—except to marry Mitch and adopt EmJay. Well, and maybe to be baptized. When I think that I might have a daughter and that she and EmJay will be raised as sisters as AshDee and I were . . .” She sighed longingly. AshDee was Cory’s younger sister and also EmJay’s birth mother, but she and her husband had drowned in a boating accident several years earlier. “It’s all I could ever wish for, given the circumstances.”

  “AshDee’s probably up there with your daughter now,” Amanda said, “giving her pointers on how just how far a little sister can push an older sister.” She smirked pointedly at Kerrianne.

  Cory grinned. “I’m so glad to have you two. You’re my sisters now.” They laughed a little self-consciously, patting each other on the back and surreptitiously wiping their eyes with their fingertips.

  “Look at the time,” Amanda said. “We’ve got to get going. The movie starts at seven-thirty. I wish we could go out to dinner first instead of afterward.”

&n
bsp; “I’ve got some crackers in the car,” Cory said. She looked at Kerrianne. “What time is your friend picking you up?”

  “Any minute.” Again, Kerrianne felt butterflies in her stomach. “Oh,” she groaned, “I wish I were going with you guys instead.”

  “Well, you could, but the tickets are sold out,” Amanda said. “Besides, you need to get out with people who aren’t so boring.”

  “Hey, speak for yourself,” Cory protested. “I’m not boring. And Mitch is never boring. By the way, I wouldn’t get too close to him tonight. I’m not sure whether he has a gerbil in his pocket or that lizard he loves so much. Either way, it’s bound to end up in someone’s hair.”

  Amanda laughed. “Same old Mitch. But my point is, Why should Kerrianne hang out with married couples when there are more exciting people out there to meet?”

  As one they looked at Kerrianne, who sat on the bed and busied herself putting on Amanda’s heels. They were becoming less and less subtle about their hints. Kerrianne had tried to explain that she was never going to remarry, but they simply didn’t understand. Sometimes Kerrianne wondered if they didn’t love their husbands as much as she loved Adam, but that sounded too much like Bernice and the way she had judged Maxine.

  Maybe all her love for Adam was simply that old adage coming true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But did that mean the more time that passed, the more she would long for Adam? The more she would love him and yearn for his touch? Maybe by the time she finally went to meet him in heaven, she’d love him so much there would be no space for her at all. It would be Adam, Adam, and only Adam. That might bore him. After all, even in heaven they’d have separate callings and interests. She needed to remember not to lose sight of the part of her that made her unique. Loving Adam could not define all of who she was, even as much as she wanted it to.

  “You’re going to be late,” she said, standing and walking to the door. There was silence behind her, but Kerrianne swept through the hall and down the stairs without looking back.

  Her brother Mitch was seated on the floor with the children, allowing a gerbil to run around their knees, the smaller children squealing with joy when the animal crawled up into their laps. He looked up and whistled as he heard her come in. “You look fabulous!”

  “Thank you,” she replied breezily.

  He glanced anxiously at the doorway, pushing back the long front strands of his brown hair. “Are they coming? We’re going to be late if they don’t hurry.”

  “Yes, I’m sure they’ll be here shortly.” Kerrianne reached down and scooped up the gerbil from Benjamin’s lap. “They’re discussing how boring married couples are. If I were you and Blake, I’d make tonight unusual.” She plopped the gerbil into her brother’s outstretched hands, ignoring the sighs of disappointment from the children.

  “I see.” Mitch grinned as he put the animal away in a little plastic ball he’d had especially made to carry the animal in his pocket.

  Amanda and Cory entered the family room, and Mitch jumped to his feet to greet them, his thin frame taller than Kerrianne’s by more than a head. “Blake went out to warm up the car. We’d better go.”

  Cory rushed to give little EmJay a hug, and there were a flurry of other good-byes before Kerrianne walked them to the door. Sure enough, Blake was outside, but he wasn’t alone. Maxine had pulled up and the two of them were talking, Blake standing outside Maxine’s car window.

  Kerrianne’s nervousness must have shown in her face because Mitch squeezed her arm and whispered. “You can go with us the next time.”

  “We’ll see.” She’d go if they arranged it, but she wasn’t going to pester them. It was almost easier to stay home and wallow in self-pity than go with them and feel so strange without her other half. They missed Adam, too, she knew, but it wasn’t the same thing. Not the same thing at all.

  “Lock the door, Lexi,” Kerrianne said as the other adults hurried outside in the darkening night. “And you have my number, don’t you?”

  “This time I memorized it,” Lexi assured her.

  Kerrianne grinned. “Thanks.”

  She pulled on her full-length black sweater. Though it was more than four years old, it looked almost brand new. There hadn’t been many places to wear it. In the car Maxine’s eyes flicked over her approvingly. “That almost hides how skinny you are.”

  “Look who’s talking.”

  “Well, I’m short. And besides I wear at least two sizes larger than you do. Or three.” Maxine began backing out of the driveway. “Still, I think you’ve actually gained a bit of weight this week, haven’t you? Your face looks healthy.”

  Kerrianne decided to ignore the remark. With all the chocolate she’d inhaled this week, she’d gained a pound, and she was proud of it. But another ten and she’d start worrying in the other direction. She’d paid for her indulgence, though, by breaking out in a juvenile acne spree. Fortunately, all the worst blemishes were on her back or near her hairline. Not that it mattered—who was she trying to impress?

  Myself, she said. I’m going out with friends, and tonight I’m not going to think about Adam.

  Maxine herself looked dressed to kill in a form-fitting black outfit with elaborate gold embroidery. Tonight she wore dress boots instead of high heels.

  “Who else is coming?” Kerrianne asked.

  “Some of the girls.” Maxine turned a corner. “They’re meeting us at the restaurant. Except Bernice. She asked if she could get a ride.”

  “Probably to keep an eye on you. I bet she’s gathering facts for another discussion with the bishop on Sunday.”

  Maxine gave a snort of disgust as Kerrianne dissolved into laughter. “Honestly,” Kerrianne said, “you should have told her to get her own ride.” Truthfully, she was glad Bernice was coming, not because she particularly enjoyed the woman’s company, but that must mean there would be only women wherever they were going. Surely Bernice wouldn’t stand for anything else.

  “Her car is apparently in the shop,” Maxine said with the air of a martyr. “But we all make our sacrifices. Besides, I’m interested to see how everyone reacts to her new look. If only I could get her to dye her hair a bit. That gray makes her too old.” She had pulled up in front of Bernice’s house. “Oh, look, there she is.”

  “I’ll get in the back.” Kerrianne reached for the door.

  “Don’t you dare!” Maxine gripped her arm. “I don’t want to get stuck—”

  “It’s only polite.” Kerrianne shook off Maxine’s hand and pushed open the door. “She’s older than me so she deserves the front.” She lowered her voice. “Besides, it serves you right for all this secrecy about this so-called gathering and for inviting her in the first place. Ah, Bernice,” she said to the woman who had reached the car, “please take the front.”

  Maxine threw an I’ll-get-you-later look at Kerrianne, but she didn’t make further protest, which worried Kerrianne. What did Maxine have in store for her?

  Kerrianne slipped into the back and fastened her safety belt. “You look great, Bernice.”

  She did. Her makeup was the same muted style she’d been wearing at Maxine’s after the makeover, which took years off her face. She wore a black skirt that was surprisingly in style and a pink zip-up sweater that made her look bright and cheerful—at least until she opened her mouth.

  “Thank you, dear. I do try. Even though he’s not here, I think my husband might be able to catch a glimpse of me and feel happy we’ll be together again soon.”

  “Soon?” asked Maxine a little too hopefully. Kerrianne clamped her lips shut over a giggle.

  “Relatively speaking,” Bernice went on. “You know what they say—earth life is just a blink of an eye compared to eternity.”

  “Sure seems like an eternity sometimes,” Maxine mumbled.

  “What?” Bernice asked.

  “I think we’ll enjoy eternity when it’s our time.” Maxine flashed her a sweet grin that made Kerrianne rock with laughter, glad that she was in the ba
ck and could pretend to pick something off the floor to hide her giggles.

  “Oh, yes, we most certainly will.” Bernice smiled beatifically at the roof of the car.

  Bernice kept up a steady conversation as Maxine drove to the American Fork border with Lehi where they were meeting the others at IHOP. She talked mostly about temple sealings and how important it was to her to remain faithful to her dead husband so that he would know how much she loved him.

  “What if he was an abuser?” Maxine asked, never one to take a lecture without objecting to something.

  Bernice gave a slight gasp. “Are you saying . . . Did your husband actually . . .”

  “No,” Maxine growled. “Not my husband, just any husband. And what if his dying was the best thing that ever happened to the woman?”

  Bernice blinked several times. “You’re talking about Tina, aren’t you? I heard about that. Is it really true?”

  Kerrianne’s stomach clenched. Were they talking about the annoyingly positive Tina? Had her husband been that kind of monster?

  “It’s true,” Maxine’s voice was grim. An approaching car lit up her solemn face, turning her expression eerie. “He was awful to her, but she put on a good face. No one knew for a long time.”

  “Maybe he’s changed now that he’s dead,” Bernice said.

  “Maybe he hasn’t.” Maxine pulled into a parking lot and shut off the light. “The same spirit that possess our body now will possess it after death, right?” Without waiting for a reply, she opened her door and slid out of the car.

  Bernice looked in the backseat at Kerrianne. “Well,” she said. “Well.”

  Kerrianne shrugged, also at a loss. How horribly ironic that Tina’s husband’s death had freed her, while Adam’s death had imprisoned Kerrianne. At least it felt that way. Imprisoned her in a life of longing and regret and loneliness.

  As they entered the restaurant, Kerrianne could see two other women waiting for them. One was Tina and the other Evie, the large woman who complained about the rain. They were wearing jeans, but their blouses were dressy, and they both wore heels. Kerrianne didn’t feel overdressed, though she did experience a twinge of nervousness when several approving male glances came her way.