“It’s been four years,” Jessica said, misreading her silence.
Kerrianne nodded. “I know.”
“So when do I get to meet him?” Jessica grinned.
“Mom, you never change. Not ever.” Her mother had pushed for each child in turn to get married to someone suitable since the day they reached adulthood. She’d been gently pushing Kerrianne to start getting out again for more than a year.
Jessica shrugged delicately. “I only want the best for you.”
“I know. And you can meet him tonight if you want. Someone he knows is getting rid of a greenhouse, and I can have it if we move it this week.”
“It’s supposed to snow for Thanksgiving.”
“Exactly. That’s why we’re going to start moving it tonight and hopefully get it up by tomorrow. We’ll need help, though.”
“Well, Mitch and Cory are nearly finished editing their documentary, so I bet they’d come. Your father can come after work. We’ll have to ask about Tyler. I haven’t seen him since he got back from his honeymoon.”
Kerrianne had forgotten Tyler had returned at all. She’d been that preoccupied.
“I don’t know about Blake and Amanda,” her mother went on. “Oh, wait, I think I remember something about a gathering on Blake’s side of the family. But maybe they can help tomorrow.”
“If worse comes to worst, we can leave it unbuilt here at the house,” Kerrianne said, hoping that wouldn’t happen. Now that she almost had the greenhouse, she couldn’t wait to get it put together and filled with plants. “Would you mind calling them? I’m going over there today after the children get home. I’ll give you the address.”
“Do you need a truck? I wish Tyler still had his.”
Kerrianne shook her head. “Ryan’s got one. I hope everything will fit.” She avoided her mother’s gaze and looked out at the children. “Hey, guys!” she called, standing and waving her arms. “Recess is over. We’ve got some fun things to do before snack time.”
The children came running. They loved making the crafts she prepared for them, and while the weather was warmer today, it was still cold enough to get into the bones after a while. Caleb and Tiger, ever together, ran up to her and gave her big hugs. Some of the other children followed suit. Kerrianne laughed. “I missed you guys.”
“Did you see my sister?” Tiger asked.
“I did. And your dad.”
Tiger’s jaw dropped. “Was he wearing a dress?”
Kerrianne laughed. “No. Just his uniform. Come on inside now.”
“And his father is?” Jessica asked as they headed for the basement preschool via the garage.
“Ryan, the guy I was talking about.”
Jessica looked thoughtful but didn’t comment. “Well, I’ll take off,” she said. “I’ll make a few calls for you and let you know. I’ll call you later for the address.”
“Thanks, Mom. For everything.” Kerrianne went inside with Caleb and Tiger holding her hands.
Chapter Nineteen
Darkness had set in by the time Kerrianne’s family arrived to help take down the greenhouse. She and Ryan had managed to remove the roof and were breaking it down, carefully labeling each piece so it would be easier to reassemble. Her mother had returned earlier to the house to watch the children—except for Ria, who had wanted to help, and Misty, who had apparently decided to keep an eye on them. The girls didn’t speak to each other, though there seemed to be an uneasy truce for the moment.
Ryan worked steadily and thoroughly, taking no shortcuts that might mess things up later in the rebuilding. Kerrianne was glad for that. She herself was an advocate of doing things the right way the first time instead of wasting even more time fixing mistakes.
Her dad, Mitch, and Cory came into the yard shortly after five. Kerrianne thanked them for coming and made the introductions. “Everyone, this is Ryan Oakman,” she said, not explaining further. “Ryan, this is my dad, Cameron Huntington, and my brother Mitch, and my sister-in-law Cory.”
“Nice to meet you.” Ryan shook everyone’s hand.
“Well, where do we start?” Mitch scratched at his neck, eyeing the greenhouse.
“Honey, you should put on the ski mask.” Cory’s own thick red hair was mostly hidden under a hat. Mitch did as she suggested. Then he picked up a screwdriver and began working.
“Looks like you have it bright enough out here,” Cameron said.
“Yes, thanks to Ryan. He brought the flood lights.”
With her family working hard, they soon had two walls down and loaded into the truck. But Kerrianne was worried about Mitch. Despite his sweatshirt, coat, and ski mask, her brother’s breathing was raspy.
“Are you all right?” she asked him. “Maybe you should wait in the truck. You could turn on the heat.”
“I’m fine,” he said shortly, squeezing her arm to lessen the sting of the words. He went to help Cameron with a panel.
“He’ll be okay,” Cory told her. “I’ll watch him.” In a moment, she was at her husband’s side, leaving Ryan and Kerrianne alone.
Ryan wrinkled his brow. “Is something wrong with your brother? I’ve noticed everyone keeps checking up on him.”
Kerrianne had forgotten that he didn’t know. Ryan fit in so well with the group, it seemed he’d always belonged. “He has something called cold urticaria,” she said, “which is basically an allergy to cold. Or rather, changes to colder temperatures. When he gets out in the cold he starts itching and then gets hives pretty badly. If it’s bad enough, he’ll have trouble breathing. But it usually doesn’t get life-threatening unless he ends up in water or something.”
“I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”
“It’s really rare. He can’t even play basketball without discomfort because the sweat cools him enough to bring hives. It’s limiting, but he gets kind of irritated when we baby him. He still hopes he’ll get over it if he keeps exposing himself to cold.” She didn’t add that they’d come close to losing Mitch a few times over the years when he hadn’t been as careful as he should have been.
When another wall was dismantled, Mitch tossed his screwdriver into the toolbox. “I’m going to sit in my car for a while,” he said. Kerrianne wondered why he had to announce it, to make sure everyone knew that he wasn’t pulling the same weight as the rest of the group. Besides, he was wrong. They all knew he was a hard worker and that being out there in the cold, struggling to breathe while he worked, exhausted him several times faster than someone without his disease. They admired his ability to endure as long as he did. She wished he could just slip away quietly, but something inside him wouldn’t allow that. He had to make sure everyone knew he was “wimping out,” as he called it.
“You know what?” Ryan said. “I could use a break, too. I don’t think we’re going to get this all over in one trip. Why don’t you and I drive to Kerrianne’s and unload the first half in her driveway? Meanwhile the rest of you can finish taking apart this last wall.”
Kerrianne could have hugged him. The journey to her house would give Mitch time to warm up in the truck and still save face. “Drive slowly,” she whispered to Ryan.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take the long way.”
“I’ll call my mom and make sure she calls you both in for hot chocolate.”
He grinned. “Is it as good as yours?”
She welcomed the heat his grin brought to her heart. She grinned back. “She taught me everything I know about cooking. Well, almost.”
Less than two hours later, they were all nursing steaming mugs of hot chocolate in Kerrianne’s family room. Ria and Misty were still not talking, but everyone else was having a great time. The boys, thrilled with the prospect of no school in the morning, had built an expansive tent in the family room with stools and blankets and books, one Kerrianne had to partly dismantle so her family could sit down.
Mitch and Ryan were exchanging mission stories—Ryan having gone to England and Mitch to Brazil. Cory had also lived in
the Amazon for more than a year and had interesting stories that often made Kerrianne shake her head at her sister-in-law’s bravery.
As Cory began telling Ryan a story that involved a black jaguar and her two cubs, Kerrianne went into the kitchen to make more hot chocolate and check on the cookies her mother had made. She felt light, as though her feet weren’t touching the ground. It had been a long time since she’d felt a part of a gathering this way, even one with her family. Since Adam’s death, she had been half of a pair, a broken half of something that had once been whole and right. But with Ryan around, things were different, as though their two broken halves almost—almost—made a whole. He was fabulous with her family, and she was sure they were all won over.
Jessica came into the kitchen to help her with the drinks. “Well?” Kerrianne asked her mother, shaking in cinnamon, the secret ingredient. “What do you think of Ryan?” She half expected her mother to start hinting at possible wedding dates.
Jessica was quiet for a moment—too quiet. “I don’t know,” she said at last. “I mean, I like him. It’s just . . . well, he’s so different from Adam.”
That was it, the nugget of truth Kerrianne herself had been searching for. Ryan was different from Adam—very different. Adam had been a refined, thoughtful, educated man who enjoyed wearing a suit to work. He hadn’t liked yard work and wasn’t handy around the house. He was a considerate husband and good father who was stern with discipline but also generous with love and praise. In contrast, Ryan was a rugged, hands-on, outdoors type, similar to Kerrianne herself. His life revolved around his children, though he seemed to have no clue how to discipline them. He didn’t see work as a means to personal fulfillment but as a necessity to support a family. If she fell in love with Ryan, or someone equally different, of course it wouldn’t be the same as it had been with Adam. Some things would be harder and some things would be easier. Different.
“I know,” she said to her mother. “But maybe that’s okay.”
“Sure—it was unexpected, that’s all. I guess I thought when you found someone else, he’d be more like Adam.”
Kerrianne gave a short laugh that held no mirth. “Ryan may not go to an office each day, but I bet his wife never had to beg him to mow the lawn.” Tears stung her eyes. What did she mean by that?
I’m sorry, Adam. She felt her words betrayed him. How could she be angry with Adam for his little faults when at the end of the day, she would give anything to have him here?
Tears shimmered in Jessica’s eyes. “You spend years seeing your daughter with a man she loves and adjusting to that relationship, and then . . . well, it’s going to take some getting used to, no matter what you choose, but I’ll support you all the way. I think Ryan is a great father and would be a kind husband.” Jessica gathered her in a hug.
Kerrianne returned her mother’s embrace, but her mind raced ahead. If she let herself become involved with Ryan, would there still be room for Adam?
“You could invite him for Thanksgiving, if you want,” Jessica said. “We’ve plenty of room.”
“I think he has plans with his family.” Kerrianne wondered if his mother had invited the suitable MaryAnn and if Ryan were looking forward to seeing her.
The women separated as Ryan sauntered into the kitchen. “Need any help?”
“I got the chocolate.” Picking up the tray with a smile, Jessica left them alone.
“The cookies are about done.” Kerrianne was feeling suddenly warm. Was it because of Ryan’s proximity? What would she do if he tried to kiss her with her family here? Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, she turned and started rinsing the dishes in the sink before placing them in the dishwasher.
Ryan began helping her.
Kerrianne felt her heart shift. Some things would be different, and some things, like washing the dishes and talking about their children, would remain the same. She swallowed hard.
“You know,” Ryan said, “I was thinking that your yard would look really great if you planted a row of lilac bushes along the right side. When they grew big, they’d shade the playhouse and sand box, plus you’d get to cut the blooms to bring in the house.”
“That’s a great idea.” Kerrianne had been thinking along those same lines, but she hadn’t considered lilacs. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.
Then a realization hit her—hard. During the past few days she had begun to believe in her heart that it might be possible to love again, that maybe a relationship could even be as good as it had been with Adam. But after tonight, working side by side with Ryan doing something she loved, and after hearing his suggestion about the lilacs, she realized that it was entirely possible that another relationship might actually be better—at least in certain respects. Before now that thought had never crossed her mind. She supposed everyone would always be second-best to Adam.
“Your family is wonderful. Far cry from mine.” Ryan frowned, but almost immediately replaced the expression with a more pleasant one. “I can’t wait to see how the greenhouse looks here, all built.”
She knew what he meant. They’d seen it together in the other yard, but this time it would belong to her. “Neither can I.”
Their hands stopped moving, and for a moment they stared silently at each other. Kerrianne was acutely aware of him—the angular shape of his face, the intensity of his eyes, the strength of his body. She was also aware of her family in the other room, of her own children awaiting her return.
She moved back to the stove. “The cookies are ready,” she said. “Could you get the spatula from that drawer?”
* * *
Ryan passed the rest of Tuesday night and most of Wednesday in a happy blur. He enjoyed working with Kerrianne’s family and having the satisfaction of watching the greenhouse spring up before their eyes, but most of all he enjoyed being with Kerrianne. He loved seeing up close her ability with tools and her excitement over the greenhouse. She outworked everyone, all the while keeping a discerning eye on the children—hers and his—as they played in the yard.
Mitch and Cory came to help during the day Wednesday, as did Kerrianne’s sister Amanda and her husband, Blake, who’d taken the day off to spend with his family. Like the others, Blake didn’t seem to mind using his vacation day to help his sister-in-law, and Ryan marveled at how different her family was from his. His brother would have asked him how much he’d be paid and then would have refused anyway because that kind of work was beneath him. His father would have rolled his eyes and said that if Ryan would get a decent job, he could hire someone to do his menial labor. Thinking of the ambiance and the closeness he’d felt with Kerrianne’s family, he wondered if that attitude wasn’t a big part of what was wrong with his family. He knew enough about Kerrianne’s family to know they were every bit as successful as his. So what made his family so arrogant?
Early that morning, his mother had called to make sure he was coming to Thanksgiving dinner. “MaryAnn couldn’t come, but we’ve invited the Nelsons and Roberts,” she’d said by way of enticement. Knowing each family had at least one “suitable” daughter of marrying age, Ryan hadn’t given her an answer yet. He was hoping Kerrianne’s family would invite him and the kids so he’d have an excuse not to go to Ogden. He’d much rather spend his time with the Huntingtons instead of making small talk with his family and people he didn’t know. Why couldn’t his family be more like the Huntingtons?
They had all but the roof on when Tyler, Kerrianne’s youngest brother, appeared at five o’clock with his new bride, Savvy. Tyler looked a great deal like Mitch, though not quite as tall or lean and his eyes were green like Amanda’s and their father’s instead of blue. His bride was a curvaceous beauty with long white-blonde hair and smooth skin that reminded Ryan of Misty. The couple greeted him cordially but were so wrapped up in each other that he learned little more about them except that Tyler was a journalist and Savvy had only two more classes to finish before obtaining a degree in astronomy. They were utterly useless in he
lping with the greenhouse, though some of the younger children found them useful to run behind during a game of tag. They also provided comic relief as Mitch teased them mercilessly until Amanda countered with stories about when he and Cory had been newly married.
The day had been uncommonly warm, but now as darkness fell, the cold set in. They worked fervently to fix the roof in place. At one point Kerrianne asked her brother Mitch to test out the heating unit, and Ryan understood the request was to get him out of the cold. She sneezed twice as she put in the last screws. He hoped she wasn’t getting sick.
“Mom!” Misty called from the house. “Grandma’s on the phone. She says Grandpa just got home and wants to know if he should come over.”
“No. We’ve got it done,” Kerrianne called back. “Tell them we’ll see them tomorrow.”
Tyler and Savvy left, still with eyes only for each other, and the other couples began rounding up their children, all of whom were playing in the yard, after having warmed up inside the house. All but Misty, who’d never set foot outside, though Ryan was sure he’d seen her peering out an upstairs window.
He wished he knew how to encourage Misty to like him, to give him a chance. The child seemed intent on hating him—more so now since Ria’s announcement at school.
When her siblings had gone, Kerrianne went inside the greenhouse, lit now by a single bulb. “Do you know about electricity?” she asked. “I’m not sure how much my brother knows, and I want to make sure—”
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