Running Away (Finding Your Place Book 2)

by Rebecca Barber

  After checking and double checking, I merged into traffic. It was an awesome beast to drive with enough power to make you feel on top of the world, but not too much that it made you nervous you were going to do something dumb. It took me a couple of minutes before I felt comfortable, but when I glanced over at Derek, I noticed he had his huge hands folded in his lap, and his eyes had fallen shut I knew he must have trusted me with his baby. It was a weird feeling. I had to keep reminding myself that I’d only just met this guy. Wriggling down in the seat, I settled in and just went with it.

  Chapter 11

  Derek

  I could feel Mia looking at me. She kept doing it. I kept my eyes closed the best I could, trying to make her feel as relaxed as possible. That girl had secrets. Secrets I wanted to know, but I wasn’t going to ask, at least not today. So instead, I settled back in my seat and let her drive my truck. No one drove my truck. Ever. Zoe had never even backed it out of the driveway. It was mine. No one touched it. Yet I’d handed the keys over without a second thought to Mia. I didn’t even know if she had a license. What the hell had I been thinking?

  The radio was on quietly in the background, regurgitating football dribble, but I couldn’t concentrate on a word they were saying. Thank fuck it wasn’t my team playing tonight. The scent of cinnamon and something else sweet filled the cab and my mouth watered. I knew where it was coming from, and it took everything I had to refrain from leaning over and breathing Mia in. Instead, I shifted in my seat, attempting to force my thoughts on something else. Anything else. The last thing I needed right now was to make my attraction obvious. It would scare her off quicker than tossing her in an ice bath. And that was definitely the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

  Half an hour passed and a word hadn’t been spoken. The houses that had filled the street had dwindled and been replaced by vastness. On one side, the ocean stretched as far as I could see, while on the opposite, empty fields with yellowing grass and fallen trees dotted the horizon.

  “Don’t they have any good beer in town?”

  At my words, panic settled over Mia’s perfect features and regret gathered in my belly. I wasn’t trying to be an ass, that just came naturally, apparently. “Oh my God, Derek! I’m so sorry, I…I just started driving and I…I completely forgot…”

  Since I was the douche that had put that worry on her face, I was determined to remove it as quickly as it had appeared. Reaching over, I rested my hand on hers where she clasped the gear stick. “Mia, it’s fine. I really don’t mind. It’s a beautiful night for a drive.”

  Her wide, scared eyes met mine, and I knew she was searching for a trace of deceit, but she wouldn’t find any. There was none there. I meant it. Mia was stunning. Hell, we could have driven to Adelaide and I wouldn’t have cared. Even in the silence it was fine.

  “Derek…”

  The way my name fell from her lips made me groan. It was breathy and full of emotion. Wriggling her fingers under mine, I took the hint and pulled back, instantly feeling the emptiness. I wanted to say something reassuring, yet I was tongue-tied. Mia’s face scrunched and she had the cutest little wrinkles between her brows as she slowed the truck and pulled into a gravel parking lot.

  “We’re stopping?” I asked dumbly. I mean, obviously we were stopping. The truck was in park.

  “Yep.” Mia smiled and the wrinkles and worries vanished as her eyes lit up. I no longer had questions. Instead I slid out of the truck and met her in the front.

  Without a word, she took my hand and led me down a narrow path, which in all honesty could use some serious maintenance. It was rocky and uneven, but the bushes that grew along the edges had started to get adventurous and decided to spread across, blocking sections. I stumbled twice, causing Mia to giggle and tug on my hand a little tighter, but not once did she let go. She never even tried to pull away.

  Above our heads, the moon illuminated the sky and reflected off the water in a way that was almost magical, if you believed in that sort of thing. There was a slight breeze ruffling Mia’s hair, but she didn’t seem to notice. The scent of salt hung in the air. There was something uniquely calming about being by the sea. It was a beautiful night. A perfect night. Even though I hadn’t known it, and I definitely hadn’t expected it when I’d left to drive her home and head to work, it was the night I needed. A night where I didn’t have to be the responsible one. A night where I could just be. Be me. Be free. Be free of the weight. Not have to worry about everyone and everything else around me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Zoe and there was nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for that girl, but occasionally when I was being an asshole, I just wished I didn’t have to. I wished Spencer was still here to take care of her. I wished Zoe hadn’t been through the shit she had been, so no one had to take care of her. I wish Kane hadn’t gotten so caught up in the mess. I wish I’d stopped it. I wished I hadn’t failed him. Failed everyone. But wishing didn’t get me anywhere.

  “What’s with the frown?” Mia asked, shaking me from my heavy thoughts.

  “Sorry?”

  I’d been so caught up playing the ‘what if’ game in my head I hadn’t even noticed we’d stopped walking and Mia was looking up at me with wide, worried eyes.

  “The frown? Do you not want to be here?”

  She ran her tiny hand through her hair nervously and I swallowed deeply. Who the hell in his right mind wouldn’t want to be there with her right now? She was every guy’s wet dream. All lithe curves , but it was her lips that had me mesmerized. I wanted a taste. I don’t know if it was the moonlight, Mia, or the combination. Whatever it was, it was testing my restraint to not bend down and taste her.

  Crouching down so I was at her eye level, I assured her, “Mia, I swear to you there is nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  Even though I knew I meant it, I hadn’t realized how much until the words came out of my mouth.

  “Good! Come! I want to show you something.” Mia practically bounced where she stood as she reached out again for my hand. Without hesitation, I slipped my hand in hers. I’d go anywhere with her…a realization that both elated me and scared the shit out of me. I mean, I’d just met her. Why the hell was I thinking about turning my world on its head for her? And what’s worse, wanting to.

  But I didn’t ask. I didn’t say a word. Instead I just fell in step and followed down the dark path. For all I know she could be leading me toward a cliff to push me off. If I was smart I’d have asked questions, at least a question, yet I remained silent and just kept walking. A moment later the path opened up and we were at the edge of the cliff.

  Mia dropped my hand and bounced up the few steps onto the wooden viewing platform. I may have watched the way her ass looked as she took the steps, but there was no proof of that. Not unless you counted the stirring of my blood and the uncomfortable tightening of my pants. Following her lead, I stepped up and looked out. The wind was stronger up here, we were unprotected from the trees and other cliffs, but the view was worth it. For as far as you could see it was just a wide, dark blue expanse. Beneath me I could hear the waves crashing violently into the rocks and knew that one wrong move and you wouldn’t survive. Sucking in a deep breath, I could taste the salt in the air, and as I let it go, I attempted to release the heaviness I felt.

  “It’s really something up here…” I commented pathetically, inwardly cursing myself as soon as the words were out. ‘Really something?’ Surely I could have thought of something better than that. Anything would be more fitting than those dumb words. The problem was Mia had my mind scrambled.

  She was standing on the bench, her arms outstretched, her head tilted backwards towards the moonlight, exposing every inch of her neck. A small moan escaped her lips and my feet seemed to move towards her of their own accord.

  It took her a moment, but when her arms dropped and she seemed to come back to earth, she tilted her head and looked right through me. I would have given everything I had to know what was barrelling through her mind in tha
t moment, but I wasn’t going to ask. Part of me was too chicken shit scared to know.

  “We used to come here when we were kids.”

  “That explains it then.”

  “Explains what?”

  “How you knew that all of this…” I waving my arms about like a fool, “was here.”

  “Oh.”

  Mia dropped from her perch, sat on the edge of the bench, and looked up at me from beneath her long lashes. “What happened to Zoe?”

  I stumbled.

  Literally.

  A full three steps, I fell backwards.

  I’d never been so thankful for the wire mesh protective fence before in my life. Out of all the things that could have come out of Mia’s pretty little mouth in that moment, it was probably the one question I’d hadn’t been ready for.

  My stomach turned over and I regretted my second helping of pasta.

  Was it my story to tell?

  Fuck!

  Chapter 12

  Mia

  Indecision flickered over Derek’s face as soon as I asked. I knew it was none of my business, but curiosity got the better of me. Everything about their relationship intrigued me. Fuck, everything about Derek intrigued me. I hadn’t spent any time alone with a guy in almost four years with the exception of my father, yet tonight after knowing Derek for maybe a couple of hours, I’d willingly driven us out into the middle of nowhere, offered him my hand, and led him into the wilderness. No one knew where I was. Who I was with. When I’d be back. I was entirely too stupid for my own good. But for some reason that was completely foreign to me, I felt safe. I was okay. I trusted him. For me, that was huge. I trusted no one.

  “I don’t…I mean…if you don’t want to…”

  I felt bad. I had never intended to put him in an awkward position. I wanted to know. I wanted to know if she was okay. If he was okay. If there was anything more to their relationship than protector/protectee. Even though I hadn’t called him out on it, and I never would, I’d seen him stumble at my question.

  “It’s not that,” he grimaced, shaking his head and stepping back towards me. “I just…I don’t know if it’s my story to tell. Zoe…she hasn’t had the easiest time.”

  “I figured as much.”

  As soon as I said it I regretted it. It sounded sarcastic and bitchy. It wasn’t at all what I’d intended, but that’s the way it’d come out. Guilt coiled heavily in my stomach.

  Without looking at me, Derek sunk onto the bench beside me and rested his strong forearms on his knees, leaning forward. My fingers itched to touch him, but he looked as though he needed space. And for now…for now, I’d respect that. I just didn’t know how long I’d be able to.

  His eyes fixed on a spot on the horizon and his low, deep voice began. “We all grew up together…Zoe, Spencer, Kane, and I. We were as thick as thieves. Zoe might have been the only girl, but that didn’t stop her. Anything we did, she was always right there with us, determined to prove she could do it just as well, if not better. The older we got, the closer we got. I loved Zoe, and no one was ever going to hurt her. Hell, we all did. But no one loved her like Spencer. Zoe and Spencer were something else. I guess they’d always been, but it wasn’t until they were teenagers that even they realized it. And it wasn’t until recently that I saw it had always been them. The moment we graduated though, Zoe left. Something happened, but she left town and didn’t come back for years. No matter who begged or how much. And life went on.”

  “You really didn’t know why she left?”

  “Not until recently anyway.”

  “Weren’t you curious?”

  “Sure, I guess. But one thing you learn about Zoe very quickly is she’s a contradiction. In her head her reason for leaving is a great one. I mean, it had to be. It kept her away for years. But in reality, it’s bullshit.”

  “To you maybe. But to Zoe, like you said, to Zoe it all makes sense.”

  “You’re too wise for your years, Mia.”

  “Nah. I’m just female. We see things a little differently.”

  “Maybe that’s what it is then.”

  “What is?”

  “She was a girl. She’d spent her whole life with us three boneheads and needed a break.”

  “Turns out, you’re pretty close. Spencer, he loved her and couldn’t see anything else. I don’t think he even wanted to. So much so, he bought a diamond to prove it.”

  “He proposed?”

  “Yep. She wasn’t yet eighteen.”

  “Let me guess. She wasn’t ready, freaked out, and took off.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Can you blame her?”

  Boom! There was the million-dollar question right there. Could I? I mean, I understood it. I didn’t hold it against her.”

  “Anyway, she came back. I don’t know why this birthday party was important or what had changed, but Zoe finally came home.”

  I saw Derek’s whole body stiffen. This was the part of the story that was hurting him. The part he didn’t want to deal with. Without a word, I closed the distance between us and threaded my arm through his. I needed the closeness and the contact, even if he didn’t.

  “Spencer was the one who found her and brought her to the hospital. When he called me, I’d never heard him like that. I’d never been afraid of him before. But I knew. He was angry and scared in the same moment and as soon as I got to the hospital, I knew why. Zoe was lying in the hospital bed and she was a mess.”

  I heard myself gasp and I guess Derek heard it too, because when he looked down at me our eyes met and he tugged me closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulder holding me against his body.

  “It almost destroyed them both. But in a way, it fixed everything for them both too. I’d never seen Spencer stronger or happier. The day he showed me the engagement ring he’d planned to give to Zoe I knew everything was as it should be.”

  I gulped.

  I didn’t want to ask the question sitting on the tip of my tongue.

  But I had to.

  I wouldn’t understand unless I did.

  “Where’s Spencer now?”

  “He died.”

  “Oh.”

  I had no idea what to say after that. I crawled onto Derek’s lap and held him. I could feel him trembling beneath me as he fought to hold back the tears as he relived the past. A past I’d brought up. A past I’d forced him to explain. Fuck, I was a bitch sometimes.

  Shifting me on his lap, Derek took a deep breath in, then pushed me away slightly so he could look at me. Not enough to let go, hell, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. The moment his sad, hazel eyes met mine, I knew I was done. Completely and utterly fucked.

  “It was Kane.”

  “Kane?”

  “Kane was the one who…who hurt Zoe.”

  “Oh.”

  “He killed Spencer.”

  “Oh.”

  “I arrested him.”

  “Oh.”

  “It was my fault.”

  “Oh.”

  “I should have stopped it.”

  “Oh.”

  I sounded like an idiot. I couldn’t find words to accurately convey anything. How could I react to that? How could I make it better? When I’d asked, it wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. Pulling Derek back against me, I squished him as much as I could. I felt him chuckle against my neck but not pull away.

  “I should have kept Zoe safe. We’d made a pact. Even as idiot kids, we promised to keep Zoe safe. Always. I didn’t.”

  Anger bubbled inside me. I wanted to slap Derek up the side of the head. He couldn’t honestly believe that, could he? I wanted to believe he wasn’t that dense, but I knew he was. I’d seen how he was with her. I knew he was telling the truth. In his heart, he blamed himself for everything. I might not know him that well yet, but I knew him well enough to know that he took that promise seriously. It explained a lot, really. Spencer was gone. He was all Zoe had left. Zoe was broken. Derek would never walk away from her. He
’d never again leave her in a position where she could be hurt. For as long as she lived, Zoe would have a guardian, whether she wanted one or not. I didn’t know whether to be jealous or impressed. Maybe a little of both.

  I don’t know how long we sat like that. Alone in the darkness, wrapped in each other, just holding on.

  “Mia?”

  “Yeah?” I answered sleepily, but didn’t make an effort to move.

  “We need to get up now. My legs are going to sleep.”

  “Shit!” I bounced up, almost falling flat on my butt as I lost balance, but Derek hadn’t let go of my hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I’m so heavy.”

  He laughed a deep, belly laugh and it echoed across the empty night.

  Overhead the thick clouds were rolling in and a storm was brewing. It was time to get out of here anyway. As much as I didn’t want the night or the moment to end, being caught in the rain wasn’t my idea of a good time.

  “Please! You weigh nothing,” Derek admonished, stepping towards me. A predatory smirk was on his lips, which sent my heartbeat scattering.

  He scooped me up in his arms and I squealed like a five-year-old. Before I had a chance to object he spun me around. I know I should have acted my age, but I threw my head back, stretched my arms out, and giggled. Derek continued to spin me and laugh. With each rotation, the heaviness of our conversation seemed to evaporate and it was just us having fun.

  When a fat raindrop collided with my cheek, I sat up and grabbed hold of Derek’s shoulders, steadying myself. “I think that’s our cue,” I said breathlessly.

  Nodding, he eased me back to my feet, holding onto my elbow until I was steady. He wrapped his hand around mine and led me back towards the truck at a brisk pace.

  We made it. Just.

  Derek slammed my door shut and darted around the other side before slipping behind the wheel just as the heavens opened and the onslaught began. Wiping the water from my face, for the first time I was conscious what I must look like. Shit. Worse than shit, if that was possible.