“They were. So anyway, I went straight home. I heard noise on the other side and didn’t think much of it, but when I pushed open the door I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”
“That bastard better not have had a woman in your place.”
I laughed. I actually laughed. I guess it was a natural reaction to the whole thing. That’s what you’d expect, isn’t it? Go home unexpectedly and your boyfriend of three years have some bimbo pinned underneath him in your bed screaming his name. “Not quite.”
“Well?”
“Phillip was on his knees.”
“And?”
“Bryan’s dirty fat cock was pumping in and out of his mouth.” I risked a glance at Derek. His eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open. I don’t think he’d been expecting that. But truthfully, I’d never seen it coming either.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Fuck me!” For a moment, Derek just held me a little tighter. “You had no idea?”
I forced a smile. “None at all.”
“Okay, so Phillip was a douche. But how does that…”
“I’m getting there. So, I don’t know how long I stood there with my mouth hanging open. It wasn’t like I wanted to watch, it was more my feet wouldn’t carry me away. I mean, this was my place. I don’t know what they did at theirs or how long it had been going on, but I couldn’t believe it. They didn’t notice me at first. Not until the shriek came out of my mouth. Phillip let go of Bryan and looked over at me. As guilt flushed over his face, Bryan tucked himself away with a sleazy, satisfied smirk on his face. Looking back, part of me thinks he planned the whole thing. I don’t know. The moment my feet decided they could move though, I was barrelling down the hallway and back onto the street. Phillip followed me out, calling my name, but I couldn’t talk to him. I just had to get away. So, I took off as fast as I could.”
“What happened, Mia?”
Unashamedly tears streaked down my face and over my cheeks. As embarrassing as it had been to tell Derek that my boyfriend of three years who supposedly loved me got caught sucking his roommate’s cock in my lounge room, the next bit would hurt even more.
“I didn’t know where to go next. I mean, they were at my place, so obviously I couldn’t go back there. I didn’t want to go to my parents, ’cause they’d ask too many questions. Questions I wasn’t ready to answer. And Josie was still overseas. Honestly, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what happened. It was like it was my fault.”
“Nothing about what happened was your fault, Mia. I hope you know that.” His voice was firm and commanding and left no room for argument.
I sighed heavily, “I do now. At the time though, I was nineteen. Everything about it was my fault.”
“Keep going…tell me the rest, Mia. I’m here. I’m not letting go.”
“Promise?” In that moment I was a needy girl. I needed Derek to hold me and not let go no matter what came next. I didn’t even care how pathetic that made me look.
“Promise!”
“I walked. Night fell and I just kept walking. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. For a while I just walked around the shops, feeling completely alone while surrounded by strangers. It was what I needed. It was late and I knew I had to go back. I’d turned my phone off as soon as I’d fled, but I needed to know he was gone. The last thing I thought I could handle was walking in there and seeing Phillip waiting to talk. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want to see him. Fuck, I didn’t even want to think about him. Every time I did, that image was burned in my brain. Even now, telling you, I can see it. It’s like something I can never unsee.”
“What happened?”
“I walked home. Everything they tell you is true, you know. Don’t be alone at night. Don’t put yourself in those situations. But when you’re in them, you don’t remember any of it. I was maybe a hundred metres from my building when it happened. I never saw their faces and I’m thankful for that. I know there were two of them. They were so much bigger than me. Stronger. And they stunk. Like dirt and sweat and beer. It was disgusting.” Even now my stomach was rolling at the memory. “I had one of those shoulder bags, you know the ones that you drape across you to keep your hands free?”
“I know the ones,” Derek confirmed, his jaw tight with tension.
My confession was taking a toll on him. Everything about him showed me that. I could hear his teeth grinding. I could feel his muscles bunched up beneath me. Everything about him was taut…except his grip on me. That hadn’t changed. He still held me in his lap like I was the most precious thing in his world.
“One of them grabbed me from behind and put his hand over my mouth before he lifted me off my feet like I weighed nothing at all. I remember trying to fight back, but I was too little. The other yanked my bag so roughly I was flung out of the other guy’s arms and went flailing to the ground. They just wanted my bag. I think they were high. They were definitely drunk. Everything they said was slurred. My bag wouldn’t come loose, though. I wished the leather strap would break, but every time they pulled at it, it just bit into my skin. When I spotted the blade of a knife I thought this was over. All of it was over. One of them kicked me hard in the ribs. I didn’t remember much after that. I remember the pain overtaking my body and then blackness.”
“Fuck, Mia.” Derek’s eyes were filled with tears. The pity was there but there was something else too. Something I didn’t recognize immediately. “That’s why the gym is what it is.” It wasn’t a question. He understood. He got it. He got me. It was as scary as hell.
I felt claustrophobic in his arms. I needed some space. I wasn’t running, I just needed a break. When I tried to get out of Derek’s grasp, I was bowled over by how easy it was to get him to let go. Maybe a little disappointed too. I couldn’t show that, though. Not right now. Right now I had to push through the pain and the fear and finish. I had no intention of going through this twice.
“When I woke up in hospital they didn’t know who I was. Imagine waking up alone in a hospital bed, with the name plate above you reading ‘Jane Doe.’ I didn’t want to be Jane Doe. It was so cold. So clinical. But they had no choice. They’d taken everything. The chain that hung around my neck, the one my grandma had given me on my eighteenth birthday. They took my bag, my phone, my watch. My ID was gone. I gave them my name and they offered to call my parents. But before…before they got there, I needed to know. My Mum, she’s emotional and I needed to hear it before she did. I needed to be prepared. That’s when they told me.”
I pulled back the heavy grey curtains and looked over the parking lot. Nothing was happening outside. All the turmoil was in here. In this room. Inside me. I spun around and took in Derek. He looked like he wanted to kill someone. He probably did. And I loved him for it. He wanted to protect me from everything. The tight, rage-filled look on his face encouraged me to finish.
“I had four broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a concussion. They’d used me as their punching bag. They’d kicked me and hit me and broken me. Those were the easy injuries to deal with. Some of their blows had been directly to my stomach and kidneys. They’d done a lot of damage. By the time I was found, I was bleeding pretty badly. They rushed me straight in for surgery to do what they could. They saved my life…” I was sobbing now, struggling to get the words out. “But they couldn’t save everything. I was bleeding so badly. They…they…”
“Mia…it’s okay. I’m right here, Tinkerbell.” His voice racked under the strain. He stood up and clenched his fists at his side before burying them in his pockets.
“I had a full hysterectomy. They had no choice. It was either that, or I wouldn’t be here.”
“And I’m glad you are.”
At his words I launched myself at him. Luckily, Derek had lightning fast reflexes and caught me the moment I jumped in his arms. With my arms wound around his neck, I locked my legs around his waist. He wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t letting go. He buried his face in
the crook of my neck, and I felt the warm tears on my skin. Pulling his head back by the hair at the nape of his neck, I forced him to look me in the eye. He didn’t blink. I asked the question I didn’t know I was brave enough to ask. “Do you mean that?”
Holding my breath, I could swear my heart stopped while I waited for his answer.
“Absolutely, Tinkerbell. I want to rip those bastards apart for what they did to you. For what they took from you. But right now, I just don’t want to let you go. Please, fuck, please, don’t ask me to let you go.”
I exhaled.
For the first time since it happened, I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. Derek was right. We had a future. It may not have been the one he pictured in the beginning, but it was sure as hell going to be a fun ride.
“Never.” I kissed him with everything I had.
Chapter 39
Derek
I knew my girl was strong, but fuck, that was some heavy shit she’d had to overcome. And for her to still be here as sweet and honest and painfully beautiful as she was, it was a god damn miracle. I meant it when I said I wasn’t letting go. Somehow I managed to get us both tucked into bed and flick the light off. Not once did I break my promise and break our connection. Together we laid in the darkness listening to our heartbeats. Mia was curled up, her head resting on my chest, her tiny breaths warming me.
I know we hadn’t finalized anything, but I’d never been more sure. Mia was it for me. I didn’t care if she could have kids or not. Having Mia would always be enough. All I had to do was convince her of that.
Despite the heaviness and the heartbreak that marred her lovely face, she fell asleep quickly. I guess being emotionally drained would do that to you. Settling back against the pillow, I let myself drift away. As long as Mia woke in my arms, I knew everything would be all right. And if it wasn’t, I’d fight like hell to fix it.
When I woke, I was alone. The space beside me was chilled. My heart took off in a panic. Mia was gone. I’d never slept as soundly as I did last night and now I was left with nothing but a pounding headache and regret. It was painful. Physically so.
With a heavy heart and even heavier footsteps I made my way into the bathroom and cleaned up. I didn’t even bother shaving. I just wanted to get out of this disgusting room and go home. Obviously Mia had made the decision without even waiting for me to wake. There was nothing holding me back now. I’d return to Melbourne, get my shit together, make sure Zoe was all good, and I’d get the hell out of there as quick as I could. Even if my place wasn’t ready when I got back, I’d crash at Jenna’s.
Just as I was stuffing the last pair of socks in my bag, the door swung open and there was Mia. She looked sexier than ever. Or maybe I was just so happy to see her I thought she did. It didn’t matter either way. She was here. She hadn’t run.
“You’re…you’re here.”
“Where’d you think I went?” Mia quirked her eyebrow at me as she strode into the room.
I felt like an idiot. She was wearing my white tuxedo shirt with my belt wrapped around her waist and her hooker heels from last night. Fuck, did she look hot. The cold shower I’d just suffered through wasn’t doing anything to help my current situation as the room in my jeans tightened with every breath.
“I…I woke up and you were gone.”
“I went to get coffee. Thought you could use a cup.”
Mia handed me the paper cup, and even though the smell was awakening my every nerve, I put it down on the nightstand before setting hers down. Usually I was smart enough not to get between a woman and her coffee first thing in the morning, but right now I had to kiss her. She could be pissed at me later, right now I needed her.
I kissed her hard and deep, and when we finally broke apart, we were both panting desperately. “That was…”
“Just the beginning,” I promised.
Chapter 40
Mia
It had been two weeks since I’d seen Derek and it was killing me. We’d returned to Melbourne, and it seemed like as soon as we did, the chaos began. Zoe was ecstatic about our decision. All she wanted was for Derek to be happy. Sure, she was going to miss him, but they both knew it was time for them to live again. Time to move on from simply existing. My parents were a little harder to convince that moving away was the best thing for me. Dad had been dead set against it, but after spending some time with Derek, including an afternoon on the golf course, Dad gave his blessing and wished us well.
Derek had to go, so as hard as it was to watch him pack up and drive away, knowing I’d soon be following him made it hurt a little less. I had a few things to finish up before I joined him to begin our new life. A new life I was over the moon about. A new life I couldn’t wait to start, especially knowing I was starting it with Derek.
“So that’s it.” I grinned as I dropped the master set of keys, my set of keys to the gym in Zoe’s outstretched palm.
“Are you sure you want me to do this? I mean, I’m a mess. You barely know me. What if I screw it all up for you, Mia? This place, this place is your everything.”
“Zoe, you’ll be fine. I trust you. You’ve got this. Just believe in yourself, like Derek does. Like I do, and you’ll be fine. And if you get in to trouble, just call. I’m always here.”
“But…”
“No! No buts this time, Zoe. This place, it was my everything. After what happened I needed it to be. Now, well, now I don’t. Now I’m ready to live again. I can’t wait to see what’s next. And it’s time for you too. You’re stronger than you know. Spencer loved you, Zoe, never forget that. He may not be here every day to remind you, and I may not have ever met him, but I know that. And if he loves you even half of the way I feel for Derek, then you’re a very lucky woman.”
Zoe didn’t argue. Instead she jumped forward and hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe but I wasn’t about to push her aside. Zoe was now the manager of my gym. I trusted her with my baby. Truthfully, she was probably the only person I’d ever trust with it.
“I got to go. Derek’s waiting.”
“Give him a hug for me.”
“That I can do,” I promised as I slipped behind the wheel and started the car.
I had no reservations or regrets about leaving. I was getting what I always wanted. A chance. A chance to have the life I’d only dreamed of. And Derek was the man who was offering it up. We hadn’t given up on the idea of having a family, we’d talked about it some and Derek continued to surprise me. He wasn’t against anything. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering. It was all on the table. If I wanted to be a mum, Derek promised he’d find a way to make it happen. But even if we didn’t end up having the houseful of rug rats we’d both dreamed of, with him I knew my life would never be boring.
I glanced in the rear-view mirror, wishing for one last time. Josie hadn’t come to say bye. I’d spoken to her a bit over the last couple of weeks and it seemed every time we made plans to catch up she either cancelled at the last minute or didn’t show at all. It was frustrating as all hell. I just wanted her to give me a hug and tell me I was doing the right thing. She wasn’t there, though. She wasn’t coming. Squeezing my eyes shut, a stray tear escaped and I wiped it away quickly before waving to Zoe and pulling out into the traffic.
I didn’t need to be sad. This was the start of my new adventure. My new life. I couldn’t wait another minute to get on with it.
Chapter 41
Josie
I stood in the shadows and saw her look around. I knew she was looking for me. Hoping I’d be there. I didn’t have to talk to her to know that. Mia was part of me. My conscience. And that’s why it hurt so much. I knew I’d been a terrible sister over the past couple of months. I’d avoided her in every way I could. And it was killing me, but that was my problem. Because the truth was, if she saw me right now, it would destroy her.
Rubbing my belly, I looked down and saw my bump. There was no way I could hide it. I know that one day soon I’d have to come clean and f
ess up, but right now Mia was happy. She was doing something entirely selfish and putting her own happiness above all others. I knew if she saw me, if she knew what was going on, she’d stay. She wouldn’t let me face this alone. No matter how much it hurt her. And I knew it would. Mia had always wanted kids. She was a natural, while me, I had no interest. I didn’t want to be tied to one person in one place for the rest of my life. If anything, that sounded like a prison sentence. Now here I was, five months pregnant and alone.
All I wanted was a chance, a chance to start over, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. I wasn’t my own person any more. This little girl inside of me, she was my world. And if I had to give up my dreams for her, then that was a price I was willing to pay. Maybe one day things would be different, we’d have the chance, but for now, this was my life.
Wiping away the tears, I turned and headed home. “Time to go, smudge. That was your Aunty Mia. She’s going to love you so much one day,” I said to my belly as I hitched my bag higher on my shoulder and headed back towards the tram stop. I just hope she’ll still love me when she finds out.
***
The End
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Acknowledgements
Sometimes we all feel like running away is the answer to all of our problems. The issue with that though, the moment you stop and look back over your shoulder, there they are. Waiting for you. If you’re lucky enough, sometimes you have people who, like Derek, are always there to help you find your feet again and hold you steady. Sometimes those people even convince us to stop running altogether.
Running Away (Finding Your Place Book 2) Page 24