It's Not About You

by Olivia Reid

  "But I don't—"

  "Call…the police. Tell them what's up. I'll call you right back." I slipped my phone into my apron pocket and grabbed Kevin. "We need to talk."

  "Honey what's wrong?"

  "Little emergency." I passed Tanae on the way out and dragged Kevin into the back and into my room. Forget the fact I hadn't made my bed and I had bras and panties and dirty clothes everywhere. It was just that kind of morning.

  "I'm not sure I want to hear this." Kevin had his hands on his hips as I shut the door.

  "Probably but not but this is serious." I told him what happened the night before, and how Kyle had arranged for Michael to come to the house and I met the sister. I told him everything, to how I feel about Michael and how he said he felt about me. And then I told him about the trouble Melissa had had with her biker boyfriend.

  When I got to the point where they were being shot at and hiding, Kevin had gone into cop mode and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Give me Michael's number."

  I did and he called him. Michael must've answered on the first ring. "Yeah…give me this guy's name."

  I grabbed a pen and paper from my nightstand and handed them to Kevin. He scribbled the information down.

  "Has there been any sign of him yet?" Kevin looked at me as he listened to Michael. Then, "Okay they should be there in a few minutes. I'm on my way from Grace's. Just stay hidden."

  I followed him down the hall and grabbed his coat from the closet. As he put it on he went down the stairs. There he paused and looked at me since I'd trailed him down. "I'll make sure he's safe."

  "Kevin I—"

  "It's okay. We gave it a shot and I was hoping to give it another one but," he said and then shrugged. "I'm always going to care about you."

  "You're mad."

  "Hell yeah I'm mad. But I'm not going to let that get in the way of being a good detective." He reached out and put a hand to the back of my head before he planted one hell of a kiss on my lips.

  Right in front of Harold, Gerald, April, Kyle and Tanae and all her friends.

  Then he was out the door and I was locking it behind him. When I turned from the door everyone was staring down at me. I shrugged. "We dated for a while."

  "When was this?" Gerald said from where he stood beside Kyle.

  Kyle looked at me with worry as he turned to everyone. "The table is set and it's already getting close to 1:30 and some of us have a second Thanksgiving to get to. So…everyone to the table."

  I waited for the traffic to clear away from the top of the stairs before I climbed them. I wanted a shower. No…I wanted a long, hot bath in a house with no one in it but me. Well, Kyle could stay.

  And I wanted Michael in the tub with me. I didn't want to let on how frightened I was. I'd heard the fear in his voice and the thought this stranger, this person I didn't know anything about had shot at his house with him in it…

  I was an inch away from becoming a blubbering pile of goo on the floor and I wasn't going to relax until I knew Michael was okay. And just to add to the tension, he was being rescued by a guy who would probably prefer he was out of the picture.

  Everyone found a place to sit and insisted Kyle take the head of the table so he could lead everyone in a toast to Thanksgiving and my sister could do her prayer.

  I only half listened as we held hands, with Kyle on my right and Tanae on my left. Her words became a droning noise since my thoughts were with Michael, praying for the phone to ring or the door to—

  Someone banged on the front door and jammed the doorbell repeatedly as if they were in a hurry. It couldn't be Michael and Melissa with Kevin, it was too soon. Kevin couldn't have gotten there that fast.

  Tanae jumped up and ran to the living room to the window. She stepped back and looked directly at me, though we were all looking at her. "It's dad."

  No one said a word as he continued banging on the door. I think that was because we could hear him yelling now. Out there. In the front yard. Yelling his head off for me to open the door.

  I panicked. My chest vibrated because my heart pounded too fast and too hard. I tried to remember if I took my blood pressure medication that morning and decided I probably did. Or I hoped so because I wasn't going to be able to take much more of this.

  "Kyle, call the police," April said.

  "No!" Tanae came back to the table and looked at me and then at April. "Don't put him in jail again. I'm afraid if he goes back he'll actually have to do time."

  "And how is this a bad thing?" Kyle said, though I nudged him with my hip. I didn't disagree, but I could tell this was upsetting Tanae as well.

  "Isn't he crazy?" Skyler said. She was still as cute and blond and perky as she'd ever been and stood a half a head taller than Tanae. "I mean, you used to talk about how nuts your dad was." This comment she directed at Tanae.

  That was news to me. I never paid much attention to how my daughter felt about her dad other than loving him because…well…he was her dad. But I suppose it was possible to love crazy people.

  "He's not crazy he's just," Tanae's started to say but I could see the frustration she was feeling. Her cheeks were flushed like they used to when she was embarrassed, mostly by me. Her eyes watered and her tiny hands were balled into fists.

  "He's narcissistic," April said as she threw her napkin down. "Self centered asshole."

  "April?" I looked at my sister. The harshest thing I'd ever heard her say was darn.

  "Who is this person?" Gerald spoke up. I was pretty sure he was going to be upset because this was delaying the meal.

  "My ex husband."

  "Oh? I heard he was crazy."

  I glanced at Kyle who shrugged. Good news traveled fast.

  "Tanae, take your friends and my kids downstairs into Kyle's area and lock the door." April was preparing for battle.

  "I'm not going to hide from my dad!"

  I noticed Pip on her phone. She'd called the police and was giving them the address. I heard the word crazy and the word uncle and I wasn't going to stop her.

  "Pip!" Tanae finally noticed as the friends moved from the table and started filing downstairs. "What did you do?"

  April's eldest put her phone in her pocket and picked her way around the table to the stairs. "I called the police. I'm sorry Tanae but your daddy is bug nuts crazy, to quote my father. And if the police don't take him off I'm calling my dad and he'll beat the crap out of him."

  I wanted to applaud. But I didn't. Because I knew this was upsetting Tanae.

  At least she waited until the others had run downstairs with Kyle at the top, leaning over the banister. "Just make yourselves at home…but don't watching any of those DVDs…and don't touch the books under the bed."

  April, me, Gerald and Tanae all looked at him as he straightened and joined us. He shrugged as Burt started his door beating again. It sounded like he was kicking it.

  "Kyle…you have an area down stairs? Is it like your man cave or something?" Gerald asked.

  Tanae ran from the table and down the steps and yelled out to her dad. "Daddy please…stop beating on the door!"

  "Let me in now!"

  "Tanae don't!" April called.

  But she'd already unlocked it and he burst in, nearly knocking his daughter over. She grabbed at him to stop and he moved past her. He didn't shove her but he wasn't nice to her about it. No…he had one thing on his brain.

  Me.

  Destroy me.

  It was time to show the crazy to the world.

  During our marriage I'd been the only person to see this controlling, mean, nasty side of him because he always put on a fake nice for everyone else. He always pretended to be good and considerate and looked as if he bent over backward for good works.

  When behind their backs he would bad mouth and complain and make fun of. Only to me he brought out the poison tongue, the hateful stares, the nasty comments. Only at me he threw his venom.

  We all moved to the living room as he stomped up those stairs, with Ky
le and April stepping in front and to my surprise, Gerald, to stand in front of me.

  Burt stopped once he got to the top step and looked around. I hadn't allowed him back in the house so he hadn't seen the improvements Kyle and I had poured into it. And given the way it used to look (like a college dorm room) to the now Ikea Heaven it was, it was a vast improvement.

  "So…" Burt started and he pursed his lips. "You finally did it, didn't you, Kyle? You needled your way in here. You know when we first bought the house Grace wanted to move you in. Fix the downstairs up so you'd have a place to stay. Share the mortgage. But I stopped that. A marriage didn't need a third person, even when that person was allegedly a friend."

  Kyle didn't move. He might be gay, but I'd seen him fight. He was good at it. I dared Burt to do the stupid.

  "That's why all those people hanging around her had to go. You. Those friends from college. The ones from work. They were all getting in our way, making our marriage a living hell."

  I'd heard this before. It wasn't new to me, but it was new to them. I looked at their faces, especially Tanae's and April's. They were stunned.

  I moved from behind Gerald and faced Burt. He was a good head taller than me but I wasn't physically afraid of him. And now I was just too damn mad and worried about Michael to be any other kind of afraid of him. I knew Pip had called the police and Burt was seriously in violation of that restraining order. Again. "They weren't the ones that made it hell, Burt. You were. You systematically closed me off from every friend I had. Made it so they couldn't stand to be around me because they couldn't stand you."

  He pointed at me. "Don't you hear yourself? You just said it. They couldn't stand you, but you blame me. You always blame me. You lost your job and you blamed me."

  "You didn't ask to leave the job here, asshat," I said as I took a step closer. "You were fired. You were given notice. But you never wanted to tell anyone did you? And your job in Boston? How many people did you tell the truth to? Huh? About your downgrade from Chair to just plain old professor?" I looked around. "They hated you, Burt. They still hate you. Everyone you meet hates you. Because you're mean. You're nasty."

  "You have no idea what you're saying and you never will." He ran over my sentence with his own. He was good about that. When we first married I wondered if it was just me, but I watched him run over everyone once they started talking about things he didn't want to hear. It was how he communicated. It was how he took control. But all it did was make the person he spoke to dislike him more. "You've done nothing but make my life miserable since the day we married."

  "Daddy!" Tanae came up the steps. "Please stop! You have to get out of here or the cops will arrest you!"

  "I saw her pet cop leave. I waited until he left so I could come into my own house and not be stopped."

  "This isn't your house anymore, Burt!" I finally screamed at him. "This is my house. Mine. You and I are divorced, so what I do or don't do, who I see—none of it is your business anymore!"

  "When it comes to the welfare of my daughter it's my business."

  "Dad I'm nineteen years old!" Tanae came up the stairs and stood beside him. The door was open so the yelling could be heard all over the neighborhood.

  Great.

  "That's not the issue and this is between your mother and I."

  "No it's not!" She was screaming now. "It's you being a dick!"

  That shut him up pretty fast and my jaw dropped. I was pretty sure she cussed a lot now, especially in college, and she'd probably already had sex. But to hear it directed at her father? That was new.

  But Burt was always Burt and pointed at her and then looked at me. "Do you see what you've done to our daughter? Her foul mouth is your fault. You wait, I'll have this house taken from you. I'll prove to her you and Kyle have been lovers, were lovers the entire time we were married."

  "Yeah…" April said in an exasperated tone. "He's crazy."

  "But Kyle and Grace are married, Mr. Murphy. Didn't you know?" Gerald pipped up. "And quite happily so. Even Michael couldn't come between them."

  I closed my eyes at the cringe. In my head it sounded like someone running a needle across a vinyl record.

  "Oh…" Burt smiled at us. "See Tanae? I was right! I was right! All those times you both insisted I was wrong…"

  Kevin came through the door at that moment, his gun in his hand. He looked up and saw Burt facing us down, Tanae to the side. "Dr. Murphy! You are once again in violation of the restraining order filed against you. Please step away from Grace Murphy."

  "Or what?" he turned and looked down. "You're going to shoot me? I dare you."

  Michael stepped inside, followed by Melissa. They both looked road worn and they were both dressed in sweats and blankets. My heart finally relaxed when I saw him and I reached out to grab the railing, thanking whatever deity I could think of.

  Kevin made a gesture at Melissa and Michael to stay where they were. "Burt…there's a squad car less than two minutes from here. Either you leave or I'll have the uniformed officers arrest you. And there won't be any getting out early. You'll end up a long time resident. But…you back out and get in that truck you've got parked down the road and I'll be happy to escort you out of town."

  Michael moved past Kevin and Tanae and made a straight line for me. He didn't even pay attention to Burt, just moved past him and wrapped his arms around me. I melted into him. Screw everyone else. He was alive. He was warm. And I felt his heart beat fast against his chest.

  And he smelled like oil and sweat. I just wanted to bathe him and then jump on him naked.

  "Has he touched you? Hurt you?" Michael's blue eyes were focused on me and I rubbed at a smudge of dirt on his cheek.

  "Only with words, but that's all he's ever done. Used words. And they don't matter anymore."

  "Michael," Gerald said. "What's going on? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you hugging Grace? And who is that at the door?"

  "Gerald," Michael looked over at Kyle who gave a deep shrug. "My sister, the woman at the door, was chased by her ex boyfriend. Myself and Kevin helped get her to safety. And it all happened early this morning so I didn't have time to dress." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "And as for why I'm hugging Grace…it's because I can't get enough of her."

  I leaned my head in his chest.

  Burt had been quietly fueling up in front of us. I could feel it, feel him. He was going to pop at any minute and we were all going to get covered in goo. I just didn't know how he was going to unload.

  "You damn whore—" Burt started and then stopped, as if his mouth wouldn't work fast enough. "You're sleeping with both of them. Kyle and his lover. You couldn't wait to get me out of the house before you took them to bed—"

  I was having a hard time understanding why a man of science with a pretty high IQ would believe the things he was spouting at me. I was even more incensed that he would say these things in front of his daughter. Yeah I was happy others were seeing the crazy, but Tanae was the one person I never, ever wanted to get hurt.

  But apparently in Burt's world, that's the way it was.

  So I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

  While Burt was spouting off, Michael kissed my forehead and pulled back from me. He squeezed my hands and let go and with one strong, fluid movement, landed a hard right cross into Burt's left cheek.

  Burt's head snapped to his right and he landed against the banister. It all happened in slow motion until Burt collapsed, and then everything came back to real time as a round of clapping filled the house.

  Michael stood over Burt, his arms taught with strain and his legs spread apart. He looked like he was ready to brawl. "You will never, ever insinuate Grace Murphy is anything but a considerate, appreciative human being to others and to her face, to anyone that knows her, and especially to and in front of your daughter, whom you love to use as a some sort of weapon against Grace." He stepped back and looked at Tanae whose eyes were wide as she watched Michael. "I'm sorry I hit
your father, but I can't and won't stand by and let him talk to your mother like that." He looked around. "No one should."

  More clapping and I felt my face turn scarlet. I was both amazed and embarrassed. No one had ever stood up for me like that. Not even my family. Burt had always been able to do what he wanted to do, say what he wanted to say and people just made excuses for him.

  Oh he's bi-polar. Oh he's got Aspergers. Oh, he's just narcissistic.

  So when did any of these things make it right to be so mean to other people? Especially me?

  Tanae turned and started out the door but Kevin moved pretty quick and stopped her. He didn't grab her; just stood in her way so she couldn't leave the house. "Running away won't stop this. And it won't solve anything. You have to see things for what they are. Your father verbally abused your mother throughout their marriage, and making excuses for him isn't going to help him, or your mother. She took out that retraining order to avoid this," Kevin said as gestured to the situation around us. "She knew he'd try and make all of this about him. But he was never even part of the thought. Grace wanted to make a nice Thanksgiving and your father insisted on ruining it. Why? Because it's his way of controlling it. Controlling you and your mother and the situation. He's just a sad, sad human being. He's nothing more than a lonely, pathetic narcissistic ass who will never know what true love is until he learns to be happy for others."

  Burt pushed himself up off the floor when Kevin stopped talking. Michael remained rooted where he was, dressed in nothing more than sweats, loafers and his glasses. Burt's nose was bleeding. So was his lip.

  I looked at him and felt…nothing.

  For the first time since the divorce, since the wedding, since Tanae was born I felt absolutely nothing for this man. Kevin was right. He wasn't someone to fear or to run from, to lock out or to even cower from.

  Burt Murphy was someone to banish. And I was the only one to do that. On shaky legs I moved from behind Michael and put my hand on his arm. He didn't move or even flinch, but he did look down at me. Our eyes met and he gave me a nod.

  Burt took a step back as I took several forward. I kept my voice low as the door opened down stairs and the kids started up the steps to stand by Melissa at the door. "I'm going to tell you this in front of all these people because that way you can't claim I was crazy. Or suffering from postpartum or menopause. For fifteen years it's been about you. Always about how you felt, what you did, where you went, the people you insulted, the horrible people you worked with, about how no one understands you and about how I don't understand you most of all.