Ladies Listen Up

by Darren Coleman

  “Well, we’re fine in here,” I commented. “I’m Diego Christian. This is my classroom.”

  “Can I see some ID from the both of you, if you don’t mind?”

  “Absolutely. This is Ms. Harris. She teaches across the hall.” The police officer looked at my desk and frowned up as he returned my driver’s license.

  He pointed at the desk and said, “You sure there was no struggle here?” He walked around my desk and looked around.

  “No, sir, I was just cleaning it off. It collects dust.”

  He nodded a disapproving glance. I didn’t give a damn. I looked at Lanelle and rolled my eyes. “Okay, then, sorry to disturb you…and whatever lessons you were preparing,” he said sarcastically. Then he clicked his walkie-talkie. “Stockton, here. All clear on this wing.” He turned and headed out of the classroom.

  The second the door shut behind him, I began picking up some of the things from the floor near my desk. Lanelle was still standing there with a stupid look on her face. I contained my thoughts for as long as I could, which was about thirty seconds. “Are you nuts?” I asked her. “You trying to get me fired?”

  She burst out laughing. “I swear, I thought someone called the police on us. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.”

  We headed out of the classroom. “What if someone had come into the building? Would you have protected me?”

  “Is this before or after I tapped it?”

  She made an angry face. “You ain’t right.”

  As soon as the students were gone I made it a point to dial Jo. I got her secretary and she put me right through. “Jonetta Cleveland.”

  “Hey, Jo, this is Deigo.”

  “Hey, man. You won’t believe this. I was just about to call you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. I heard you were great on the air last night.”

  “Where’d you hear that?”

  “Well, that’s why I was about to call you. Hold on for a second.” I heard the music she had playing when she placed me on hold. It was the first time I’d listened to R&B music while on hold. She came back on the line and sounded a little more lively. “So, Diego, have you heard of WJDS, Smooth 99? They’re a new radio station down there, I believe.”

  “Actually I have.”

  “Well, what do you think of them?”

  “They play some pretty good music in the evenings. Why?”

  “Well, the station manager, Andrea Jack, called me this morning. She was raving about your performance last night. She’s interested in giving you your own show. The afternoon drive, three to seven.”

  I was speechless. “Are you kidding?”

  “Nope. She wants to name your show after the column, but she’s going to want to associate your real name with it. I don’t really see where it’ll be a problem, because you’ll have to quit your teaching job to do this.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe this.”

  “Believe it. She wants to sit down with you next week. You might need an agent. I have a couple of good ones you might want to talk to and sort of feel them out. But the show could be a huge break. The beginning of some major things.”

  “So is it definite?”

  “Well, there’s nothing definite in the industry. You’ll find out, but she has the power to make that happen. And when you are dealing with the person with the power, then it’s always a good thing. I think it’s a go if you want it.”

  “If I want it? You got to be bullshitting. Of course I want it.”

  I could hear her sipping something. When she finished she said, “Diego, think about it. You will have to give up teaching, and it’s not easy, becoming a public figure. People will place all kinds of demands on you. I’m not trying to discourage you. It’ll be great for the column. I failed to mention, one of the things that I’ll have to tie to her using the name Ladies Listen Up, which we’ve trademarked, is that you will have to write the column for as long as you use the name.”

  “Well, what if I become more valuable, are you guys going to pay me more money?”

  She laughed. “That, my friend, is the name of the game. If you become more valuable, of course we will. But remember, where there’s money, there’s not always opportunity, and where there’s opportunity, there’s not always money. So never get fixated on the dollar signs. Suppose you’d turned down this column because it paid only a thousand dollars per month. Never mind that you got the chance to do Janet’s show on your own. Without your column, that pays you only a thousand bucks a month, you’re not on that show, you see?”

  “I see. I see.”

  “So, you called me. What was that in reference to?”

  “Oh…I just wanted to tell you about the show last night. But I guess I was too late.”

  “I’ll listen to it tomorrow and give you more feedback. We had it taped and put on disc to use on promos. It’ll arrive in the morning.”

  “Cool. You all think of everything.”

  “We try. Anything else?”

  “Nope.”

  “Okay. I’ll have my assistant call you tomorrow with the numbers of those agents and help you get ready for that next week.”

  “Sounds great.” I couldn’t wait to hang up the phone so I could scream.

  “All right. Talk to you soon.”

  We hung up and I fell to my knees right there in my classroom and let out the type of scream that is usually reserved for lottery winners and newly crowned sports champions.

  “You okay, son?” Mr. Waverly said as he stuck his head in the door.

  “Yes, sir. I’m great.”

  “Okay, then. All that noise, people might think something’s wrong.”

  “Nah. I’m sorry. I’m just excited. I just found out that I’ll be retiring at the end of the year.”

  “Retiring. You too young to retire.”

  “Yeah, well, if everything goes well, then that’s what I’ll be doing. Retiring from teaching, that is.”

  “Well, okay, then, if that’s what you wanna do. Hell, I’m looking forward to retiring from this job myself.”

  “How many years you got left?”

  “Too damned many. I’m nearly sixty, but the pension is a joke. If I wasn’t so damned old, I’d rob me a bank and get the heck out of here.” He laughed. “You heard about that? Someone’s been making some clean getaways. Knocking off every other joint around here.”

  “Yeah, I heard.”

  “Well, they need to quit while they’re ahead. The police is on ’em now.”

  “I guess.”

  Mr. Waverly walked out of my room with my trash can. He tossed the trash and brought the can back. He was a good custodian. I was thinking about how unfair life was. Here he was going to have to work until he was seventy. But he was right about the pension. The government didn’t give a damn about the teachers, custodians, or anybody who worked for the school system unless you were a policy maker. They needed a program called No Teacher Left Behind.

  Jacob called in sick and Elise had played hooky. They had spent the entire day in southern Pennsylvania at a ski resort. Jacob had surprised her with a bag full of ski gear. He purchased a pink DKNY ski jacket and pants and left them in her living room. When she woke up to get ready for school, thinking Jacob had left, he was already dressed in his gear. Sitting in the corner with a huge grin.

  “I called in. I took some slick leave. Now I want to show you a good time,” he’d said.

  She’d put up no fight. Elise didn’t know what it felt like to have someone do nice things for her. Jacob was proving to be an angel. She’d been without family for so long, when he began to show her attention and caring, she easily fell deep in love.

  Though it had been a frosty, early-February day, they’d gone tubing, tried snowboarding, and eaten a romantic dinner at a quaint steak house, and now they were headed home.

  As they cruised down I-270 Elise thanked Jacob for the wonderful time. “I’ve always wanted to do something like that. Just take some time out to g
et away.” She smiled. “You really are special.”

  “Thank you. I enjoyed it. I enjoy you,” he said. Even saying the words still felt a bit taboo. She was twelve years his junior and he shouldn’t have been looking at her in that way, but ever since he first laid eyes on her, there’d been an overwhelming attraction.

  “What do you think is going to happen with this? I mean next year. Do you think that we’ll still be like this?”

  Jacob listened to each word. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll still want to be bothered with an old man like me, and maybe you won’t.”

  “Yeah, right. I’ll always want to be with you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said in a tone that sounded sincere.

  He looked over at her. She was beyond adorable. He could see the little girl in her that had never been nurtured, yet at the same time he could see the dazzling black woman she had the potential to become. He hoped that their relationship wouldn’t do anything to stifle her growth. Most of all, he didn’t ever want to hurt her.

  When they reached the exit to his house he surprised her by getting off the highway instead of going to her place. “I’ve got a surprise. I was going to wait until next week to give it to you on Valentine’s Day, but I want you to have it now.”

  She entered the house behind him and he told her to take a seat. When she did he said, “Now take off all your clothes.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “Just do it.”

  She breathed out heavily, feigning some level of angst. “All right already.”

  “Be right back.” Jacob ran up to his bedroom and came down and said, “Okay, you come on up.”

  Elise climbed the steps naked, ass and breasts jiggling slightly to Jacob’s soul satisfaction. She entered the dimly lit room, placed her hands on her hips, and said, “What?”

  He smiled at her attempt to come off as sassy. “Close your eyes and put your arms out.”

  She did as he’d told her and he went to his armoire and pulled out a bag. He slipped the silk kimono robe onto her. It was made of textured crimson fabric with a gold trim. Jacob had had it custom-made by a friend’s wife. It was cut so that it hung right at midthigh. “Okay, take a look.”

  Elise had always longed for the day when she’d be showered with gifts, and to have a man like Jacob showing his love for her in this way was beyond her wildest dreams. The material felt so good on her skin she was instantly turned on. She eased toward the mirror and her face turned into a huge smile. “Oh, Jacob, it’s so pretty and it feels wonderful.”

  He was grinning as he watched her caress the fabric. “Reach inside the pocket.”

  She located the small pocket and stuck her hand inside and pulled out a box. “What’s this?”

  “It’s for you. Open it.”

  All manner of thoughts ran through her mind. Was this a proposal? If it was, then it was how she’d always imagined it would be. As she lifted out the box she immediately realized it was a little too big to contain a ring.

  When she pulled the bow off and opened it, a rush came over her. She saw the small bit of light that was in the room reflected off the tennis bracelet she held in her hands. “Ohmigod,” she whispered, and tried to catch her breath as her heart began to beat.

  It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She remembered that Jacob had heard her compliment Lanelle on the one she’d worn. The only thing was that this one was bigger. Four carats, she imagined. But that didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to her was that the man who had given it to her was, in fact, the one.

  She was young, but not naive. She knew that all manner of things could happen and come between them. The life she’d lived had been one of losses, and fights. Through it all, she’d never given up on her hopes and quest for happiness. Elise had decided that life was a journey and along the way she’d learn to pick her spots and enjoy the good things that came to her and try to grow from the bad.

  But deep in her heart, she’d always believed that there would be one person who’d come into her life and make it better. She wouldn’t have to work at pleasing him. She could be herself and still be loved and feel special. That person would make her feel safe. He would show her the way and make all the rough times seem worth it.

  Though she could never have seen it coming, the day she walked into his classroom, Jacob was the one. He was her lover, her friend, and her protector. This man, even if he left tomorrow, had shown her what she was supposed to feel like. He was her teacher.

  “I love it. Thank you,” she said with tears in her eyes.

  He reached out and hugged her. There was nothing else to say or do except call in for another day off.

  21

  A Brick Wall Has Got to Fall

  Dear Dr. C.,

  My husband is always complaining that I’m not submissive enough. My argument is that the whole submissive woman theory is outdated. If I start acting submissive after all these years, how is the mortgage going to get paid? Oh, did I mention that I make more money than he does? My argument is that if he truly wants a submissive wife, I shouldn’t have to get up at six, take the kids to day care, commute forty-five minutes to work, and put in eight and a half hours. He has the nerve to say that I don’t listen to him. The other day he complained that I don’t cook in the kitchen or the bedroom enough anymore. Then he suggested that he wants us to sell our home and move to the South, where the cost of living is cheaper. He claims that once I give up my career, I will be able to value and respect him as a man.

  I’m ready to tell him to move south…but without me. You tell me. Who’s right?

  Shaky Ground in Chi-town

  Dear Shaky,

  The issue of being a submissive wife is a serious one. It saddens me that so many women think the whole concept of being submissive is a farce. A woman should be so lucky as to find a man worthy of submitting to. Never mind who makes the most money. If your husband works hard and receives an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work, stands on principles, is fair when dealing with his family, and most important, if he truly tries his best to be a success in the world, then he is worthy.

  Now, your situation sounds a little different. It sounds like you’re doing a little too much around that household for him to be making so many demands. Maybe he’s tripping a bit, and then maybe you are insistent on living beyond your means. You’ve got to really look at the situation. He says that he is willing to relocate in order to allow you to give up working. If so, then he is doing exactly what a man who is worthy of a submissive wife should do…coming up with a solution.

  This would, of course, open up another problem. Most women have no desire to even acquire an understanding of the concept. Find out what the term really means. You can ask your pastor, and see if you even have what it takes to be that kind of woman.

  Yours truly,

  Dr. C.

  The slap came as quick as an alligator’s jaws clamping shut and it stung like hell. I couldn’t believe the words had come, or rather slipped, out of my mouth. “Get the hell off of me,” she yelled at the top of her lungs. Another slap and I hopped back.

  “I’m sorry.” I was now on my knees on the bed, dick still hard, yet it was going down quickly.

  “I have never ever in my life had a man call me another woman’s name while he’s making love to me. Diego, how could you do that?”

  In warp speed, Lanelle was putting her clothes on. I had no answers. A brother had simply gotten caught up in the moment. “Alicia, it feels so good. Fuck you,” she said, and jumped at me again. I flinched. “Go find that bitch. Go fuck that bitch, ’cause you won’t be getting no more of this,” she said as she left my bedroom and headed down the steps. I followed behind her, but not too closely. The next thing I knew, my front door was slamming shut with crazy force. She was mad.

  I walked into my kitchen and poured a glass of cranberry juice. I sat down, ass naked, and began to think about what I’d done. I couldn’t believe it. It wasn�
�t like I was still sitting around thinking about Alicia. I stood up and reached into the cabinet so that I could add a little Grey Goose to my cranberry drink.

  The wind howled a bit and shook my screen door. I thought for a second that she’d come back to finish me off. “Damn,” I said aloud. At times like this, a brother needed a pet. A little dog that I could talk to and ask stupid ass questions like “Should I call her and apologize?”

  The little dog could say, “You could try, but she ain’t gonna want to hear that bullshit.”

  I put the bottle of vodka straight to my mouth and began to chug it, a gulp at a time. After the equivalent of five shots had landed in my belly, I had to sit down on the couch and hold it together. My stomach started to hurt a little. Lanelle was a really nice girl. On top of that, I had just blown the best piece of ass I’d had in a long time. She was far better in bed than Alicia and I couldn’t figure out why I’d slipped up.

  I turned on the TV and began to flip channels as I tried to figure out my next move. It was eight o’clock on a Friday night. If I hadn’t blown it, she would have been in my kitchen right at that moment making me a sandwich while I recuperated for the second round. Now I was ass out, owing myself a nut. I watched a few minutes of Paid in Full on BET before I lost complete focus. It hadn’t taken thirty minutes before the thoughts started to drift back again.

  I began to wonder where Alicia was, what she was doing, and who she was with. The emptiness would be coming next, but I decided to head it off. A hot shower and more liquor did the trick for a moment. I needed to get out.