Ladies Listen Up

by Darren Coleman

  I couldn’t believe it. “Are you serious?” I asked. Then I saw four officers emerge from the boiler room with a duffel bag, carrying it as if it contained a bomb.

  We walked outside and I figured that the “he” she was referring to was Grump and that I should never have put it past him. I thought about all the times he’d come back into the school after a lunch break sweating like a hog. I asked, “Didn’t we have a background search done on him before he came here?”

  “Diego, he’s been here for almost twenty years,” she said as we walked. “I don’t even think they were doing background checks when he started.”

  “Twenty years?” I was puzzled. Then, as we made our way to the edge of the parking lot, I saw him. Mr. Waverly was in handcuffs as he was being lifted into the rear of a SWAT van. I couldn’t believe it. “Mr. Waverly?”

  “Yeah. He’s been robbing stores for the last five months. They found a gun and some money in the boiler room. This is going to be a mess. Lord, I have a huge migraine coming.” She then turned around and left me standing there watching the man who’d been like a distant uncle, a mentor at times, being hauled off to jail. I couldn’t believe it. It was like watching a movie. Instantly, I thought of Jacob and what I’d done.

  Alicia had come between him and me. She called me from his house phone and left me a message that he’d fucked her. According to her, better than I ever had. I found it hard to believe—both parts. But she promised that she could deliver proof, via her camera phone. And when I called Jacob, he denied it, but then tried to explain why he hadn’t mentioned her coming to his house.

  He called me later and tried to convince me that it was a lie, but I didn’t want to hear the story. I was too hurt. He got tired of me cursing him out and began to curse back. He was my best friend in the world, but no matter how many times I tried to figure it out, I couldn’t understand how he’d break code like that. He, more than anyone else on the planet, knew how I felt about Alicia. I had nothing else to say to him, yet I wasn’t finished with him.

  The news cameras were there for the arrest. When they hauled him off, a few students watched in shock. He tried to keep his face down as the cameramen moved in closer, but it didn’t work. The image was clear, and when the four o’clock news rolled, everyone who knew him was shocked to hear the headline: Jacob Marsh, band instructor and teacher at Lyndon Johnson High School, in Greenbelt was arrested today for an alleged sexual relationship with a former student.

  I watched with bated breath and the whole thing seemed surreal. In a fit of anger, I had turned in my best friend. Now that I’d watched the whole thing as it unfolded in front of the world’s eyes and my own, the feeling in my stomach told me that perhaps I’d gone too far.

  26

  It Don’t Hurt Now

  Dear Dr. C.,

  I recently met a brother online; it was my first time trying one of these dating services, and we exchanged numbers. When we talked, he seemed really normal. I don’t know if I was expecting him to tell me he had a few dead bodies in his basement, but at any rate we made plans to go out.

  It turns out that we know some of the same people. He went to Howard U. I went to Hampton U. I was so happy to hear that the people I knew who knew him spoke highly of him. We have started to see each other regularly and I enjoy every minute of the time we spend together. This past weekend he told me that he wants our relationship to be committed. My thing is this. I have always had problems with guys once the relationship starts. I can’t take the way things change. It’s like I get depressed when the honeymoon is over and immediately want to end the relationship.

  I’m not trying to play games with this man; I just want to stretch out the good treatment. What should I do?

  Loving the Attention in Atlanta

  Dear Attention Lover,

  What you need to do is this. Make a list of everything that you have to have in order to feel good and satisfied in a relationship. Then make a list of the things that he is doing right. Then be honest with him. Tell him up front that if he won’t be able to keep up the standard that he is setting, you will most likely become dissatisfied with the relationship. You have to be realistic, though. A new relationship absorbs both parties to a degree that few can maintain over a long period of time. You can’t be a nut, believing that he can spend every minute of every day making you feel special and appreciated. That’s not a relationship, that’s a job. And one that will constantly be vacated due to exhaustion.

  Just be up-front. Few women do this. They just go with the flow and watch men slip gradually from the prince who swept them off their feet to the frog that’s sitting on the couch hogging the remote.

  So if you want to get what you want and keep it…speak up. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

  Yours truly,

  Dr. C.

  A week after I turned my best friend in to the police, it’d seemed I’d jumped out of the frying pan and directly into the fire. Something as routine as getting a piece of ass had turned into a disaster. There didn’t seem to be any getting out of this situation without either getting killed or going to jail.

  My life or his? I pondered. This man had crashed down my door and had a shiny, silver revolver in his hand. I wondered if the brother was prepared to kill as he’d promised.

  Just then he peered up the stairs and spotted me. As he asked the words in a deep James Earl Jones voice, my whole life passed in front of my eyes.

  “Where is my wife?”

  I stood there silent. I asked myself how. How did it come down to this? I thought about everything that I’d done from the beginning to get here. A chain of events began to play out right there as I traded stares with my lover’s husband in the middle of the night.

  I thought about all the things that had made me act the way I did. My upbringing, my selfish desires to have it all, right or wrong. It might have been the fact that I was so good at hiding who I really was most of the time that women were always falling in love with an illusion. From the time I was eight, women, my teachers and aunts, had all called me charming.

  I was light-skinned when it was the shit to be just that. I grew into a handsome and confident brother. I was intellectually inclined, with a strong sense of street savvy. Women loved me, not only because I knew what to say to them, but because sometimes I even knew how to listen.

  It was all about to blow up in my face, though. It looked like I was headed to jail or to the morgue. I couldn’t hear him talking anymore even though his lips were moving. He moved toward me and I was startled as his wife yelled out from the top of the steps.

  “Pleeeease stoooop.” Her voice pierced my state and almost snapped me out of my trance. My hands trembled and I thought about all the letters I’d responded to, all the advice I’d given.

  I heard the words that I’d read that day. One day, Diego. You’ll get yours.

  Then I thought about all that I had to live for. Things were going to be different for me. As the dirt I’d done all began to flash in front of my eyes, it became so clear to me. It had never been worth it. Then just like that, I heard the boom, the echo, and then I lost my balance. It was over just like that.

  As I lay on my back and closed my eyes, I thought of her. I thought of Heaven, my daughter. At that point, all the women that I’d used, trying to heal and hide from the pain—they didn’t matter. Early in my life, I’d kept count and treated my conquests as a symbol of who I was. As of late, I’d come to realize that I did this because…like so many men, it’s all we know. And because sex was the first thing that women were usually willing to give.

  Now I was simply hoping to have a chance to see another day. I finally realized that I didn’t need to be here. On my back, at the mercy of this man.

  I opened my eyes when I heard him crying. He was on his knees. The gun was still in his hands, but he was weeping like a baby. He had fired a shot well over my head, with no intention of hitting me. He was simply hurt. As I sat up I looked into Paige’s eyes and her fac
e was filled with shame. She walked down the steps to her man and began to weep with him on the floor. Then I heard her begin to say that she was sorry.

  “How could you do this to me?” he asked hysterically over and over. “I love you. Why, Paige? Whyyyyy?” he cried. It was weird hearing this deep voice sounding so pained.

  “I’m so sorry. I am. Please forgive me.”

  He was bawling like a baby at the top of his lungs. I was waiting for the snot bubbles.

  “Can you forgive me, please?” she begged. Then she said something that I was sure stunned him. In the middle of probably the worst moment of his life, she said, “I forgave you.”

  It was like he’d been shot with a tranquilizer gun. He stopped crying and looked into her eyes as if she were no longer his source of pain. Then she said, “We have to go. I’m sure someone called the police.”

  He gave me a menacing look as he moved hastily out the door. Less than ten minutes later, I was at my kitchen table helping the police fill out a report and trying to explain what had happened and why this man had burst through my door. They’d seen it all before, and once they’d finished the report, gathered some evidence, and taken a few pictures, they advised me to get a restraining order and promptly left.

  Once they were gone, I called my insurance company to report my catastrophe. They told me that they would send someone out within the hour to board up my door until the morning, when I could have it fixed.

  I went and sat in my living room, turned on the television, and waited for the employee to arrive. As nervous as I’d been, incredibly I was able to close my eyes and start to drift off. That’s when I heard footsteps and looked up, startled.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I came to apologize. That was wrong what I did…I called Paige’s husband and told him all about you two. I thought he’d come over here and kill you.”

  “How did you know? How did you find him?”

  “It’s a small world.”

  “Well, he almost did kill me. So you hate me that much?”

  “I thought I did, but I don’t. In fact, I still love you.”

  When Alicia said those words, my heart melted. “What about all that stuff with Jacob?”

  “I lied. He didn’t touch me. At least not in the way that I’d wanted him to. I did want him to fuck me. But not because I loved him. Because I loved you and wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me. I even threatened to turn him in to the police. I did a lot of mean things in the cause of trying to use him. He ended going into a screaming fit, totally unlike Jacob. Then I understood why. He told me that he was having a baby with the girl, Elise, and the look in his eyes told me that he would do anything to protect what he had with her.”

  “So what did you do?”

  “I decided to leave him the hell alone. He told me that if I wanted to hurt you, then to do it, but to leave him out of it.”

  When she said that, I had to take a seat. Jacob was sitting in a jail cell and I’d put him there. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. There she was in front of me again.

  “So why did you do all of this?”

  “Diego, you made me crazy. Everything you did made me crazy. But through it all, I never stopped loving you.”

  I closed my eyes and thought about it all. The entire year went spinning through my head. All the hurt I’d felt and caused. The wedding. Gina and the baby. The column. The show. Lanelle and Paige. Finally, what I’d done to Jacob. Now that Alicia stood before me, I realized that it was all because of her that I’d done the crazy things I’d done. Then, as I stared into her eyes, I stood and moved toward her. In a low whisper, I said, “So…after all this…you still love me?”

  “Yes,” she said. My thoughts shifted to my friend. I was going to have to straighten out the whole mess with Jacob; however, it would have to wait until the morning.

  With that, I took Alicia by the hand and led her upstairs to my bed.

  One Year Later

  In the end, it seemed I got exactly what I’d always wanted. Alicia and I were married three months after the night she’d walked through my crushed-up door. We eloped and tied the knot in Hawaii in front of my brother, Lee, and his wife. Jacob had been invited, but the whole thing was too awkward. Although we were friends again, our relationship had been strained by what I’d done to him, and the advances on him that Alicia had made had left me feeling uncomfortable.

  The day after Alicia confessed everything to me, I had gone to Jacob’s principal first, and then the authorities, to revoke my statement. I claimed that it was a love triangle and that I’d been a scorned lover, which in effect had been true. I was then charged with filing a false report and they decided to investigate Jacob’s involvement with Elise anyway. They dug, but nothing came up. Though they were forced to drop the charges, it was a real mess. Jacob and Elise basically brought the whole thing to a close when they married the day after her eighteenth birthday. By law, she couldn’t be forced to testify against her husband in any case, and since he had resigned from his job with the county, there was nothing for them to do.

  He managed to keep his recording deal even after the negative publicity; after all, it was 2006. Without a criminal record, a scandal, or at least a brush with the law, who was he but another Goody Two-shoes? He’d had sex with a student, knocked her up, and married her. That was hot by today’s standards.

  As another show was winding down I looked at the clock and smiled. With just a few small exceptions, my life seemed to be on track. My show had been launched and was noted number two in the D.C. area. I wanted that number one spot.

  “You got questions, he’s got answers. Ladies Listen Up.” The sexy voice chimed out as the theme music and the slogan echoed over the airwaves. The phone lines began to light up for the last segment of the show. “We’re going to take one more call before we take it home. I’ve got Anna on the line people. Go on, Anna.”

  “Hey, Dr. C.”

  “Hey you. Anna, you sound young. How old are you?”

  “I’m eighteen. A freshman at the University of Maryland.”

  “Okay, go ahead,” I said.

  “I have a dilemma. It’s kinda complicated.”

  “Go on, shoot. I got answers.”

  “Okay. Well, I’m in love with someone, but she’s married.”

  “Whoa.”

  “Yeah, she’s actually married to our former teacher.”

  When I heard this, my senses began to go off. “Say what?”

  “Yeah, she married my former teacher. But I really care about her and I think she cares about me in the same way. The thing is, I know that he’s been cheating on her, but I don’t want to tell her because…well…it’s going to cause a whole bunch of trouble.”

  “How do you know he’s cheating?”

  “I followed him…and you know what makes it so bad?”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s with his best friend’s—or should I say…his former best friend’s wife.”

  “That’s sounds serious, but it looks like we are out of time,” I said as my heart began to beat fast. Then I said, “Caller, you stay on the line.”

  Anna let out a very devilish chuckle and said, “I thought so.”

  Author’s Note

  In case you all didn’t know, some authors, including myself, equate writing a book to be something like having a baby. It’s an exhausting, exciting, and sometimes painful process. Ultimately, you’ve created a piece of you that you send out into the world to be a reflection of all your labor and love. I only pray that I touch, inspire, and move those who are gracious enough to support my work. Most of all, I try to entertain all who read as I try to fulfill my purpose here on earth.

  In writing Ladies Listen Up, I wondered if I would leave any socially redeeming literary footprints. I feared that I might be adding just another “drama book” to the tables and shelves that are full of them. After reading it in its entirety, my fears were put to rest. I think th
e messages throughout are clear and abundant, if only you pay attention. I admit, they are sprinkled in amongst much drama and shocking prose. Still, they’re all the things I learned as I lived, or watched what happened around me. Don’t get me wrong; this is not an autobiography, but I did come to a soul-stirring revelation. This book is the closest, yet at the same time, the most distant from my actual life as I’ve written thus far. Some of the memories and content were disturbing, even to myself, as well as to some of my closest friends. Yet as a writer I had to be true and put it down the only way I knew how—authentically.

  Last, I want to send a note to the women whom I’ve shared love with. I want to thank you for the growth and for being a reflection of the things that were the best and worst of me at that time. It was our experiences that placed this book in my heart before I even knew I’d be destined to write it. This book is not meant to cheapen any of it. So please, never think that. Even if you think you see yourself in this book…chances are great that I’m talking about someone else. And if by chance I’m talking about you, don’t trip ’cause…I’ll mourn forever. Shit, I got to live with the fact that I did you wrong forever.

  Acknowledgments

  Once again and always, I have to give thanks to the Almighty. He always carries me to the other side and restores and builds my faith. After that I want to give another dedication out right here to two of my friends and test readers. Chad Cunningham, you are like a little brother to me and I really appreciate you having me on your team. I remember watching you run across the yard with that plastic football helmet on, now look at you…coaching me as I bang out these chapters, making them the new hotness. Next, I want to thank my newest muse, Enid Pinner. Your energy and enthusiasm helped me put it down in a big way. By the time you read this I will be able to say thanks for all the love and hospitality at the CIAA. Seriously, I really appreciate your attention and passion for this book.