by Erin Osborne
“What made you stop drinkin’ and gettin’ high?” he asks, not saying anything else but that question while letting his eyes search my face to see the sincerity of my answer.
“Well, I knew that I wanted my daughter back and no one was going to give a child to someone acting like I was. So, I got in my bed after disposing of everything in my house and let the withdraws overtake me. It’s the sickest I’ve ever been in my life and I wanted to give in so many times. Just to take the pain away. But, Shelby was constantly on my mind, so I didn’t move. It took a few weeks just to get to the point that I could move about and not feel like puking my brains out with every movement,” I tell him, remembering the days I lay writhing in pain, the sweat covering my body, and getting so sick and not being able to move to make it to the bathroom. “I haven’t touched a single drug since then and I only drink once in a while now. Usually, I’ll be content with being the designated driver, so I know my friends make it home safe.”
“And you think you’re not strong? I don’t know many men that would handle goin’ through withdrawals the way that you did. It wouldn’t matter what the reason they were doin’ it for, they’d go to detox or just start usin’ again. You are one of the strongest people I know,” he tells me, making a small part of me believe what he’s saying. There’s another glimmer of hope that I haven’t felt in so long and I try to battle it away before it takes root and grows.
“It don’t mean anything if my daughter can’t come home to me,” I tell him, letting him know that the conversation is over with. “Now, are we heading out or standing here and talking all day long?”
“We’re leavin’, but don’t think this conversation is over with. We’ll be comin’ back to this sooner or later,” Gage tells me, grabbing my hand and leading me out the door.
It’s taken us about a half hour to get to the first stop on our day out. Gage took us through town and then out the highway to our destination, letting the bike fly and carry us toward our stop. He pulls up to an overlook and parks the bike, waiting for me to get off first. Walking toward the guardrail, he straddles it and looks out over the town below us. My breath is taken away as I see Dander Falls below us. It’s so beautiful and peaceful here. You’d never know that there’s people out to get what they want no matter the cost, the violence that rests there in back alleys and in the open. Hell, you’d never know that somewhere in that town, a motorcycle club lives and tries to keep the town clean.
We sit in silence and let the peacefulness wash over us. Each of us our lost in our own thoughts as the town below continues on about its business. I can’t imagine what it looks like at night when the lights are shining, and the stars are out. I’ll have to keep better track of how to get back here, so I can come on my own some night. Not that he’ll let me come alone, I’m sure.
“What are you thinkin’ about?” he asks me suddenly.
“How peaceful it is here. And how I want to see what it looks like at night,” I tell him, moving a little closer to him. “Up here you would never know about all the drama, violence, and other nasty shit going on down there. You can imagine that it’s a quiet little town that has nothing wrong in it.”
“Now you see why I like comin’ here. It’s where I go when I need to get away and think. I can be alone and not have everyone comin’ to me, forget about the people that may be after us, everythin’ is pushed from my mind when I’m here,” he replies to me, letting me know that we’re basically on the same page about why it’s nice here.
Gage and I go back to sitting in silence while we continue to look out over the town. I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize he’s gotten up and is waiting for me to notice him on the other side of the rail. Holding out his hand, he holds mine while I step back on the safe side of the railing and we head over toward the bike to continue our day.
As promised, he takes me throughout the town and shows me different places that he knows I might like to know where it is. We ride through town for a while before he pulls over and asks if I want to grab lunch or head to the clubhouse for a little while. I’ve never been to his clubhouse, but I know what it’s like at Clifton Falls. Right now, I don’t want to deal with club girls that think they have a claim on Gage when we’re nothing right now. It’s a headache I don’t want or need in my life.
“I’d rather get something to eat and head back to the house. I wanted to get some cleaning done and stuff before going back to work tomorrow,” I tell him, not sure of what his reaction is going to be.
“That’s fine. I’ll make some calls while you get done what you want to do. Then we’ll relax and watch a movie or somethin’,” he replies, not upset or mad at all. “Do you want to go to King’s Bar or Country Corner?”
“Surprise me,” I tell him, wrapping my arms back around his waist as he turns his bike back on and pulls out.
Gage
Spending the day with Riley today has been great. After being gone almost all day, we’ve been at home and I’ve been working on more calls about Shelby. One of the leads that the nurse gave us was a good one we didn’t know how to follow up on. She told us about the woman that came and picked the baby up, so I’m hoping that she still has her. Slim has some feelers out and I want to call him first to see if any of his contacts have reached back out yet. So, I go up to the bedroom after Riley got our laundry out of there and pull my phone out.
“’Lo?” I hear Slim’s voice answer the phone.
“It’s Gage. You find anythin’ more out yet?” I ask, getting straight to the point and not wanting to bullshit right now.
“I just got off the phone with a guy in another charter,” he begins, and I hear the shuffling of papers in the background. “With the information the nurse gave you, Butcher thinks he may know exactly where your girl’s daughter is. She’s about six hours from you and I’ll be ready to ride out with you in a day or two. I have to finish some business here before I can leave.”
“Are you sure it’s legit?” I ask, not wanting to get my hopes up.
“Butcher’s legit. He’s heading over to the lady now. Her old man was a member of the club that got killed a while ago. She stays away from the club now, but he’s goin’ to go check it out,” Slim tells me.
“Thank you, Slim,” I tell him, letting my hopes rise for the first time.
“Not a problem. I’ll message you when I hear back from him. He’s goin’ to try to get a picture of her, and I’ll send it straight to you.”
“Sounds good. You know that Riley will be headin’ out with me, right?”
“Wouldn’t expect any less. I’m goin’ to have Boy Scout drive an SUV so she can ride with him. We’re gonna need it if that’s her girl.”
We shoot the shit for a few minutes before hanging up. Now, I have a decision to make about whether or not to tell Riley or wait until Slim gets word back. I don’t want to keep this from her though. Hopefully I don’t tell her what I just found out and it turns out to be a bust. Again. I make my way downstairs and hear the music blaring in the kitchen. Walking in, I see her dancing to Outlaw In Me by Brantley Gilbert. For a few minutes, I simply stand there and watch her shake her ass while cleaning.
Finally, I adjust myself and walk up to Riley without her hearing me. I sneak in behind her and start dancing with her. Instead of getting pissed or screaming her head off, Riley starts grinding back into me. She’s playing a dangerous game right now, but she looks so carefree and happy in this moment. I don’t want to take her out of it. We continue on like this until the song is over with and the sweet torture is done with. This is the first time, other than when we’re on my bike, that I’ve had Riley’s body pressed against mine. It’s heaven and hell all rolled into one. Heaven because she makes me feel like I can conquer the world and see the light that shines bright. Hell because I know it’s going to be a while before I can get close to her. And, I’m bringing her into my world.
“Didn’t know you could dance,” she tells me, turning to face me and putting some
much-needed distance between us.
There’s no way she can’t see the lust and desire pooled in my eyes. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I respond, moving to the other side of the island so she can’t see the hard on I have for her.
“Did you need something?” she asks, turning her back to me and finishing the few dishes that were in the sink.
“Yeah. We need to talk about somethin’ and I’m tryin’ to figure out how to tell you without gettin’ your hopes up too much,” I tell her, finally deciding that I need to just come out and tell her about my conversation with Slim. “Can you sit down so we can talk?”
Riley immediately turns the water off and walks around the island to sit next to me while drying her hands. She starts wringing her hands together, letting me know that she’s nervous about what I have to say right now. Man, I really don’t want to get her hopes up for nothing. This is fucking hard. Harder than almost everything I’ve ever dealt with in a long time.
“I talked to Slim and we have a lead on where Shelby might be. It’s about six hours from here and a club member is goin’ to go visit the lady and see if it’s her. Butcher is supposed to be gettin’ a picture of her to send back to Slim. You’re goin’ to need to go with us if it is her. Do you think Darcy will let you go for a few days?” I ask, trying to get everything out as quickly as possible.
She sits in stunned silence and takes a few minutes to process what I’ve just told her. I can see that she’s having an internal war about what to do with the information I just gave her. At this point, I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes. Finally, she turns to me and flashes a brief smile my way. “Can we wait and see if this Butcher guy can get a picture and go from there? If I know that it’s Shelby, I’ll talk to Darcy about getting time off. If not, there’s nothing to talk to her about and I’ll go about my days as usual,” she answers me, a quiet sadness gracing her beautiful face.
Pulling her onto my lap, I hold her close. She needs this as much as I do right now. “That’s fine beautiful. Why don’t I have Shadow get us some takeout and we’ll sit on the couch and watch a movie. It’ll help take our mind off of this for a little bit, yeah?” I ask her, letting her bury her face in my neck.
“Yeah, that sounds good. I don’t want to cook anything right now,” she responds, moving so I can pull my phone out and call him.
We’re sitting on the couch, not paying attention to the movie playing. Shadow brought us burgers and fries a while ago and Riley only picked at hers. She’s waiting for a picture to come through and jumps every time my phone goes off. I’m honestly ready to call Slim back and see if he’s heard anything from this Butcher guy. Just so Riley can have some sort of peace of mind. Before I can do that, my phone goes off again and she jumps.
I look at the screen and see that an image is coming through. Please, let this be a picture of a little girl that is Shelby, I think to myself. Pulling up the message from Slim, I see a picture of a beautiful baby girl. Turning the phone slowly toward Riley, I hold my breath and wait for her response. Within seconds of looking at the little girl, tears are pouring down her face. There’s a huge smile on her face and I’m hoping that it’s good news.
“Is this Shelby?” I ask her, needing to know the answer before we proceed any further.
Riley nods her head and doesn’t let go of my phone. She takes it with her and makes her way upstairs where I can hear her moving around in the bedroom. In a few minutes, she makes her way back down to sit with me on the couch placing a box between us. Opening the lid, she pulls out a stack of photos and searches through them until she finds the two she wants.
“These are the only few things I allowed myself to bring with me every time I ran, moved, or had to escape from Sam. Here is a picture of me when I was little,” she says, handing me the first picture. Looking between the two photos, the girls look almost identical. “Here’s the only thing I’ve had of Shelby since she was taken from me at the hospital.”
I’m looking between the two pictures and the one on my phone. This baby girl is definitely Shelby. Butcher came through and found Riley’s daughter. The smile on her face is one that I’ll never forget. For the first time since meeting her, Riley is truly happy and there isn’t concern, hopelessness, or defeat etched into her beautiful face. The light I usually see is now pouring from her and I’m glad that I get to be here to witness it. Now, it’s off to get her daughter and hope that there’s not a huge legal battle to get through before we can bring her home.
“Gage, I can’t bring her home!” Riley says suddenly, the look of defeat marring her features once more.
“Why can’t you bring Shelby home? Is there somethin’ I don’t know about goin’ on?” I ask, needing to know where her mind went to so suddenly.
“I don’t have anything for her here. She needs a crib, highchair, food, toys, bath stuff, clothes, everything. There isn’t one thing here that we can use for her,” she replies, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.
“Calm down Riley. We’ll get it all handled before we leave to go get her. Now, I think we need to call the lawyer and see what he recommends about bringin’ her home,” I respond, making a mental list of everything we’re going to need to get in the next day or two.
Riley nods her head and I can see her get up and grab a pen and paper from the table, along with her checkbook. She has another thing coming if she thinks she’s going to be the only one paying for this. I better call Crash and let him know what’s going on too. He’s been looking for Shelby and won’t need to anymore. Darcy is just getting back into the swing of things and I’m going to have to look into bringing someone in to help her while we’re gone. First thing is calling the lawyer though.
“Anderson, it’s Gage. Need some legal help. Can you come to me?” I ask, waiting for his response. He tells me that he can be here in fifteen minutes, so I hang up and let Riley know.
I look over Riley’s list as she goes up to put her box away, leaving the two pictures on the couch next to me. Glancing at the pictures and then the walls of the house, I decide that we’re going to fill them with pictures. Shelby and her mom will make this house their home and I will be included in that. There will be pictures of all of us gracing the walls before I’m done with it. It’s time to start making this a true home and not somewhere we hang out for a few hours a day before bed.
As Riley makes her way back down the stairs, there’s a knock on the door and she veers off to answer it instead of sitting back down. I don’t know that she honestly could sit still right this second with all the nervous energy flowing through her body. She’ll have to in order to find out what we need to do from Anderson. Whatever he tells her, we’ll get done as soon as we can so that there’s no issues bringing her back with us.
We all sit down, Anderson in the chair across from the two of us on the couch. I give him a run-down of what happened and how we found out where Shelby is. Riley hands him the two photographs and I pull up the picture on my phone to show him the strong family resemblance. Once he puts his pen down from writing all the information on one of his legal pads, he looks at Riley for a minute. I can tell the instant that panic sets in and I want to punch Anderson in his face for putting it there.
“You better tell us what that look is for,” I tell him, letting my voice go to a darker level than normal so he knows I’m not playing around.
“Well, there are a few things that you’re going to have to do before Shelby can come home,” he begins, looking at Riley and only sparing me a glance or two as he goes on to tell us what we’ll have to do. “The first thing you’re going to need to do is get a paternity test done to legally prove that she is your daughter. No judge will let that little girl go anywhere until she’s proven to be yours. Do you have a room for her? Everything that she’s going to need when she comes here? That’s going to be another thing that has to be done immediately. Finally, we’re going to have to file paperwork for emergency custody once we get the results of the test.”
>
“I have a room for her. Between now and when we leave to go see her, I’m going to buy what she needs. Do you need to see the room?” Riley asks, letting everything Anderson is saying sink in. “I can show you now and you can come back when we have everything. How long will the paternity test take?”
“I don’t need to see her room right now, we can wait until you have it furnished. Now, as far as the test goes, do we know if the person that has your daughter is going to cooperate? If she does, I can put a rush order on it and it can take seventy-two hours at least to get the results,” Anderson tells her.
“I don’t know anythin’ about this woman at all,” I answer for Riley. “I know she’s affiliated with a charter of the Phantom Bastards about six hours from here.”
Anderson nods his head and writes that information down with everything else he’s already made notes of. After talking for a little while longer, he leaves, and I can see Riley sink back into the couch. The weight of everything she has to do hits her and she’s exhausted. But, we need to talk to Crash, Trojan, and Darcy before I can take her up to bed. So, I send a message asking them to come over. Riley is going to need tomorrow off. Plus, I know she’s not going to leave her little girl behind. We’ll be gone for a little while until everything is sorted out.
Within a half hour or so there’s another knock on the door. I open it to see our friends standing there. Darcy is starting to look a lot better these days. Moving to the side, I motion them to come in and follow them into the living room. Riley is sitting on the couch and Darcy heads over to her friend’s side. I see them put their heads together and I imagine that she’s telling her about the situation with Shelby. Especially once I see the tears in her eyes.