by Erin Osborne
“I’m here with some friends. Think we need to talk, Carrie?” he asks, noticing her small baby bump.
Carrie turns her attention to us, so she doesn’t have to face Butcher another second. Panic and worry lace her voice and I don’t know what to make of the situation now. “I’ve talked to a Mr. Anderson and he’s stated that he wants a rush order put on the results of the test, is that correct?”
“Yes, please,” Riley answers in a shaky voice. “He said it should only take seventy-two hours to get the results back?”
“Yes. Did you leave a current number you can be reached at?” she asks, sparing a glance in Butcher’s direction where he leans against the door.
“Yes, we did,” my girl answers.
“I’ll call as soon as they come in,” Carrie tells us. “Now, the test itself is simple. I’m going to swab the inside of your cheek and then I’ll do the same thing to the little girl.”
Riley nods her head and sits down in the chair that Carrie motioned to. Shelby is sitting on her lap, taking in everything that’s going on around her. She watches as Carrie does what she has to with Riley and then opens her mouth when the nurse comes to her. Shelby does so good and sits completely still in her mother’s lap while the swab is in her mouth. It’s not until Carrie takes it away that she gets upset. Apparently, she thought it was a sucker or something and wants it back.
“It’s okay baby girl,” Riley tells her, turning her around to face her. “We’ll go get something to eat now.”
The three of us make our way back out to the main room and Riley makes sure with the secretary that nothing else is needed from us before we head back out to the SUV. We head back to the clubhouse, so Shelby can eat, and I can talk to the guys. I’m sure that Riley will want to do something more than just sit in the room we’re sharing while in Whitney Glen. Hopefully the guys can give me some ideas of things to do with the girls. I don’t care what it is at this point, just something to get us out of here for a while during the day while we wait for the results to come in. Even if we go to a park every day so Shelby can get out and play.
Chapter Six
Gage
THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED that we’ve been waiting for. Today we should be finding the results of the paternity test out. Riley didn’t sleep for shit last night and neither did I. We spent the time talking quietly as Shelby slept, had a few drinks, and talked some more. There’s been no repeat of the bathroom, other than I now help with Shelby’s bath. If I’m not needed, I usually sit by the door and talk to them as she plays in the tub. We’ve sort of gotten into a routine and it’s nice.
During the day, we usually go exploring around town and find things Shelby can do. So far, we’ve been to a park, the zoo, a fair, and took her out for ice cream. It turns out that she wanted to spend more time playing in the sticky, cold stuff than actually eating it. But, she had us both in tears from laughing at her. Shelby opens up a little more each day and it’s awesome to see first-hand. Riley is becoming more confident in herself as being a mom. There’s a new glow about her that I watch grow as they both learn and grow together.
So far today, Riley has been a basket case. Every time a phone rings, someone walks in the clubhouse, or certain people come in any room she’s in, she thinks that it’s going to be the results. I get where she’s coming from though. The wait is killing me too. Not because I want to go home or anything like that. My reasoning is that once she knows Shelby is her daughter once and for all, part of the weight she’s been carrying around will disappear. She’ll know that no one can take her daughter from her and that she is finally coming home for good.
Darcy and the guys have been calling on a daily basis too. They want to know what’s going on, so they keep checking on us. Riley and Darcy did a video call so that she could see Shelby and Darcy couldn’t be how much alike the two looked. She’s also been reassuring Riley that she can take all the time that she needs once we come home to get settled into a routine and find someone to watch her daughter while she works. I know this is a hard topic for my girl right now because she’s not going to trust anyone with Shelby for a long time. We’ll have to figure something out. I’ve thought about some of the more respectable club girls. That way if I’m at the clubhouse, Shelby can be there with me and I can work but still make sure she’s being taken care of and no one is going to hurt her. That’s honestly the only solution that I’ve been able to come up with so far. Hopefully Riley will go for it.
We’re sitting in the kitchen, giving Shelby her lunch when Butcher and Carrie walk in. Butcher doesn’t look too happy right now, but I can’t be concerned about him. I need to worry about the news that Carrie is bringing to my girl. She greets us and asks if she can sit down with us. Riley immediately tells her yes and stands up so that Carrie can sit at the table we’re occupying now. Butcher slides in next to her while I stand up to let Riley slide in on my side of the table. My girl can barely contain herself. Especially once Carrie pulls the big envelope out of her bag and slides it across the table to Riley.
Looking at me, Riley picks the envelope up like it is going to hurt her. In all honesty, the results of the news could hurt her horribly. On the other hand, it could be just exactly what she’s been waiting for all along. I look at her and take the package from her trembling hands.
“Let me do it for you,” I tell her, knowing that she’s not going to be able to get it done.
“Please,” she responds, folding her hands in her lap so no one else knows that they’re shaking as bad as they are.
I undo the clasp and break the tape so that we know that no one got inside and tampered with the results. I’m glad that Carrie did this for us. Flipping open the flap, I carefully pull the papers out of the envelope and look them over until I find the spot that I want. Riley is without a doubt Shelby’s mom. A huge smile breaks out over my face as I turn toward her I can tell that she’s holding her breath in anticipation of the results.
“We can go home now……with Shelby,” I tell her, letting her have a few minutes to digest the news herself.
“Are you serious?” she finally asks, holding her hand out so she can see the evidence for herself. “Oh my God!”
Riley throws her arms around me and squeezes as hard as she can. The excitement and unbridled happiness is radiating off of her. She’s practically pushing me out of the booth style seat so that she can get to her daughter. Shelby has been watching us and holds her hands up as Riley gets closer to her. Finally picking her daughter up, Riley is laughing as she spins them around in a circle and pulls her in to hold her close to her chest. Needing to capture this moment, I pull out my phone and take a picture so that we can have this as the first one that goes up on the living room wall. I’m going to surprise Riley with it and have it blown up. She’s not going to need a reminder of today’s events, but it will be nice to have this to see every day. It shows that you can’t ever take anything for granted. At least that’s what it shows me.
“I’m sure that you guys are goin’ to want to get on the road soon, but Grace has agreed to meet with you, Riley. She said she can be here in an hour. If that works for you guys?” Butcher tells us, letting Riley know that today is the day to finally put the past to rest and move on with her life.
“Thank you so much, Butcher,” she tells him. “For everything that you have given to me. This wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. Just take that little girl home and love on her the way that you’ve been doin’ all along. If you didn’t love her, you wouldn’t have been searchin’ for her to begin with,” he replies, pointedly looking at Carrie.
“Why don’t we get Shelby cleaned up from lunch and start gettin’ things packed up?” I ask, putting my attention on the girl that’s held it since the first time I saw her.
“Okay,” she answers and hands her daughter to me so that she can clean up the high chair that Butcher bought for the clubhouse. He told us that we could take it hom
e with us, but we told him to keep it here.
Once we enter the room, the dam finally breaks, and Riley lets the tears that she’s been holding in stream down her face. Riley is a strong woman, but everyone has their breaking point and she’s reached hers. She’s missed out on the last ten months of her daughter’s life. The things that she should’ve been there to see were stolen from her. She didn’t get to see her first smile, her first tooth come in, have the cuddles that were hers to have, the first time she crawled, or anything else. Sam stole that from her and I wish that I could bring him back to life to pay for this shit all over again. He didn’t suffer enough for all the pain he caused. Not just to Riley, but to each and every person he’s ever hurt.
“You want to change her and get her ready so that we can leave as soon as your talk is over with?” I ask, pulling Riley into my arms and using my free hand to capture the tears rolling down her face.
“Yeah. I’ll give her a quick bath and put her in something light, so she doesn’t get too hot in the SUV on the way back. Are Slim and everyone going back with us?” she asks, wanting to know what’s going to happen when we leave here.
“I don’t know yet. Either way, I’m in the SUV with you. Butcher is lettin’ us use a trailer and Slim will make sure that he gets it back,” I respond, pulling the bags out from under the bed so that I can start loading them.
One of the club girls here did our laundry yesterday so we have everything clean and ready to head home with. Even most of Shelby’s stuff is clean. Riley grabs an outfit for her little girl and makes her way into the bathroom. She leaves the door open so that she can call out if she needs any help. In the meantime, I pack everything in our bags and put them by the door, so I can grab them on our way out of here. Once they’re all by the door, I wander around the room to make sure everything of ours is packed up, and anything that we brought in here is put away or thrown out.
“Gage, you want to grab me a towel please?” Riley asks a little while later.
I grab the towel she left on the bed and head into the bathroom with her. Riley has stripped her tank top off, so it didn’t get soaked. Stopping dead in my tracks, I can’t help but stare at her. She’s slowly killing me when she does this shit and I don’t think she even has a clue about what she truly does to me. Handing her the towel, I make an excuse about needing to talk to Slim and head out of the room. One of these days very soon, I’m not going to be able to stop myself from acting on the lust and want that fills my body every time she’s near me.
Riley
The last hour has gone by quicker than I’d like. It seems that Butcher told me Grace would be here in an hour or so and in the span of a few minutes, I’m being told that she’s here. I know that’s not rational or possible, but I’m so nervous and that’s the way that my mind is working right now.
I grab Shelby and Gage follows us out the door. As we get to the main room of the clubhouse, I see Butcher and Grace sitting at a table away from everyone else in the room. They’re talking, and I don’t want to interrupt, but I know that we need to have this conversation so that I can move on the rest of the way. There are just things I need to have answered for me so that I’m not constantly looking over my shoulder.
Butcher looks up and sees that we’ve entered the room. He stands up and motions me over to them while the rest of the men remain silent and continue to stand away from the table. My steps are slow with the dread filling the pit of my stomach, but I cannot help the feeling go away. I’m sure it’s just because I don’t know what to expect and I don’t like surprises when it comes to my daughter. Not after everything that I’ve been through.
“Riley, how are you doing?” Grace asks, watching as I sit in the chair opposite her with Shelby in my lap.
“I’m doing okay. How are you doing?” I ask, not wanting her to think that her feelings in this situation don’t matter to me.
“I’ve been better. But, she’s where she belongs now. I assume the test results proved that she is indeed your daughter?” she asks hesitantly, not truly wanting to know the answer.
“Yes. We just got them a little while ago. I can’t thank you enough for the things that you’ve done for her while she was in your care,” I tell her, knowing that it will never be enough.
“I did what any person in the situation would do. I loved that sweet little girl like she was my own, knowing that one day you would come looking for her,” she responds, a sad and defeated look covering her face.
“Is that why you were relieved that Butcher found out I was looking for her?” I ask, needing to know.
“Yes. The last ten months, I’ve spent every second of every day looking over my shoulder and dreading the day that you would come here. But, I don’t have to feel that way anymore. I’m honestly tired from all the worry,” Grace tells me, a small smile gracing her beautiful face.
“How did Sam come to bring you my daughter?” I ask, the question burning a hole in my brain as I try to piece this together.
“He didn’t bring her to me. Sam, the lying scumbag bitch, gave her to my sister. She’s a junkie and did whatever Sam wanted her to do. Carol knew that she was in over her head and dropped the baby off to me when she was only a few days old. I’ve had her ever since,” she tells me, knowing I need to know this information.
“Is anyone going to come looking for my daughter now?” I ask, worry beginning to take over my body.
“No. I haven’t seen or heard from anyone since I got her.”
“Did you ever try to locate me? Find out who I was to give my daughter back to me?” I ask, needing to know what her true intentions were.
“In the beginning, I can honestly say that I didn’t. That’s because I was still mourning the loss of the love of my life, and then I had her to look after and take care of. After a few months, I tried to contact the hospital, but I didn’t know any information that would help me find out who you were. At the time, I still blamed the club for my husband’s death, so I didn’t ask them,” Grace tells me, giving me an honesty that I didn’t expect.
“The only other thing I have to know is whether or not you’re truly going to be able to walk away from my daughter. Are you going to fight me for her? Try to take her back when I’m not looking?” I ask, another burning question.
“I will walk away from your daughter because she isn’t mine to fight for. I was just her keeper for a little while,” Grace tells me, tears starting to run down her plump cheeks until they drip on the table before her. “My husband and I couldn’t have kids of our own. She filled a void even though I knew it was only temporary. So, no, I won’t fight you for her, I won’t take her from you, and I’ll deny knowing where she is if anyone ever stops and asks me about her.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell her honestly. “Would you like to spend some time with Shelby before we go home?”
Grace looks at me for a minute before nodding her head yes. She’s hesitant and acts like she doesn’t believe that I’m giving her this gift. So, I don’t hold back as I hand my daughter over to the woman that acted as her mother for so many months. I wish there was something else that I could do to help her out, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. Something will come to me and I’ll have Gage talk to Butcher about making it happen.
Looking around, I see Gage over talking to Butcher and Slim. The three of them look to be in a serious discussion right now and I can’t imagine what it’s about. As if sensing me looking at him, Gage looks up until our eyes meet and a sexy smirk appears for the briefest second before he turns back to the men standing before him. Right now, I can watch him and see the way that he handles himself. It’s almost as if he commands attention and respect when he’s in a room. There’s no second-guessing himself or a lack of confidence on his part. I think that’s part of what draws me to him. Even though I don’t think that anything will come of it, I wouldn’t mind having one night with him. Just to see what it’s like when the person you’re with truly cares about you
. And I know he does care without a doubt. It’s in all the little things he does for me and for my daughter the last few days. I don’t know what I’ll do when he’s not around anymore.
“Thank you for letting me have a few minutes with her,” Grace tells me, handing Shelby back to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to find out who you were or where you were.”
“You did what you could with the little bit of information you had. I’m not mad at you and I don’t blame you. I will keep in touch, if you like. That way you can see how she’s doing for yourself and watch her grow up,” I tell her, wanting her to know that I’ll do what I can to help her through this.
“I would really like that. Thank you, Riley,” she replies, standing up and looking over at Butcher before leaving the clubhouse.
For a few minutes, I don’t move. I sit in the chair and look at my daughter. Now, we can move on and go home. There’s no reason to have any fear that anyone is going to come after her or me. We can live a quiet life without any worries. My only worry is that I’ll do right by Shelby and figure out how to move on without Gage. It’s going to be hard, but I’ll do it. I need to make it on my own. Now, I just have to figure out how to tell him that.
We’ve been on the road for a few hours now. Shelby is being very good with being in her car seat. She’s played with some of the small toys we packed and now she’s sleeping soundly. I chose to sit in the back with her when we left so that she wasn’t alone. I’m not always going to be able to do this, but it’s nice that I get to for her very first long car trip. Gage keeps looking at me through the rearview mirror, but I can’t seem to look at him. The more I think about everything, the more I know that it’s true that I can’t be with him. There’s too much going on in my life to warrant being with a man like Gage. He needs a woman that can be by his side no matter what and I’m going to be learning to be a mom to a toddler and how to work at the same time. There’s only so much of myself I have to give and it’s not enough for him.