by Erin Osborne
As soon as we get back to Dander Falls, I’m going to have to talk to him. This is not going to be an easy conversation, or one that I necessarily want to have. I can’t stand by and watch him wait around for me though. It’s not right or fair to anyone involved. My heart is already breaking at the thought that he won’t be around to help me the way he has been. It’s going to be hard as fuck to leave him alone, but I have to.
“You okay, beautiful?” he asks, breaking my train of thought about him.
“I’ll get there,” I respond, not wanting to tell him right now what’s going through my mind.
“What will help you do that?” he asks, concern etching his handsome face.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Please Gage, I need to think about what to say and how to say it,” I plead with him to let the topic drop for now.
“You can get the thoughts that are in your head out. You’re not pushin’ me away, beautiful. I’m not leavin’ your side and I’m not goin’ anywhere. I want to be with you and Shelby and it’s goin’ to happen. If it takes days, months, or years, I don’t care,” he tells me, taking his eyes off the road long enough to look in the rearview mirror.
“It won’t work, Gage. I’m going to be too busy to concentrate on you and getting to know you. Please know that I’m not trying to hurt anyone, but I don’t think this is going to work out at all,” I respond, having this conversation even though it’s the last thing I want to be doing while we’re trapped in a car.
“Neither one of us know that it will, or won’t, work. We’re goin’ to take the time to figure it out as we go. I’m goin’ to be there to help you with your daughter and we’re goin’ to climb into bed together at night. I will show you one way or another that you are what I want and need. Stop lettin’ the doubts creep in and take over your mind,” he says, his voice full of confidence and the strength that I know he possesses.
Since I don’t want to continue on with this conversation, I don’t say anything in response. Instead I look at my daughter and let my focus be trained on her. Even though she’s sleeping right now, I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her for very long. I don’t know how this is going to work when I have to be back at the salon. I’ve thought about talking to Gage about it, but it’s time for me to stop relying on him. I’m a big girl and I need to start acting like it. Yeah, I’ll need help along the way, but that doesn’t necessarily need to be from Gage. There are plenty of other people that I can ask in place of him.
With my idea in place, I begin to relax back into the seat and place my hand gently on Shelby’s leg. Even if I manage to fall asleep, I’ll still be touching her in some way. We still have about four and a half hours to get home if we don’t make any stops. I don’t know what the plan is and I’m not about to ask. So, I’ll sleep while I can and hope that Shelby doesn’t think when we get home in the middle of the night that it’s play time. If she does, I’ll just have to nap while she sleeps during the day. I’m not going to complain one bit.
Too bad I didn’t know the trouble that was about to wreak havoc on our small world. The people that I want as my friends are about to be ripped from me and I may not have a chance to get them back again. If only I wasn’t trying to damn hard to push Gage away. He’d see the trouble coming from a mile away.
Chapter Seven
Riley
WE’VE BEEN BACK IN DANDER FALLS for a few days now and my plan to push Gage out isn’t working so well. No matter what I do, he tells me that he knows what I’m doing and goes about his business. He’s in my bed every single night, he helps me with Shelby, and if I have to go anywhere, he’s right by my side. On one hand, I appreciate the effort he is showing. But, on the other hand, I’m annoyed that I can’t seem to shake him. And even more annoyed that I don’t really want to shake him. I want him there with me every day to share in the moments that we have with Shelby and when I just need a minute to myself. I’m at war with myself every day.
We’re getting ready to go out for the day when there’s a knock on my door. Gage tells me that he’ll get it, so I can finish getting dressed and then get my daughter changed. He won’t tell me where we’re going, so I’m dressing in a pair of shorts and a tank top. Throwing my hair up in a messy bun, I finish getting ready and make my way into Shelby’s room. She’s sitting in the crib, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. As soon as she sees me, a smile lights her little face up. Her blond curls are in disarray surrounding her chubby little cheeks.
“Beautiful, there’s someone at the door for you,” Gage tells me, lifting Shelby from my arms and cradling her to his chest. “She says she’s your sister Tammy.”
For a minute, I stand there and do absolutely nothing. I haven’t seen anyone from my family in about ten years. If not longer. There’s no reason for her to be here and I don’t know why she would be. We weren’t close when I lived with my parents and did nothing but fight. Either something has happened to someone in the family, or Tammy wants something. I’m not even sure right now that I want to see what’s going on, but I guess I have to.
“I’ll be right back. Let me see what she wants,” I tell him, letting him know without words that I really don’t want to go out there.
Walking through the house, I don’t move fast. I take my time and make her wait as long as I can. Finally, knowing that I can’t stall any longer, I make it into the living room of my small home and see her looking through things. Tammy has always been one to do what she wants and take what she wants. It doesn’t matter to her about anyone standing in her way, she just crushes them. This should be good.
“What do you want, Tammy?” I ask, startling her so she turns to face me. Something seems off as I look at her face, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. It has been a long time since I’ve seen her.
“I can’t just come see my sister?” she asks, trying to feign innocence when that’s that last word I’d use to describe her.
“No. We’ve never been close, and it’s been forever since I’ve laid eyes on any one of you. Why now?” I ask, needing to know her answer.
“I thought that I’d stop by and check on you. Is that so wrong?” she asks, once again trying to act innocent when I know that’s the last thing in the world she is. “So, wanna fill me in on who the hottie is that answered the door?”
“He’s a friend. And none of your concern,” I tell her, not bothering to keep the cattiness out of my voice.
“You have friends?” she asks, letting the venom lace her voice while sounding confused about me having friends. “Since he’s nothing more than a friend, I wouldn’t mind taking a turn with him.”
Tammy is trying to get to me and I’m not going to let her, I can’t. Gage is so much more to me no matter how hard I try to push him away or lie to myself about what I want with him. She will not have the satisfaction of knowing that he means something to me. That will just make her go after him harder. She mows down anyone in her path to get what she wants. When it comes to what I want, she takes extra pleasure in knowing that she’s taking something from me. So, Gage can’t let on that there’s more going on between us than just being friends. Even if we haven’t come to terms with what we are yet.
“Where are you staying?” I ask her, wanting her to leave so I can get my feet planted firmly back under me. “I think it’s time you head on over there.”
“I’m staying with you,” she tells me, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
“No, you’re not. I don’t have room for you here. And, I don’t want you here. So, I suggest, you get your shit and take it to the hotel or something,” I tell her, standing my ground.
“Oh, sister, you have claws now. How cute,” she responds, patronizing me.
Before either one of us can say another word, Gage comes around the corner with Shelby in his arms. My sister’s eyes bulge out of her head as she looks back and forth between the two of us. “Like Riley said, there’s no room for you here. If you go down the road a mile or so there’s
a motel that you can stay at. Riley will contact you when she’s ready to see you again. In the meantime, I don’t want to see your face around her again.”
“This is a family matter and doesn’t concern you,” Tammy responds, letting her eyes roam Gage from his feet to the top of his head and finally back to his face. “Now, I will be staying here. In fact, I think I’ll take your bedroom, Riles. If you’ll show me the way, I’m tired and want to go to bed. Make sure the brat doesn’t wake me up.”
“That’s it!” I scream out, startling everyone in the room. “Get your shit and get the fuck out. I don’t give a fuck where you stay, but it won’t be in Dander Falls. I want nothing to do with you. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and make your life there. It’s not anywhere near me.”
“This isn’t over, Riley. I will be back, and you will do what I say, or you’ll pay. Or maybe that adorable little baby girl will pay for you,” she threatens, picking her bag up and making her way toward the door.
Gage follows her and slams the door in her face, making sure that it’s locked tight before he makes his way back over to me. Now, I’m shaking, and I can’t stop the fear that’s running through my veins at Tammy’s threat. Reaching out for Shelby, I take my daughter and hold her close to me. I need to know that she’s still with me and safe in my arms. Looking up at Gage, I can see the confusion and questions lingering in his eyes. Right now, I don’t have the energy to answer them though. So, I walk away and leave him standing in the living room.
At first, I think he’s going to follow me. But after a few minutes, I hear the door click shut and lock behind him. I don’t have to wait long to hear his bike rumble to life and him taking off. Within a few minutes, I hear another bike stop out front, but no one comes to the door or inside the house. Must be he left and isn’t coming back, but still wants someone looking after us. This is what I want after all. Maybe now he realizes that I wasn’t kidding about being too much drama and mess for him to want to be with.
Waking up the next morning after a fitful sleep, I find myself still in bed with my daughter. Gage is nowhere to be found and a wave of uneasiness washes over me. Yes, I wanted him to back off and realize that he deserves someone so much better than me, but it hurts to know that he’s finally doing that. I hope that he finds his happiness and true love. Gage is definitely one man that deserves to have everything he wants and more.
The last few days have been busy with Shelby and me trying to find a routine that works for us. Keegan and Skylar have been calling me to find out how things are going. Yes, I did break down and called them to let them know what has been happening. Keegan is over the moon with excitement that I have Shelby back and wants to come for a visit as soon as Rage will let her. She wants to come stay a week or so, and we both know it’s going to take an army to get him to let her leave for that amount of time. All the girls want to make a trip down to see us and meet my daughter. It warms my heart to know that I have these amazing women in my life.
Darcy has been working at the salon and stopping over as often as she can. When she’s here, I get to take a hot bath, or shower, and get somewhat refreshed. I’m so busy with Shelby that I usually take a two-minute shower right before I fall into bed. Darcy and the guys love spending time with her. Crash and Trojan usually make a store run for me while they’re here and it has helped me out more than they know. I’ll never be able to thank them for the help they’ve given me.
I still have yet to hear anything from Gage. Every day that goes by, another little piece of my heart shatters away. When my phone rings, someone knocks on the door, or I hear the rumble of a bike my thoughts immediately turn to the man that captured my heart without even thinking. The pain that he just went away without a word is what kills me the most. I don’t think anything will ever be the same between us. Not if he can just up and leave without a word. Keeping a guy here to watch over Shelby and me isn’t the same as picking up and moving on. If that wasn’t what was happening, he would’ve sent a message, called, or stopped by in the last few days.
But, I have to move on and get on with life without him. He did what I wanted, and I have no one to blame for that but myself. Shelby has been keeping me entertained and I love spending every second of everyday with her. She is what keeps me going. But, I know my time is coming to go back to work. I won’t be able to afford the house and everything she needs if I’m not working. So, I need to start looking into finding a babysitter. Just as I go to make a call to Darcy and see if she has any ideas, there’s a knock on my door. I’m not expecting anyone, so I have no clue who it could be.
Looking through the peephole, I see that Tammy is standing on my doorstep. Steel is making his way to the porch and I can see the scowl on his face from here. Before he gets to her, I fling the door open, glad that Shelby is sleeping right now. She looks at me like I’m the scum on the bottom of her shoes. Steel looks like he’s ready to murder her, but he’s not going to take it that far. Not yet anyway.
“What do you want, Tammy?” I ask, letting the contempt fill my voice with no attempt to hide it from her.
“I’m coming to see my favorite sister,” she says, shooting a slide glance at Steel to make sure that he hears her being nice to me.
“Really? I’ve never been you’re favorite sister. Hell, you’ve never been nice to me. And, let’s not forget my daughter is in the house. You know, the little girl you called a brat the other night when you were here,” I tell her, not really needing to remind her of what she said and about our lack of a relationship. “Now, you can leave before I have this man escort you away for me.”
“I think we need to spend some quality time together,” she responds, stepping closer to me. “There’s no need to get anyone else involved in this. I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“Riley, do you want her here?” Steel asks, looking between the two of us. “Or do you want her to leave?”
“I don’t want her here. There’s no reason for her to be here,” I tell him, standing in the doorway as I watch him grab her arm and start to drag her away from me. “Bye, Tammy. Have a nice life.”
“You’ll be seeing me before you know it. I will get what I want one way or another,” Tammy calls out to me, letting Steel take her away from my house.
I watch as Steel walks her over to the car that she’s been driving around. Things just don’t seem to add up. Tammy would never be acting like this toward me. We didn’t get along and weren’t close growing up, but she was never this hostile. Maybe it’s time to call home and find out what Tammy’s agenda is. If there’s anything going on that I need to know about.
Steeling my spine, I make my way back inside and close the door. I lock all the locks and walk around the house to make sure nothing has been left open or unlocked. I’m not going to be surprised by this woman. Whether it’s truly Tammy or not doesn’t matter to me, I need to find out what’s going on. So, after checking on my daughter, I walk back into the living room and settle on the couch before I pick up my cell phone and dial the one number that I haven’t called in so many years.
“Hello?” my mother’s warm voice answers the phone.
For a minute, I can’t think of anything to say to her. I left on such bad terms and I know my mom is the one hurt because of my decisions. But, if they knew the true circumstances, maybe they would’ve been more understanding. I didn’t tell them then, and I don’t know if I am going to be able to do it now. Because I was trying to hide what was happening to me at the time when Sam first made an appearance in my life, my dad and I got into a huge fight and we’ve never made amends for that. There have been so many times that I’ve wanted to pick the phone up and call home, but knew that I couldn’t do it. Too many years have gone by now and no contact has been made by either side.
“Mom, it’s Riley,” I finally respond, hearing her gasp on the other end of the phone line. “I’m sorry for everything, but I have a question. Why is Tammy here? How did she find me?”
“Riley, is i
t really you?” she asks, letting me hear the tears in her voice. “What are you talking about honey. Tammy hasn’t gone anywhere. She dropped the kids off to me this morning and should be here in a few minutes to pick them up. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine mom. I shouldn’t have called,” I tell her, letting the tears begin to flow down my face with the loss of my mom hitting me all over again. Out of every member of my family, my mom was always the one that was there for me no matter what kind of mess I found myself in.
“You call me anytime you want to sweetheart. We need to catch up. It’s been way too long since you’ve been home, and we miss you. We all miss you,” she says, sniffling once more. “Please tell me that you’ll keep in touch? I want to hear everything that you’ve been up to lately.”
“I’ll try to call again in a few days or something, mom. My daughter is waking up, so I’ve got to go for now,” I tell her, listening to the shock that I have a daughter take her over. “I love you mom and I miss you all.”
Before I can hear her response, I hang the phone up. I can’t hear her tell me that she loves me. The carefully constructed hold I’m hanging onto right now will evaporate and I’ll become more of a mess than I already am. Shelby isn’t waking up, I just said that so I could get off the phone. Calling home had been a mistake and I won’t be repeating it again. Right now, I know that my mom wants to be a part of my life, but I don’t know that the same can be said for my dad. If he doesn’t accept me being a member of the family, then he won’t let any of them have contact of any means with me.
Gage
Over the last few days, I’ve been busy as fuck. Ever since Riley’s sister showed up, I’ve had a gnawing feeling in my gut that something with her isn’t right. I left that night and haven’t been able to go back there. Riley’s been telling me that she wanted space and that I need to find someone a man like me needs by his side. She’s the one I want, and she’ll be the one that I have. It’s just going to take a little bit of time to get there.