Losing Her

by Cori Williams

  “Shut up, smart ass. The group’s splitting up.”

  “What? Why? What happened?” I scooted back in my chair, completely taken aback.

  “They’re all turning into old men, that’s what happened. But you definitely won’t hear me complaining. It means Colt will actually be home. I’ll actually have a husband. He’s gonna go crazy within the first week of being here with the rug rats.”

  “Wow, that’s…that’s a big change.”

  “I know, right? Riley I guess is trying to go solo, and Colt said something about Lawson being behind the scenes, whatever that means. Plus, I know he wants more time with Caiden. I’m surprised you haven’t heard from him yet.”

  My phone beeped and I glanced at my screen, seeing an incoming call from Lawson. “Well, his ears must’ve been ringing ‘cause that’s him.”

  “Alright, I’ll let you go.”

  I clicked over quickly before Lawson could hang up. “Hey, I hear you’re out of a job. How’s it feel to be a bum?”

  “Who you calling a bum? Surely it’s not me.”

  I laughed. “So this is big news, I’m honestly kind of shocked. What are you gonna do?”

  “Well, I’m starting by going house shopping. How’s your neighborhood?”

  “What?” I snorted. “I don’t think it’s quite in your price range. Are you really moving here? I thought you had an apartment somewhere, somewhere close to Caiden and Chloe.”

  “Yeah, but it’s never really felt like home, and I won’t be on the road anymore. I want something that’s mine. My parents are always travelling, so I don’t need to worry about them, they’ll visit wherever I land. I’m still sorting out the details on Caiden with Chloe. We’re figuring things out.”

  “So you’re really looking here?”

  “I’m planning on it. Is that alright with you?”

  “More than alright! I’d love having you around!”

  “Good, then you can help me go house shopping. How soon can you be ready?”

  “Well, let me check my schedule for the week and then I’ll get back to you.”

  “Are you dressed right now?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “Okay, good. Come out to your driveway and let’s get this show on the road.”

  “You are not in my driveway.” I jumped up from my computer chair and ran to the front window, whipping the curtains open. Sure enough, his truck was sitting there and he stuck an arm out the window and casually waved. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I grabbed my purse from the counter and sprinted out the door. He met me halfway on the sidewalk and crushed me into a hug.

  ”I’ve missed the hell out of you, Cam,” he murmured into my hair before setting me back down on my feet.

  I shook my head, grinning. “I’ve missed you too. I can’t believe you’re really here. And the band is done. It’s crazy! You’ve been a part of it since we met. I’m not so sure we can be friends anymore now that you aren’t a superstar.”

  “Please,” he rolled his eyes. “If anything, you’d think we would be better friends since I’m not in the band anymore. Now you won’t feel obligated to listen to that…what do you call it,” he arched one brow, “country shit?”

  “Oh, whatever, you guys grew on me, you know that. Isn’t it gonna feel weird not having a guitar in your hands ninety percent of the time?”

  “I don’t know,” he tucked his hands in his pockets. “I mean, it’s not like I’m just going to stop playing, but I’m ready to have a life outside of music. I want to be with Caiden and I want to spend more time with my best friend,” he eyed me and I held up my hands.

  “Well I’m not going to argue with you that it’s a bad thing, just a big change, but do you really think you want to live here?” my nose scrunched, and he laughed.

  “You know I love this place and its small town feel. It’s one of the only places that I’ve ever been left alone for the most part. There’s no crazy fan girls here.”

  “Except for me of course,” I fluttered my eyelashes and switched into valley girl-mode. “O-M-G, I can’t believe Lawson Reynolds is going to be living in my town. It’s sooo crazy! I’m totally going to sneak onto his property to get his autograph.”

  “Yeah, whatever.” His lips twitched as he pushed away a smile. “Now can you be serious and help me out? I have a list here and some lock box codes. You ready?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  We drove from house to house, a couple of them being in my neighborhood just like he said, but then we came to the last house and we both looked at each other before we get out of the truck. This place was the one. It was secluded and sat off the road behind a forest of trees, but once you got to the clearing, it was breathtaking. It was modern, but at the same time had a classic farmhouse look with a wraparound porch and a wooden swing hanging from one end. The house was massive, exactly what Lawson was looking for, though I had no idea why he would need so much space for just him, and Caiden, occasionally.

  “I’m really liking this one, Cam,” he said as we walked slowly from room to room, flicking on lights and checking out closet space—and there was a whole lot of it. You could get lost in that house.

  “Caiden would be in Heaven here, totally the perfect place for hide and seek.”

  “Right,” he scratched at his head. “That was my number one priority on the list that I was looking for.”

  “Smart ass,” I stuck out my tongue at him. “But do you really need this much space? How the hell are you going to keep it clean?”

  He looked at me strangely. “I’ll get a housekeeper,” like it was a totally obvious thing. I guess it should have been. “And I plan on expanding my family someday.”

  “Really? So you want more kids?”

  “Of course, yeah. I just need to find the right woman for the job,” he added with a wink and I groaned, shifting on my feet. I didn’t want to think about someone doing that “job” for him, and the thought seemed to thicken the air with tension as I squirmed underneath the intense look he was giving me.

  “Well I hope that you find her,” I muttered before turning on my heel. “Oh look, there’s a walk in pantry. How fantastic!”

  “I thought I already did,” he whispered under his breath.

  Chapter 19

  Campbell

  “WHERE WERE YOU?”

  I pressed a hand to my mouth, gripping the door frame with the other. “Jeez, Conner. You scared the hell out of me.” I flipped on the hall light to illuminate the darkened house. “Why aren’t you at work?”

  “Is that why you were out? Because I was working? What the hell else do you do when I’m at work?”

  I stumbled slightly, grabbing onto the couch for leverage. The few drinks that I’d had while I was out with Lawson were making my brain fuzzy, and really was not in the mood to deal with this. “I just went to dinner with Lawson. You should’ve called, you could’ve met up with us.”

  “Right,” he snapped in a dry tone. “Like I’d wanna do that. You seem to never have time for me anymore since Lawson moved here.” It had been a month since Lawson had completely moved into his new house and it was great having him around. Our relationship was just…easy.

  “What? I’ll always make time for you, Conner. But I’m not a mind reader. You have to actually let me know when you’re off even though you were scheduled.”

  He scowled when I dropped down in front of him. “Are you drunk?”

  “Maybe just a little.” I held up my finger and thumb to demonstrate how much, and he shook his head.

  “I feel like I’m losing you to him.”

  “Conner don’t be ridiculous.” I rubbed at my head, feeling a migraine coming on; and to think, I had been so stress free just mere minutes ago.

  “Ridiculous? When was the last time we did something alone? When was the last time we had lunch together? When was the last time we had sex?”

  I squinted at him, trying to remember, and the guilt ate away at me when I
couldn’t. “That has nothing to do with Lawson. I’ve just been really busy.” It was the truth, I had been. Since Lawson had moved here, I’d had a ton of work, thanks mainly to Lawson. He had decided to take a backseat in the country music world and instead, was managing a few up and comers. When he asked if I wanted to work on the marketing side of things, all still from home, I jumped at the chance.

  Conner grunted, mumbling something.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered before sliding my hands up his pants. “Let me make it up to you. You must’ve been lonely.” His lips twitched slightly as I unbuckled his jeans and he sat up straighter, sighing when I gripped his dick in my hands. “I would’ve rather been home with you if I had known, I promise,” I told him before licking up his entire length. He grunted when I fully inserted him into my mouth, and both of his hands landed on the back of my head, forcibly pushing me down.

  Conner could be rough sometimes and most of the time I liked it, but a panic set in as he continued to push harder. I gagged and squeezed his thighs, pushing my nails in to try to get him to let up, but he wouldn’t. Saliva was running down my chin and I pushed my eyes closed while he used me like a rag doll, I didn’t even have to make any movement.

  He grunted, finishing in my mouth and my shoulders sagged. I was relieved it was over, whatever that just was. I looked up, expecting to find a smile, even a hint of one, but his jaw was tight and he pushed to his feet, knocking me backwards, my head banging into the edge of the glass coffee table and I winced in agony at the sharp sting. “Don’t forget who your damn husband is. I won’t put up with my wife running all over town with someone else. It makes you look like a fucking whore. Just because your own mother’s one doesn’t mean you need to follow in her footsteps.”

  The door slamming barely sounded in my ears. My whole body was in shock and I was frozen to the floor, trying to process what just happened.

  * * *

  I thought Lawson was the problem with my marriage, so I decided to remove him from my life, no matter how hard that was. I wasn’t going to let my marriage fail—I was not my mother. I wasn’t going to give up so easily.

  But things with Conner weren’t changing, and were only getting worse—Because he was turning into my father. Drink after drink, night after night, day after day. It really didn’t matter what time it was, there was always a drink in his hand, except for when he had to work, again, he was just like my dad. I always wondered after all these years, how my dad had managed to keep his job and somehow Conner had figured out the same thing; but his job was a lot more dangerous than my dad’s. I didn’t know what to do. I was in a constant state of fear, both when he was home and when he was at work.

  “Campbell,” my name was slurred as it travelled through the dark house, making the skin on my arms prickle. Even without seeing him, I could tell he’d been drinking. I had searched every inch of our house, removing bottle after bottle, but somehow, even after taking away his car keys so he couldn’t go to the store, he managed to find something. I set down the grocery bags on the kitchen countertop and cautiously headed towards the bedroom where I could still hear him muttering something. Sure enough, when I pushed open the door, he was sitting in our recliner, sprawled out with a bottle in his hand—a near empty bottle. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned against the door frame, squinting at the man I married. He looked like a complete stranger now, his dark eyes glazed over, a scraggly beard since he hadn’t shaved in at least a week.

  “Conner. Why?”

  “Why, what?” He waved his free hand in the air. “Where the hell were you? I woke up and you were gone.”

  “I went to the grocery store, I didn’t think you would wake up.”

  “I’m sure you didn’t,” he snarled, jumping to his feet and closing the distance between us. “You were with him, weren’t you?” he narrowed his eyes, grabbing ahold of my arm and squeezing it painfully hard. He sniffed at my neck, smelling for evidence of Lawson, I supposed. God, that was exhausting. How much longer could I really handle this—both mentally and physically?

  “I was at the grocery store, that’s it, Conner. Would you like to see my receipt? How about we go outside and check my odometer? Do I need eye witnesses?”

  “Don’t,” he growled, raising a hand to…I don’t know what, hit me, something, would he really do that? It was possible. Anything seemed possible with him now. I twisted out of his hold and dodged his hand that I was pretty sure was heading in the direction of my face. He ended up slamming it into the door frame and howled in pain. “Fucking bitch.”

  “Oh, what? Was that somehow my fault too? You can’t keep blaming your problems on me! I’m the one trying to help you.” The anger at this whole situation was boiling up inside of me and letting loose. I knew there was no sense in arguing with him—he wouldn’t remember it in the morning—but I couldn’t keep everything bottled up inside or I was likely to explode.

  “Help me?” he spat, laughing dryly. “Then quit whoring yourself out around town. I know that you were with him.”

  “No, I wasn’t,” I replied through gritted teeth. He grabbed at me again and I pushed at his chest, trying to release his hold, but he didn’t budge. He was too strong, and he knew it.

  “Quit fucking back talking me, Campbell. And quit the God damn lying. I know everything that you do. You need to start acting more like a wife.”

  “How—” I started, but I was cut off when he threw me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, ripping my tank top over my head and pawing at my breasts. “Conner, stop. We need to talk about this. I don’t want to do this when you’re upset and when you’ve been drinking. This isn’t helping.”

  “I’m just fine baby, no one’s upset and I barely had anything to drink. You need to relax, Campbell and do what you’re told. Then everything would be just fine, I wouldn’t have to do this,” he squeezed at my breast, his fingernails painfully digging in. I slammed my eyes shut, squirming underneath him.

  “Conner,” I whimpered. “You’re hurting me, please stop.”

  “Hurting you?” He laughed, letting go of the sensitive flesh. “You’re hurting me every day, Campbell. All I want is you, all the time. Why can’t you want the same?”

  “I do,” I soothed. “That’s all I want, Conner. Can you please let me up?”

  He leaned back, as if he was considering it for just a second, so I scrambled out from underneath him. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He grabbed at my ponytail, yanking me back towards him and I screamed at the pull. “Fucking stay.” He pushed me forward, slamming my side into the wrought iron bed post and my bone felt like it had been cracked in half. Tears were now streaming down my face from the immense pain radiating throughout my entire body. I folded in half, clutching at my side. Conner came up from behind me, causing me to flinch.

  “Baby I’m sorry, are you okay?” he grazed my side gently with his fingers, but I smacked it away.

  “Don’t. Touch. Me. Get out, Conner. Please just get out.” I panted out between pained breaths.

  “Baby I’m so sorry, I just…Okay. I’ll give you a minute, Cam. I love you.”

  I didn’t attempt to move until I heard the door click shut, and when I finally did, I crawled up into bed, bringing my knees up to curl into a ball. The pain had subsided, but the emotional betrayal had only just begun.

  What was I going to do?

  Chapter 20

  Lawson

  THE PHONE RINGING continually in my ear was enough to send me into a rage. The first time it happened, I thought nothing of it. The second time, no big deal. But then again and again. It had been two months since I had seen or heard from Campbell. Two months too long. Not that I hadn’t tried. I was starting to get pretty desperate.

  You would think I would have been able to walk up to her house, knock on the damn door, and get her to answer, but not even that worked. I had even tried having Tess call her, but she had no luck either. It was like Campbell had disappeared off the face of
the earth. The only reason I knew she hadn’t was because of the work she had continued to do for me and the cold, formal emails she would send when she needed to get in contact with me.

  Something was wrong. I had done something and I didn’t know what.

  It was killing me. I had been away from her so long and now that I was back, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

  “Hey Lawson, how’s it going?” Mr. Shaw greeted me from the front counter, already reaching for the coffee pot. A steaming mug was slid in front of me as I sat down.

  “Not much,” I sighed, taking a sip of my black coffee before pressing backwards into my chair.

  He didn’t even bother setting a menu in front of me, just looked at me with raised, graying eyebrows. “The usual?”

  “Yup, I’m no man of mystery, I guess.”

  “Well I don’t know if that’s completely true, son. I do know that you’ve been coming in here looking pretty glum lately and I’m suspecting it has something to do with our girl.”

  I groaned¸ taking another sip of my coffee.

  “See, I figured I hit the nail right on the head. You two have a little tiff? That husband of hers not like having you around with those puppy dog eyes you give her? Can’t say I blame him much.”

  “We’re just friends, or rather, we were.” I scratched at the counter, my eyes narrowing when he made an unconvinced sound. “Look, old man, stay out of it.”

  “Alright then.” He threw his hands up in the air. “I guess you wouldn’t want to know that she’s coming in to pick up a carryout order around, 11:30, huh?”

  “What?” I sat up, looking at my watch. As far as I knew, Campbell hadn’t left her house what so ever. Now, it seemed she had just been avoiding me, specifically. 11:30, that gave me about an hour to figure out what the hell I was going to say to her when I saw her.

  I finished up my breakfast, paid my bill, and thanked Mr. Shaw for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. “Anytime, Lawson. Anytime,” he called after me as I headed out the front entrance. There was no way in hell I could be there when Campbell showed up, she would surely bolt as soon as she spotted me. I guessed the element of surprise was what I needed.