Deal-Breaker

by Siri Caldwell

  “How much did you have to drink?”

  “Not that much.”

  Rae smoothed her hand over Kaoli’s flushed forehead in an awkward attempt to be soothing. Kaoli didn’t tell her to stop, so she stroked her again, amazed at her own daring. Kaoli nuzzled her hand, and Rae closed her eyes, overwhelmed by how perfect it felt. She didn’t like that Kaoli had made herself sick, but taking care of her was heaven.

  “Can you do me a favor?” Kaoli asked.

  “Anything.”

  “Can you go see if Griffin is waiting for me outside? He’s probably standing by the door worrying about me, thinking he’s not allowed to come into the girls’ restroom or something dumb like that. Can you get him? Please?”

  Rae released Kaoli’s hair, stunned.

  Kaoli didn’t want her help. She wanted Griffin. Griffin, who had stayed put, hanging out in the gym and joking with his buddies about girls and alcohol while Rae ran after her. Griffin, who was totally oblivious. Not Rae, who was right here, being her friend. She backed out of the stall, bumped into the door, banged into the walls of the confined space.

  Kaoli wanted Griffin. The shock lodged in her chest as she stumbled out of the restroom. How could she want a boy when she had Rae? Rae would do anything for her. And Griffin, who did nothing, was the one she wanted?

  Rae blinked herself back to the present. She’d been wrong about Kaoli, but that had been years ago. And Jori was not Kaoli.

  Rae ran her fingers through her hair and watched as Jori raced Baylee to the edge of the pool and boosted her onto the tile, then hauled herself out with one fluid motion, ignoring the stepladder that Rae didn’t use, either, but that normal people did‌—‌normal people who didn’t have Jori’s athleticism and strength. Baylee didn’t wait. The moment her feet hit the ground she escaped on fast little legs and hugged one of the heavy stone planters that overflowed with white roses that were gorgeous in a look‌-‌but‌-‌don’t‌-‌touch kind of way, their hidden thorns lying in wait for anyone unwise enough to get too close. Baylee swung one leg onto the lip of the planter to scramble up but couldn’t quite make it, and her leg slid off.

  Rae started instinctively toward the child to keep her from getting hurt. If that thing toppled over on her…‌

  “Baylee, no.” Jori had a bit more difficulty weaving between deck chairs and people than her munchkin had, but she was closer, and she beat Rae there.

  Just as Jori reached her, Baylee pressed her face to a rose and took an exaggerated sniff. “Pretty.”

  “Don’t take that flower, Baylee. Leave it so others can enjoy how pretty it is.”

  Reluctantly, Baylee released the rose. Jori swung her around singing whee! until she got a giggling shriek out of her.

  Rae clutched the knotted ends of the drawstring at the drooping neckline of her cover‌-‌up and backed away. She wasn’t sure if Jori had even noticed her.

  “Rae. Don’t go,” Jori said.

  Okay, she had noticed her.

  “Cover your ears, Baylee.” Settling her daughter on her hip, Jori approached and angled in close. The little girl squeezed both hands to her ears and Jori overlaid one of them with her free hand, trapping it in place.

  Jori smelled of chlorine. Her wet hair dripped onto Rae’s shoulder as she spoke directly into her ear, her voice barely audible. “I should still be mad at you, but your cover‌-‌up turns me on.”

  Rae’s cheeks burned. “It does not.”

  Jori didn’t pull away. “Oh, but it does.”

  It would help if she could stop feeling the remembered rush of Jori’s bare thighs sliding underneath her, forcing her own legs wider. Maybe then she could think. Maybe then…‌

  But then Baylee became impatient and her fussing broke the spell. Jori rushed off with her daughter, and Rae finally released the terrycloth strings. Now that Jori was gone, she’d have a better chance of forgetting the sound of her gasping as she shuddered helplessly in her mouth.

  The problem was, she didn’t want to forget.

  Not that she had much choice. Her knee still hurt a little, and each time it twinged she was reminded of exactly what she’d done to overstretch it, how she’d straddled her and arched back and…‌

  She should have been more careful of her knee. She hadn’t wanted to, though. She had wanted to lose herself in the moment and not think about her problems and fill her mind with Jori so completely that there was no room for anything else.

  It had worked. For a while.

  And then reality came crashing down and Rae said things she shouldn’t have.

  Although Jori still seemed to be flirting with her, so maybe Rae hadn’t completely ruined everything. She hoped she hadn’t ruined everything. She didn’t understand why, because the kindest thing would be to walk away, but she couldn’t help feeling that if she did, she’d regret it forever.

  One of the clusters of women standing beside the pool broke apart and Rae noticed that Sierra was among them. A knot of familiar guilt stuck in her throat. Sierra had done so much for her, providing her with free housing and a pool to exercise in. She was glad she’d soon be able to free up her room in the lodge for someone else’s use.

  Sierra wandered over. “Holding up okay?”

  Rae nodded. Maybe Sierra could help her come to her senses. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  Rae swallowed. “Would you ever date someone bi?”

  Sierra’s eyebrows shot up and her arms sliced the air. “Hell, no.”

  Her response was so vehement that Rae rephrased. “I mean, if you were single, would you‌—‌”

  “I’m clear on what you meant.” Sierra dragged over two deck chairs and set one at Rae’s side, treating her like she was still injured even though she was perfectly fine. “Developed a crush on my water aerobics instructor, have we?”

  Rae dropped into the chair, too flustered to protest. “Is it that obvious?”

  Sierra positioned her own chair to face the pool and leaned back in the sun, way more relaxed than Rae was. “Pretty much.”

  “Is she really bi? Have you ever seen her with a man? I mean, Axel, sure. But that was a long time ago. So aside from him, does she really date men? She’s so disparaging, it’s hard to imagine why she’d want to have a relationship with one‌—‌unless she can’t help being attracted to them physically and she’s only in it for the sex.” The sex Rae had a feeling she wasn’t having. “Which would be completely bizarre, but…‌”

  I wanted you to be what I wanted you to be.

  She was doing it again. Rationalizing. Again. Wanting Jori to be a lesbian‌—‌a lesbian in denial, but close enough‌—‌instead of accepting her for who she was.

  “She was with Axel for two years, I think, if I remember correctly, but I doubt it was for the sex.” Sierra wrinkled her nose in distaste. “They’re still close. I could see her going back to him. I could also see her, long‌-‌term, with a woman. It’s a tough call. I’m not sure even she knows the answer.”

  “But if she doesn’t like them for their personalities and she doesn’t want to sleep with them, what does that leave?” Rae asked.

  “Whatever it is, you have a better chance of finding out than I do.”

  By seducing her, she meant. It was obvious from the look on her face. Great.

  “What does Jori have to say for herself?” Sierra asked.

  “Nothing convincing.”

  Sierra laughed. “Really? I would have suspected that she would say just about anything to get you into bed again.”

  “Again?” Rae protested. How did Sierra know, anyway? Had Jori told her?

  “Yeah, don’t pretend you haven’t already slept together. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

  “How does she look at me?”

  Sierra flashed a knowing smile. “You’re not denying it?”

  “How does she look at me?” Rae insisted.

  Sierra stared thoughtfully at her for a long time, her smile fading u
ntil all that was left was a small glimmer of sympathy. “Like no man will ever touch her again because the only person she wants is you.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  It was a good thing Baylee loved coloring books, because Jori had to study for finals. They were down in the yoga barn where Baylee could run around because they were both tired of being cooped up their room, but so far, all Baylee wanted to do was color, sprawled next to Mommy on a pile of yoga mats with Jori’s textbooks and notes spread on the floor and crayons rolling everywhere.

  “Look who’s here.”

  Rae’s voice drifted from the open doorway and jolted Jori from the chapter she’d been poring over. Rae was in dance clothes‌—‌when was she not?‌—‌and a pair of ballet slippers dangled from her fingers.

  “Are you here to play Twister?” Baylee asked.

  “Baylee,” Jori said. Rae was clearly planning to exercise.

  “I don’t think we have the game here,” Rae said.

  “I know how to make our own Twister,” Baylee said. “We have paper. Mommy, can I have some paper?”

  “Miss Peters might have things she needs to do.”

  “I’ll draw the circles,” Baylee said.

  “Another time, Baylee,” Jori told her.

  As Baylee ignored her and gathered her crayons, Jori pushed to her feet and picked her way through the debris field. “Baylee and I will camp out somewhere else.”

  “You were here first,” Rae said. “You’re staying.”

  “We were just leaving.”

  Rae pushed past her. Her ankle might have wobbled, but there was nothing unintentional about the way her breast nudged Jori’s arm, and there was no Baylee‌-‌appropriate explanation for why Rae’s sharp hipbone should make contact with anything.

  Jori caught her breath. Turned toward her touch. Ached to hold her and keep her wedged close, heat pressed to heat, until Rae confessed she hadn’t really meant those angry things she’d said in the middle of the night. But Rae had already moved away, and now wasn’t the time.

  “You get back to your books,” Rae said, as if nothing had happened. “Baylee and I have plans.”

  If Rae was offering to help out of guilt for how things ended at the hotel, there was no need. “Really, we were on our way back to the‌—‌”

  Rae turned her back on her. “Come on, Baylee.” Rae snagged a crayon off the floor and off they skipped to another corner of the barn, their footsteps echoing under the vaulted ceiling.

  Jori gave up. Baylee seemed excited and Jori did need to get some work done, so she tore some blank paper out of her spiral notebook for them, dropped it off in their corner, and settled back down with her books, sneaking occasional glances at Baylee to make sure she was behaving.

  What had Rae been thinking, brushing against her like that? Not that Jori was complaining, but she’d thought the I don’t date people like you accusations would have set their relationship back to a point where touching wasn’t going to happen.

  Rae had just been scared. Angry, yes‌—‌but angry was okay, because it meant there wouldn’t be any bad surprises down the road‌—‌the kind of surprises that came from thinking they’d never disagree about anything and then being unprepared for the truth.

  Maybe Rae had reacted so emotionally because she had feelings for her. Or maybe Rae was just emotional. Emotional wasn’t a problem, though, because Jori enjoyed building nerves of steel‌—‌as long as it was for the right payoff. And the right payoff might just be Rae.

  Rae‌—‌her bright, imperfect ray of sunshine‌—‌was playing an improbable version of do‌-‌it‌-‌yourself Twister that involved hopping like a frog and flapping like a butterfly and twirling like a horse‌—‌which Jori had to have misheard‌—‌she hoped‌—‌until Baylee knocked into her and they both collapsed on the floor, giggling.

  Rae couldn’t be that scared‌—‌not if she was here.

  When Rae finally said she had to go, Jori had gotten a lot more material covered than she’d hoped, and Baylee was so worn out she was sure she’d fall asleep early, freeing up even more study time later. Amazing.

  “Do you have to go?” Baylee asked Rae.

  “Unfortunately, yes.” Rae scooped Baylee up and set her down next to Jori.

  Jori drew Baylee into her lap to keep her from running off. “Remember to say thank you.”

  “Thank you,” Baylee said.

  “Thanks from Mom, too.”

  “Don’t even.” Rae swept the air in a dismissive gesture. “It’s the least I can do after all the time you’ve spent helping me with that dumb wedding dance.”

  “You don’t have to pay me back for that,” Jori said.

  Rae shook her head and waved goodbye.

  Baylee waved back. “Bye!”

  “Bye!” Rae said, waving again.

  Baylee waved harder, her whole body wiggling from the force of it. “See you tomorrow!”

  Jori cupped her hands around her mouth and joined in. “Or another time.”

  “Or another time,” Baylee said.

  Rae winked at them both and retreated toward the door, waving one last time.

  Jori hitched a shoulder and shook her head, smiling. “No pressure.”

  * * *

  Rae only had to put up with Griffin for one afternoon. He’d agreed to just one rehearsal, so he was learning all his steps today whether his memorization skills cooperated or not.

  As soon as they all reached the yoga barn, Kaoli made a beeline for the sound system, belting out the opening bars of “Alpha in Heels” while her fiancé stood awkwardly by the door.

  “Griffin, come on.” Kaoli doubled back to retrieve him, wiggling her hips and serenading him until he cracked a smile. Well, good. If Kaoli could charm him into staying relaxed for the rest of the day, this might work.

  With Rae taking Griffin’s role and Jori standing in for Kaoli, they demonstrated how Rae wanted Kaoli to spin, first one direction and then the other, away from her soon‌-‌to‌-‌be husband and then back into his arms. All Griffin had to do was stand there. He didn’t even have to remember to raise his arm because Kaoli knew her part and basically led herself into the spins, dragging his limbs where they needed to go.

  “Doesn’t my sexy hunk get to dance at all?” Kaoli asked.

  Rae knew what she meant. Not about Griffin being a hunk, but about the fact that he looked like a rigid bystander. A professional could make anything look good, even if he was doing nothing more than standing in one spot and leading his partner into her turns. But not Griffin. Having a big step of his own would force him to move his feet and get involved. Make him look like he was dancing.

  “Let’s make him twirl,” Kaoli suggested.

  Rae had toyed with that idea earlier, wondering with vicious satisfaction if Griffin would find it unmanly to spin, but ultimately decided against it because she wanted this to look good and she didn’t think he’d be smooth enough to pull it off. She and Jori had practiced it a few times, though, experimenting. It would be easy to put the discarded move back in.

  “Jori, do you remember how we did that spin?”

  “Sure.”

  Jori took her hand and Rae whirled away, demonstrating Griffin’s part. They started out perfectly, but as Rae rotated through the spin, she realized too late that she’d moved before Jori finished dredging up her memory of what to do, because Jori forgot to release her hold on her shoulder blade. Which meant that as Rae spun, Jori’s steady hand was now under her arm and now on the side of her breast and now on the front of her breast, the flat of her palm accidentally in firm, full contact with a part of her that wasn’t meant to be touched in public. And then gone.

  Rae’s jaw dropped in shock. And amusement. Had Kaoli seen? Had Griffin? Did Griffin think Jori was feeling her up on purpose? Was she feeling her up on purpose?

  “Sorry!” Jori laughed, not looking sorry at all. “That was unintentional.”

  Rae flushed. Unintentional or not, she could
still feel where Jori’s warm palm had trailed across her breast leaving aching lust in its wake. She wanted to grab her wrist and place her hand on her breast again. She belonged there. They should do all their dancing that way.

  In private.

  But they weren’t alone, so she got Kaoli and Griffin started on practicing the step on their own‌—‌with the hand in the proper place‌—‌and gathered Jori back into dance hold‌—‌the real hold‌—‌to review what came next.

  “Let’s fine‌-‌tune this,” she told Jori, pretending all she wanted was to avoid another hand‌-‌on‌-‌the‌-‌breast mistake, when really she just wanted to hold her hand and not ever let go.

  She loved partnering her. She’d danced all her life, but she’d never known the rush of pleasure that came from guiding her partner into the right position, or been overwhelmed by a sense of awe that a woman would move confidently into her arms, trusting her to lead her into the next movement, waiting for her to show her the way. She’d never known that holding her would make her feel so protective, or that feeling protective would feel so good.

  But their time together didn’t last nearly long enough, because it soon became apparent that the only way Griffin was going to learn was not by struggling with his critical girlfriend, but by working one‌-‌on‌-‌one with Rae while Jori split off to practice with Kaoli.

  “I can’t believe Kaoli asked you to go to all this trouble,” Griffin said, dragging his feet and eyeing the exit. Clearly what he really couldn’t believe was that he’d agreed to Kaoli’s plan to force him to dance in the first place. “Your skills are wasted on me.”

  Rae took his hand and showed him where to place his arms. She hadn’t expected him to be quite this civil, but then again, high school was a long time ago. “Just smile and try to make her look good. And don’t step on her.”

  Griffin nodded. “Heard the latest rumor?”

  “Which one?”

  “Seems you girls got into a screaming match because Kaoli won’t call off our wedding.” He bestowed an annoyingly superior smile on her. Maybe high school wasn’t that long ago. “Is that true?”