How To Save A Life

by Andria Large

  When I turn the corner of the block that Keenan’s is on, I see Ferris standing outside, leaning against the wall of the building. He’s wearing navy blue shorts and a red, short-sleeved, button-down shirt that is tucked into his shorts. His belt is white, giving him an American flag vibe. I like it; the guy really knows how to dress. Ferris’ dirty blond hair has this controlled messy look going on, which I find completely charming.

  Ferris turns his head in my direction, smiling brightly when he sees me. He pushes away from the wall and walks down the block to meet me.

  “Hey, Ezra!” Ferris greets me enthusiastically.

  I smile warmly as we clasp hands and bump shoulders.

  “Hey,” I reply.

  “You look nice,” Ferris says, eyeing up my outfit.

  A blush creeps up my cheeks. “Thanks. You look nice, too.”

  He looks down at himself. “I was going for an ‘I Love the USA’ look tonight. Does it work?”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, it works. On you, anyway. I don’t know if I could pull that off.”

  “With a body like yours, you can pull off anything,” Ferris practically purrs, his lips curving into a sensual grin.

  I feel myself heat and respond to hearing what he thinks of my body. The heat crawls up my neck to my face. Thank God it's dark out. Hopefully he can't see how flushed I am. "A body like mine?" I gulp. Fuck, why did I ask that? Do I really want the answer? Yes. Yes I do.

  Ferris' eyelids drop to half-mast and his body is suddenly exuding a sexual vibe that has my cock swelling.

  "Come on, Ez. We both know how built you are." He reaches out and gives my bicep a squeeze. "Your arms are insane. And I know there is a six pack under that shirt because I saw it."

  “You have a six pack, too," I huff, sounding a little breathier than I would have liked. "It's not like I'm the only one here with a nice body."

  I snap my mouth shut and immediately wish I could suck those words back into my mouth and swallow them. My eyes dart toward the guys working the door. There’s no way they can hear us; they are too far away.

  "Don't worry, no one heard you." Ferris snickers. "Except for me."

  "Cocky bastard," I mutter, making him laugh a little harder. "Let's go in."

  “Okay,” Ferris replies brightly.

  “Where’s your friend?”

  “She's inside grabbing us a couple of seats at the bar.”

  +

  FERRIS

  We get our IDs checked at the door before walking in and finding Krista where she’s holding seats at the bar for us. It’s still kinda early, so it’s not super crowded yet. I do my best not to stare at Ezra, but it’s difficult when the man is fucking gorgeous. Those eyes…I can’t get over those crystal blue eyes framed by those long black lashes. He’s got a bit of a five o’clock shadow going on tonight, which is sexy as hell. I like when guys have a little bit of scruff on their faces. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the night without throwing myself at him and scaring him away for good.

  I sit in between Krista and Ezra. “Krista, this is Ezra. Ezra, Krista.”

  They shake hands across the front of me.

  “Nice to finally meet you. Ferris talks about you all the time,” Krista says to Ezra with a devilish grin.

  I give Krista a dirty look before sneaking a glance at Ezra. He looks a little shocked, and maybe a bit intrigued.

  “Is that right? Good things, I hope,” he replies with a genuine smile that has the corners of his eyes creasing and that damn dimple showing up.

  Damn, those crows feet are sexy!

  “Only the best!” Krista chuckles.

  A couple of minutes of semi-awkward silence follows as we wait for the bartender to make it over to us.

  “So, Ferris, are you single?” Ezra asks after giving the bartender his order.

  Krista kicks me in the leg, so I kick her back. Idiot.

  I raise an eyebrow at Ezra. “Yes. Why?”

  He shrugs and blushes. “Just trying to make conversation. You’ve never mentioned having a boyfriend or anything, so I was just curious.”

  Interesting.

  “Oh, okay. I thought you were trying to play matchmaker or something,” I chuckle.

  He grins shyly and shakes his head. “Nah, I only know two gay people, you and Spencer, so that would just be wrong.”

  I laugh. “Yes it would.”

  “Do you have any siblings?”

  My laugh dies a slow death. “Uh, yeah. I have two brothers and a sister.”

  He frowns at me. “Okay, what happened there?”

  “It’s just that I don’t see or talk to them anymore,” I inform him, staring down at my hands on the bar.

  “Why not…” Ezra starts to ask but stops himself as he realizes the reason why. “…It’s because you’re gay, isn’t it?”

  I nod. “Yep. My family basically disowned me when I told them. Haven’t seen them in about three years.”

  “Damn. I’m so sorry, Ferris,” he says with such sincerity that it makes my heart clench.

  I shrug. “Can’t be helped. I won’t be someone I’m not. I couldn’t hide it anymore; it was tearing me apart inside. That’s why I always say that Spencer is lucky to have you for a dad. You’re amazing. I would have given anything for my family to be even half as supportive as you are.”

  Some kind of emotion flashes in his eyes, but it's gone before I can put a name to it.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that,” he says humbly.

  “How about you? Any siblings?” I ask.

  “Nope. Only child.” He smirks.

  “Huh, never would have guessed,” I grunt in surprise before taking a sip of my rum and Coke.

  “Don’t be fooled. I’m a spoiled brat.” Ezra chuckles.

  I bark out a laugh.

  “Oh, hey, did you get to the oral surgeon yet?” he asks.

  It’s been a week since Ezra pulled my tooth. I was sore for a couple of days afterward like he said but I’m feeling fine now.

  “No, but I have an appointment for Wednesday.”

  “Good.”

  “Hey, don’t mind me, I’ll just sit over here while no one talks to me,” Krista interjects dryly.

  Both Ezra and I laugh. “Aw, poor baby is getting left out,” I coo and pinch her cheek.

  Krista slaps my hand away. “Asshole.”

  +

  EZRA

  Ferris is living the life I've always been afraid of. He lost his family because he’s gay. That’s been my biggest fear my entire life, that somehow my family would find out about my attraction to men, and I’d become an outcast. That’s why I married Justine. Well, that’s not fair to say; that wasn’t the main reason. I really did and still do love her, and if she hadn’t died, I would be spending the rest of my life with her. I haven’t even had the balls to tell my parents about Spencer, worried about how they would react. He hasn’t pushed the issue, so I haven’t pushed it either.

  My nerves take over and the next time the bartender comes around, I order a few shots to hopefully help me relax. Ferris gives me a sideways glance but doesn’t say a word. I down the three shots fairly quickly then chase them with my beer. I haven’t done shots since college, but it’s like riding a bike, you don’t forget how to do it no matter how much time has passed.

  The buzz kicks in fairly quickly since other than a beer here and there, I don’t drink. I can’t tell you the last time I was drunk. Although, with everything that has been going on lately with my emotions and feelings about Ferris, I think I just may try to get drunk. I need a reprieve from myself for a while. When the next round of beers come, I order three more shots. This time, Ferris stares at me, his brows furrowed in concern.

  “You okay, Ez?” Ferris asks.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You trying to get hammered?”

  I shrug. “Maybe.”

  I take my time with these shots, drinking a little bit of beer and joining in on Ferris and Krista’ conversatio
ns. By the time I finish the third shot, I realize that it’s hitting me hard and fast, but it feels good. My mind is blissfully blank and all of my worries have melted away.

  +

  FERRIS

  I’m starting to feel really good from the alcohol, like a warm, cozy, I-don’t-give-a-fuck blanket wrapping around me. I swear that there is something in Ezra’s eyes when he looks at me, other than the fact that he’s totally obliterated - something very close to lust. I’ve got to be seeing things, though. Ezra isn’t interested in me like that, he sees me as a friend. The music starts to really get good as the DJ caters to the younger crowd that’s rolled in. I’m grooving to the music on my stool, dying to get out to the dance floor, but I’m not sure if Ezra dances.

  “Wanna go dance?” Ezra slurs, as if reading my mind, or more like my body.

  I grin at him. “Yes, I do. Are you going to come with me?”

  He gives me a lazy, drunken smile. Oh, he’s trashed all right, it’s written all over his face.

  “I’m down,” he drawls.

  I laugh.

  We both look at Krista, who shakes her head. “I don’t dance, not even drunk. I’m gonna go hit on that hottie in the corner.”

  So Ezra and I head for the dance floor. We find an open spot in the midst of the crowd that is mostly girls. I find out very quickly that Ezra is a really sexy dancer. He rolls his body like a goddamn male stripper. I’m mesmerized and completely turned the fuck on.

  A young girl, probably in her mid-twenties, dances her way in front of Ezra. She puts her back to him and shoves her ass in his crotch. She’s a cute girl with a nice body. Ezra’s eyebrows shoot up and his wide eyes meet mine. He actually gives me a “Help me!” look. Apparently, he’s not ready to have a young girl bumping and grinding on him. It seems that even though my friend is lonely, and could use some lovin’, it doesn’t look like he’s ready to have some chick he doesn’t know rubbing herself all over him.

  Ferris to the rescue!

  I step closer and grab Ezra’s hand, pull him out from behind the girl, and up against my side. I wrap my free arm around his waist and pull him in so that we are touching from chest to thigh. Ezra can no doubt feel my erection against his hip, but it can’t be helped.

  “Hey!” the girl, who looks downright pissed, yells over the music. “I was dancing with him!”

  “Sorry, hun, but he’s with me, and I’d appreciate it if you kept your skanky ass away from his cock,” I drawl, palming Ezra’s ass for effect.

  I feel Ezra’s hand snake around my waist, causing goosebumps to pop up all over my skin. The girl rolls her eyes and mutters something about all of the hot ones being gay, before stomping off through the crowd. I smile my triumph and turn to look at Ezra, who is so close that our noses touch when I face him.

  My breath catches as a wave of desire hits me hard. Shit, I might just have to seal my lips over his very soon. And I swear that look is in his eyes again, but this time the lust has been cranked up a notch. He looks like he’s actually thinking about kissing me, too.

  “You might want to dance with me if you don’t want to get hit on,” I murmur just loud enough for him to hear me.

  Ezra licks his bottom lip and gives me a jerky nod. “Yeah, okay, we can dance.”

  We slowly start swaying to the music. I turn slightly so that we are completely facing each other and slip my thigh in between his. The arm Ezra has around my waist tightens, pulling me closer. His nose brushes against my cheek and ear, sending shivers down my spine as we grind against each other. I keep my hand on his ass for effect...okay, that's a lie, I just want to touch his ass. It's a very nice ass, firm and round. And I'm fairly certain that what I'm feeling against my thigh is his erection. No completely straight guy would dance with another dude like this, or have a hard-on while doing it. Fuck me; I'm in so much trouble with this guy.

  +

  EZRA

  I know I’m drunk, and I know that I’m not thinking with my brain, but I can’t find it in myself to care. Ferris’ body pressed against mine feels so fucking good, and so fucking right, that it’s making me lightheaded…or that could be the booze. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters right now is the man in my arms with the dirty blond hair and stormy gray eyes that are looking at me with such longing that it makes my heart hurt.

  “Why don’t you want to dance with the girls?” Ferris asks, his warm breath fanning across my jaw.

  “Because I want you,” I blurt, my voice low and husky. I didn’t mean to actually tell him that, but shit slips when I’m drunk. My emotions run high and I have no filter when I drink, just say whatever my heart tells me to.

  Ferris’ breath catches and he jerks his head back so that he can fully see all of my face. “What?” His wide eyes search mine.

  “You heard me.”

  “I did, but why would you say that?” His eyes narrow at me, as if he's trying to figure me out.

  “Because I mean it. Every time I’m near you…I…I want you. I want to know what it’s like to kiss you and to hold you…and fucking kiss you,” I growl the last part.

  He cocks an eyebrow at me, a hint of challenge in his eyes. "I thought you were straight?"

  I drop my forehead to his. “I never said I was completely straight.”

  +

  FERRIS

  I knew it! And as much as I'd like to celebrate this knew found knowledge of him being into men by kissing the shit out of him, I remind myself that he’s hammered and is more likely to do something stupid and regret it in the morning. So, as much as it pains me, I release my hold on him and take a step back. He frowns, his eyes searching my face.

  “Gotta take a piss,” I lie, hating the look of rejection on his handsome face.

  Ezra nods slowly. “Yeah, me, too.”

  I nod toward the bathrooms. “Let’s go.”

  We start for the bathroom, having to squeeze through the crowd that keeps getting thicker and thicker by the hour. I lost sight of Krista about half an hour ago. She probably left with a guy.

  As we get closer to the bathroom door, I find myself being shoved up against the wall next to the door, and my mouth gets assaulted by hot, eager lips.

  Holy motherfucking hell! Ezra is kissing me!

  Never in a million years did I think that Ezra would ever make a move like this. His big body crowds me against the wall as his tongue makes an appearance, looking for entrance. I can't help myself and open for him, letting him plunge his eager tongue into my mouth. I moan and let him plunder my mouth. He presses his body more firmly against mine and rolls his hips, rubbing his hard-on against mine.

  As much as I would love to suck face with him all night, it’s not right. The guy is piss drunk and is not thinking straight. I fist Ezra’s shirt and roughly push him back.

  “Ezra, what are you doing?” I pant, my lips tingling from Ezra’s rough kiss.

  His heavy-lidded gaze gives me an incredulous look. “Kissing you. What does it look like?” he replies, moving back in close to kiss me again.

  He gets in a peck before I push him back again. “Dude, think about what you’re doing.”

  Ezra shakes his head. “I’m tired of thinking. I don’t wanna think anymore. I just want to feel for once.”

  I sigh. Taking his hand, I lead him out of the bar. The air outside is cooler with a nice breeze that blows our hair around. I walk us down the block and around the corner so we can have some privacy. When I turn to face Ezra, the man’s hard body crashes into mine, but this time, he tucks his face into my neck and hugs me.

  I wrap my arms around him and hold him.

  “I don’t wanna be alone anymore,” Ezra whispers, his lips brushing against my neck.

  “I know, Ez,” I murmur, stroking the back of his head. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

  Fucking break my heart, why don’t you?

  Ezra nods, his face still in the crook of my neck.

  The walk to Ezra’s house is quiet. I have to keep m
y hand on his elbow because the guy keeps stumbling and walking into bushes. What’s normally a ten to fifteen minute walk, turns into twenty-five because of his drunken state.

  We finally make it to his front door, and instead of using his keys, Ezra bangs his fist on the door. “Spencer! Let me in!”

  “Jesus,” I hiss and pat down his pants looking for his keys.

  Before I can shove my hand in the front pocket of his pants, the door opens and a confused looking Spencer is standing there. A cute little blond kid sidles up behind him to see what’s going on.

  “Did you forget your key or something?” Spencer questions, eyeing his dad suspiciously.

  “Nope, too drunk to find it,” he chirps.

  I roll my eyes and help Ezra into the house. Spencer shuts and locks the door behind us.

  “Where is his bedroom? I’ll get him in bed then head out,” I say quietly to Spencer.

  Ezra stumbles toward the stairs and starts crawling up them. “So dizzy…stop fucking moving you damn stairs,” he mutters, talking to the steps.

  Spencer stares wide eyed at his dad. “Down the hall, first door on the left,” he says without taking his eyes off his father.

  “Okay.” He’s obviously never seen his dad drunk before.

  I go over to the stairs and follow Ezra up. At the top, he continues to crawl down the hallway toward his room. I open the door for him then follow him in, shutting the door behind us. Ezra lies down in the middle of the floor on his stomach.

  “Just leave me here. I’m fine,” he mumbles, his voice muffled slightly by the carpet.

  “No, come on, let’s get you in bed,” I say.

  I roll him over then pull him up to a sitting position. He sways, his chin hitting his chest. I move behind him, tuck my arms under his then lift the bigger man up to his feet. Ezra moans when I sit him on the end of the bed.

  “I’m gonna be sick,” Ezra croaks.

  I quickly look around and spot a trashcan in the corner of the room. I race to grab it. I thrust it into Ezra’s arms just as he starts puking his guts up. I sit down next to him and put my hand on his back, rubbing it in circles. This is not how I thought the night would go, but I’m going to be here for the man who is quickly stealing my heart, nonetheless.