Taking on Twins
Page 16
Cat tapped on the counter with her fingers as she passed behind it, breaking Coralee’s reverie. “You’re lost in your own world today. Anything you want to talk about?”
Coralee narrowed her eyes. Cat usually didn’t like talking about serious topics, especially emotional ones. There was a reason she asked the question. “I was thinking about the twins. I miss them.”
Cat nodded. “To be honest, I do, too. Imagine that. Me, Catrina Holbrook, sad that there aren’t two small children underfoot.” After a rueful laugh at her own expense, she paused, smile fading. Her eyes darted to Coralee then away. That wasn’t a good sign. Coralee braced herself for more bad news, coming through the grapevine rather than from Jake himself. “I need to be honest about something else, too. I talked to Jake yesterday.”
“I see. And what did you talk about?” A sick feeling settled in Coralee’s stomach at the mention of his name.
“You. And him. I overheard Mrs. Collins tell you that he’d moved out to the farm. I know that hurt your feelings. How could it not? He’s such a dunce. Anyway, I was a little upset with him, so I decided to confront him, ask him why he would hurt you again.”
Coralee leaned on the counter, not sure she wanted to know the answer, but unable to keep from asking. “And? What did he tell you?”
Cat’s lips thinned into a tight line. “He blamed it on Dr. Jay. He said the old man made it clear Jake would lose his position if he continued to spend time with you. He didn’t see any way to keep supporting the twins and his parents if that happened. I don’t think that’s a good excuse, but even I could see he was pretty torn up about it. I don’t think he wanted to hurt you.”
A small crack formed in the wall she’d been trying to build up against Jake. How impossible the situation must feel to him. It still hurt to know that he had chosen to abandon her to keep his employment. But she had a feeling that if she had been faced with the same terrible decision, she might have done the same thing.
* * *
Monday morning started far too early for Jake. He was roused from sleep before the sun came up by the door to his room creaking open ever so slowly. Cracking open one eye, he saw Louisa’s little blond head peek in. Then her shoulders. Then she was standing in the doorway.
Wondering what she would do, he waited. Soon enough, she tiptoed to the bed and stood next to it. “Jake?”
He sat up and reached out to pull her into bed with him. “What’s the matter, darling?”
“I sick.” She nestled her head into his chest as she spoke the words. His heart nearly broke at her quiet, sad tone.
“Oh, no. You can rest right here with me for a bit and see if that helps you feel better.”
It didn’t take long for Louisa to doze off, curled against his chest and snoring lightly. But Jake couldn’t get back to sleep. In the dimness before dawn, all he could do was wonder what life would be like when he finally found a permanent family for the children. They had grown to be such an integral part of his world in just a short amount of time. He didn’t like to think about how much he would miss them when they left.
Along with his lack of experience with children, Jake had never felt a strong interest in them. He had assumed at some point in his life he would marry and have a family. He had put a lot of thought into what marriage would look like before that awful fight with Coralee. But he hadn’t considered what it would be like to have children in his life. To be a father.
And now he had two sweet little ones under his care and he felt like a parent more and more every day. But he constantly had to remind himself that they weren’t his children. They deserved a home with parents who knew what they were doing, who could provide them with siblings and all the usual family dynamics.
Jake’s mind flashed back to Coralee’s revelation that she might never have children of her own. At first he had thought it must be devastating for her to be denied a family. But after coming to care so much for the twins—children who weren’t his own—Jake hated that his initial response had been negative.
There was something wonderful about giving orphans a chance to have a loving family. It didn’t matter how that family was formed, it was just as vital as one created through biology. He prayed that Louisa and Phillip would find that kind of love wherever God placed them.
He had to talk himself into going to the clinic that day. As the morning wore on, he kept hemming and hawing about getting to town, knowing that he had to confront Samuel when he got there. He spent longer than necessary making sure Louisa wasn’t too sick for his mother to handle. Then he made several house calls to farms near his parents’ house before heading toward town. He made a house call on First Street and stopped to have an early lunch at Lily’s. But the time came when he couldn’t put it off any longer. All that was left was to gather his courage and do what God was asking him to do.
He swallowed hard as he entered the clinic, palms so slick with sweat that he had to wipe them on his pants before turning the doorknob. Relief and nerves battled inside him when he saw that Samuel was in his office. He decided it was now or never and walked straight to the office, knowing that if he stopped at his desk, he would never make himself get up.
The older man bent over his desk, scribbling in a file. “Samuel, I need to speak with you, if you have a moment?”
The doctor looked up and gestured Jake in, leaning back in the chair and stretching his fingers. “Sure, Hadley. I could use a break from catching up on all these files, anyway.”
Jake took a deep breath and jumped right in. “It’s about our conversation last week. About Coralee.”
Samuel steepled his fingers together. “Ah, yes. Well, out with it.”
“Sir, I don’t feel right about the situation. Coralee has been a good friend for most of my life. I can’t just abandon her because you don’t like her.” He licked dry lips as nerves washed over him again. “I understand if you want to end our arrangement. But I hope that you can see how impossible the situation is for me. Please give me a chance to show you that she isn’t a threat to this town.”
Samuel turned in his chair and stared out the window behind him. The silence stretched long enough that Jake shifted from one foot to the other, wondering if Samuel would respond at all. Finally, without looking at Jake, he answered. “It’s clear that you care for the woman. Perhaps that emotion is clouding your judgment.”
Jake’s heart squeezed tight. Was this the end of his dreams? “I assure you, I am not acting merely on emotion. My conscience won’t let me continue to hurt an innocent person just to stay comfortable here. Don’t get me wrong, this position means the world to me. But my first allegiance is to God and He has made it clear that I can’t treat Coralee that way.”
His mentor turned the chair around so fast it was in danger of tipping over. “While I don’t claim any allegiance to God, I know that faith is a powerful motivator for some. So what would God have you do, Hadley? Abandon your parents in their old age? Go back on your word to me when you took this position?”
Lowering himself into a chair, Jake leaned forward, meeting Samuel’s skeptical gaze head-on. “God asks me to live for His glory. Anything more than that, He’ll handle. He’s told us to love others more than ourselves and that’s what I’m trying to do. And it isn’t all about Coralee. I care about you, too, Samuel. I can’t sit back and watch you live in bitterness if I have a chance to help you heal. And I don’t think I can do that if I make the choice you seem to expect me to.”
Unidentifiable emotions flashed across Samuel’s face as Jake waited for his verdict. The older man’s voice was gruff when he finally spoke. “I appreciate the sentiment, Hadley. But there’s nothing that can help me heal now. Not you and not God.” He waved a hand at the door as he turned back to his paperwork. “Get back to work, Hadley.”
“That’s it? I still have a position here?”
“Yes. Now go. I have quite a bit to catch up on and it won’t get done sitting around talking about our feelings.” Jake got the sense Samuel wasn’t just giving up because Jake’s words had convinced him he was wrong. Something was lurking under the surface of the doctor’s quick change of heart. Jake only hoped it wasn’t something worse than the ultimatum he had just faced.
He left the office before the older doctor could change his mind again. The day seemed to drag on, with the prospect of visiting Coralee waiting at the end. It would be a hard conversation, but he had missed her enough that he was just happy for the chance to be near her again. At least, he hoped she would give him the chance to be near her.
The afternoon was busy, which Jake was thankful for. Several patients came in to consult with Samuel. Jake was called out to examine little Timothy Smith after he fell off a horse, thankfully just twisting an ankle. Then he rode out to his parents’ farm to do a few chores and pick up the twins before heading back into town to visit Coralee.
Pulling up in front of Holbrook’s, Jake was pleased to see customers entering and exiting the shop. His mother had told him they seemed to be doing more business that week and he couldn’t be more proud to see that her assessment had been true.
When they entered the building, several customers stood at the counter, examining displays while they waited. Cat was at the far end of the room, discussing a remedy with a customer. Closer to the door, Coralee counted out tablets of her new medication while Mr. Collins, the mercantile owner, waited. She filled a small tin with the remedy and wrapped up the order.
Jake took the only available seat at a table and leaned back to watch her at work.
“Now, Mr. Collins, you’ll need to make sure your wife takes one tablet with a cup of tea every four hours. Come back and see me tomorrow if she isn’t feeling better.”
The man took his package just as the twins barreled past him and around the counter to Coralee, their shouts drowning out his response. “Coree!”
Her face lit up. “If it isn’t my two favorite people.” She picked up each child and sat them on the counter, one on each side of her. “I think you’ve both grown since I last saw you. You must be, oh, ten feet tall.”
The little ones giggled. Louisa leaned close to Coralee. “I sing song.”
“A song? Could you sing it for me?”
Louisa nodded, her face solemn, then hummed a little tune his mother had taught her. Tender love radiated from Coralee as she listened. Jake’s eyes slid shut. It was abundantly clear that Coralee loved the twins. They needed all the love they could get after losing everything they had ever known. How could he have thought the separation wouldn’t hurt them as much as it hurt him and Coralee? He had been so selfish.
Longing caught him off guard when Coralee leaned forward and planted a light kiss on each child’s forehead before lifting them down from the counter. It was the same kind of kiss his mother had always given him as a child. For a moment he could imagine that he was sitting there watching her with his own children, their children. And he wanted that scene to be real more than he ever thought he would. All the time he had spent with the twins had awakened a desire for a family that he hadn’t expected, a desire to make Coralee his wife, adopt the twins, and give both her and the children the family they deserved.
But his own actions continued to drive Coralee away at every turn. Reality crashed back down on him. He was there to fix his terrible mistake. Or try to fix it, anyway. Nervous energy built as Cat and Coralee finished helping the last few customers and the shop emptied. It was almost closing time. Time for Jake to own up to his failures.
Chapter Nine
Coralee was sure she could have cut the tension in the air with a knife as Jake watched her from across the shop. She had no idea why he had showed up now, but she was thankful for the chance to see the twins. Their happy greetings had filled her with so much emotion, she thought it might just burst out of her.
The little ones had wiggled their way right into her heart when she wasn’t looking. To her shame, she realized that she was secretly glad no family had come forward to take the children in. She scolded herself for that thought as Louisa and Phillip ran to the workroom to play. Those darling children deserved all the best and a good, loving family was the first step.
As she wrapped a glass bottle in brown paper for an older man, Coralee’s eyes met Jake’s. For a moment, she couldn’t look away. Quickly, she busied herself with her customer, forcing the warm feelings deep down. Even if the reasons for his recent actions were as understandable as Cat had made them sound, Jake had hurt her. Again. She wasn’t quite ready to let that go.
Jake’s presence stirred the longing she wanted with all her heart to stamp out. When he’d left for medical school without trying to mend their relationship, she had convinced herself she’d misunderstood his intentions. It had seemed like he loved her, but he couldn’t have felt the same way she had, no matter what his words seemed to imply. Not if he had been willing to leave her like that.
Now, even after years of change and growth, she couldn’t allow herself to believe anything between them had changed. He claimed to want her in his life, but then he’d turned around and chosen to push her out of it without so much as a word of explanation. No matter what she longed for, the reality was clear. Jake did not care for her any more now than he had all those years ago.
Feeling his eyes on her as she helped the last few customers of the day, her throat went dry. She knew as soon as the last person left, she would have to face Jake and whatever he had come to say. Her heart pulled in two different directions. She dreaded the confrontation and the pain it could bring, but at the same time she longed to know if he would say the words she wanted to hear.
When the last customer left, Jake pushed up from his seat and crossed to the counter. “I’m thrilled to see so many people in the shop, Coralee. You’ve accomplished what you set out to do. And your father would have been proud.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thank you, Jake. I’m just relieved that Papa’s idea was as sound as he hoped and that people appreciate it. It would have been devastating to lose everything he’d worked so hard for.”
Jake nodded and they both looked away, awkwardness settling between them. Coralee wondered if he would ever just say what he had come to say. She could tell there was something on his mind.
Before either of them could break the silence, Cat shooed the twins out of the workroom, where she was trying to clean up for the day. Phillip ran straight to Coralee and she swung him up high in the air before wrapping her arms around him. “Well, little man. It’s about time for us to lock up the shop. Want to help me?”
With more gravity than she usually saw from him, Phillip nodded. He ran ahead of her to the back door and she showed him how to fit the key in the lock and turn it to secure the door. Then she stood him on a chair pulled up to the counter and let him wipe down the large scale while Cat set Louisa to sweeping the floor.
In no time, they were heading out the front door. Cat hurried on ahead, claiming she was already late for an appointment. Coralee was fairly certain her sister just wanted to give them some time alone. Even as she shook her head at her sister’s antics, she glanced down the street. A burst of unease tightened her chest. There they were: two strange men with their eyes on her, focused even through the steady stream of people out enjoying the warm evening. Trying not to stare back at them, she turned and found Jake following the direction of her gaze. Heat burned her neck. A few days ago she would have spilled her fears about the men to him. But now she just wanted to get home without any incidents. She tried to keep her eyes straight ahead rather than straying back to the strangers.
They stopped at Jake’s wagon, tension hanging between them as the twins climbed into the back. “Coralee, I was thinking maybe...you would agree to have dinner with me tonight?”
“Wait, Coralee.” His voice implored her but she did her best to ignore it. “I need to talk to you. It’s high time we get all our differences out in the open.”
Her heart lurched. She wasn’t sure that sounded like an apology was forthcoming. Still refusing to meet his eyes, her mind raced to come up with an excuse. Her gaze strayed down the street again, meeting the blatant smirk of one of the two strangers. Distracted by the men, she jumped when Jake’s fingertips brushed her chin and he turned her face to his.
“Please. Just let me give you a ride home and consider giving me a chance to explain.”
Against her better judgment, Coralee’s heart melted a little. She nodded and let Jake help her up onto the wagon seat. She still wasn’t sure it was a good idea to have dinner with him, but maybe she would at least hear him out. Her gaze again turned to the street behind them. And, just as she’d feared, the two men still hadn’t stopped watching her.
Jake held the reins still and faced her. “Coralee, you keep looking behind us and you seem worried. Is something going on?”
She hesitated, twisting a bit of hair that had come loose from under her bonnet. His face was rigid with concern. He wasn’t going to let it go until she told him what was going on. She decided it wouldn’t hurt to mention the two men. Most likely the entire thing was her imagination running wild, anyway. “I’m sure it’s nothing. There are a couple of men back there that have been watching the shop for the last few days. There must be a reasonable explanation as to why they’re there. They probably aren’t even really watching me. I’m just a little jumpy.”