Taking Chances (Learning to Love)

by LJ Baker

  He laughed, pulling me against his chest. I breathed in his intoxicating scent, bringing my hands up and sliding them under his shirt to feel the smooth skin beneath. The last few stragglers from the reception made their way out, walking around us on the stairs, talking in hushed whispers that didn't make me any less desperate for Sebastian right then and there.

  He took my hands, sliding them out from his shirt, with his eyes tightly closed and let out a deep breath he'd been holding. "Because if we don't we are going to end up spending the night in jail."

  It took me a moment to catch up and realize what he meant. It was a good thing he had enough self-control for us both, because there was no way in hell I would have stopped. He slid his hand back around slowly, making sure I was a bit steadier on my feet, and took my hand, to lead me to his car.

  I had no idea where we were going and I didn't really care. As long as it was someplace I could get him naked and not have to worry about him stopping me. Neither of us said anything for the excruciating long ten minute drive. He kept one hand on mine the entire time, as if he was afraid if he let go, or that I would get away. Not that it was even a remote possibility.

  There was no way I was going to screw things up this time!

  We pulled up to a quaint ranch-style house on what looked like a farm, but it was difficult to tell in the dark. It was not the kind of place I would have imagined he would bring me, but at that point, he could have brought me to an abandoned warehouse and I wouldn't have questioned it.

  Sebastian begrudgingly let go of my hand and practically ran around to my side of the car to open the door. It took every ounce of self-control I had, not to leap out into his arms and rip off his clothes right then and there. I could tell by the look on his face that he was probably thinking the very same thing.

  He pulled me against him, for a quick kiss before leading me into the house. It was dark except for a small amber light coming from the kitchen. He closed the door gently, locking it behind him, and led me to the bedroom in silence. My stomach flip-flopped a few times as he switched on the small lamp near the massive bed.

  "You okay?" He tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear sweetly, a stark contrast from the rough neediness that usually described contact with Sebastian.

  "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

  "You look nervous."

  I was. There was something about being close to him that sent my nerves, and every other system in my body, into overdrive.

  "A little." I might as well admit it. It wasn't like he wouldn't know I was lying if I denied it.

  He smiled and ran his knuckles across my cheek. "What are you afraid of, Kitten?" He practically purred the words.

  What was I afraid of... that certainly was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

  "Well, how about this." He backed away and sat down on the bed. "I'll leave this up to you."

  "Huh?" I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I definitely wanted him to elaborate.

  "You set the pace. We do whatever you want, however you want it." He leaned back on his elbows, and smiled devilishly. "Do with me as you please."

  I looked over him trying to decide whether to not only believe what was happening, but if I could actually get up the nerve to do more than stand there looking shocked. He raised one eyebrow, as if to say "Well, what will it be?"

  All sorts of reasons to play along danced through my head. Not one reason to chicken out came to mind. The things I'd thought about doing to him since we met, fought for center stage, begging to be considered. There was one thing however, that jumped out. One thing that played out in my dreams, and fantasies, that I most definitely wanted to try.

  That old familiar fear and part of me that held me back went off to take a nap somewhere, leaving me feeling uncharacteristically brave and adventurous. I wasn't sure how long it would continue, but I was going to take advantage of it while it lasted.

  "Okay then, sit up."

  He complied without hesitation.

  I loosened the knot in his tie and pulled it from around his neck. Right away his eyes lit up in shocked anticipation. He wasn't expecting that, but he clearly was not about to complain. I wrapped the material around his head and tied it tightly.

  "Stand up." I was beginning to enjoy my new role. Sebastian did as he was told, something I never thought I would see.

  I unbuttoned his shirt, pushed it to the floor, and took a moment to enjoy the smooth muscular chest in front of me. I let my hands explore the warm flesh, leaving goose bumps behind in their wake. Sebastian loved to tease and torment me with deliberate slowness, taking such pleasure out of my desperate impatience for his touch. Now it was his turn to see what that felt like, to want something so badly you would promise your first born to have it immediately, but have no choice but to wait.

  My fingertips grazed over his nipples, feeling them harden immediately. My first thought was to lean down and take a taste, so that was exactly what I did. His breath caught as my tongue licked over the tiny nubs. He tried to use his hands, reaching for my breasts through the dress, but I pushed him away. He told me I could do with him as I pleased, and I wasn't about to let him forget that.

  After I satisfied myself exploring his chest, I trailed my hands and mouth down to his rock hard abs. He squirmed a bit as if he was ticklish, but for the most part, remained still, letting me take my time with every inch of male perfection. I positioned him on the other side of me so that I could sit down on the edge of the bed while he stood in front of me, giving me the best angle to work my way down further.

  Sebastian was beginning to get impatient, and tried to reach around for the zipper on my dress this time, but again, I pushed his hands back down.

  "No touching," I cooed, slapping the back of his hand lightly. It was my turn to tease him and I was going to take full advantage of it. Being the one in control was exhilarating. I was beginning to understand a little of Sebastian's controlling ways.

  I slid my hands around the waist band of his pants. I was a little disappointed he wasn't wearing a belt this time. I had a few ideas that involved it, but that would have to wait. After undoing his pants and pushing them to the floor, I took a moment to take in the sight of him standing there in only a tight pair of black boxer-briefs and the tie around his eyes. That body was certainly something worth taking the time to enjoy.

  "Lexi--" He tried to speak but I put my finger up to his lips, silencing him.

  Now he could see how it felt.

  "Shhh," I purred. "No talking, Mr. Michelson. You just stand there and look pretty."

  The corners or his mouth came up into a smile that made me want to lick it off his face. Slowly, I pushed the boxer-briefs down with my thumbs, letting my fingers tickle the sensitive skin along the way. He shivered a little, but didn't protest. Sebastian certainly had more patience than me. I would have to see if there was something I could do about that.

  I leaned back a bit, admiring him once again. He was already completely hard, the head a swollen knob of deliciousness, with a drop of thick liquid that sat on top. I had an overwhelming urge to take a taste, and since I was the one in charge, that's exactly what I planned to do.

  I took him into my hands, admiring the natural beauty of it. Sebastian most definitely had a beautiful cock. I laughed a little at the silliness of the thought.

  "Something funny down there?" A mixture of amusement and typical male insecurity in his voice. Not that he had anything to be insecure about.

  My tongue darted out, tasting the shimmering bead of liquid. It was hot and salty, and made me want more. He flexed and tightened, likely knowing what was about to come next. Steadying him with my left hand, I took the head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around, tasting and wetting it at the same time. Sebastian let out a deep groan and brought one hand up sliding my hair back away from my face.

  Seeing Sebastian's reaction gave me the incentive to continue. I licked over my lips, wetting them, allowing them to slide easily down over
his shaft, and slid slowly back up. I took a deep breath and went back down, taking as much as I could into my mouth, bumping it into the back of my throat. I continued a slow relentless pace, teasing him for a minute then quickened briefly before slowing down once again.

  The other times we had been together, he took great pleasure in teasing me with deliberate torture and I had no intention of letting that go unpunished. Not that this kind of punishment wasn't also a reward, but he certainly deserved both.

  That wasn't the kind of thing I was ever interested in with previous boyfriends. It was one of those things I did when they complained enough and just tried to get it over with. With Sebastian, it was altogether different. His ass tightened, his hips bucked involuntarily, and I could tell he was having a hard time keeping himself composed.

  "Kitten, please," he growled. "You need to stop now, or I won't be able to." His breathing was coming in fast pants and I could tell it was a struggle for him to hold back.

  Part of me wanted to continue and let him release in my mouth, giving me the opportunity to taste more of him, but even more, I wanted to feel him inside me. Begrudgingly, I backed off him, looking up as I slide him out. The blindfold still covering his eyes, he let out the breath he was holding.

  I stood, finally allowing him access to the zipper of my dress. He wasted no time removing my clothes but when he tried to reach for my breasts, I stopped him once again.

  "No touching, remember?"

  "You can't be serious?" He laughed, then realized I was not joking. His smile slowly faded, replaced with a curious and confused look.

  I pushed him down on the bed and pushed at him to move up further, leaving plenty of room for me to climb up on top of him. I grabbed a condom from the top of the nightstand, and quickly rolled it down his length. Again I took a moment to admire him naked and needy in front of me. I could tell he felt exactly how he made me feel, impatient, nearly desperate for more.

  I wanted to prolong his agony, be the expert tease that he was, but I was far too eager to feel him throb inside me. I would let him have the title of master tease. I slowly climbed on top of him, positioning my hips over him. He pulsed with need, his body begging for more.

  "Lexi, please," he begged, his voice a low growl that sent a tingling sensation over my body that settled in waves over me.

  "Please what?" I toyed with him, knowing full well that was exactly what he would do to me.

  "Please, fuck me," he growled, nearly a demand.

  It was all I needed. I slid, as slow as I could manage, down on him, savoring every millimeter. The oxygen pushed from my lungs, completely emptying by the time his balls thumped against my ass. Dizziness swirled around my head. I leaned my hands down on Sebastian's chest for balance and took a deep breath. I pushed and pulled back against him, settling in on a steady pace that threatened a quick end. I nearly lost my balance, screaming out his name as orgasm washed over me in wave after delicious wave.

  Without any protest from me, he pushed the tie from his eyes and pushed up on his elbows, deepening the angle of him inside me. He propped himself up with one arm and wrapped the other around my waist steadying me, and he took over thrusting hard and fast against me. Before I even managed to gain control over my breathing, he joined me, groaning deep into my chest, his fingers gripping tightly into my hips.

  He held me there for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us having the energy, or will, to move. If I could have fallen asleep there, I surely would have. Eventually, he fell back, pulling me with him. I squirmed around a bit to straighten my legs and snuggled in beside him.

  I laid there with my head on his chest, listening to his heart thump softly against my ear. I was flooded with emotions that made no sense to me. Before Sebastian, things like love, relationships, or wanting to spend eternity with the same person- was insanity to me. With Sebastian, everything was different. He was the remedy to everything in me that was broken, the missing piece to all that was meant to be inside me, yet I never knew I needed.

  I pushed up from him, suddenly panicked at the intensity of my feelings. The word love flashed into my mind and I immediately pushed it away, not ready to admit it was even possible.

  He rolled over, reaching out for me in his half-asleep state. I pulled back, staying just out of his reach. He moaned in disappointment. I knew I had to decide if I was going to continue fighting this never-ending losing battle to avoid my feelings for Sebastian, or give in and take a chance on what felt so right.

  I took a breath, shut out the part of my brain that refused to let go of the past, and rolled back against his warm body. His arms came around me, pulling me close.

  He whispered, "I love you, Kitten," then sighed deeply, and fell back into a deep sleep.

  My heart back-flipped in my chest, momentarily making it impossible to breathe. I didn't know if he really meant what he said or if it was just a mixture of post-orgasmic bliss and being half asleep. The words played over in my head on repeat until I came to the realization that whether he meant them or not, that was exactly how I felt about him. Love. His words burned into me, leaving something I had never before felt.

  Clarity.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  By the time daylight peeked through the curtains, my old familiar doubts tried to return. I thought about sneaking out from under Sebastian and leaving before he woke up, to avoid talking about what happened. It would also help me evade doing anything stupid to mess up something I wasn't ready to end.

  As if he sensed my impending need to flee, he nuzzled in against my breast, sliding one hand up to cup the one on the other side.

  "Good morning, beautiful." With his eyes still only half open, he found my nipple with his mouth and sucked it to attention.

  I eased him back, breaking contact with the hard nub. "Hey!" he protested, reaching out to pull me back.

  "As much as I would love to stay here in this bed with you, I do have things to do today." I pried his hands from me, and slipped from the bed.

  "What could you possibly have to do today that would be better than what I could offer you here?" He glanced down my body, his hunger burning into me and leaving a tingling sensation trailing behind.

  I sighed heavily, wishing I could forget the world and stay there with him for one more day.

  Or a lifetime.

  "My brother and Kat broke up last night. Kat hasn't been answering me and Matt was more upset than I've ever seen him. I have to check on them and see what happened. So, as much as I would love to stay here with you, I can't."

  "I'm sorry. How can I help?" He got up from the bed and stretched.

  "Well, for starters, you can put that thing away. It's much too distracting." I motioned to his semi-hardness, bouncing freely, making me want to forget all responsibility and jump back in the bed with him.

  He laughed, looking down and shrugging. "Sorry, not much I can do about that. It was completely hard until you mentioned your brother and Kat. Come have a shower with me and we can go see about this mess, and take care of this," he motioned down, "at the same time."

  I didn't need him coming with me, but turning down a shower with him would have taken more will power than I had in me.

  After we showered and dressed, we hurried out the door. Sebastian made me forget the world easily, probably a little too easily, but I needed to get back to reality and see what the hell was going on with Kat and my brother. A pang of guilt reminded me that I should have done it already, rather than spending the night having amazing sex with Sebastian. But my God, the man made me lose all sense of right and wrong. All that mattered when he was close to me, was having him even closer.

  Once out the door, he jumped past me and opened the car door, but I still didn't feel right about having him drive me around, for what could take hours.

  "Really, Sebastian--"

  "Lexi, please call me Bas." He picked up my hand and kissed it sweetly, probably just trying to distract me from my argument. He must have known that my a
bility to use higher order brain functioning was severely impaired whenever he touched me.

  I pulled my hand back, trying to get my neurons firing properly again. "Okay, Bas, I can handle this on my own. Kat has already been ignoring my calls and texts, there's no way she is going to tell me anything with you there."

  "First of all, I wasn't suggesting I go inside with you to talk to her. Second, how exactly are you planning on not only getting home, but getting to your brother's after you see Kat?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

  He had a point. My car was still in limbo and I couldn't even begin to consider buying a new one until I knew how much the insurance company was going to give me for the accident.

  "Okay, but--"

  "How about this, I drop you off at home and you can talk with Kat. I have a few errands to run so you can text me when you are done there, and I'll pick you up and take you over to your brother's place."

  It made sense, but making Sebastian chauffeur me around seemed like the kind of imposition you didn't throw on some guy you slept with a few times.

  But Sebastian was so much more.

  "Sweetheart, this is a no-brainer. Why are you trying to fight me on this?" He eyed me curiously, one eyebrow raised.

  "I don't want to take advantage of you, Sebastian."

  "Bas."

  I rolled my eyes at him and continued. "It just seems like too much of an imposition." I looked away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

  He grabbed my chin in his hand and pulled up forcing me to look at him. "I like it when you take advantage of me." He winked, a small sexy smile curved up one corner of his mouth.

  Warmth spread over my cheeks as I remembered last night. After what we'd already done, there was no reason for me to blush or feel shy around him, yet I could feel the heat in my face giving me away. Sebastian seemed to be enjoying my reaction a little too much. I pulled my chin back and turned away, trying to regain a shred of composure.

  "Don't hide that beautiful face from me. You know, seeing you blush makes me want to do naughty things to you." He pulled me tight against him, pushing my back against his car, and pressing the evidence to back his statement up, into my belly.