“Well, I better go call Leslie before she has me by my balls,” he said as he started toward the door.
I held his hand a bit tighter, hoping to cling on to the moment. “Thank you for saving me, Bryant.”
“It’s my job, Rose. Don’t mention it.” Bryant smiled the crooked smile that had stolen my heart years before.
The conversation played through my head while Bryant was out of the room. Really? It was his ‘job’. It’s been four years. I was crazy to think he’d wait for me when I told him goodbye, but seeing him filled the void left in my heart when I moved away. With Bryant near, I feel complete for the first time in years. Regardless, I won’t drag him down with me, like I said in my letter I just want him to be happy, and he looks good. Really good!
I rolled to my side, restless. Feeling exhaustion settle back in, I shifted to my back and raised the top of the bed as much as I could into a sitting position before it hurt, to wait for him to return. I watched the door but couldn’t even hear Bryant’s voice in the hallway. I huffed, reaching for the remote, and turned on the television.
The nurse stepped in with a food tray that was only cups filled with different liquids and a small cup with some pills.
“Dr. Campbell wants to get you off the heavy-duty pain medicine as quickly as possible, so we’re going to give this a shot. If it doesn’t work, you call me, understand?” she asked sternly, and I got the impression it was more of an order than a request.
“Do you know where my…” My what? “…my friend went?” I asked, and she looked to me, confused. “Bryant, the guy who was just in here,” I said, trying to clarify, and here I was the one knocked out a few days.
“He said he was your fiancé,” she explained, looking a little aggravated at his lie. “He stepped out to call your sister. Terrible reception in the building.”
I nodded, taking the pills and swallowing them one by one, cringing as I felt them slide down my constricted throat. I reached for the water, and she helped me get a sip to clear my throat.
She pulled the tray closer to me to evaluate the offering from the cafeteria, but my stomach showed no signs of interest at the chicken broth. I opened the grape juice and drank it, welcoming some flavor, even if artificial to my taste buds. My stomach clenched, and I decided that was good for now. I didn’t want to start hurling, and with the size of the incision, I figured that would hurt really badly.
My door opened again, and Leslie bum-rushed me, screeching about being grateful I was alive and how I’d been an idiot to drive.
“Jeez, Les — good to see you too,” I said as Grant leaned down and hugged us both, squishing Leslie in the middle. I peeked over their shoulders, but no sign of Bryant made my heart drop. I guessed he was back to life now that he knew his hard work hadn’t been wasted with me dying.
Leslie sat down in Bryant’s seat and began talking rapidly about my mom. She’d been by once and was keeping up with my progress. She must have been pretty rattled; I made a mental note to call her later and ease her worrying. I kept watching the door for Bryant to come back, and Leslie followed my line of sight before looking back to me.
“Looking for someone?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows at me.
“Okay, first off, never — and I mean never do that again.” I laughed. “I’m just staring off into space. It was a crazy trip, and now I’ve ruined your wedding.” Typically, making a topic about Leslie was a quick sure-fire way to distract her.
“First off,” she began, mocking me. “My wedding would be ruined if you weren’t there — postponed is nothing. Second, don’t think I’m stupid. You’re looking for Bryant.”
Luckily, she’d whispered the latter part under her breath, and Grant was lost in a game he was playing on his phone. We both looked at him, and he glanced up, feeling our stares on him.
“Is that my cue to get out?” he questioned, getting a quick nod from Leslie. Shifting his weight, he stood and headed for the door. “Fine. I’ll go see what Bryant found to eat in the cafeteria, and see if I can convince him to go across the street and actually taste the food, now that you’re awake.” He rubbed his stomach hungrily and blew a kiss to Leslie before shutting the door.
“Okay, spill. How is it seeing him again? We all figured you’d wake up and attack him. I tried to stick around for his protection, but Grant wouldn’t let me.” She pouted a moment to express her disappointment, before smirking at me.
I sighed before opening my mouth, knowing whatever I said would be memorized by her and held against me for a life. Choosing my words carefully, I began talking about the obvious superficial things I’d noticed first.
“He has changed a lot. I thought he was cute before, but now… holy hell. He makes my mouth water and my body melt.” She giggled as I blushed and looked away. “He seems happy. I’m glad to see that. I was honestly dreading coming when I heard he’d be in the wedding. That’s why I drove. I couldn’t sleep and just decided to get here so you could keep me busy and entertained.”
Leslie looked heartbroken for me as she rubbed my arm in a sympathetic gesture.
The door creaked, and I looked up to see those soulful eyes looking at me, making me gulp.
Leslie stood and leaned toward me, whispering in my ear. “Talk to him. You’ve wasted too much time.”
I nodded in agreement as she kissed my cheek before heading for the door.
She took Bryant’s hand and squeezed it, looking up to him. “You take care of her and call me later.”
Bryant walked over to me and took the seat Leslie had vacated. He just stared into my eyes, making me uncomfortable with the awkward silence.
“I’m so sorry,” Bryant said, breaking the silence, throwing me off guard.
“Sorry for what, Bryant?” I asked, confused where we were beginning this conversation.
He broke down in tears as all the obstacles we’d faced played in his eyes. “For everything. For never being the man you needed me to be.” He breathed out, beat down by his guilt and regrets.
I took his hand in mine and pulled him to me, making a few inches for him on the bed.
He gingerly climbed up, keeping the majority of his weight perched on the leg he still had on the ground.
I leaned my head into him, content to sit there in his arms. This was what I’d been missing.
“Look, I know we have a lot to work through, and we each have our own demons, but I think we can agree we belong together. You complete me, Bryant.” The tension in his shoulder’s eased as a hopeful smile crept up.
He kissed the top of my head and sealed the unspoken promise to tackle the road ahead together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
A week later I was breaking out of jail — I mean, the hospital — elated with joy. Since I moved too slowly with my cast, Bryant packed up the few things I’d acquired while there. Every pass by, he’d drop a chaste kiss on my lips, sending butterflies zinging through me in a stampede. We’d decided to enjoy the moment for now and face the heavy talks when nurses, doctors, and friends weren’t coming in and out constantly.
Now that I knew the talk was upon us, I was a bundle of nerves ready to implode. Leslie was busy planning the wedding reschedule for a month from then, and the spare room at the apartment was covered in gauze, flowers, and bridal magazines. I wasn’t ready to consider going home to my mom’s and had been openly laughed at when I’d suggested going back to my apartment in Tallahassee — ergo my bags ending up in Bryant’s truck.
We were heading to his place after my discharge. Still a bit drained, I dosed in the truck and woke up when I felt it turn in to park. I opened my eyes to a two-story Craftsman style home with a little porch.
“Where are we?” I stared at the house, waiting for a family to walk out.
I yearned to look at Bryant, and I could see the nervous expression on his face as he chewed on his lip.
“This is my place.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “You’re not married with kids, are you?”
I asked jokingly with a hint of worry.
Bryant apparently found that funny because his mood instantly lightened. “No, of course not. You were it for me, Rose. It was you or nobody. I just got tired of apartment living, and, I suppose, a piece of me held out hope we’d get here one day.” He lifted my hand to his lips and placed a gentle peck on my knuckles. The blood rose to my cheeks, heating them instantly. Bryant hopped out and came around to help me into the house.
When I stepped in, I looked around at the simple décor, very manly. Gratefully, I noticed it looked like a woman hadn’t laid a hand on it. Off to the right of the entryway was the living room with leather couches and a humongous television.
“Wowzers! Are you broadcasting sports for the people in the space station to watch?” I asked, pointing to the monstrosity on the wall.
Bryant just laughed as he turned toward the stairs. “Make yourself at home.” His smile grew bigger. “I’m just going to go set these down in the room.”
I wanted to ask which room, but figured I wouldn’t borrow trouble. I hobbled on my crutches toward the back of the house to snoop around. I found the dining room with a poker table instead of a dining table, and the kitchen that looked like a virgin in the world of cooking. With the cherry-wood cabinets, granite countertops, and stainless appliances, it was a chef’s dream.
Bryant came up behind me. He gently wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me with his body, causing me to sigh in happiness. I looked out the French doors to see a well-kept back yard, equipped with an outdoor grilling area and a hot tub on the patio.
“That’s my favorite part of the house,” he whispered in my ear, sending tingles down my spine that reminded me of the times with him in the past when I’d found him irresistible. Yeah, and now… he is ten times hotter. Good luck resisting him!
A yawn escaped my lips. Bryant turned me toward the stairs and gingerly scooped me up and carried me upstairs. He obviously knew my body still hurt, and I was incredibly slow on crutches. He carried me to a room and set me on the bed, saturated with the smell of his cologne. I lay down as he joined me and tugged me in. I quickly fell asleep surrounded by the intoxicating smell of him.
When I woke up, I was alone and sore. I rolled toward the nightstand, hoping a clock would be there. What I saw clenched my heart. I reached out to brush the bi-fold frame. On one side was one of my favorite pictures of Bryant and me under an oak tree at the barn; the other side had an ultrasound photo of Angelica. Bryant’s hand brushed my shoulder, and I jumped, not knowing he had caught me. Looking into his tear-filled eyes, I saw all the pain and suffering he had endured alone. All this time I was angry he’d abandoned me, but what I saw now was that I had abandoned him as well.
Bryant sat on the bed edge, causing it to dip, holding out the pills and a glass of water for me.
“This first-class medical care is pretty nice. Remind me to write your boss with a rave review.”
Bryant shook his head, and I could tell the time had come to air it all out by the serious look on his face. I moved to sit up beside him, but he pushed me back down.
“You need to rest as much as possible.”
He pulled in a deep breath, expanding his chest as he steeled himself for the talk that was four years past due.
“You know, when I saw you, I knew you were amazing. Short, but amazing.” He chuckled, nudging me at the same time. “I wanted to be near you, but was also terrified of the commitment I knew would come with you. I thought I wanted to be free to explore still, and I took you for granted. I didn’t want to hold you back, but I definitely didn’t want anyone else having you in my stead. When Jordan came in the picture, I could have strangled him. He knew how I felt, but he saw how amazing you were, too. I’d dragged my feet so long I wasn’t going to stop him from trying, so I figured I’d throw my hat in, too.”
His eyes drifted to the ultrasound photo, and I reached for his hand to hold. “When we found out you were pregnant, I didn’t have an ounce of fear. Looking back, I think that scares me more, that once I was with you, I was ready for it all — the family, the house, and the career. I started looking at houses online the next week, just to get an idea of how much it would be. I wanted to give you and our baby everything. I had planned everything and could see our whole life play out right here, and Tallahassee just wasn’t in my vision.
When I got the job offer, it was like a dream come true. It turned my biggest wishes for us into a possible reality. I don’t think I can ever say sorry enough for running that day and not being there for you.”
“Hey, I know you’re sorry. You didn’t know what was going on. How could you? Bryant, listen to me — I forgive you.” I felt the weight lift off my shoulders as I let that sink in. I think all along I had forgiven him, but holding onto my anger was my only way of dealing with the grief and holding onto him a little, too.
He leaned down and kissed my lips, deepening it more than we had the past week. His tongue slipped in, caressing mine before coming back up for air.
“You know I came to see you in Tallahassee,” Bryant nonchalantly tossed out.
I raised my eyebrow curiously; I had never heard even a hint that Bryant was close to Tallahassee.
“Yep, Grant told me where you guys were living on campus, and I just hopped in my truck when I had a few days off and ended up there. I saw you in a courtyard talking to Jordan, laughing and filled with life again. You looked like the old you, before I broke you, and I couldn’t interfere with your happiness.”
“I wish you would have,” I interrupted him, startling us both with my thoughts. “Alright, enough with the heavy for now. I’m hungry, and as my host, you are supposed to feed me,” I said, shifting my weight to try to sit up.
“God, you’re still bossy.” Bryant joked as he helped me up and down the stairs to the couch.
“Just so you know, I hate being helpless!” I hollered as Bryant cooked up some burgers on the grill.
“Yeah, yeah. Stop your whining. You love me catering to your every need. You know, come to think of it, this is probably setting a bad precedence for our relationship going forward.”
He reached up and ran his hand through his hair, stretching out his body enough to give me a chance to admire his muscular body. He delivered the plate of food to me. He sat beside me and flipped on the TV to a sports channel.
I reached over and snatched the remote from him and searched the movie channels before settling on a romantic comedy.
“I don’t want to ‘set a bad precedence,’” I said, quoting him. “I can only handle so much sports network, and that was a repeat anyway.”
“You’re lucky you’re already injured,” he jokingly threatened.
We sat there eating dinner and watching the movie, like we’d never missed a beat, and I could feel the smile becoming a permanent fixture on my face.
As Bryant was doing the dishes, I looked at my disheveled appearance and decided I’d really like a shower. I looked at the stairs and contemplated tackling them on my own, but sided with my better judgment.
“Bryant!” I called to the kitchen as he dried off the last dish and made his way toward me. “I know I said I hated being helpless, but I’m not sure I’m tough enough to tackle the stairs solo just yet.
A look of sheer terror crossed his face. “Don’t you dare. Are you ready for bed already, or did you want to watch another movie? I can skip the sports recaps tonight for you.”
“Actually, I wanted to attempt a shower. I feel grungy, and that hospital soap did nothing for my hair. I think it is beyond repair.” I fingered the tangled nest atop my head.
The expression in his eyes heated me up from the inside out as his tongue slipped out, wetting his lips. “You’re going to need help in there, you know.”
The shower seemed like a bad idea now, knowing my body was aching to reconnect with his, but ultimately I was desperate to feel human again.
When we got to the bathroom, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knif
e, so intense. Bryant fiddled with the water controls to get it good and hot, before reaching up to turn the showerhead away a bit.
“You’re going to have to try to keep your casts dry,” he said in explanation of the two bags he held up at me. He fastened them around the casts, sealing them off from the water as best as he could.
“Do you need help getting undressed?” he asked with a shaky voice, trying to pull his paramedic persona to the front and approach it like a professional.
I nodded, unable to speak.
Bryant pulled my shirt over my head, careful of my cast, and then removed my bra, maintaining eye contact with me. He then quickly pulled off my shorts and underwear before turning his back to me. I had to give him credit for granting me as much modesty as he could, while making sure I was safe.
I kissed his jawline and stepped into the water, melting into it.
I closed my eyes, running my hand through my hair, just enjoying the refreshing feel of the hot water. I heard the curtain pull back again, and Bryant’s arm brushed past me as he reached toward the shampoo.
“Turn around so I can get your hair,” his husky voice instructed me.
I obediently listened, and soon his fingers were massaging the citrus-smelling shampoo into my scalp. I leaned back into his magical fingers, enjoying the feel of him taking care of me.
Bryant kissed the curve of my neck, before helping me rinse out my hair. I felt the washcloth on me next, gently washing my body from head to toe. I groaned in pleasure as the cloth traced over my skin, washing away the dirt and leaving small suds behind.
Opening my eyes, I looked into Bryant’s. I was so grateful we’d found our way back to each other. My eyes raked down his body, falling upon a tattoo on his left arm that hadn’t there four years ago. I reached over to turn his body a bit, so I could see it better and gasped as the tattoo came into view. Stretching over his bicep around to his shoulder blade was a detailed angel wing cradling a baby with Angelica above it in a curly font. I kissed the tattoo as the tears fell from my eyes, grazing my fingers over the angel wings and baby.
Expired Regrets Page 19