Ever (The Ever Trilogy)

by Jessa Russo

  Of course this would be the time Toby chose to try his luck with me a second time. I was sure he’d be rethinking the notion, the longer he had to think about my awkwardness from yesterday. Apparently not. Seeing me now, I was sure he would reconsider.

  As I got out of the car, I quickly considered my options. I could bury my head in the dirt and stay there. Forever. Like a sopping wet ostrich stuck in the sand.

  I could jump back into my car and drive away like a madwoman. Hmmm. Nope. One glance told me that would be impossible since Jessie’s bug was parked behind me in the driveway. Oh! I know! I could run away on foot since the car wasn’t an option. I glanced down the street, pondering the idea.

  “Hey.”

  Aw man, too late. Option D it was then: say hello.

  He leaned against the trunk of my magnolia tree, with what I guessed was his trademark nonchalance oozing off him. His dark sunglasses hid his eyes again, much to my dismay. I just wanted a little peek, that’s all. I don’t think that was too much to ask for.

  “Um, hi,” I said, self-consciously running a hand over my wet hair. I looked over at Jessie and … uh oh.

  With a sly smile on her face, she looked back and forth between Toby and me, and I just knew I was about to regret not running away down the street. I knew her too well, and I knew I was in trouble. She elbowed me and stepped forward with her hand extended and her beauty queen smile plastered across her face. I glanced down the street once more, considering my escape.

  “Hi there! I’m Jessica Lynn Smith—Ever’s best friend—but you can call me Jessie. And you are?”

  Not like she didn’t already know. I closed my eyes for a second, wishing to be anywhere else.

  “Hey, I’m Toby. I just moved in next door.”

  “Toby … ?”

  “James. Toby James.”

  “Fantastic! Well, Toby James, Ever was just telling me how much she’d love to show you around.”

  I gasped.

  “Wouldn’t you, Ev?”

  Oh god. Why? Why would she do this to me? Couldn’t I go on loving Frankie in peace? I wasn’t hurting anyone! So our relationship was weird and fruitless; who cares?

  Proud of herself to no end, and no doubt mentally giving herself a high-five, Jessie giggled while she walked backward into the house, leaving me to come up with something more to say to Toby. She’d just started a conversation, volunteered me to show him around, and left.

  I’m going to kill her.

  “So, um, thanks for the flowers. How did you know they were my favorite?”

  “I didn’t.”

  Um, okay. That’s weird. “Hmm, well, they’re not really your run-of-the-mill daisies, so I guess I just thought it was strange, but …” I paused, waiting for him to say something that would make the obscure flower choice make sense, but he just stared at me. “Well, um, thanks.”

  “Sure.”

  Since that was about the extent of what I could come up with to say, I was just staring at him, and he was staring at me. I swear Jessie’s words still lingered out there, threatening to make me commit to a date.

  On a side note, and regardless of how much I told myself to ignore it, he was seriously gorgeous. I was completely in awe of him, and again, that anticipation in my belly tried to stretch its fingers and crawl to the surface, right into my carefully guarded heart.

  He wore another all-black ensemble, and I couldn’t help but swoon over him. This time, he’d topped his t-shirt with a faded black leather jacket, which was completely out of place in the spring warmth, but he looked amazing in it, so why question his choice? He was a few inches taller than me—long and lean, but muscular. The image of seeing his arms for the first time flashed through my mind, and I wished he’d left his jacket at home so I could see them again. Ah hell. What is happening here? I should go inside.

  His hair was damp, and I figured he’d just stepped out of the shower. My thoughts slipped further out of my control, and I found myself pondering what brand of shampoo he used. From that thought, I headed straight into total creep status and contemplated what kind of soap he used. I wanted to lean in and smell him, but luckily, that little voice inside me warned that doing so would be the end of whatever was hopefully coming my way with my new neighbor Toby. I considered ignoring the voice again, but decided against it.

  After a moment, I realized Toby was analyzing me just as much as I was analyzing him. My breath caught in my throat.

  “You’re all wet.”

  Shit.

  His head tilted slightly to one side, and the smirk returned to his face as he waited for me to explain my appearance. I had forgotten what I looked like—and what I must smell like. A wet dog, I reminded myself. Instantly, both hands were in my hair, trying to smooth it out, and he watched with amusement as my car keys tangled briefly in the matted mess. Well, I was glad someone was enjoying my discomfort.

  “You work at the Animal Shelter?”

  Oh no! I do smell like a wet dog!

  My face must have given away my shock, because he quickly pointed to my chest and added, “Your name tag? You’re still wearing it. Was there a flood today?”

  “Oh, wow. I’m sorry! I don’t normally look like this! I was giving one of the dogs a bath, and then, well, you can see what happened. Let me go change! I’ll be right back!”

  I turned away from him without a second thought, knowing only that I had to get out of the drenched, dog-hair-covered clothing immediately—before I died of embarrassment right there on my front lawn.

  I was almost to the door when he caught up to me.

  “Hey, Ever, wait,” he said, as he reached for my elbow to slow me down.

  I may have actually skidded to a stop at the feel of his hand on my skin, but luckily, when I looked down at my feet, my heels weren’t smoking, and I hadn’t left any grooves in the cement. Phew.

  He glanced briefly behind me to my house.

  I panicked, picturing Frankie’s face at the window.

  “Can I come in?”

  “What? No!” Easy there, turbo, no need to alarm him. He looked taken aback by my sharp response, so I tried again, a bit more calmly. “No, sorry, not right now. I gotta go. Sorry.”

  “Wait up. Was your friend telling the truth about you wanting to take me out tonight?”

  “Tonight?” And there they were: Jessie’s words coming back to bite me. My hands were in my hair again. I had to force myself to bring them back down to my sides. Damn that nervous habit. My cheeks flared. Ugh. Damn that one too.

  Why is he asking me out again? I lied to him when he’d asked before, but obviously he had no way of knowing that. I was trying to come up with another lie, another way of getting out of going on a date with him, when my mouth opened up against my control and said the word I was trying to avoid, but deep down wished I’d said yesterday.

  “Yes.”

  “Great,” he said with a grin. He was clearly pleased by my response, which in turn left me pleased by his smile, and soon we were both grinning at each other like fools.

  I mentally cursed myself. And Jessie. This was all her fault.

  “You don’t have school tomorrow or anything, right?”

  “Well, yeah, I do. Wait, no. I don’t go to regular school. But, I mean, I don’t. I don’t have school tomorrow. It’s Spring Break anyway. Sure. I can go out, I guess. Let me go change first though.”

  His smile grew at my choppy, nervous response.

  “Cool. Your boyfriend won’t mind?”

  “Um … no. I don’t really … .”

  “It’s cool. You don’t have to explain. See you here in an hour or so?”

  “Cool. Yeah.” And, just like that, I was back to those single syllable responses.

  I was bursting with excitement, and I couldn’t ignore the feeling even though I desperately wanted to. As I walked inside, a huge smile stretched and distorted my face. I imagined I resembled something of a clown. A big, dumb, goofy clown who’d just accepted a date with a gu
y she barely knew. A guy who wasn’t Frankie.

  At least Jessie would be happy. I forced myself to walk in slowly, trying desperately to mimic Toby’s perpetual nonchalance, but of course, I tripped coming in the door. I didn’t turn around to see if he noticed—best to act like it didn’t happen. A quick glance around the living room showed me that Frankie was nowhere in sight, but I still tried to act as casual as possible as I walked down the hall, just in case he appeared before I got to my room.

  Once inside my room, with the door closed, I could no longer keep my excitement at bay.

  “I have a date! I have a date!” I squealed in as close to a whisper as I could muster, not wanting to be overheard. Jessie was sitting on the bed, flipping through a magazine, and she looked up at me with a doe-eyed expression of mock surprise.

  “Let me guess … you have a date?” she asked with a giggle.

  “Shh!”

  “Why are we whisp—?” she looked at me and sighed. “Oh, okay. I’ll play along. So, I guess we’re not having dinner tonight, huh?” Shaking her head and laughing as she gathered her things, she started to head for the door.

  “Shoot. I forgot! You’re not mad, are you, Jess? I’ll cancel if … .”

  “Oh, Ever! Are you kidding me? New Hottie on The Block wants to take you out, and I’m going to make you stay? Yeah right! Please, it was me who had to practically throw you at him to even get you to wise up! I knew the second I saw all that black … and those motorcycle boots”—she grimaced—”he’s totally perfect for you. And you know what, Ev, maybe this is just what you need to get your mind off certain other things.”

  She nodded toward my closed bedroom door, though I needed no clarification. I knew exactly what other things she referred to because she’d been trying to get me to forget about Frankie for as long as I could remember. She wasn’t a big believer in loving a guy you couldn’t have or pining after a guy who didn’t show interest. Both of which applied to Frankie.

  As she exited my room, she said, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t … wait, never mind. Do everything!” She winked at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “And call me the second you get home!”

  I was starting to undress for my shower when the door opened slightly and Jessie popped her head back through the doorway.

  “And do not wear those hideous old boots, Ever. I mean it!”

  I don’t think I’ve ever gotten ready for anything so fast in my life. I showered, put my hair up in a twist, and played a quick round of What’s In Ever’s Closet? in front of my mirror, all the while wishing my pinktastic human best friend was still there to help me. I silently thanked my lucky stars my other ghostly best friend was nowhere to be found. Somehow, I couldn’t picture Frankie being as excited about my date as Jessie had been, even if he didn’t see me that way, and I really didn’t want that guilt knot returning to my stomach.

  I applied a bit of makeup, though not much more than the usual mascara and lip-gloss, and remarkably, I was out the door in less than thirty minutes. I was incredibly proud of myself for having a couple minutes to spare, but time to spare or not, Toby was already outside waiting for me. Damn.

  Wow.

  He rested casually on the hood of a classic Ford Mustang parked on the street, halfway between both of our houses. Sleek and smooth and shiny black, with red leather interior, I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about getting inside. My Civic was my baby, and though she was old, she was far from a classic—an old beast of a car.

  He wore the same outfit from an hour ago, but I noticed, a bit happily, that the jacket was nowhere in sight. He pushed up off the car, glancing briefly past me to my house, and I again had an image of Frankie pop into my mind and a strange, unsettling feeling fell over me. But as Toby approached me, looking me over with an approving smile, that thought was almost instantly forgotten. His smile did funny things to my insides, and the way he kept trying to get his hair out of his eyes made me want to touch it. His V-neck t-shirt was snug-fitting and showed lean muscles underneath it, and my eyes were drawn to the groove in his collarbone.

  “Wow. You look great.”

  Funny, I had been thinking the same thing about you.

  “Oh, thanks.” I checked my hair with my hands, making sure it was still tucked neatly into a twist, then took my purse off my shoulder to get inside the car.

  I had settled on a red tunic, instead of my usual black, feeling a little adventurous … though not adventurous enough to skip the leggings. I had my limits. I’d grabbed my favorite red rose earrings, which I’d bought last year at the swap meet from a boutique specializing in Dia de Los Muertos merchandise, as a last minute addition. In the end, I’d somewhat reluctantly swapped my beat-up black boots for some black gladiator-style sandals that my mom insisted I buy to be part of my spring wardrobe a few weeks ago. Between Jessie making it a point to forbid me to wear my favorite boots, and since my mom was always getting on me about them as well, I figured wearing the sandals obliged them both, whether or not they were there to see it happen.

  “I guess it’s a step up from sopping wet and smelling like dog, huh?”

  “I kinda liked you sopping wet. And you smell nothing like dog.”

  Cue my red cheeks.

  With that comment, he shut the door, and I was in the car alone for a few seconds as he walked around to his side. I took a few deep breaths and ordered my heart to quit racing.

  Once he was inside, Toby took off his sunglasses and leaned over the center console, reaching for the glove box. I waited to see what he was doing, when his hand grazed my knee just slightly. I sucked in a quick breath at the slight touch. Reaching past me, he retrieved the case for his sunglasses. I exhaled a bit too loudly, completely unaware I’d been holding my breath, and he stopped what he was doing, turning his head sideways to look at me. That sexy half-smile was on his face again.

  With mere inches between us, I looked into his eyes for the first time. They were strikingly dark blue, almost midnight. It was such a contrast from his dirty blond hair that I wouldn’t have believed the combination would work.

  Oh, it works.

  It worked so well, in fact, I was half-tempted to smash his sunglasses into smithereens so he could never hide his eyes behind them again. But that would be weird.

  “Where to, Ever?”

  I was mesmerized looking into those eyes. I was so used to Frankie’s—so translucent and almost far away, even when they were right in front of my face. Toby held eye contact with an intensity that made lightning shoot through my body, clear down into my toes. It felt like every inch of me was alive, and the butterflies in my stomach intensified.

  Damnit, I’m holding my breath again.

  “Ever?”

  With a slight shake of my head, and a sigh I’m sure he heard, I snapped myself back into the here and now. If I kept getting dumbstruck around him, he would definitely decide there was something very wrong with me.

  “Oh, I don’t know, uh … .”

  “Well, hey, I’m new around here, right? And your friend did say you wanted to show me around a bit, right?”

  “Yeah, um, okay, let’s see … where are you from originally?”

  “Not around here.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but where exactly is ‘not around here?’”

  He was still just inches away from me, and I found it hard to focus with his face so close to mine. When he smiled, I was shocked to discover that I had a barely resistible urge to kiss him. Whoa. Slow down, Ever. I wondered where the new brazen side of me had come from all of the sudden. Especially since I didn’t even know the first thing about kissing boys.

  “Montana. I’m from Butte, Montana.”

  “Montana, huh? Okay, so no beaches. Hmm. Have you ever even seen the ocean? Like, on a vacation or something?”

  “Nope. I guess I’m pretty sad, huh?”

  “Yes!”

  He leaned back into his seat, looking at me sideways with that perpetual smirk still on his fa
ce, and I realized my blunder.

  “Oh my gosh. I mean, no! You’re not sad! It’s sad! I can’t even imagine growing up away from the ocean. Okay, we’re heading to the beach. Take Chapman up to the 55 heading west, and it will take us all the way to PCH. That’s Pacific Coast Highway, if you don’t know.”

  “Highway 1, right?”

  “Yeah. Exactly. Except we don’t really call it that. I’ll tell you where to go from there.”

  As we pulled away from our neighboring houses, a flash of something caught my eye from my living room window, but when I looked back there was nothing—or no one—there.

  Frankie.

  Toby and I talked a little on the way to the coast, and I pointed out a few key places—like all the nearest Starbucks, and my favorite little hole-in-the-wall place for breakfast burritos—but mostly we rode in silence and listened to music. His car had a place to plug in his iPod, and he handed it to me right away to scroll through. The songs were in alphabetical order, so it didn’t take me long to find out that, like Jessie and me, he also liked the Black Keys. It’s my lucky day. He’s gorgeous and he has great taste in music. Seriously? I guessed Jessie wasn’t the devil incarnate for making me go out with him after all.

  Once we hit PCH, I had him head south to Laguna Beach. We found a spot to park on one of the residential side streets that luckily didn’t have parking meters … since neither of us could find any quarters. Toby parked the Mustang, and we set out to Tablerock Beach on foot. He didn’t touch me or grab my hand on the way down to the beach, but I swear I felt his close proximity to me in my entire body. I’m sure that was only due to my nerves and excitement, but I was lit up like I’d been plugged into a wall socket—currents dancing happily just below the surface of my skin. I had the usual Frankie guilt, sure, but everything else about being near Toby was so thrilling that I was a bit annoyed I hadn’t followed Jessie’s advice before now. If going out on a date with a hot guy was this exciting, I’d been missing out.