by A. M. Kusi
“How many fingers do you see?” asked Sandra, making the sign for peace with her hand.
“Two,” Harper answered.
“Have you eaten today?” Sandra asked.
“Not really.”
“I’ll go get you some water.” Sandra disappeared and returned a couple minutes later with a paramedic.
Harper was still lying in his arms, and tried to sit up. “I’m okay. I just didn’t eat today and haven’t felt good.” Having his arms around her brought him relief, but also pain. Was this only temporary? Could she ever forgive him?
The paramedic was joined by another two, and they asked Harper questions, took her blood pressure, and shined a light in her eyes.
“Do you have any preexisting conditions we should know about?” the first paramedic asked.
Harper looked around the room anxiously. “I do, but I would like some privacy.”
“What? Sweetie, what is going on?” Sandra asked nervously.
“I want some privacy please,” Harper said, more adamantly.
Sandra looked hurt, but complied and left the room with David. Jax didn’t move an inch.
“You too,” she said, leaning towards him for a fleeting second.
“I’m not leaving you.” He wrapped his arm protectively around her. The energy buzzing between them only overridden with his primal need to protect her. “Whatever this is, we can face it together,” he promised.
“Please go,” she begged, almost in a whisper now.
“Sir, the patient has asked for privacy and we need you to come with us so we can give her the care she needs,” the second paramedic said.
Even though it tore him to pieces inside, Jax leaned down and kissed her forehead before standing up and walking outside the room to wait with her parents.
“Why didn’t she want me in the room?” Sandra asked David who had his arms around her comfortingly. “It’s because of what happened with River. She doesn’t trust me anymore.” Sandra let a tear escape before she buried her head in her husband’s chest.
Jax was out of place. He was intruding on a private moment, but he was stuck where he was, waiting for Harper.
A few awkward and nervous minutes passed while he paced in the hallway before the paramedics opened the door and led Harper out to the ambulance parked in the street.
Harper kept her gaze on the floor, and she held onto one of the paramedics for balance as she passed Jax. He wanted to reach out to her.
“What is going on?” Sandra asked.
“I’m just dehydrated, Mom. I’ll go get some fluids and come back home. I’ll be fine.” she tried to assure her mom.
“I’ll come with you,” Sandra said, grabbing her purse.
Harper didn’t argue.
Jax was overwhelmed with helplessness, as they loaded Harper into the ambulance. “I’ll come to the hospital.”
“Don’t bother,” Harper said. “You and my dad have a lot of stuff to work out, I’m sure.”
“That can wait,” he argued.
She sat up enough to look at him, he found no emotion in her gaze. She seemed numb towards him. She had given up hope on him.
The paramedics shut the door, blocking his view of the woman he loved—the woman he most assuredly had lost.
On the drive to the hospital, Jax thought back to everything he had read on cervical cancer. Harper was fatigued, even sleeping while at work. She had dark circles under her eyes and always looked tired. She had lost weight, and those were just the symptoms he had observed from afar. She’d had an extra period that one month. Panic seized his chest.
Harper had cancer. That was what she meant by things being more complicated now.
He slammed the car into park when he got to the emergency department and raced through the doors to the information desk, asking to see Harper. Because he wasn’t family, he was made to sit in the waiting room. He texted River to let him know what had happened, seeing if his friend could get an update for him since Harper had turned her phone off.
A couple of hours went by while he paced in the crowded room. Every time he asked the nurse, she said they were not ready for visitors yet and she couldn’t give him an update.
He waited another thirty minutes before he went to the front desk again to ask to speak with Sandra Parker, the patient’s mother.
“I’m sorry. They were discharged already.”
Jax ran a trembling hand over the back of his neck, trying to stay calm. He took a deep breath to gather himself and not freak out on this woman who was only doing her job, though not terribly well. “Why was I never called in? I waited for hours.”
“The patient specifically said no visitors,” the woman at the desk said firmly.
Jax didn’t waste another second. He got in his car and headed back to the Parkers’ house. She wasn’t there either. Sandra said she went home to rest.
Jax drove the few miles to Harper’s apartment. Her car was gone, but he tried knocking anyway. No answer. He tried her phone and it went straight to voicemail. He was at a dead end. Using his spare key to her house, he let himself in and found her suitcases gone and her drawers empty.
Where was she?
***
Harper laid curled up in Isa’s bed while her friend brought her a cup of peppermint tea.
“I wish we were lesbians, because you would be perfect for me,” Harper said, smiling weakly.
Isa laughed. “Seems that would be easier on us, wouldn’t it?” She took the cover off the pint of mint cookie crumble ice cream and handed Harper a spoon.
They each took a bite before Isa said, “It sounds like Jax was ready to follow through on his promise.”
When Jax had said he would meet her at the hospital, she thought of the conversation she had interrupted between her father and him. He had gotten everything he wanted. She wouldn’t take that from him, nor would she punish herself by hoping he would actually put her first. She felt only numbness towards his hollow promises now. Even if he did follow through, it would ruin her parents’ plans of fulfilling their dream.
“Yes, but if he does then my parents will flip out and cancel their travel plans. It’s my mom’s dream to take a year exploring the different countries of the world. My dad would not be able to leave the company.”
Isa finished a bite of ice cream before asking, “How do you know? Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think. Sure, you guys hid a relationship behind their back, but that’s not the end of the world if he loves you and wants to be with you. I don’t see the problem. I think you might be making this out to be bigger than it is in your head because you are scared and used to being a people pleaser.”
“He told me his parents would never accept me.” Harper looked down as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream.
“You also said that his mother seemed kind. Maybe they just need time to get to know you.”
“He said I was a spoiled princess.”
“Ouch.”
“There is no way he would choose me over this opportunity. He has been clear from the start that his career came first. I went into the relationship knowing that. When he found out River quit the company to move to Vermont with Ella, he flipped out. He couldn’t believe my brother would have given up such an opportunity because of a woman.”
“I wish you would just talk to him and stop avoiding him. You are kinda doing what River did.”
“I just hoped he would do something to prove to me he was ready to choose me. He has had months. Besides, it isn’t as simple anymore.”
“You mean because of the aggressive growing tumor in your uterus that is sucking the life from you?” Isa asked bluntly.
Harper inhaled sharply, and tears welled in her eyes. “Most of all, yes. I can’t afford temporary anymore.”
Isa rubbed her shoulders comfortingly and asked, “So
why don’t you talk to him?”
“I just want one more Christmas where all is well for my family. River is happy and about to propose to Ella. My parents are looking forward to their trip. I just want to pretend everything is okay until after the holidays. Then I will tell them everything.
“You told your mom though?”
“After I swore her to secrecy.”
“Well, that’s something. River is going to propose?” Isa asked, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow. I’m going to drive up in the morning. I went home and packed before I came here.”
“Well, maybe what you need is some relaxing time in the green mountains of Vermont.”
“Maybe.”
Chapter 31
Jax had no way to reach Harper, so he went home to his parents’ house. His mother was sitting at the table with her father, eating dinner, when he walked into the kitchen.
“This is the best thing I have eaten since my heart attack. No offense, honey, but I was getting real sick of salad and fish,” Clive said, putting another bite of ravioli in his mouth.
“Come eat, Jax. I already have a plate here for you,” his mother called.
He washed his hands at the sink, defeat and concern for Harper winding his insides in knots. He was frustrated that he couldn’t get a hold of her. His last sparks of hope seemed to be slipping through his hands faster than he could grasp it.
He took a seat at the table and scooped himself some of the pasta; another memory of her. Jax took a bite, not expecting for his food to taste like much. Nothing had since he and Harper had gone their separate ways.
Shocked by the explosion of flavor on his taste buds. He recognized where he had tasted it before almost instantly. “Harper was here?”
His mother asked, “Why would you think that?”
“Because she made this for me before, but with a different filling.”
“When did she do that?” she pressed.
His mother was not going to let him out of this. “Harper and I were dating for a couple months. She made it for me a few times.”
“I guess you have your answer then,” Olive said.
His father interjected, “If I knew she could cook like this, I might have asked her over for dinner before.”
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. At least with your father, it worked.” His mother laughed and patted his father’s hand.
The memory of Harper using the same phrase came back to him. “When was she here?”
“Earlier, right after you left to go to David’s. What did he have to say? Does he know you were dating his daughter, or were you both lying to your parents?” she asked directly.
Jax looked down, ashamed, buying time with another bite of pasta. “He doesn’t know. He offered me a CEO position—to run the whole business while he semi-retires.” Somehow, telling his parents didn’t feel as great as he’d always thought it would. He had everything he wanted for his career sitting on a silver platter, but it meant nothing without Harper in it.
His dad’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “That’s great, son!”
“Once he finds out about Harper and I…I lied to him and River, and made Harper go along with it. He won’t trust me after I tell him.”
“Only one way to find out. Is she worth it, son? Worth giving up everything you ever dreamed of having?” Clive asked.
Olive spoke first. “Everything your father dreamed of you having too.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes. She is everything.”
“So, tell her. I saw the look in her eyes; she loves you, but she is trying to let you go. You need to do something about that before she does,” Olive said matter-of-factly.
“I can’t find her. She fainted at her parents’ house and then went to the hospital. I waited for hours, but they left before I got the chance to see her. She isn’t at home, or her parents’, and her phone is off.”
“Give it the night. She obviously doesn’t want to be found right now.”
“I’ll call River. Maybe he knows where she is.”
The next morning, Jax got out of his bed at a reasonable hour. He’d tossed and turned all night, but he knew what he had to do. The reason he’d got the offer in the first place was because of things Harper had brought out in him. He wasn’t as flexible before her. He would never have disagreed with David before her. Harper drew out the best in him, and what had he given her?
Jax took a shower and grabbed his keys before heading to David Parker’s house. He finally understood how he could prove he was serious and that he would choose Harper once and for all.
David was carrying a suitcase down the stairs to their car when he arrived.
“Mr. Parker?” Jax asked.
“Jaxton. Surprised to see you here. What can I help you with?” David asked, setting the suitcase into the back of their car.
“How is Harper?”
“Sandra said she was doing good last she talked to her. We are all headed to Vermont for Christmas. River is going to propose this evening; did he tell you?” David asked.
“Yes, that’s right.”
David looked Jax in the eyes. “Was there something else you needed from me?”
Jax took a deep breath. “I needed to tell you that I am completely honored by your offer, but I can’t accept the job.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want to take longer to think about it?” David asked, shocked.
“I’m sure.”
David scratched his head. “I really thought that you would thrive in that position.”
“I would. It is more than I would have ever hoped for. But I can’t take it because of a conflict of interest.”
“What conflict of interest? Are you going to work for a competitor?”
“No. I promise to tell you, but there is someone else I need to speak with first.”
David seemed to think about it for a moment before answering, “Okay. I trust you, Jaxton. I hope we can clear this thing up when I get back from River’s engagement and the holiday.”
David’s words cut straight to his heart. “I value your trust, sir, but I don’t deserve it,” Jax said hurriedly, turning and walking away before David could say anything else.
***
Harper sat at the picnic table, sipping a hot chocolate while the snow fell. The lights and holiday music made the small Vermont town look like something out of a Thomas Kinkade painting.
River took Ella’s hand. This was the moment they were all gathered at the Stowe ice rink for. Harper looked over to see her parents hand in hand, skating towards the tall trees and lit-up snowman family as the music changed to “Marry Me” by Train. River had asked for Harper’s help in choosing the most perfect way to propose to Ella. She liked his girlfriend the more she got to know her. Ella made her brother happy and gave him the courage to leave expectation behind and forge his own way in life, chasing his dreams.
Jax had done that for her too. He’d brought organization to her creative chaos. He’d encouraged her and believed in her writing without even reading a word. It was her that he really believed in. They had their share of problems, but he did encourage her to chase after what she wanted.
Ella cried and said she would marry River as Harper’s own tears slid down her face. She was happy for her brother. Seeing the couple together, their eyes glistening with affection for one another, she couldn’t help but dwell on how much she still truly loved Jax.
Looking back, she could understand what had happened in the wine cellar had been a reflex. Maybe she’d wanted an excuse to stay mad at him because it was safer for her. His actions had felt like rejection, and loving him meant she would have to risk being hurt again. Maybe it was her turn to be brave, to find the confidence she’d had when she’d pursued him in the very beginning, before everything got so tangled.
&n
bsp; She’d felt good telling her mother what the doctor had said. It was time to tell Jax and then everyone else. To stop hiding and avoiding her new reality.
That night, when she got back to The Orchard Inn, she would turn on her phone and call Jax.
After everyone said their goodbyes at the skating rink, they decided to take the party back to the inn for celebratory drinks.
Harper entered the inn, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She went straight into her room to find her phone. Her stomach fluttered with nervous butterflies as she pressed the power button and waited for the phone to load. After a minute, several missed calls, voicemails, and text messages pinged through. She would look at them later. What was more important was calling Jax.
She dialed the number and listened to it ring as there was a knock to the door of her room.
“Harper?” Jax answered, sounding worried.
“Jax, I need to talk to you.”
“I need to talk to you too.”
Another knock sounded at her door.
“Hold on a second, Jax.” She opened the door to see Ella’s blond friend, Maggie, outside. “You are needed in the kitchen immediately.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Harper said.
“Everyone is waiting for you, and I’m not supposed to return without you,” Maggie pressed.
“Okay.” Harper spoke into the phone, “I have to go, but I’ll call you back in a little while.” Harper hung up the phone.
She followed Maggie to the kitchen and walked in to see everyone staring at her. “What did I miss?”
“I’m sorry it took me this long to do this,” a familiar deep voice rumbled from behind her, shaking the very earth she stood on.
She turned. Jax stood there looking disheveled like he hadn’t slept in days. Concern marred his features, but he was still as sexy as ever. Her heart fluttered as apprehension squeezed her belly.