But who said he had to be lonely while he waited?
He held out his arm. "Won't you join me?" he asked.
"Join you? To go where?" she asked, blinking her beautiful dark eyes in confusion.
He couldn't help himself and kissed her cheek.
She jerked back as if shot.
"I'm sorry." He hated that he unnerved her. "I did not mean to startle you. I thought… I thought wrong. Excuse me."
"I was surprised, that's all," she said coolly.
Neil smiled. "I can surprise you more if you like. Lunch at my place?"
She hesitated.
"Or at a restaurant?" he offered.
"A restaurant," she said firmly.
He held out his arm once more.
She walked past.
Two long strides and he caught up to her. "Tell me about this Nathaniel."
She stiffened.
"Or not. Bad form. Never mention another man when you're dating a beautiful woman."
Shauna rolled her eyes. "We aren't dating, and he was my fiancé."
"What happened to him?"
She hesitated. "He's alive but dead."
"In a coma," he surmised.
"In a way," she muttered.
"I am sorry."
"Stop saying that."
He frowned. "I… do not mean offense. I wish for there to be peace between us."
Peace is our objective.
"Peace for the entire world, right?" she grumbled.
Neil beamed. "Precisely so."
They walked to the black car his chauffeur drove, and he took them to an Italian restaurant a few streets over. The chauffeur handled their bill and got them a table so they would not have to wait.
Neil walked to the table first. Good. It was in the corner. He claimed the seat that allowed him to watch the door and the rest of the customers.
They talked about nothing of importance until dessert when she brought up Grotto's Bay.
"Have you ever been?" she asked.
"I am from there."
"Oh?" She lowered her voice and asked, "Are you a Hidden Serpent?"
He grinned. "I should not say either way."
"Or are you a Marine?"
Perplexed, Neil blinked. "What would make you think that?"
"You sit so proper. You shoulders back. You're too formal to not be a military man. You gaze around the room as if looking for threats."
"How do you know these signs?"
"I am a Green Beret," she said calmly. "I know how to kill a man barehanded. This cannoli is too much. Would you like some of mine?"
"If you feed it to me."
She stared at him, unmoving.
"I will not flirt with you anymore. I will not apologize because you asked me not to, but you are beautiful."
"You have no claim on me."
"None. I hate Nathaniel," he blurted. "You love him, and I appreciate your loyalty to him."
Wordlessly, she handed him his plate.
Once they finished their meal, they walked to the car. "My driver can take you home," he offered. "Or back to the therapist's parking lot so you can retrieve your car."
"I would like to see your place," she surprised him by saying.
His smile slashed across his face. "Wonderful."
Chapter 40
Shauna was frightened, worried, anxious. Spending time with Neil was frightening. Seeing the man who wore her fiancé's face but most certainly was not her fiancé unnerved her.
But Victor had explained to her what undoing programming entailed. Although Nathaniel was not nearly ready to break it free to the surface, she wished to gain Neil's confidence. She wanted Neil to trust her. She longed to be there when Neil disappeared forever.
Stepping foot into Neil's apartment took every ounce of her courage.
"It's not much, but I do not think I will be here long."
She sat on the love seat but only after Neil sat on his couch. "Where will you be going?"
"Where the wind blows me." He grinned.
She yawned. "A huge meal like that always makes me tired. Are you tired?"
A dream. Nathaniel had told her that he'd dreamed of her. If he could remember her subconsciously, then she would have an opening.
I have to reach through to him!
Neil closed his eyes and turned away. Why? Oh. He was trying not to flirt with her. He was drawn to her, that much was clear. Why would a man who was part of a killing machine duo for the Hidden Serpents be willing to hold back on his desires?
Because Nathaniel is still in you? I hope so! God, do I hope so!
"My body does not need sleep," he said. "I hardly rest at all."
"That's not good for the body," she said soothingly. "There's a pharmacy next door. Maybe I can go and get you a sleeping aid."
He stood. "Don't go. I'll get some."
Neil left. She hardly had time to look around the place before he returned. She rushed back to the love seat as he turned the knock and opened the door.
"It says to take two tablets." He poured a bunch into his hand as he kicked the door shut.
"Do you want to overdose?" she cried.
"I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me. I can withstand just about anything." He yawned.
She jumped up and helped him to his bed. As she pulled the cover up over his sleeping form, she could not get over how peaceful he looked.
"You told me once a long time ago that I was your peace," she whispered. A tear trickled down her cheek, but she didn't wipe it away. Let me be your peace again. Let me be all the peace you need."
He slept like the dead and continued to sleep for five hours. After hour four, he began to toss and turn as if trapped in a nightmare. At hour five, he flailed around. She was ready to try to wake him when he murmured, "Shauna West."
Her heart stopped in her throat. She hadn't told him her surname. Had Victor? Not in her presence at least.
"My peace," he whispered.
Shauna burst into tears, finally giving into hope.
Maybe it was the sound of her crying, but Neil woke up then. "Shauna?" he asked.
She nodded, unable to speak.
"What's wrong?"
"Who… Who are you?" she whispered.
He frowned. "I… I don't know."
Maybe it was sympathy tears, but he began to cry too. Shauna climbed into bed, and they held each other.
Just like old times.
Chapter 41
He couldn't. He couldn’t accept it. Who was he? Why couldn’t he remember anything? This woman that he trusted for no reason would not give him answers. She wanted him to recall everything himself. But he couldn't.
Each night, he slept. He would wake up sweating. Once, he even woke up sweating blood. He couldn't recall the dreams though. Nothing was coming back.
Until it did.
And he wanted to die.
Chapter 42
Since that time when he murmured she was his peace, Shauna hardly left his side. He would not call himself by either name, and she called him nothing as well. She did not want to confuse him.
Victor no longer saw him, but she would talk to the therapist. Since she was making the breakthrough, they thought it best she continued on, with Victor's input.
Until and unless he accepted that he had been programmed, until and unless he remembered everything, they remained at a standstill.
This night, it was cold. Shauna would not sleep with him. He insisted she take the bed, and he slept on the couch. The coldness woke her, and she left the bedroom for the living room.
To see a terrible, familiar scene. He was opening his mouth to insert her pistol.
In that instance, she knew. He remembered. He had come back fully.
"Nathaniel Ian Strongarm, don't you dare put that in your mouth! You asked me to marry you. Aren't you a man of your word? Have you no honor?"
He hesitated, and that was all the time she needed to dash over and lower his arm.
"Gi
ve it to me," she demanded.
"Shauna, you don't understand. I don't want to hurt you or anyone else. I'm a liability. I can't risk—"
"You aren't a liability."
"I don't know my triggers! Anything could set me off! Just being here could do it! Leaving the city could! I can't dare ever fly again. I… I can't live like this."
"Listen to me. Can you do that?"
He nodded.
"Good. First, who am I?"
"Shauna Mary West. My beautiful fiancée who I don't deserve. How can you—"
She placed a finger to his lips. Her heart was pounding furiously. The time for undoing the programming was right now. She might not survive it, but she would do whatever it took to set Nathaniel free.
To give him peace.
"I remember everything," he said hoarsely. "My past, the abuse, the torture, the programming. Over and over again. That video, the mantras…"
"Excellent. I need you to trust me."
"Excellent?"
"Focus, Nathaniel. Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Come with me."
Leaving the gun behind on the couch, she led him to the bedroom. She should never have brought it here, but she had been afraid Hidden Serpents here in the States might come for him.
No, she hadn't brought it to use against him. Not even if he tried to kill her.
Well, if he'd tried to kill someone else, then yes, against him.
"You tried to cope with your programming before," she said once they settled onto the bed. "That's not foolproof. Undoing your programming is."
"How is that possible?"
"You have to go back. Go back to when they tortured you, to when they forced you to watch and listen."
"Go back," he repeated dully.
"Go back in your mind. In your memory, you have to fight back. You have to stop the violence. Prevent it from fully happening. If you do that, you'll never be affected again. They will no longer have power over you."
Nathaniel nervously opened and closed his fists. "I don't know if I can handle that."
"You're strong now," she said, rubbing his back. "Impossibly strong."
"Now, yes, but not then. I couldn't. I couldn't handle it. They broke me."
"Don't let them. Give yourself a gun. Hell, have me show up. Have me save your sorry ass."
A ghost of a smile appeared on his face.
"You need to almost… Think of your mind as a DVD. You have to skip back a few chapters to that time. But you are the director now. You can change the movie of your memory. You can take control. Get rid of the threat. Kill the bastards. Free yourself. Bring yourself peace."
"Peace is our—"
She slapped her hand over his mouth. "Don't you dare say that."
He nodded.
Shauna lowered her hand. "Are you ready?"
"No." He gripped her hand and took a deep breath. "Nope. Still not ready."
She tilted his chin and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "Now?"
"I'll try," he said dubiously.
She lifted her eyebrow.
"I'll do it," he said as if he believed himself this time.
He closed his eyes.
All she could do now was wait. Wait and hope to the heavens that he wouldn’t mistake her for one of the perpetrators and kill her to regain himself. Because if that happened, nothing would bring Nathaniel back. Nothing.
Chapter 43
Nathaniel had felt fear before, but nothing could prepare him for the amount of fright he was experiencing in this moment. He was supposed to go back, in his mind, to his worst moments. Experience that pain and agony again.
But this time, he wouldn’t break. This time, he wouldn’t shatter. He would be the one to live and fight another day. He’d define his peace the way he wished to.
Peace is our objective.
His eyes closed. Memories came rushing back. That dark room. The coldness. The guards.
The moment the first guard touched him, Nathaniel fought back, and he fought back hard. His body felt weak from being deprived of food, drink, and sleep, but this time, he could push through it. He shoved one guard into another, yanked a baton out of another’s hands, and cracked it over his head.
Suddenly, Kronston Taer was there. He stood in the doorway. He lifted his arm, aimed his gun, and fired.
Time stood still. Nathaniel watched the bullet fly through the air, spiraling toward him. He plucked it out of the air, turned it around, and released it.
Time sped up again, and the bullet pierced Taer smack dab between the eyes. He fell onto his back.
The other guards in the room turned tail and fled.
But Nathaniel knew he couldn’t return home, not yet. One perpetrator remained.
“Looking for me?”
Nathaniel whirled around to see Doctor Despair standing there, ready to inject him with a syringe. With speed like that of Venom’s Vengeance, Nathaniel blocked the doctor’s arm, seized the syringe, and jammed it into the doctor’s arm. The doctor began to seize and foam at the mouth. Nathaniel rushed over, grabbed Taer’s gun, and shot the doctor dead just to be sure.
He opened his eyes, stared at Shauna, and smiled. “You are my peace.”
She fell into his arms, and he held her.
No unbidden thought came to mind.
He hugged her tight. It would take time before he could truly get over everything that he had experienced. For now, all he wanted to do was hold Shauna, his love.
“You still want to marry me?” he asked.
“Of course!”
“Let’s go now,” he urged. “In my apartment, my real apartment, I have a marriage certificate.”
“You do? But I thought—“
“We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
“We almost waited too long. Yes, yes, Nathaniel, I’ll marry you!”
Epilogue
They married the next day, and two days later, Shauna couldn’t be happier. That is until Nathaniel’s cell went off in the middle of the night. Of course, he was sleeping like a rock, so, muttering under her breath, she grabbed it. An unlisted number showed. For some reason, fear ran down her spine, and she answered the phone.
“Venom’s Vengeance, it’s time. Wake up,” a cold, detached voice said.
Her breath hitched, and the fear erupted into anger. Shauna rushed out of the bedroom for the bathroom. She was so grateful she'd been the one to answer! Eventually, Nathaniel could accept that his tormentors did actually still live. He wasn't at that point. Not yet.
“Listen, Taer," she said angrily. "Is this Taer? Or would you prefer Serpent Scum? Nathaniel is back. He’s not yours anymore. Leave him be. He’s not your Venom’s Vengeance anymore.”
The man laughed heartily. “Oh, my dear. Do not worry. Have no fear! I have others who will make far better Venom’s Vengeance than Neil ever did. Do pass on my regards, won’t you?”
“Only if your regards are that you will miss seeing him in the afterlife because you’re going to hell, and he’s not,” she said sweetly.
He laughed again, his amusement infuriating her. “I can see why he likes you. Very well. Stay out of the coming war yourself, Shauna AAA. If you and Nathaniel step away, I will leave you to be. Unless a nuke hits you. Yes, I know you two married. I had hoped he would… No matter. As I said, I have others. Mark my words, Shauna. Stay away and be safe. Be at peace.”
She hung up, yanked out the battery and the SIM card, and tossed the pieces onto the counter.
Footsteps sounded, and Nathaniel wrapped his arms around her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, my love. Come. Let’s go to bed. In the morning…” She hesitated. “In the morning, we need to talk. I think… I think I’m done with the military.”
“You are?” he asked, surprised. “But you love being a soldier.”
“What about you?” she asked, not wishing to persuade him one way or the other. Taer would not dictate their actions. She had been t
hinking of leaving the military anyhow. So she was moving up the timeline. After the events in Grotto’s Bay, who could blame her?
“I’m done,” he said. “No more. I can’t. I would like to, but I… I saw too much. I experienced too much. I can’t.”
She snuggled against him. “In the morning, we’ll decide our future.”
He kissed the top of her head. “In the morning, we start the rest of our lives together.”
“I love the sound of that.”
The war with the Hidden Serpents was coming. For now, though, their chapter was complete.
Other Books By Nicole Zoltack
The Serpent Experiments
Military Romance
Not on Her Watch
Bedlam in Bethlehem
Cops plus Supernatural Creatures
When Vamps Bite
When Wolves Howl
How to Stake a Vampire
When Sirens Screech
How a Vampire Hunter finds Love in Haunted by Love
How to Slay a Werewolf
How to Silence a Siren
When Cops Prowl
When Loved Ones Die
When Djinn Dream
The First Hack in CyberWar: Digital Battlefield (CyberPrime)
How to Fuel your Revenge in the Summer of Magic Anthology
How to Enjoy a Fang-Free Vacation in the Wicked Magic: A Badass Collection
Once Upon a Darkened Night
Twisted Fairy Tales
Of Cinder and Madness
The Cost of Love
The Cost of Grief
The Cost of Power
Of Slumber and Discord
The Cost of Magic
Of Rose and Cruelty
The Cost of Rage
The Cost of Treachery
The Cost of Enchantment
Of Bones and Ashes
Of Gold and Deceit
The Cost of Dominance
The Cost of Intolerance
Not on Her Watch (The Serpent Experiments Book 1) Page 20