For Your Love

by Vanessa Miller

  ~~~

  “So, what’s our plan for today, old man?” Jarrod enjoyed reminding his father about his age, especially since the elder Reed’s fountain of youth tree had obviously shaved twenty years off the man; he didn’t look a day over fifty, and he was almost seventy.

  “I got your old man. Just let me get you back on that court. I’ll show you who’s the old man and who still has hops.”

  “Oh no you don’t. I’m not about to be the cause of your heart attack. You are not allowed on the basketball court with me or anyone else. Don’t make me tell Yvonne about the last time.” There was no quit in his father. He wasn’t going to lose gracefully and would fight to the bitter end. The last time they shot hoops, his dad worked up such a sweat that he almost dehydrated himself.

  “I beat you that last time and the time before that if I recall correctly,” Thomas said, getting up from behind his desk and putting on his suit jacket.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re the man. Alright, you don’t have to prove yourself to me or anyone else. I mean it, dad. You scared me.”

  Looking guilty as charged, he admitted, “I did overdo it. But that’s only because you provoked me.”

  “Well, I’m good for hanging out, just as long as there’s no sports involved. I get it already. You are better than me in basketball... that’s why you had to pay for all my college fees. If you had made sure I had skills, I could have gotten myself a basketball scholarship. Maybe even gone pro.”

  “Look at you, dreaming big.” Thomas nudged his son toward the door. “I’d say you turned out alright, even better than some of those guys who went pro. Because I guarantee you not many of them have the heart for people that you have.”

  “I wouldn’t mind a few extra dollars along with my heart.”

  “Who wouldn’t, son... who wouldn’t.” They walked out of the church and got in Thomas’s SUV. “I’m doing my hospital visits today, and I wanted some company. You up for it?”

  “Well, since you didn’t tell me until you had me in the car and locked the doors, I guess I’d better go.”

  “You can always say no. I just thought you’d like to see Mrs. Brown.”

  “Deacon Brown’s wife?” When Thomas nodded, Jarrod said, “So you did help with her medical bills?”

  “Ethel is a good woman. She had been attending the church for three decades with her husband. Of course, we helped her.”

  “How is Mrs. Ethel doing?”

  “She had heart surgery a few weeks ago. They had to replace valves because they were so blocked that she could have died at any moment. But she has been steadily improving since the surgery. I believe she will be going home this week.”

  “I’m so glad y’all were able to help her, especially since she will be going home without her husband.”

  “From what the prosecutor told me; Brown is looking at least three to five years. But Ethel has three daughters, and one of them has moved back home to help her during her time of recovery.”

  “Good. But with Mrs. Ethel’s health condition, you can kind of understand how Deacon Brown became so desperate.”

  Thomas didn’t agree with that. “Brown didn’t have to steal from the church or shoot himself to get our help. It was his pride that wouldn’t let him verbalize his needs. He could have received help the right way.”

  “I know about that pride stuff, Dad. I think it has cost me the one woman I truly want to be with.”

  “Toya.” It was a statement, not a question.

  Jarrod’s head jerked toward his father. “You knew?”

  “I’ve known for a long time, Son. What I couldn’t figure out though, was how you messed up the prom thing.”

  Jarrod pounded his skull with his fist and then shook his head as if he was trying to rattle it free or something. “She won’t let me live down that one dumb mistake, Dad. It’s not like Toya is so perfect. She has made mistakes too.”

  “Yeah, but Toya was the one who asked you to the prom. You had her right where you wanted her. All you had to do was take her to prom and then tell her how you felt. But you chose to stand her up. I never said anything to you about it, but you hurt her that day.”

  “I was young. I was confused.” His hands went to his face again. But this time he wasn’t trying to pound some sense into it, he used his open palm to massage his temples. He took a deep breath. “When Toya, Gina and I were planning which college we would attend. I told her that I wanted to attend Howard University.

  “Gina and I both put in our applications to Howard. I thought Toya did too. But she never confirmed. Then, a couple of weeks before the prom, she tells me that she has been accepted at Stanford. She wouldn’t even give me an explanation for why she didn’t apply at Howard like I thought she was going to do.”

  Thomas glanced over at Jarrod as they pulled up to a red light. “I thought you knew.”

  Jarrod shook his head. “Knew what?”

  “David graduated from Stanford. Toya probably picked that school to honor her father.”

  Sighing, Jarrod said, “I guess I can understand that. But what made me so mad at the time was that the three of us filled out the application for Howard University together, but Toya never planned to attend in the first place. She should have just told me. And then I started thinking about how far away she would be for so many years, and I just didn’t see any reason why we should go to the prom and look into each other's eyes on that dance floor. Possibly kiss, and then I would be left to think about that while she partied it up in California... at least, that’s the way my eighteen-year-old self saw the matter.”

  “And now?”

  “Now, I realize how fast time can pass. Now I realize the second chances don’t come so easy.”

  11

  When Toya arrived home, she went into her office, sat down in front of her computer, and began sending out resumes. It was time for her to get back to work, enough of this foolishness. The armor of God protected her, so she didn’t have to be afraid.

  She pulled up her resume to look over it one more time before sending it out. As she read through it, she noticed that she still had information about being the editor of her college newspaper. It wasn’t like she had received any awards for her stellar reporting, and she had no interest in becoming a reporter, so it was time to remove this information from her resume.

  Even as she deleted the entry, Toya smiled at the memory of being a writer on the same newspaper that her father had once served as editor. That probably had something to do with them, allowing her on the paper in the first place.

  Feeling a bit melancholy as she thought of her father, Toya got down on the floor in her office. She pulled one of the four boxes over to her. The boxes had been cluttering her office, waiting to be opened so she could get her home office organized. She wasn’t in the mood to open the box with pictures, vases, and sculptures that would add the official office look to this room. No, the box she opened was full of memories. It held some of the articles she wrote on her school newspaper and some days, when she was thinking about her dad and feeling sad, she read those articles out loud as if she were reading them to him.

  “What’s this?” She picked the packet up, opened it, and put the contents on her desk. “Wow, am I a pack rat or what?” She was staring at not just one, but two of her college acceptance letters.

  Toya looked heavenward as she thought about her beloved father. The man who took her to her first dance, who bandaged her knee when she bruised it and who made her and Tia feel like he loved them more than anything or anyone. She looked at the wall directly in front of her desk where her Stanford University degree hung. Toya still remembered the day she made the decision to attend...

  Toya, girl, get down here and eat some breakfast. You do not want to take your exams on an empty stomach, I can promise you that.” Her father yelled up the stairs.

  “Dad, I don’t have time to eat breakfast. And besides, mom is out of town, preaching somewhere.”

  “I made breakf
ast, now get down here.”

  Her father was no cook. She wished he would stop trying. But with her mother’s popularity growing on the preaching circuit, he had been standing in as the house cook a couple times a week lately. Why didn’t he just order in or take them out for breakfast and dinner? That would be better than eating the weird concoctions he came up with.

  One morning he actually thought that she and Tia would eat lumpy grits and baloney sandwiches for breakfast. Then later that night, he came up with bacon sandwiches and jello. Why was he torturing himself and his daughters? Toya was just going to tell him to stick to the things he was good at and order pizza for dinner.

  But when she stepped into the kitchen and found a table spread with eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausage and hash browns, she said, “Did you hire a cook?”

  “No silly, your mom got back home late last night. We are celebrating this morning, she wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

  “Oh really, what exactly are we celebrating?”

  “Just hold on, eat your breakfast. Your mom will be back in the kitchen, and we will let both of you know what’s going on.”

  “Dig in, Toya. The food is really good this morning,” Tia told her.

  Toya filled her plate as she wondered what could be so important that her mother would get on a plane after preaching so that she could be home this morning. She normally didn’t come back home until the day after her speaking engagement.

  Yvonne Milner strutted into the kitchen wearing a long flowing house gown, her mother was beautiful and regal all in one. There was an envelope in both her hands, she laid them in front of Toya and stood back. “Your dad told me what arrived in the mail yesterday and I begged him not to open them with you until I was here. I hope you’re not too mad about waiting an extra day.”

  Toya glanced down at the envelopes in front of her. One was from Stanford University, and the other was from Howard. “They both came yesterday?”

  Her dad looked a bit sheepish as he confessed, “The Howard University letter came about three days ago. Stanford arrived yesterday.”

  “I was wondering why I didn’t receive a letter from Howard. Because Gina and Jarrod both have their acceptance letters already.”

  “I didn’t want you to make a rash decision before knowing whether or not you were accepted at Stanford.” Her Dad stood before her, eyes pleading for understanding. “It just would mean so much to me if you went to Stanford, like your old man.”

  “Well, we don’t know if I was accepted to either school. So, let’s just see what these letters say first, okay?” Toya didn’t want to disappoint her father, but if Stanford rejected her, she could go to Howard with her friends, and that would be that.

  She opened the Howard letter first. Gina and Jarrod got in. Her grades were as good as theirs, so she hoped that Howard was impressed with her application too. And they were. She read the letter to her parents, confirming that Howard wanted her too.

  “Now open the other one,” her father said.

  That was the day that changed things for her and Jarrod. She’d never told Jarrod that she had been accepted to Howard as well as Stanford. What would have been the use? Her father had been so happy when he discovered that she had been accepted to his Alma Mater. She just couldn’t take that joy away from him by deciding on another school.

  Toya hadn’t known what the future would hold for her father. She didn’t know that he would pass away just a few years after she graduated, so in hindsight, she was glad she chose to keep that smile on her daddy’s face for just a little while longer. She wouldn’t trade anything for how emotional Pastor David Milner had been the day she walked across that platform and took hold of her degree.

  Her decision to be the responsible one also freed Tia to announce to the family that she wasn’t interested in college in the normal sense. She wanted to go to art school, and her parents said yes. Tia was thrilled to be able to drop out of college for art school, while Toya graduated and then went on to law school as she was expected to... now, what was she supposed to do?

  Her phone rang, taking her out of her musings. It was Tia. “Hey girl, I was just thinking about you. How is my beautiful niece?”

  “She is so perfect, Toya. Some days I can’t believe it myself. Mom always said that I was a fussy baby, so I keep waiting for her to do the same to me. You know how they say the same mess you dished out to your parents you get it back double with your kids.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that, but I hope it’s not true.”

  “You and me, both sister.”

  Laughing at her, Toya said, “And you better not yell at Jayden when she does start giving you trouble. You always used to cry and say that mom was mean when she got upset with you.”

  “I know, I really gave that woman a hard time. I probably should send her some flowers or something.”

  “You owe Mom flowers for the next ten years,” Toya told her, still laughing.

  “Yeah, okay, we all know that you were the golden child that did everything right. But I’m grown now and making better choices whether you and mom believe it or not.”

  “Oh, I believe it, Tia. I can see how you’ve grown. It makes me proud to be your big sister.”

  “Don’t make me cry. You’ll make me forget why I called you in the first place.”

  “So, there’s a reason for this call?”

  “Yes, ma’am. You’ll never guess who I saw at the grocery store this morning?”

  “Who?”

  “Don’t you want to guess?”

  “Did you just say that I’ll never be able to guess? So, spill it. Who did you see?”

  “Peter Gallagher.”

  “Who?”

  “Are you an owl or something? You know Peter Gallagher. You dated him in college. For goodness sake, you brought him home to meet mom and dad during Christmas break one year.”

  Toya snapped her finger. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Peter. That man was so dull that I almost fell asleep every time I was around him.”

  “It didn’t look that way when he came home with you for Christmas. You hung all over that man so bad I thought you were going to come home in the summer and announce a pregnancy.”

  “Shut up, Tia. I was not that bad.”

  “Oh yes you were, but not all the time. It was like you barely knew him when it was just the family at the house. But when company came to the house, you were suddenly in love or something.”

  Or something was certainly the case. Because Toya didn’t even like Peter, let alone love him. He was pompous, arrogant, and a know it all. Toya broke up with him two minutes after they arrived back on campus. She never even looked back to wonder what he was doing with his life.

  “He’s the new Dean of Students over at Michigan State University in case you want to know.”

  “Thank you, if I’m ever in need of a dean, I will look him up,” Toya said with much sarcasm in her voice. But when they hung up the phone, Toya realized something that shook her very core.

  Gina told her that Jarrod had come home to confess his love for her during Christmas break junior year. Now she remembered clear as if it had happened yesterday when Jarrod called and told her he wanted to talk to her about something when he and his parents came over for Christmas Eve dinner. Toya had thought he was going to tell her that he and Gina were getting married or talk about how much he loved being with Gina and she just didn’t want to hear it. That was the reason she asked Peter, the obnoxious one, to come home with her for Christmas.

  Jarrod had taken one look at her all hugged up with Peter, and he left the house without having dinner. She thought he had better things to do, but maybe what she had done that year had hurt and confused him. Maybe she owed Jarrod an apology.

  12

  The day of reckoning had finally come. Toya was going to deal with whatever this thing was between her and Jarrod, and she was going to live with the outcome. First, she called Gina and apologized for her behavior the other day.


  “No need for apologies, girl. You and Jarrod need to figure out what you’re doing, so other people won’t keep getting caught in the middle.”

  “You’re right, I know you are. But I felt so foolish when he left me sitting in my living room with my prom dress on and no date.”

  “That’s the past, Toya. Trust me when I tell you that Jarrod has a thing for you. Always has, and probably always will.”

  “But, I’m the one who asked him to prom. So, it stands to reason that he doesn’t think of me like that, and that’s the reason he didn’t want to take me to the prom, right?”

  Gina sighed, wishing her friend would just get this already. “I don’t know why he didn’t show up for your date way back in high school. But I do know what he confessed to me when we were in college. So, like I said, the two of you need to talk and leave the rest of us out of it.”

  Toya had done damage to her friendship with Gina. She constantly put Gina on the back burner whenever she perceived the slightest of infractions where Jarrod was concerned. But it was time to stop blaming Gina because things didn’t turn out the way she had hoped. Anyway, she had never expressed her true feelings for Jarrod to Gina or anyone else for that matter. Toya had matured enough to own her faults and missteps.

  “I promise you, right here and now that I will never let anything or anyone else come between our friendship.”

  “Good because I really need you in my life.”

  Toya heard the crack in Gina’s voice and realized just how much pain the loss of their friendship has caused Gina. She would never hurt her friend again. “I need you too. I have truly missed you.”

  ~~~

  Now to deal with the real problem at hand. Jarrod was supposed to meet up with her to take Princess for the weekend. But she wasn’t just going to let him waltz in and leave without finally being straight up with her.

  “I'm on my way,” Jarrod told her.

  “I’ll be here,” she said. When she hung up the phone, she ran to her walk-in closet and hurriedly took off her Feed-Me-Coffee pajamas, jumped in the shower then threw on a white sundress that flowed all the way to the floor and made her look like an angel.