Into the Flames (Out of the Ashes Book 2)

by S. M. Lynn

  Ian puts his hand on my arm and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. “I couldn’t do it then but I can do it now and nothing will stop me from keeping you in my arms.” He places a gentle kiss on my lips. “I know you want me to understand how much you love me; I know you were at my dad’s funeral, I know what you said to my mother. She told me later what a comfort you were to her. I know how my father felt about you and how I hard I tried to hide what I felt about you after that first meeting. We share some of our past but there is more that I need to know about you. However, I don’t think one night will be sufficient for everything that we need to say to each other. I’m not sure one lifetime could ever be enough for me.”

  I’m not sure what to make of his statement. Is he trying to tell me that he still wants a lifetime with me or is he saying that even with a lifetime we can’t overcome this? I want to believe that it’s the former but with all that’s happened the latter seems more plausible. But Ian has a way of seeing into me and sensing my doubt. His mouth covers mine. It feels like years since I’ve inhaled his scent, touched him, and tasted him. I can’t get enough. I know we have a lot more to work through but in this kiss, I can’t help but hope our future is still together. He pulls away from me after several minutes, panting. My chest heaves from the arousal running through me but there’s still so much more that needs to be said. “Ian.” It’s a plead this time. He kisses me again, consuming me as only he can. “I’ve missed you so much. I promise never to keep anything from you again. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I will spend my life making it up to you, loving you. Please just don’t leave me.” I’m desperate. There’s no more hiding, no more hiding anything including the feelings that I’m drowning in. He needs to know how broken I would be if we didn’t make it but also to know that I understood if he couldn’t be with me.

  “Lauren, sweetheart, you are my life. That hasn’t changed and never will. We just have to figure out how to make our way from here.”

  Chapter 7

  Daddy always prided himself on throwing me the best birthday parties. The one he held the weekend before my 21st birthday was no exception. However by the time the party began, I didn’t care in the slightest about attending. I was upstairs at my parents’ house getting ready for the evening when Dean burst in. “Where the hell have you been?” He growled as he lifted me out of the chair and turned me to face him.

  “Dean, what’s the matter?”

  “I asked you a fucking question, bitch and I expect a fucking answer. I have been trying to get ahold of you all day. So where the fuck have you been?”

  “I told you last night I was coming over here this morning to have brunch with my parents and then staying to get ready for the party.”

  “Lauren, do you think I could have gotten where I am today if I was stupid? I saw you with Brad again at lunch this week and I know you were with him this morning.”

  Are we back to this again? “Yes, Brad and I had a business lunch this week. It happens when you work in accounting that you need to go over budgets with the project directors.” My anger and sarcasm aren’t containable. I should know better by now since our engagement his moods have been erratic at best. “There’s nothing I can do about that. But I’ve only been at my apartment and here this morning. No where else. When are you going to learn to trust me? This behavior is becoming more than I can take. If you won’t trust me, we should end this now.”

  His grip on my arms tightened, cutting off the flow of blood and I knew there would be bruises there tomorrow. “You’ll never leave me. Do you understand that, you bitch? Never. Have I made myself clear?” His eyes held a sadistic glow. “As for Brad, I can guarantee you won’t ever have to have lunch with that project director again as I fired him a few minutes ago. You are mine, Lauren. You’ll be my wife and mine forever in just a few months. It would be to your benefit to remember that. Now take off that robe. I need to know that you’re all mine.”

  “Dean, please you’re hurting me. Don’t do this. I think we need to stop now. I can’t marry you. You must know that. Look at how you are acting. How can you say you love me and then treat me this way?” I couldn’t control the sobs and tears; the pain was too much but his words hurt me more than his hands.

  A menacing gleam filled Dean’s eyes as he ripped the robe from my body. “You are mine. I will never let you go. Remember that. This body is mine to do with what I like and you’ll give me what I want, whenever I want it.” He pushed me onto my knees and freed himself from his jeans. Before I could even protest, he thrust himself into my mouth. “Suck me off like the good little whore you are. Show me how much you like it.” He laced his fingers behind my head and plunged to the back of my throat. “Shit baby. You know how much I love this mouth of yours. Fucking best mouth I’ve ever had.” With a few more thrust, I felt warm liquid run down the back of my throat. It was all I could do not to throw up. I felt sick and my mind was spinning. Things had been bad with Dean before but this was on another level. I’d never been so scared. He picked me up from the floor and brought me to the bed. He shed his clothes and wrapped his hand around himself, working himself up again. “Now to punish this cunt. Have you been giving out this sweet pussy to other men?” He slammed into me and I cried out. “Answer me, whore. Who else have you given this to?”

  My stomach was rolling, my chest heaving with the sobs I couldn’t hold back and my face was streaked with tears. “Dean, you know I’ve never been with anyone but you.”

  “This cunt is mine. Do you understand? I’ll use it whenever I like, however I like. Ah shit. Best fucking cunt I’ve ever had too.” He continued to thrust as he reached for my breast and rolled my nipple between his fingers. As his thrusts became harder lifting my hips with one hand so he could go deeper, he took my nipple in his mouth. I cried out again in pain as he bit down so hard I knew he drew blood then came inside me. Without removing himself from me, he rolled us onto our sides and wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t ever think about leaving me, Lauren. I’ll kill you before I ever let another man have what’s mine. And then I will kill him too for trying to take what’s mine. Do you understand? I want us to be perfectly clear on this point. You’ll never, and I mean, never be with anyone but me.”

  His arms became tighter and in a few moments I could tell from his even breaths that he was asleep. I continued to sob into my pillow until he woke a couple hours later. His eyes grew wide at the sight of me in his arms. “Oh shit baby. I’m so sorry. I just get so crazy when I think about you with another man. I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please, forgive me. Shit!” His hand went to the dried blood on my chest then up my arms to the fingerprints that were now clear. “Fuck, baby. I’m sorry. Please just don’t do it again and I won’t have to get so mad. Please, Lauren. I love you; you can never leave me.” His hands made their way down to my folds. He circled my clit with his thumb and ran his fingers through my folds. “Baby, you feel so fucking good. You’re incredible.” He kissed me gently waiting for me to return his kiss but I just continued to cry. “Lauren, I fucking said I was sorry. Please just be with me when we do this.” His other hand found my uninjured breast and began to knead it until my nipple hardened. My fucking body was betraying me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was be with him again.

  This wasn’t love. It was sick; he was sick. As he continued his ministrations, I felt myself grow wet. “See baby you fucking love it. You love having me in you.” He positioned himself at my entrance and slowly lowered into me. “Damn this cunt is fantastic. I love how tight it grips me. Just thinking about it makes me want to come right now.” His movements were slow and steady. His thumb continued to circle my clit.

  “Come for me baby. I want this time to be good for you too. For you to know how good I, and only I, can make you feel. I need you to understand that this body, everything you are, is mine.” He pumped harder but never to the point of pain. My orgasm rocked my body though the tears never stopped. I didn’t say one word the whole time. He came in me
again with several loud grunts. As he pulled from me, the sadistic gleam was back in his eyes. “Your cunt is so much better than your mother’s.” My eyes grew wide at his confession. “That’s right baby; I’m fucking you both but you are so much better. Remember anywhere, anytime and I won’t need to fuck her anymore. Now you need to get cleaned up and ready for your party. I’ll see you downstairs in a couple hours.” He reached for the door knob then turned back to me. “Oh and Lauren make sure you wear the dress with the off the shoulder straps to cover those bruises. Hurry up now. If you make me wait too long, I won’t be as kind to you later as I was earlier.” With that he walked from the room.

  Suddenly time and space shifted. I knew this was a terrible nightmare but nothing could pull me from it. My mind raced on ahead going places I vowed never to visit again.

  My actual birthday, the day that would haunt me for years afterwards, arrived a few days after the party and Dean decided to show me just what he meant by anytime, anywhere right there in my office. That day, however, it wasn’t Dean’s actions that completely broke my heart. My life with him was a mistake, I knew that from the night of his proposal but after today, there would be no way to be free of him ever except death.

  Dean had finished with me and was in the bathroom washing up when my intercom buzzed. “Lauren, I’m sorry. I know you did not want to be disturbed but they said it’s urgent.”

  Slowly slipping from the sofa, I went over to the desk. “That’s okay, Tracy. What’s going on?” There was a hesitation on the other end. I could tell from the pregnant pause that whatever I was about to hear wouldn’t be good news. Dean must have sensed my tension as he came out of the bathroom because he plucked me out of the chair, sat down and pulled me onto his lap. Once his arms were securely around me, Tracy continued, “I have the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s office on the phone. Lauren, there’s been an accident. Your father…” Tracy was hysterical at this point and cut off the intercom. I picked up the phone and hit the button next to the flashing light. He would be fine, everything was fine. I tried to reassure myself. But the dread captured my soul down to the core.

  No, no it’s nothing but a simple accident, maybe even a misunderstanding. Yeah, they are probably contacting the wrong person. It will be fine. Dean’s grip on my waist tightened. “Lauren Carmichael? This is Sergeant Lucas with the Sheriff’s Department. Miss Carmichael, I’m sorry to have to tell you this over the phone but there was an accident. Your father, I’m sorry. The paramedics did everything they could. I’m sorry. He passed on the flight to the hospital. I’m so sorry, miss.” I couldn’t hear anything else he said through my screams and sobs. If Dean wasn’t holding onto me I would have crumbled to the floor. Tracy rushed in and wrapped her arms around Dean and I.

  While trying to soothe me, Dean reached down and picked up the phone from my lap where I had dropped it. I could hear some of what he was saying. “This is her fiancé… What’s happened? Yes, I understand… As soon as she is able, I will bring her down. Thank you Sergeant.” Then he placed the phone back in its cradle.

  “I have to go to my mother.” I could barely make my mind function. I had just talked to him a few hours ago; if Dean hadn’t interrupted I was supposed to have gone to lunch with him. Instead we made plans to go hiking and camping this weekend and now he was gone. My knees gave out and I vomited all over the floor.

  After getting me cleaned up, Dean cradled me in his arms. “I’m taking her home,” he said to Tracy. Tracy nodded and said she would take care of things here. As we made our way down the elevator, I felt the darkness consume me.

  “I think she’s in shock,” I heard my mother say. “Who knows how long she’ll be out? Fuck Dean, what the hell? She was supposed to be with him.” At first I thought maybe she was relieved that I wasn’t in the car with him. Since the engagement, my mother had been surprisingly loving toward me, taking me shopping, for spa days and ladies’ lunches. My mother had never willingly spent time with me before, only when forced to do so by my father. Most of our alone time before now was spent with her casting disgusted looks at me and telling me how I had ruined her life. Since the weekend I knew the truth of her actions. Keep your friends close and enemies closer. Apparently I fall into the latter category since we are both fucking the same man.

  But as I opened my eyes, the look on her face was one of pure anger and hatred directed at Dean. As if she was mad at him because I had not been in the car. What the hell was going here? I just wanted to slip back into the blackness where my mind was protected from all of her shit. Dean reached down for my hand. “Baby, are you alright? Shit, I should have taken you to my house and not brought you here. Baby, it’ll be alright. I’m here with you.” Looking at my mother, he continues, “I love you. Please baby, let me take care of you. I need to have you.” I looked between them and could tell there was a silent conversation going on that I was not part of. I wrapped my arms around Dean’s neck and let him carry me from the house. The only time I saw my mother after that was the funeral. I never went back to what was her house now. Dean collected my things and I remained with him until the night of my death.

  Chapter 8

  I wake with a start, feeling something very warm and hard pressed against my back. The memories are all so clear now. The only difference is they hold no power over me any longer. They’re only memories, however horrible they may be and I won’t allow them to hurt me. I turn to Ian behind me, wrap him in my arms and kiss him. “Well good morning to you too, Ms. Carmichael. To what do I owe this wonderful wake up call?”

  I smile and continue to give him light kisses. “I’m just so happy you’re here. So many mornings I woke wishing you would be here just like this. I love you, Ian.”

  “Sweetheart, you have no idea how happy you make me especially when you say that. Well now since we are up, how about you jump in the shower while I get us some breakfast?” Suddenly remembering how little separates us, I look down at his erection tenting his boxers. “Oh no, Lauren. Don’t even think about it this morning. We won’t get out this bed for days if you start that so let’s eat and then we can talk some more.”

  I pout at him until I realize that there is no way he’s giving in. So I slowly rise from the bed making sure he has an eyeful of what he’s missing. Smack!!! His hand comes down hard on my bare ass cheek. “That’s for teasing me, sweetheart. Now shower. I’m getting breakfast.”

  Ian was working in the kitchen when I got out of the shower and dressed. As I pulled my bra from the top drawer I caught sight of the small box I bought a few days before Dean showed up. How different things were then. Or maybe it’s me who is different now. So much has happened and it’s not just about Ian finding out the truth. There are changes in me that I never knew were possible. For the first time since the death of my father I feel free. Free of the fear, free of hate, free to be who I am and love who I want. I open the black velvet box and run my fingers over the platinum watch band. How much more time are we going to spend apart? What else is out there that will keep us from being together? After everything that has happened can we ever truly be together again? I know I love him and he loves me but is that enough for us? Like I told Gavin, I don’t think love should be this hard and just when I think we have found our happily ever after, something else comes along to rip us away from each other. How will we ever survive us?

  His arms come around my waist pulling me from my thoughts. “What’s this?” His voice is raspy and seductive. “It was your birthday present.” I say unable to keep the sadness from my voice. I know I shouldn’t but I am so emotional lately and I can’t stop myself from asking. “Did you spend it with her? I know I have no right to be mad after what I put you through but I can’t help myself. I’m so scared of what’s going to happen to us now.”

  “Lauren, sweetheart, look at me.” He turns me so I am staring straight into the depths of his beautiful blue eyes. They are truly hypnotizing; I feel like I can see straight into his soul. “You want to know what Elizab
eth spent most of our time talking about?” Did I? I wasn’t sure. I shook my head. “Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. Other than catching up, she spent all of her time telling me about her fiancé and going over the new projects that I would be working on with her and her father. I spent all my time telling her about you. There was never a moment that I was away from you that you were not the first thing on my mind. I can’t live without you. I don’t know how to make you understand other than to never leave you again. I need you to trust me; to know that I know this is as much my mistake as it is yours. But to answer your question, no, I spent my birthday alone in my hotel room with a bottle of scotch. Not my finest moment but damn it, I love you so much and needed to be with you but this has all been very confusing.”

  The kiss that followed was one of love and passion. If our time apart taught me nothing else it was that I would never go another day without Ian, without everyone in my life, knowing how important they are to me. “Well, belatedly, happy birthday.” I hand him the open box. “Sorry I never got the chance to wrap it and now I’ve spoiled the surprise anyway.”

  “Sweetheart, I love it.” He said taking the watch from the box. As he turned it over to put it on, the back of the watch caught his eye. “To Ian, my love, my life. I give you all the time I have.” He read the inscription aloud. “Sweetheart, I love you so much.” His kiss turned feverish and I knew if we didn’t stop soon there would be no stopping us.