HORIZON MC

by Clara Kendrick

  “What’s funny is that Jack hasn’t found it yet,” I said. “You know, all it’s going to take is one day of him being bored and remembering that there is such a legend as a VIP seat, and then he’ll line up all the barstools and test them all out. Then all the fun will be over.”

  “That’s why it’s up to you, me, Haley, and Nadine to keep him distracted.”

  Ace and I looked back over the room just in time to see Nadine give a customer a brief lap dance. From the look on his face, I wasn’t sure that he’d requested such a thing.

  “Jesus,” Ace remarked. “How are you holding up?”

  “So, so confused,” I said. “At least Nadine’s doing a good job keeping everyone distracted.”

  “I have to tell you, if she incites a fight from somebody’s old lady, Jack’s not going to be happy,” Ace pointed out.

  But when Nadine popped up from the customer’s lap, the woman who had been sitting with him, watching in slack-jawed shock, grabbed him and reasserted her ownership with a long, sloppy kiss. Nadine cheered and took the shot of tequila she’d just delivered to the table.

  “How do you keep up with her?” Marty asked. He’d turned around, too, recognizing that much better entertainment was going on behind him thanks to Nadine than in the football game playing on the television over the bar.

  “You know, I really don’t,” I said, cringing to imagine what she’d do next. “I just kind of sit back and watch everything happen.”

  “You and me both,” Marty said.

  It was an easy thing to put on a brave face while people were quizzing me about Nadine’s behavior. It was another thing to go into the office for a few moments to get my bearings. What in the holy fuck did she think she was doing? There was no way giving a customer a lap dance was appropriate behavior for any waitress at a bar that didn’t also double as a strip club. Everything she was doing was too far. It was unprofessional behavior at the very least. At its worst, though, it was a middle finger extended right in my face.

  All her flirting at the bar shouted at me that we couldn’t have nice things. That I would never get a chance to be happy with Nadine because she wouldn’t allow it. I just didn’t understand why she was doing this to me, or why I was taking it, like a lovesick asshole. It hurt too goddamn much for me to be able to endure much more of it.

  “We need to talk,” Jack said, striding into the office and closing the door behind him. He was wearing a T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing the flying eagle tattoo on one of his shoulders. He’d either been working out or sifting through his memories in his storage unit or maybe both, hefting boxes and moving things around.

  I sighed. “I know. I just don’t know what to do. We haven’t had any complaints yet, but when we do, I think that would be the right time to bring Nadine in and have a serious talk about professionalism. Ace said that he’s afraid she’s going to get in a fight, or cause one between husbands and wives, and I think if someone’s in the wrong mood, he could be right. Maybe, then, we could impress a no-touching policy, or something. I don’t know. That sounds sleazy. We’re not a gentleman’s club. Otherwise, though, I’m at a loss on how to get Nadine to stop…I don’t know…being Nadine.”

  Jack blinked at me. “I was here to talk to you about a weird charge on the bar credit card.”

  My face flushed hot. “Oh, uh, okay. Sorry. What was the charge?”

  “Twenty bucks at some brewery.”

  “Oh, that was for a case of pumpkin beer I bought.”

  Jack visibly gagged. “Pumpkin beer? Seriously, Brody?”

  “It was only twelve of them, and I’ve already sold a couple.”

  “Twelve of them for twenty bucks? That’s highway robbery. You can get a thirty-pack of beer for less than that.”

  “A thirty pack of shitty beer.”

  “Beer’s beer.” He sat down, and held out his hand to the chair behind the desk, indicating I should do the same. “So, at least I know our identities didn’t get stolen.”

  “Yeah, sorry for not telling you. It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment decision.”

  “Talk to me about Nadine.”

  “I… You know what? Don’t worry about that.”

  “If you’re worried about it, I’m worried about it.”

  “I’m not… The worry is more of a personal perspective. Not that she might not be a good fit here at the bar.”

  “She’s wild, but I think a lot of people come out for that,” Jack said. “But it’s obviously bothering you.”

  “I mean, yeah. It is bothering me. I don’t know what to make of it.”

  “It’s bothering all of us in Horizon,” he said, his face grave. “I don’t want that kind of drama here in the bar, Brody. I’m just trying to look out for you, but maybe we should ask Nadine when she’s planning to move on.”

  I swallowed hard. “I don’t think that’s something I can ask her.”

  “I could get Haley to do it.”

  “Hell, no. Don’t get in between friends like that. There’s probably some sort of women’s code protecting against infiltration like that.”

  “Okay, okay. I could ask her, then. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

  “Thanks for thinking of me, but I really don’t think she would react well to a shovel talk from you.”

  “The only grave I’m digging is for her career as a waitress at the Horizon MC Bar.”

  “I just don’t understand what’s she’s doing, Jack.”

  The despair in my voice must’ve been apparent enough for Jack to reach across the desk and grip my shoulder. “Have you talked to her about it?”

  “I don’t know. Kind of. Not super specifically.” She’d said it was her, not me. She’d said that, and I had no idea how to take it.

  “Brody, I’m telling you that it wouldn’t even be a shovel talk. I could do it casually. Invite her into the club booth preferably while Katie was around so she could pitch a fit.” Jack smiled a private smile to himself, and I shook my head at him. “But I wouldn’t make it seem like a shovel talk. It would just be a chat. I’d wonder what her next big project was. Where she was going to end up after Rio Seco.”

  “Part of me hopes she never leaves.”

  “And the other part?”

  I heaved a sigh. “The other part has no idea what to think.”

  I somehow made it through the rest of the shift busy enough not to notice Nadine’s shenanigans. When we were shutting down the bar, though, she refused my offer to give her a ride back to the house.

  “What do you mean you’re not going home?” I asked her. I was so sick of feeling confused. Just the other day she’d snapped at me for leaving her behind when we were going to the same place.

  “What’s with that tone of judgment?” she asked. “What, am I supposed to go home with you every night you want me there?”

  She wavered a little bit, and I recognized her for what she was drunk. “How much have you had to drink tonight?” I’d only seen her take that tequila shot, but that didn’t mean she’d abstained for the rest of her shift. I’d seen her take long gulps out of people’s beer before, as well as accept drinks the customers bought her on their tabs.

  “Who the hell knows?” she asked. “Enough to know that I don’t have to go home with you, if I don’t want to.”

  “Of course you don’t have to go home with me,” I said. “I was just asking if you needed a ride…home. I understand if you have other plans.”

  “I do have other plans.” She nodded emphatically. “I met this rancher who’s having a big shindig at his place tonight. Told me I had to come.”

  I counted to ten before I responded. “Nadine? It’s Tuesday.”

  “So?”

  “So no one has big shindigs at their places in the middle of the week. He probably wanted you to strand yourself out at his ranch so he could take advantage of you.”

  “Oh, you’re just jealous.”

  “Jealous that creepy ranchers aren’t inviting
me to Tuesday night shindigs? I guess.”

  “I could go home with any of the people here,” she said, her face twisted up into something ugly. “Can’t you see that? All of them love me.”

  “I can see that. You’re beautiful. Of course people want to take you home. Especially when you make them believe they can.”

  She was drunk, but not drunk enough to let that insult slide. “Fuck you, Brody. You’ve had me, what, a few times? That doesn’t mean I’m yours.”

  “You’re you own woman,” I said. “You do whatever the hell you want. I’m going to go home.”

  I walked away, but, goddammit, I cared about what happened to Nadine, so I texted Haley and asked her to talk some sense into her friend.

  “I’m inviting her over,” Haley texted me back immediately. “You should come, too.”

  “I don’t know if she’ll want me there,” I sent back.

  “I’m pretending it’s a couples thing,” Haley replied. “Just roll with it.”

  Nadine and I weren’t a couple. Or we were the world’s stupidest couple. It was hard to decide. But I approached her anyway, even if she had a look on her face that told me she wanted to punch something.

  “So, Haley just texted me,” I said by way of cautious greeting.

  “Me, too,” Nadine said. “See? Some people really do have Tuesday night shindigs.”

  “Only the coolest people,” I agreed. “Would you like me to take you there?”

  “You’re invited, too,” she said. “Haley warned me.”

  “It’s true,” I said. “But I could just drop you off if you don’t want me there.”

  “Whatever,” Nadine said. “I’m tired of being here, arguing. Let’s just go.”

  “To Haley’s?”

  “Yeah.”

  It wasn’t a far drive, but it felt like forever, Nadine holding on to my middle. I drove a lot slower than I usually did, too, because she was drunk enough to make me worry she might not be able to maintain her balance.

  When we got there, Haley was standing out in the driveway, waiting for us. “Hey, party people!”

  “Let’s do some shots!” Nadine roared into the night, stripping her helmet away from her head and pushing it at me.

  “If you want to do more of a girl’s night, I can leave you to it,” I said. I didn’t think I could stay here and put on a face for Nadine, Haley, and Chuck. I really just wanted to go home and go to bed.

  “Oh, that kind of sounds like fun,” Haley said, grinning wickedly at Nadine. “I’ll send Chuck to bed early, and we can gossip all we want.”

  “And do shots,” Nadine insisted.

  “Yes, of course,” Haley agreed. “Shots are mandatory.”

  “Have a wonderful night,” I told them both, securing Nadine’s helmet to the bike and turning it around. I’d left it idling this entire time, eager to make my escape.

  When I finally got home, I texted Haley. “Thank you,” it read. I could’ve put a ton of other things in it, be more specific about my gratitude, but it was late, and I was exhausted.

  “She fell asleep almost immediately,” Haley said. “I’m glad she was somewhere safe.”

  I cringed to consider Nadine’s earlier plans to go off into the middle of nowhere with a rancher she’d only just met. She had to have more sense than that, didn’t she? She had traveled all over the world and somehow escaped reasonably unscathed. Nadine had to know about stranger danger. At least, I hoped she did.

  She and I ran into each other the next morning Nadine letting herself in to the house as I was walking out, heading over to the bar.

  “Hey,” she grumbled, stepping past me. “Shitty hangover.”

  “Sleep it off,” I advised. “You know where I keep the aspirin?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, Nadine?”

  “Yeah?”

  She turned, her eyes squinting against the glare of the sun, her hands held up to her forehead in what could’ve been taken as a sign of surrender.

  “Are we okay, or is there something going on?” I asked her. I was too tired of this song and dance, tired of trying to be subtle, trying to wait out whatever was lurking just around the corner. I wantedno, needed to know what was going on. Life with her was getting just a little too stressful.

  “Nothing’s going on,” she said, her voice too light, especially for the obvious hangover she was sporting.

  “But are we okay?”

  “Just fine, man of mine.” She tweaked my nose, and I stared at her like she’d grown a second head. “What?”

  “You never act like this.”

  “Never say never. We haven’t known each other for very long.”

  “This is true,” I said slowly. We really hadn’t. Maybe Nadine acting manic like she had been was just par for the course. There was really no way of knowing. Somehow, though, I didn’t believe it. “Would you tell me if I did something wrong? Something to offend you?”

  “Of course I would,” she said, her tone still so easy. “You’d know.”

  “Because all the flirting and the self-destructive behavior is starting to get to me.”

  Nadine’s eyes narrowed. “I’m so sorry to be inconveniencing you.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I’m just worried about you, and confused about our…situation.” I’d been about to say relationship, but that was probably not the right thing to say.

  “Look, my hangover is really, really bad,” she said. “I’m going to puke and take a nap, and if you’re still here when I wake up, we can have a chat.”

  “I’m going to the bar.”

  “Then I guess you’re not going to be here when I wake up.” Nadine waved at me. “Bye, then. Have a good day at work.”

  And things just continued to devolve from there.

  Nadine barely looked at me when we were both working at the bar later that week, and I found myself spending more time in the office when I wasn’t needed on the floor. I didn’t need to see the shit show that was her getting drunk on the bar’s dime, or throwing herself at everyone who strolled in the door. If she wouldn’t tell me what was going on, I didn’t have to be a witness to it. I could afford to protect myself at least that much.

  For the first time okay, maybe the second, countingthe incident in which she threw away my home brewery I truly regretted inviting Nadine to stay at my place. If the bar was a battlefield, rife with mines to step on, my home was the front lines. It was a silent war, though, waged with closed doors and long absences. I could never be sure whether Nadine was home unless I left the bar while she was there. My bedroom door stayed closed, and I only went in for changes of clothing when I knew she was working at the bar. If I thought there was a chance she was home, I tried to steer clear. I still hadn’t figured out what I’d done, where we’d gone wrong; and if our one conversation was any indication, it was possible I never would. Nadine had completely shut down, and she seemed to be in the process of shutting me out of her life. I found myself wondering if it would be for the best. We hadn’t known each other long. It would be easier to extricate ourselves from each other’s lives. We could cut our losses and go our separate ways without any further heartache.

  But even as I thought that, I knew it was a lie. There wouldn’t be any sparing of my heart. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t known Nadine for very long, that whatever relationship we’d managed to create was falling apart. My feelings for her were real, and I couldn’t just flush them out of my heart, as badly as I wanted to.

  Part of me hoped that the fact that she hadn’t moved out of my house and on with her life was that there was a chance all of this could be fixed. If she truly didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, then she would’ve moved on already, wouldn’t she? She was still here for a reason, and I doubted it had much to do with money any longer. She had to have saved up enough for at least a bus ticket by now.

  I knew I had to talk to her the talk that everyone from Jack to Amy had been pushing me to ha
ve. I just didn’t know where to start. It was almost easier to exist in that purgatory of uncertainty, because at least there, hope existed. If I had the talk and Nadine completely shut me down, there was no coming back.

  Closing up at the bar one night, I was fairly certain Nadine was home particularly because she’d sent me a text complaining that the Internet was down at the house. After a quick primer on restarting the router, I knew that tonight was the night. We were going to hash things out, once and for all, and I was just going to have to accept the conclusion of everything.

  The problem was, I was already assuming the conclusion was going to be Nadine not wanting to be with me, because I couldn’t imagine anyone acting the way she did in a relationship for which they had high hopes.

  “Brody, do you have a minute?”

  I turned to see Haley standing there, twirling a damp dishcloth with no small amount of anxiety.

  “I really need to get home right now,” I said. I was mostly afraid I’d lose the courage somewhere between the bar and my house to do what needed to be done have it out, once and for all, with Nadine. Any slight delay might make me dawdle even more at the bar, maybe reorganize the office, and by the time I decided to wander home, Nadine would already be asleep.

  “This will only take a minute, and it’s important,” Haley said. “Important to both of us. And another person, too.”

  She gave a nod in Jack and Ace’s direction. The two of them were in deep conversation in the club booth, and I sighed heavily before following Haley to a more discreet position.

  “I absolutely don’t have time for this cloak and dagger bullshit,” I told her.

  “Do you want my advice about Nadine?” Haley asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Or don’t you?”

  “I don’t know what I want, or what I need,” I admitted. “I’m sorry.”

  “The only reason you should be sorry is if you give up on this thing.”

  I peered at her. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I’m convinced Nadine is still in love with you.”

  “Do you have any proof?” It was hard to swallow all of a sudden, and I nearly choked on the dryness in my mouth. “Do you…you two don’t talk about me, do you?”