The Cabin (The Cabin Novellas (Book One))

by Stark, Natalie

  Quinn slowed.

  “Be careful,” he warned over the howl of the wind. “There are some steps.”

  I looked down and could just make out a set of wooden steps. I slowly climbed them, finding myself standing on the porch outside the cabin. Quinn stood next to me and my heart was racing. We had reached the cabin.

  “You should go now,” I said, my head bowed, so as not to look into his eyes again. I didn’t want to be caught in his stare.

  “Mia, we should talk,” he said.

  “My husband’s inside,” I said back.

  “There are no lights on,” he pointed out, inching nearer to me. I didn’t move; I felt rooted to the spot.

  I kept looking away from him and said, “He’ll be here any moment. I don’t want him to see you.”

  “Have you told him about me?” he asked.

  “There is nothing to tell,” I breathed sharply.

  “You know that’s not true, Mia,” he said, inching closer across the porch and through the fog.

  “If Nathan should arrive...” I started.

  “Your husband won’t be back tonight,” Quinn said.

  “How do you know?” I asked, fighting the urge to turn and face him. Even though he had to raise the level of his voice to be heard over the roar of the wind, it still sounded as soft as it always had.

  “I met your husband on the path before I found you,” Quinn started to explain. “I pointed him in the wrong direction...”

  “You did what!” I snapped at him, now lifting my head to stare straight back at him. “What a dangerous and stupid thing to do!”

  “Don’t worry, he isn’t in any danger,” Quinn said, his eyes meeting mine. “I pointed him back down the mountain. He would have reached the road again by now. There is no fog that low. He will make his way back into the village. He’ll be perfectly safe.”

  “But he will be worried about me!” I shouted.

  “He doesn’t have to worry, you’re perfectly safe,” Quinn said.

  “Nathan doesn’t know that,” I said in disbelief. “For all he knows, I could have fallen...”

  “Why don’t you call him?” Quinn suggested.

  “I can’t get a signal,” I snapped.

  “The fog will clear soon enough and you’ll be able to get a signal, then you’ll be able to call him,” Quinn said.

  Looking at him and feeling angry, I said, “So if you pointed Nathan in the direction off the mountain, why didn’t you lead me down, too?”

  “Because I want to talk to you,” Quinn said, so close now it would have been difficult to slip a piece of paper between us.

  “Like I said, there is nothing to say,” I shot back at him.

  “This happened for a reason,” he said.

  “What did?” Although I knew exactly what he was talking about. There were no such things as coincidences.

  “Us meeting again,” he said, slowly taking my hand from my coat pocket.

  Again, I pulled my hand from his reach.

  “Give me just five minutes?” he said. “Then if you still want me to take you down the mountain to your husband, I will.”

  “Five minutes or an hour, of course I’ll want you to take me to my husband,” I snapped, staring hard into his eyes to prove I meant what I said.

  “Okay, five minutes,” he said, turning to face the cabin.

  Slowly, I took the keys to the cabin from my pocket and opened the door.

  Nine

  I stepped into the cabin. Quinn closed the door behind me, drowning out the sound of the wind. I heard a ‘click’ as he switched on the lights. A series of lamps came on, gently bathing the cabin in warm orange light. The cabin was described just like it said in the brochure. The ceiling was covered in oak beams; there were plenty of soft furnishings, and a huge stone fireplace. To my right there was an open doorway. I looked into what had been described as the ‘romantic master suite.’ There was a giant sized bed covered in fine silk sheets, cushions, and pillows. What looked like red rose petals had been lightly scattered over the bed. I looked away, blocking out the sudden image of Quinn making love to me on that bed. That wasn’t going to happen. That was the bed I’d come to share with Nathan and no one else.

  With my back turned to Quinn as I still found it difficult to look at him, I heard him slowly approach me. I crossed my arms over my chest. He stopped just behind me. I could hear him breathing over the sound of my racing heart. I felt scared, but didn’t know why. Quinn was no threat to me. He wasn’t going to hurt me – not again.

  “Why are you trembling?” he asked softly.

  “I’m cold,” I lied.

  “I’ll light the fire,” he suggested.

  “There’s no point,” I said, still unable to face him. I knew I had to keep my feelings under control. I couldn’t afford to give myself away. “We won’t be staying long. Just say whatever it is you feel is so important, and then take me to my husband.”

  “I’m still in love with you,” he said.

  I felt his hands fall gently on my shoulders. Shrugging them off, I span around to finally look at him. “Don’t you dare!” I said, screwing my hands into fists at my sides. “You have no right to say that to me.”

  “But it’s true, Mia,” he said, staring at me, his face solemn-looking. In the lamplight, I could see that he hadn’t aged at all over the last four years. He looked no older than his age, which I figured was now twenty-six.

  “It’s not true,” I hissed, tears now in my eyes. “If you loved me, you would’ve never hurt me.”

  “I didn’t mean to,” he said, now looking ashamed as he saw the tears spill onto my cheeks.

  “I was just eighteen and you used me,” I said, fighting to keep a hold on my feelings. I refused to break down in front of him. I refused to let him see the hurt he had caused me. “I loved you and you broke my heart.”

  “It hasn’t been easy for me, either...” he started.

  “Easy!” I said, spraying mock laughter at him. “You have no idea what I’ve been through. I haven’t been able to move on because of the scars.”

  “I’ve got emotional scars, too,” he said, his face looking ashen.

  “I’m not just talking about emotional scars,” I snapped. “I’m talking about those other scars. The scars which are a constant reminder of you and the shame I feel.”

  “What are you talking about?” Quinn gasped, shaking his head in bewilderment. “What scars?”

  I felt like I had been punched. How could he not know about the scars? “Don’t lie to me,” I hissed, wiping the tears from my face with the balls of my hands.

  “Honestly, Mia, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, taking a step closer towards me, his face a mask of concern. He held out his arms as if to comfort me and I brushed them away.

  I hadn’t considered for one moment in all the time we had been apart that he might not have known about them. “The nun who discovered us that night together in your room,” I said, trying to control my frustration and anger at him.

  “Sister Martin Mary?” Quinn cut in.

  “Yeah, that was her name,” I said, as if suddenly swallowing a mouthful of poison. “The one who said I was evil and a whore. The sister who said I had been born with the devil inside of me. The nun who said I had seduced you and tempted you away from God. The one who said all of those things while you just stood and watched.”

  Quinn dropped his head shamefully. “I didn’t know what to do. I’d been caught having sex with you...I was young...”

  “And so was I,” I cut over him. “It was my eighteenth birthday, remember?”

  “I’ve never been able to forget,” he whispered. Now it was he who couldn’t bring himself to look at me.

  “You said you loved me, but you couldn’t stand up for me,” I said, tears continuing to stream silently down the length of my face. “You looked on as she said those things about me. You left me so she could humiliate me.”

  “I never left you,�
�� he said, glancing up at me. “I got sent away – far away. They sent me miles from anyone. This was my punishment.”

  “You call being sent to live out here a punishment?” I nearly choked on my words. “I’ll show you how they punished me.”

  Before Quinn had the chance to say anything, I was yanking my coat off. I chucked it on the floor, along with my sweater and shirt. Standing in my bra, I crossed my arms over my breasts and turned around, showing him my back.

  “This is how they punished me,” I said.

  I heard Quinn draw in a sharp breath as he saw the crisscross maze of raised white scars across the small of my back. “Who did that to you?”

  “Sister Martin Mary, Sister Mary Agatha, and the Mother Superior,” I said through gritted teeth. It pained me to even whisper their names. “You left the day after, and they came to my room. Holding me down, they tore my clothes from me. The sisters held me facedown, while the

  Mother Superior whipped me. All the time they were telling me I had to be punished for seducing you. They said the Devil had sent me to seduce men like you away from a life of Christ. As I screamed in pain, all I wanted was for you to come and save me. I called out your name and they whipped me harder. The nuns said they would leave a mark on me so that I could never seduce another holy man again. They said I would never be able to have another man – not a good one. And they were right,” I said, turning back to face him. “My scars have prevented me from ever having another relationship. How could I ever explain them away to my husband unless I told him what I had done? What then would he think of me? He would think just like those nuns had. He would think me a dirty little whore who had jumped into bed with her priest. I had pursued a man of God...a man I knew I could never have. No decent man would condone behaviour like that. I could tell no one about those scars. I’ve lived in fear that my mother and father might discover them. If my parents were to ever see the scars, they would demand to know who had inflicted them. If I told them who had whipped me, they would want to know why. How could I tell them the truth? Both my mother and father are Catholics, it would destroy them if they were to ever find out I’d been caught having sex with a priest. They would never understand,” I cried, picking my shirt up from off the floor, suddenly feeling vulnerable in front of him.

  Quinn stepped forward and took hold of my wrist.

  “Let go,” I sniffed, trying to pull free so I could cover myself with my shirt.

  “I’m sorry for what they did to you, Mia,” he whispered, looking down into my upturned face. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. Although I don’t have the scars you do, my life hasn’t been easy, either. I’ve suffered my own guilt and shame for what happened. The church sent me out here so I could reflect on what I’d done. But my solitude and emptiness has only been filled with thoughts and memories of you.”

  “Why didn’t you come back for me?” I asked, straining against his hold on me.

  “I was told that you had repented,” he said. “I was told you had sought forgiveness, that you’d realised what you had done was a terrible mistake. You had moved on with your life and were happy now. I was pleased you had found happiness, and I didn’t want to destroy that.”

  “I have moved on,” I told him adamantly.

  “But you’re not happy,” he whispered. “They lied to me about that.”

  “What makes you so confident that I’m not happy?” I said, trying to pull my arm from his grip.

  “I heard it in your voice in the confessional box,” he said, his eyes boring into mine, as if holding me prisoner. “I hear it in your voice now.”

  “Nathan makes me happy,” I snapped at him.

  “Not like how I made you happy,” he said confidently. “He doesn’t make you feel like I used to – like I still do.”

  “I don’t feel anything for you anymore,” I said.

  “Is that why you flinch from my touch?” he said, his eyes still fixed on mine.

  I wanted to break his stare, but something was stopping me. I liked looking into his eyes. I always had.

  “You heart is racing,” he said, the tips of his fingers digging softly into my wrist. “Your breathing is getting quicker.”

  “No, it isn’t,” I said as if trying to catch my breath. I looked at his mouth. “I’m worried about Nathan...my husband.”

  “We’ve been here for more than five minutes,” he said. “And in that time you haven’t checked to see if you can yet get a signal from your phone, you haven’t demanded that I take you back down the mountain. You want to be kissed.”

  “I want my husband,” I said, trying to pull my arm free again.

  “You don’t want to kiss him,” he whispered, moving his face closer to mine. “You want me to kiss you, but you’re afraid...”

  “I’m not afraid of you...” I started.

  “You’re frightened of those feelings I know you have deep inside of you,” he said, his face hovering so close to mine that I could feel his breath, warm against my cheek. “You want us to kiss, but you’re afraid to make the first move, as you don’t want to believe it is of your own doing.”

  Quinn was right; I did want to kiss him and I hated myself for it. I was married now and I knew it was Nathan who I should be with in the cabin as the storm raged outside. But if I’d ever wanted to be kissed by any man, it was the one standing right in front of me now. I wanted to be kissed by him like he’d kissed me all those years ago. My heart beat faster and faster and my lips trembled as I remembered the last night we had shared together, and how exciting – exhilarating – it had felt. I had never felt anything like that since, and my body had craved it again and again over the last four years. And now standing before me was the man who could make me feel like that again.

  Slowly, Quinn turned me around so my back was facing him. He let go of my wrist, so I could run if I wanted to. He was setting me free so I could go in search of my husband. Trembling all over, I dropped my hands to my sides. Sensing I wasn’t going anywhere, Quinn ran his hands down the length of my spine. My flesh tingled at his touch. Dropping to his knees, Quinn placed his hands on my thighs and began to cover the scars on the small of my back with soft, feather-like kisses.

  Nine

  I stood perfectly still as Quinn’s lips passed over the small of my back, sending shivers up my spine. The hairs on the nape of my neck stood on end. My nipples began to harden and strain against the black lace of my bra. I wanted to reach round, unfasten the little hooks, and set my breasts free. But I couldn’t; it would be encouraging Quinn, and that would be wrong. I belonged to another man now. So why was I still here, alone with Quinn in the cabin?

  As Quinn’s lips pressed softly against my back, I felt the tip of his tongue move slowly down to the waistline of my denims. His hands moved over my hips, peeling back the waistband, so his tongue could flicker over the groove just above my arse. His breath felt warm as he breathed over the wet trail his tongue had left behind. My skin tightened and so did my stomach.

  “We should stop now,” I whispered. “This isn’t right.”

  “What we shared was never right,” he breathed. “And that’s what we both secretly enjoyed if we are honest with ourselves.”

  “But I’m married now,” I said, eyes closed, hoping that he would stop and take the decision to continue away from me. “I belong to someone else.”

  “Perhaps you now understand the conflict I feel,” he whispered, his fingers creeping around my waist and reaching for my belt buckle. “I had made a promise – I had given a solemn oath to another – but my need for you was stronger, just like your need now.”

  “I don’t need anything,” I shuddered as he un-looped my belt and unzipped the front of my jeans.

  “We both feel the same for each other, Mia,” he said, slowly drawing my jeans down over my thighs. “Don’t you want to experience again what we once felt, even if it’s just for one more night?”

  However much I tried to tell myself otherwise, I knew I wanted to s
hare everything I could with Quinn tonight. If by fate, chance, or magic we had been brought back together for one last night, then I wanted to feel everything with him. Unlike how I felt with Nathan, Quinn made me feel scared for what I wanted to experience with him. I knew Quinn was right about me – it was that sense of fear that turned me on. It was the knowing that I wanted to fuck a man who I couldn’t have which drove me half mad with desire. It was the thought that if I were caught, I’d be punished that had made me want him. I wanted him tonight for the same reasons I’d felt all those years ago. What made my stomach knot with excitement was the thought of being caught, but not by the nuns this time, but by my husband. What if he hadn’t followed Quinn’s directions down the mountain? What if he were making his way through the fog to the cabin right at this very minute? What if he found the cabin? What if Nathan stumbled into the cabin to discover Quinn knelt behind me as I stood semi naked before him? I could feel myself getting wet at the thought of being caught. Did that make me evil, just like those nuns had claimed?

  It was with that sense of fear and dread making my heart race like a drum that I stepped out of my jeans, turned and stood before Quinn in just my black lace panties and bra. I looked into his eyes and he stared back into mine.

  “Fuck me,” I whispered, my body aching so much it bordered on pain.

  Without another word, Quinn swooped me up in his arms and carried me into the master honeymoon suite. He laid me down on the bed, leaning over me, our faces just inches apart. I glanced over his shoulder, beyond the open door and out through the window, where Nathan wandered, lost in the fog. I looked away and back at Quinn, that aching for him now almost blinding.

  “Set me free,” I whispered.

  Needing no further encouragement, Quinn placed his lips over mine. His tongue darted straight between my lips. He prodded and pushed as if he were fucking my mouth with his tongue. I pushed against it with my own, tasting every part of his mouth. He ran his fingers over my shoulders as we kissed, yanking down the straps of my bra and releasing my breasts. I arched my back, pushing them towards him – wanting him to rub them, touch them, play with them. I broke his kiss, pushing him back so I could rip open the front of his jet black shirt. I fumbled at the white collar, letting it fall from my fingers, where it dropped onto the floor. I pulled open the front of his shirt and looked greedily at his toned chest and stomach. What a waste, I thought as I lunged forward and began to cover his flesh in kisses. Quinn pulled his shirt free, then covered my body with his. My raised nipples brushed against his chest, and I sighed out loud.