Overruled by Fate
Page 22
Edward pulled back from her and gave her a long, searching look. "Nay!" he barked when she moved to cover her bosom.
Madeline left herself exposed and let her arms fall limply to her sides.
Now somewhat placated, the king continued in a softer tone, "And who is this fortunate man you would petition for?"
"Sir Nathaniel," Madeline stated simply.
"The knight?" he said incredulously. "You are now one of the wealthiest women in the kingdom. You could have your pick of eligible noblemen and you are currently in my favour and my bed. Why a lowly knight?"
"I love him," she confessed without affect. "I have done so since we were children. I will never know another love."
"Ha!" he scoffed without rancour. "What is love? We all have many loves throughout our lives."
"Such is not the case for me," Madeline denied, shaking her head.
Edward regarded her thoughtfully, pulling on his short beard. She shifted uneasily beneath his scrutiny, mortifyingly aware of her state of undress.
"Nay," he finally said. "I will not allow you to marry. I find myself infatuated with you, and I am not inclined to give you up. Furthermore, Sir Nathaniel is promised to, and will wed, Lord Endle's niece in less than a fortnight. I will not override his final wish, not even for you, my dear."
"Sire..." Madeline began, unwilling to give up on her dream so easily.
"Nay," he repeated, more firmly this time. "Do not ask it of your sovereign again. I will not change my mind," he said crossing his arms before himself. He frowned, "You may think me callous and hard-hearted, but I am neither. Lord Endle was as a father to me and I will honour his last wish. Though, as a kindness to you, and out of respect for him, I have decided to allow you a short time longer to mourn before we resume our relations."
Madeline gaped at him, the wretched understanding slowly dawning that her plan had failed. Stone-faced, she gathered the fabric of her gown.
"Do not be angered with me, my Rosamund," the king stepped forward and assisted her in tying the laces. "I could not bear it. Once your knight is wed, you will forget him in short order. In fact, the night of his wedding I will summon you here to our boudoir and erase his memory from your mind," he uttered soothingly.
"I beg your leave, sire," Madeline requested through clenched teeth, before she turned and fled the way she had come.
When do I see thee most,
beloved one?
When in the light
the spirits of mine eyes
Before thy face,
their altar, solemnize
The worship of that Love
through thee made known?
Or when in the dusk hours,
(we two alone,)
Close-kissed and
eloquent of still replies
Thy twilight-hidden
glimmering visage lies,
And my soul only sees
thy soul its own?
~Dante Gabriel Rossetti
CHAPTER 26
The hidden door in her chamber hadn't even latched before Madeline seized the nearby water pitcher and flung it across the room to smash against the stone fireplace. She ripped the veil from her head and threw it to the floor, whilst once again cursing her misfortune to have been born a woman. She was a pawn to be used by men who cared little or nothing for her. And if that was not sufficient, fate itself conspired against her, to give her Nathaniel through childhood and then wrench him away, just as she reached an age to understand the love they shared. But now, she'd had enough. She would take fate into her own hands. No longer would she sway with the tides.
Nate's affections mirrored her own, she knew. She should have realised it years ago. If she revealed her feelings to him, she had no doubt that he would abandon everything to escape with her. Just as she would now do the same for him. Titles and wealth had ever been meaningless to her. She cared naught for them. She would be overjoyed to be Nate's unentitled wife. And so, with a determined grin and a course of action, she picked up her veil and laid it neatly over the chair. Sitting down, she turned her mind to the details.
* * *
Over the next several days, Madeline arranged for Nathaniel to be moved to a new chamber, one that connected to the castle's secret tunnels. She organized her personal affairs and covertly wrapped her jewellery in plain brown sacking, which she hid beneath her mattress. She gathered whatever coins she could accumulate and concealed them alongside the jewellery. Obtaining commoner's clothing had proved a challenging task but the servants she had furtively approached had been grateful for the extra coin. It hadn't taken her long to figure out the mechanism of opening the hidden door in her room. Whilst she did incur a great deal of guilt for her deception, she pled mourning as an excuse to take long naps during the day. It would not do to have anyone prying when she escaped to study and memorize the routes of the hidden passageways. Madeline traced and retraced the path to Nathaniel's new chambers and from there to a hidden door she had found in the outer wall of the palace. They would need to proceed on foot, as securing a horse and convincing the guards to allow them to exit the castle gates would be an impossibility.
Finally, only days before Nathaniel's wedding, all was in order. Madeline had barely been able to conceal her excitement throughout the long day. Eventually evening had fallen and Muriel had prepared her for bed. Now the maid had left and Madeline hastily donned the loose woolen kirtle she had acquired and pinned a veil over her long braid. The coin and jewellery she tucked into a small burlap tote, along with a spare chemise. She then furtively pushed open the hidden door.
* * *
Stepping through the narrow entrance she could see Nathaniel standing before the blaze in the hearth, oblivious to her presence in his room. She watched as he pulled the leather thong from his hair and ran his long fingers through the thick, sandy blonde waves. Clad only in his braies, the firelight flickered off the muscular planes of his contoured chest and hard stomach. Resting just above his heart, warmed by the nearness of his skin, was the intricately filigreed pendant she had given him as a child so many years ago. She was reminded of their brief time in the guard tower when he had told her how he cherished it. Silently, she watched as he pressed his hands into the mantle and leaned into them. He uttered a soft guttural sound of pain as he lowered his shaggy head to rest on his clasped hands. Unable to witness his suffering any longer, she stepped further into the room.
"Nathaniel?" she whispered.
Slowly, as if in a dream, he turned from the fireplace towards her.
"Linny?"
"I had to come," she replied softly.
He stared at her, disbelieving of his own eyes. She stood in his room, as if summoned by his tortured thoughts. He gaped a long moment until eventually reason emerged, and a glint of anger sparked. "The king will have me killed if he finds you here. I have seen the way he looks at you. You of all people should know his jealousy will not allow him to forgive such a breach of his trust."
"The king will not find out," Madeline assured him. "There are secret tunnels throughout this castle. Few have knowledge of them and even less find use for them. As you can see," Madeline gestured towards the opening in the wooden panel. "This is why I arranged for your change of bed chambers."
"I assume the king showed you these passageways for his own purposes?" he asked dryly, bitterly. Irrationally, he felt betrayed.
She nodded briefly but didn't defend herself.
"What if he comes to you tonight?" he asked with a clenched jaw.
"He won't," she said, blushing. She spoke almost too quietly for him to hear her. "He promised me more time to grieve."
"Why are you here, Madeline?" he questioned her brusquely, unwilling to allow himself to soften towards her.
"I must speak with you," she explained, raising pleading eyes to his.
Nate drew his body up to its full imposing height, straight and still, bristling with wounded resentment.
"Whatever you have to say, there will be
time enough another day." He tipped his head at the entrance to the tunnel, dismissing her.
"Surrounded by courtiers and gossip mongers? We rarely have so much as a single chance for a private word, as well you know. After all we have meant to each other, there are things I must say, options and courses to discuss."
He groaned and again swiped his fingers through his hair, his shoulders slumping forward in defeat. "Madeline, you have never been cruel. Why do you taunt me with what I cannot have? Is there no mercy in you?" he begged.
She could see the intensity of his pain and knew his love for her to be the sole cause. "Nate," she choked out. "I didn't understand your worth to me until it was too late. Forgive me," she implored, heartsick.
She stepped closer to him and brushed her fingers over the gold and emerald pendant glowing against his chest. Slowly his fingers slid up and clutched her small hand in his much larger one. For an exquisitely enduring moment, Madeline stared into the deep pools of his eyes. Eventually, she stood on her bare toes and brushed her lips ever so softly against his, the barest whisper of a caress. He groaned again, from deep in his throat, the sound of a wounded animal caught in a trap.
"In another life, things would have been different," she sighed against his lips, her breath mingling with his. "In another life, I would not be the king's and you would not be hers. I beg you, let us live that life."
With a choked sob, he caught her up in his arms and drank from her lips in desperation.
"I can't," he moaned, forcing himself to pull back, holding her at arm’s length, still tasting her on his lips. "I cannot. I am to be married."
"But you are not now, and you can yet be mine. As I can be yours," she supplicated. "Don't marry her, Nate," she beseeched him. "Come away with me."
"And the king?" he asked sadly. “Do you love him?” His hands cupped her face and he traced the arch of her eyebrows with his thumb.
"Nay, never. And we can evade his anger if we leave this place, now. It won't be easy but we will be together."
"Mayhap, but what of Aileth?" he probed sorrowfully.
"Leave her," she cried, frustrated. "You don't love her. She will never make you happy."
"Nay, you speak the truth, but she has feelings for me," he answered her softly, regretfully. He paused a long moment before he added helplessly, "I would give up anything and everything for you Linny. But I cannot leave her, she carries my child."
"No!" Madeline burst out in agonizing disbelief. She turned her head away from him, unable to see the anguish etched on his face.
"Aye tis true," he said quietly, his eyes grieving and distressed. "Madeline," he said gently, drawing her into the protective circle of his arms, "I would move the heavens and earth to be with you but this would not be right nor fair, my love, and I know you understand that. You grasp at a solution where there is none. You wouldn't have me do that to her, would you? Pray don’t ask it of me."
"Nay," she whispered disconsolately. "Neither you nor I could ever live with ourselves."
She buried her face in his strong chest as a wrenching cry bubbled up and burst out of her. She knew he was right but she couldn't fathom life without him. She could feel his heart beating against her cheek as the flood of tears came, wracking her body, breaking her heart. All the while, Nate held her, stroking her hair, himself choking with wretched sobs.
Slowly, her cries turned into great, hiccuping gulps and Nathaniel unwound his arms, cupping her face once again in his calloused hands. He touched his lips sweetly to hers. The taste of their mingled tears was salty on her tongue. Then he lifted his head, his blue eyes searching the depths of her green ones.
"I have always loved you," he swore, gazing down at her, his hair hanging long around the strong planes of his face and the truth shining there in his eyes for her to see. "From the moment you drew your first breath, to the moment I draw my final one. That will never change. I have loved you and so I will always do."
With a whimper, Madeline wrapped herself about him. "Then let us forget the merciless injustices of this world that prevent what is natural and hold us apart. Make me yours again, if only for this night."
Slowly, she let her cloak slide from her shoulders. Completely entranced, he watched as she pulled the tie from her braided hair, letting the flame-coloured tresses fall free. Her hands moved tantalizingly to undo the laces at the front of her wool kirtle, her emerald eyes never breaking contact with his.
Nathaniel couldn't look away, mesmerized by alluring glimpses of the ivory smoothness he remembered every night when he closed his eyes, white and smooth as pearl but hot under his touch. He reached out and hooked one strong finger under the neckline of her garment and pushed it off a delicate shoulder. He felt Madeline shudder. Then he did the same with the other. With nothing to hold it, the gown fell to her waist, leaving her exposed and trembling with want. The same finger traced her collarbone and then down to the lush mounds that rose and fell with her shallow breaths. Spreading his hands he cupped the bounty that overflowed them, reminding him of their fullness and that perfect stolen moment when he had branded her as his own.
Madeline slid her eyes closed in ecstasy as his fingers moulded around her breasts, sending spirals of heat shooting through her, pooling between her legs. "Nate," she softly begged. "Nate, please, love me. There has never been anyone but you."
He knew he shouldn't. His king had claimed her and he belonged to another. But he had spent so many years burning for her and longing for her touch. Their souls were inextricably entwined, and as they stood here now, he knew he was incapable of denying her plea. He couldn't resist the temptation to pretend she was his, if only for a few precious hours of this cruelly ironic life.
She moved her hand down between them and he felt it brush softly, erotically against his groin. He plunged both hands into the titian waves that tumbled loosely down about her shoulders. Clutching at the silky smooth strands that tangled about his splayed fingers, he dragged her mouth to his and claimed it with a heat that seared her to the core. Her awareness of place and time ceased to exist, her only reality being this man and this moment. She slanted her mouth frantically across his, opening it to draw him into herself, wanting to absorb him. She held him to herself and ran her hands down his back, feeling the play of muscle rippling under her sensitive fingertips. He was bigger and stronger than when she had last held him. She revelled in the beating of his heart and the beauty of the man whose love had never wavered from her, ever loyal.
She slid her hands around to his hard buttocks, drawing him up against herself, wanting to feel every inch of his masculine body against her own. Nathaniel growled carnally, then stepped away. Madeline cried out at the loss of him but he simply drew off his braies and reached out, pulling her back to himself. His hands brushed over the swell of her hips, sliding her gown off them to pool about her feet on the stone floor. The incomparable sensation of his heated, naked skin against her own bare flesh nearly brought her to tears.
Once again he lowered his mouth and laid siege to her own, his tongue mating and twisting and dancing with hers. His hands roaming freely over sensitized skin, learning her again. She twisted her arms around the thick column of his neck and held onto him for dear life, swept away and overwhelmed with the strength of his passion. She could feel him trembling before she realized she also quivered like a leaf. The memories of the only other time he had laid claim to her, returned in vibrant waves. Her knees buckled and she would have fallen but with his innate understanding of her needs, Nathaniel swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
Laying her gently on the smooth velvet bed covering, he stood back and gazed upon her. For that long sensuous moment, Madeline could see desire, love, and awe shining in his eyes.
"Come to me," she begged, holding her arms out to him, her eyes heavily lidded. "I crave you."
Nathaniel smiled his familiar, precious, lopsided grin.
"As you wish, milady," he agreed, lowering himself onto her.
Nate's lips also travelled lower, finally drawing circles about her breast with his tongue, closer and closer to the aroused peak. His mouth finally closed over the sensitive bud and he suckled strongly at it. A bolt of lightning shot through Madeline and she arched off the bed, crying out with her need of him. He continued to suck and lap as she writhed beneath him, begging him for more. She ground her hips against his erection and was satisfied to feel his groan vibrate against her breast.
She grasped his buttocks again and pulled him against the place that was weeping with desire for him.
"Madeline," he moaned. "I have no control with you. I am dying with want of you."
She could no longer bear not having him within herself, her longing for him overriding any thought. She wrapped her long, slender legs around his slim hips and pulled him up against herself. His member pressed against her secret place, driving her wild with desire.
Nathaniel held himself still and leaned down to take her mouth in a long, meaningful kiss.
"No matter our fate, you are mine and I am yours," he declared against her lips as he sheathed himself to the hilt inside her.
Madeline screamed out in pleasure as he filled her. He was huge, stretching her almost uncomfortably. Her head thrashed from side to side and her hands clutched at him, drawing him deeper inside herself.
"Nate!" she cried as he withdrew, then thrust himself back into her. "Ah! Nate!"
She met his every movement, two beings yet one. He pumped himself into her over and over, one moment his head thrown back in ecstasy, the next his hot mouth on hers, his tongue trysting with her own.
Far too soon, Madeline could feel waves of pleasure cresting though she tried to stave them off, never wanting this moment to end. But Nate's hardness stretching and pounding into her brought her to the peak of paradise and sent her tumbling over the edge. Her body pulsed and hummed and she screamed his name into his mouth as she climaxed. Her body shook with the violence of her response to him. Vaguely, she felt Nate smile against her lips.