Fox Lost (The Madison Wolves)

by Robin Roseau

  "My strong wolf," I whispered.

  Her lips brushed mine, and then she carried me around the room, I thought to the bed. She set my on my feet and held me steady, then her hands slid down my sides, her thumbs sliding inside my jeans. I steadied myself with my hands on her shoulders then squirmed cooperatively as she stripped my jeans and undies down my legs.

  "Step out of them," she said, helping me.

  "Please, Lara," I said, "You too."

  I heard rustling and a moment later, she stepped into me, wrapping her arms around me. We stood there for a moment, our bodies pressed together. I laid my head against her chest and breathed in deeply.

  "Oh Lara," I said. "Tighter."

  And she did, holding me as tightly as I liked. By now she knew exactly how firmly to hold me.

  I could hear her heart beating in her chest.

  "I love that sound," I told her.

  She held me for a moment then began to relax her arms, and I knew she was going to pick me up again. One arm slid down my back to my legs, and I wrapped my arms around her neck, leaning into her arms. She scooped me from my feet then gently laid me into the bed.

  Sometimes -- most of the times, really -- Lara is more forceful than this. Oh, she never forced me. I loved everything she did to me. But she was being especially gentle in spite of her dominance. That usually meant she was troubled.

  When she climbed onto the bed, I said, "Lara?"

  "Yes, Little Fox?"

  "Are you all right?"

  "Yes, honey. I'm fine."

  "Please, may I look at you when you say that?"

  "Oh, honey, I'm fine. You may look."

  I opened my eyes. Lara was kneeling over me, her face not far from mine. I reached out and caressed her cheek.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Everything is fine, Michaela."

  "Something is wrong. Why won't you tell me? If you don't tell me, you know I'm going to worry."

  "Nothing is wrong." But she pulled me into her arms and held me tightly, and I knew she was lying.

  "Tell me, Lara."

  "Close your eyes," she ordered.

  "Promise you'll tell me and I'll do whatever you say."

  "Close your eyes," she said again.

  I closed my eyes gently. "They're closed," I replied.

  She leaned away from me and kissed me over each eye.

  "What's your biggest fear?" she asked me.

  "That you'll stop loving me."

  She pulled me back into her arms, holding me tightly. "Oh honey, you know that's never going to happen."

  "What is yours?" I asked quietly.

  "That you'll stop needing me."

  "Then I guess we both have silly fears," I said. "Shouldn't we be worried about the girls?"

  "We both have our irrational fears," she replied. "The girls we can do something about. We can protect them. But I can't make you need me."

  "And I can't make you continue to love me," I replied. "But you know I'm always going to need you. And more importantly, I am always going to want you."

  "And I will always love you."

  "Is this what was bothering you?"

  "Yes."

  I pushed away so I could look at her. Her brow was furrowed.

  "Tonight, Lara," I said, "I need to feel your touch."

  "Close your eyes, Little Fox," she said. Once I did, she took my hands and moved them so I was clutching the headboard. "Do not let go," she ordered.

  "Did you want to tie them?" I asked.

  "No, I want you to obey me."

  "I won't let go," I said quietly.

  And I didn't.

  * * * *

  I stretched then listened before rolling over to Lara. "Why is our house full of people?" I asked her.

  She grinned at me.

  "They're down there hoping to tease me, aren't they?"

  "I'm sure no one is here to tease you, Little Fox."

  I rolled on top of her, surprised when she let me. I perched over her. "Are you in a hurry this morning?"

  "You have classes to teach, and even I wouldn't let you teach class smelling of as much musk as you do this morning."

  I grinned at her. "Then I guess we'll have to kill two birds with one stone. I'll be in the shower."

  I rolled off of her, surprised that she let me, and slipped into the bathroom. I was barely stepping under the water when the door opened behind me. Lara followed me right into the shower and had me pressed against the back wall instantly. She kissed me deeply, water running over both of us. I fumbled for the soap while she was kissing me then began to lather her back.

  She broke the kiss and took the soap from me.

  "Lara, wait," I said. "If you're going to do to me what I hope you're going to do to me, then I should wash you first."

  "Oh? What if I don't want to wait?"

  "We both know I'm going to be worthless afterwards, and I really want to wash you."

  She grinned and gave the soap back to me.

  "You have two minutes, Michaela."

  "That's hardly enough to wash such a fine body as yours, Alpha," I replied. But I knew she was serious, and I began washing her carefully but quickly. She stood upright and let me, and the shower was big enough I could work my way all around her body to wash her while she stood in one place.

  I was very thorough, and I had her squirming before my two minutes were up.

  But she must have been counting, because suddenly she turned to me, took the soap away, then lifted me in her arms. I wrapped my legs around her and held on tightly. Moments later, she turned so the water was running over my head, wetting my hair. I held on as she washed my hair for me, taking far longer with my hair than I had with her entire body. She washed her own hair as well, which took almost no time at all.

  "Climb down," she ordered eventually, and I unwrapped myself. Lara washed me thoroughly, head to toe, leaving both of us soapy before she pressed me against the back wall of the shower again, sliding a leg between mine. I looked up into her eyes and smiled.

  "Say my name," she said.

  "Lara," I whispered. And she slid her leg into my crotch, pressing against me.

  She took me, slowly at first, then quickly, firmly, but I knew she wouldn't let me come until I was screaming her name.

  She didn't even need to order it. She knew what I needed, and I knew what she needed.

  She supported me as the orgasm arrived, and my scream turned guttural. As the shocks ran through my body, I clung to her, then screamed her name once more before collapsing in her arms, panting badly.

  She held me while I caught my breath.

  "You know my body so well," I whispered.

  She leaned away, propping me against the wall.

  "Open your eyes, Michaela."

  I opened, staring into her eyes.

  "Today, with me, you are safe," she said. "And tomorrow and the next day, and every day forever and ever, I will love you and keep you as safe as I am able."

  "Oh Lara," I said, wrapping my arms around her and hanging on tightly. She wrapped her arms around me as well. "I love you and I need you, now and forever. Never let me go."

  "It might be hard for you to teach class if I don't let you go," she chuckled.

  "Don't tease," I told her. "Hold me tighter."

  I was feeling really good, but I knew she needed to hold me, and she did. We clung together, my heart still pounding.

  "Can you feel my heart?" I asked.

  "Yes."

  "You make it do that," I told her.

  She squeezed me once more then slowly relaxed. But I continued to clutch at her as she turned the water off. She sluiced the water from my skin then opened the shower door and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around me.

  I let her treat me like a doll, both of us feeling a little needy. She dried us both, including a hair dryer and brush for my hair, then carried me into the bedroom and set me on the bed. She dressed herself quickly then picked out my clothes and dressed me, taking her t
ime. I smiled and watched her dreamily.

  I could have shaken off the languor, but I didn't want to, and she seemed happy to take care of me this morning.

  "Are you really going to let me carry you?" she asked.

  "I can walk if I have to," I replied.

  She grinned and picked me up then carried me downstairs. The main floor of the house was full of wolves, and we both knew it, but I wasn't sure Lara realized just how many people were waiting for us.

  She received applause as we appeared at the bottom of the stairs. I simply laid my head against her shoulder and sighed happily.

  It had taken me a long time to realize how important all this was to her, and even longer to accept my role the way she most wanted it.

  "You knew they were all here," Lara whispered, quietly enough only I would hear.

  "Uh huh," I replied quietly. "You make me feel so good, Alpha," I said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

  That earned me some chuckles.

  "Alpha," Francesca said, "is she even going to be able to teach today?"

  "She's resilient," Lara said. "She just needs a little food."

  "I smell bacon," I said.

  "Eric ate it all," Serena said.

  "Nonsense," Francesca said. "Chloe and Catherine are cooking more." She pulled out a chair from the table. "Put her here, Lara."

  Chloe Lassiter and Catherine Simpson were both seniors this year. They, along with Catherine's little sister, Monique, lived with Lara and me during the week but went home to their parents most weekends. Monique was a 14-year-old freshman this year but had been the first student in our enforcer program. I had fourteen kids in my science program, and there were five more, including Monique, in the enforcer program.

  Lara crossed the room, the wolves parting for us, and lowered me into a chair, pushing it into the table before taking the seat next to me. I immediately clutched her arm and laid my head on her shoulder, sighing happily.

  Lara chuckled.

  I was hamming it up a little, but only a little. Lara did make me feel that good. But around me I could see smiles and relaxed postures.

  When the alpha pair was doing well, the pack was doing well, after all. And Lara and I were doing very, very well.

  So I milked the post-coitus languor, letting my students wait on me, letting my friends make little comments on the health of my sex life, letting my mate preen under the praise of her virility.

  Chloe and Catherine poked their noses out a few minutes later carrying pancakes and bacon. They served Lara and me then let anyone else who wanted serve himself.

  "Ms. Burns," Chloe asked me. "What is our first class today?"

  "Chloe," Catherine. "She already held class."

  "She did?" Chloe asked, wide eyed.

  "Yes. She gave a lecture in sex education."

  I actually blushed at that one while everyone else laughed, but as soon as the laughter ebbed, I said, "I hope you were all taking careful notes."

  "It wasn't very edifying," Catherine complained. Then she changed her voice to sound like mine. "Lara. Lara. Lara. Lara!" She actually screamed the last word.

  I roused myself. I thought there was actually an important point to make.

  "Catherine," I said. I looked around. "All of you, actually. My wish for all of you is that your future mates make you as happy as Lara makes me. I am deeply proud of my relationship with Lara. We have our share of disagreements, but we're strong enough, and we trust each other enough to work through them. It takes trust to be honest with your mate." I turned to Lara, who was watching me. I put my hand on her cheek. "It takes trust to be willing to be vulnerable with your mate." I looked around again. "It wasn't easy for me to learn I could be vulnerable with Lara." I smiled at them. "It took even longer before I learned I could be vulnerable with all of you, too."

  I captured a few eyes in mine.

  "I love all of you," I said. I turned to Elisabeth. "Do you remember the first night I was here?"

  "How could I forget?" she said, returning my smile.

  "I was so scared."

  "Why were you scared?" Chloe asked.

  "Oh honey," I said, "that is a long story." I turned to Lara. "Do you think we should tell that at the bonfire next weekend?"

  "Not if you intend to act it out," she replied. "And we would need to tell a version suitable for our youngest members." She turned to Serena. "I doubt you want Kaylee learning what a fox hunt is."

  Serena's eyes grew wide. "No, I do not."

  "Let's not focus on that right now," I said. I looked at Elisabeth. "Do you remember what you told me?"

  She smiled. "You asked if I found you intimidating. I pointed out I could snap you like a twig."

  "Do you remember what you said?"

  "I said several things."

  "You told me you liked me," I said, "but that I didn't belong here."

  She lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, Michaela, I was wrong."

  "I agreed with you, Elisabeth," I said. I laid my head on Lara's shoulder again. "We were both wrong."

  I could tell Lara was smiling broadly.

  I lifted my head and looked around. "My relationship with Lara isn't the only unexpected relationship in the pack. Chloe, your mother is human. And I'm sure we've all seen June's boyfriend, Benny." I shrugged. "Friends come in all packages. So does love. When you find it, celebrate." I turned to Lara. "I intend to celebrate with you until my dying breath, my love."

  She leaned forward and kissed me quickly.

  "Class dismissed," I said quietly, stealing a piece of bacon from Lara's plate.

  * * * *

  After dinner that night, we collected in the council chambers. Present were Lara, Elisabeth, Francesca, Serena, Karen, and me. We also had a conference call going with several of the council members. I was a little surprised to be getting this much attention. I hadn't thought the idea would require so much discussion.

  "Everyone knows what this is about, but I want Michaela to present it again," Lara explained.

  I wished I'd prepared better, and I would rather have had the council members in the room so I could judge their body language. I was forced to speak for the conference phone, which felt like I was yelling to the people physically present.

  But I presented what I wanted to do. Then I explained the concerns that Lara and Serena had laid out.

  Francesca came prepared. "There are currently a total of thirty-seven students who would be eligible," she said. "I am going to be blunt. Michaela, you have taught the elite of the pack. You have never met the average pack member."

  "I don't think you want to put it that way, Francesca, but I understand your point. I agree that my usual way of dealing with an exceedingly unruly wolf is not appropriate for the children of our pack."

  No one laughed at my joke.

  "Let me ask this," I said. "How do people feel about expanding the summer program if we can do so without adding discipline problems?"

  Over the phone, someone immediately asked, "What will it cost the pack?" It sounded like Violet.

  "I'm sorry," I said, "I don't have those numbers yet. It would depend upon how many students we added and how many additional adults we needed to hire as chaperones. I do not know whether you would want to charge a fee. I would really like to find a way to offer opportunity to children who couldn't normally engage in some of these activities. I believe it would be good for the pack."

  "May I suggest," said Lara, "that we decide what the best choice is without worrying about the financial aspect? Frankly, if it's good for the pack, I know we'll find some way to pay for it. And if it's not good for the pack, we aren't going to do it no matter how inexpensive it is."

  "All right," said Violet, "as long as we don't ignore the cost. Michaela, what are you hoping to accomplish?"

  "I feel like we have two packs," I said. "We have the pack that attends pack play nights, and we have the pack I never see. We give a great many opportunities to the students who attend Wolf Run High School. B
ut I wonder if we are serving the rest of the pack equally as well. I realize my responsibility as a teacher at Wolf Run is to my students here. But I also have responsibilities as Alpha, and I am not sure I am fulfilling those as completely as I should be."

  Everyone was silent for a long time.

  "She has a valid point," said James Bent, one of the council members. "To some extent, she also has a conflict of interest between her two positions. Michaela, it has never been the position of the pack council that the pack leadership is responsible for the education of individual pack members."

  "Then why do we have a school?"

  "Originally, to educate the few children living at the compound, which as you know, represents only a fraction of the pack."

  "It started with me teaching Elisabeth and Lara," said Francesca. "Then I added the children of a few enforcers. It grew from there." She paused and then she wouldn't look at me. "Michaela, you understand I am also the principal of Wolf Run?"

  "Yes, Francesca," I said.

  "I will support expanding your summer program only if you maintain the same standards as your all year program," she said. "That means students by invitation and after an extensive interview process."

  I was confused. "Don't I already have all the students that belong in my regular program?"

  "Probably not," she said. "But we would be interviewing for fitness in your summer program. One requirement would be willingness to accept a very tiny fox's dominance." She paused. "Every child at Wolf Run wants to learn. They love learning. The average wolf teenager couldn't care less about high school."

  "But they would care about the things I am offering to teach."

  "Michaela," Lara said, "Do you remember Rory's behavior the first time we went kayaking? Double his insolence towards you and then consider you are offering to have ten to fifteen students like that."

  "Ten to fifteen out of the twenty I am suggesting we add?"

  "Yes," Lara said. "Some of them would act up only if encouraged by the antics of others. And some of them don't act up themselves so much as encourage the others to do so. But yes, ten to fifteen big wolves that you can't effectively discipline yourself."

  "And," said Serena quietly, "probably one or two who know what a fox hunt is."

  That comment landed with a thud. No one said anything for a while as we all absorbed the implications.