A Man's Heart

by Lori Copeland

  Crystal rolled to face her in the moonlight. “We can’t choose our parents. Or our childhoods, but we can choose our adult lives. We can’t let Mom and Pop’s shortcomings determine ours.”

  “So what are you saying? That I should keep trying with Cruz, even when I’ve made a fool of myself endless times?”

  “You love him, don’t you? He’s the only man in the world that you feel this ravenous tie to?”

  “I suppose there is this indelible bond between us. Maybe more a gut feeling that he’s the one — always will be.”

  “Then you should go back and work out the problem. Obviously he hasn’t found anyone to take your place. It will take him time to forgive and regain trust, but you’re up to the wait.”

  Squeezing Crystal’s hand, Jules relented. It could possibly take the rest of her life, but the goal was worth it. Beginning now, she chose to no longer fear. It wouldn’t be easy, but if she were willing to fail, there would be no need to fear—especially if Cruz were the goal. If she had created the problem, there was still hope that she could undo it. He was speaking to her. They had a bond through the children.

  Later the sisters walked hand in hand back to the shell shop. Jules turned on the hose and rinsed the sand off her, and then turned the hose on Crystal. The cold water brought a shrill and a retaliatory water fight. Crystal armed with buckets from the water barrel, Jules wielding the hose. Both were laughing so hard they almost missed the ringing phone.

  Dropping her bucket, Crystal mopped water out of her eyes. “I’ll get it.”

  Toweling dry, Jules trailed her into the house in time to catch the first part of the conversation. Adan was on the other end of the line

  “I’m back. What’s plan two?”

  “No kidding!” Crystal squealed. “That’s wonderful! She played her part. “In how long?”

  “Amazing.”

  “What?” Jules mouthed. “Is something wrong with one of the kids?”

  Shaking her hand, Crystal listened. “Truly fantastic. I’ll bet Cruz is happy.”

  Jules tugged on Crystal’s blouse. “What?”

  Her sister shrugged her hand aside. “Oh, swimming. And making sand angels.

  “Yeah, hard life.” She flashed a grin. “Hey, Adan—hold on. Jules is going ballistic.” She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “Adan potty-trained Livvy in three days.”

  “He what?”

  “Potty-trained Livvy.” Another grin. “And you thought they couldn’t do it.”

  “You read my thoughts.” Jealousy coursed through Jules. She wanted to train Livvy. Show Cruz what a capable mother and potty-trainer she could be. A second even more agonizing reaction hit her. Adan would make a tremendous father. No matter who he married.

  Sophie’s children aren’t crackerjack prizes! She caught her faulty reasoning process. They were precious little souls who deserved all that either Cruz or Adan could give them. Crystal’s voice penetrated her brain. “She’s right here. Does he want to talk to her?”

  Waving the suggestion aside, Jules walked out of the room. She didn’t need Adan or Crystal’s pity. If Cruz wanted to talk to her, he would have made the call. Right now, she could barely absorb the fact that he could, and quite nicely, carry on his life without her.

  A hot shower and clean pajamas failed to erase the deepening ache in her heart. She longed for home — but what awaited her wasn’t the ideal. An independent Cruz. Conflict. He didn’t need her — he didn’t need anyone.

  She glanced at the bedside clock. 1:00 a.m. Ten at home. The phone shrilled.

  Starting, she reached for the cell and her heart leaped when she saw the number. Adan was calling back.

  Only Cruz’s voice met her greeting. “How come you didn’t want to talk to me?” The question was more inquisitive than demanding.

  “I had sand all over me.”

  A smile appeared in his voice. “Have you been out rolling in it?”

  “Actually, I have.” Sitting up straighter, she ran her hand through her damp hair. What did he want at this time of night?

  “I guess Adan told you the news?”

  “You guys potty-trained Livvy. Congratulations.”

  “I didn’t have anything to do with it. It was Adan’s deal.”

  “Still, it’s quite an accomplishment. And in only three days.”

  “Yeah, Adan got the how-to information off the internet.”

  Jules picked at a loose thread on the sheet. You could find anything on the internet these days.

  Cruz tone lowered. “So. When are you coming home?”

  “Soon. Maybe next week. Why?”

  “Why so long?”

  “It’s very restful here.” She noted his gradual change of tone. Gentle. Almost coaxing now. His question was more than polite inquiry, but how much more?

  “Is … there a reason I should come home?” She closed her eyes, praying. Please, please …

  “No reason — the kids miss you. They ask about Aunt Jube every day.”

  “I miss them too.”

  Silence.

  “Next week?”

  Well, it wasn’t exactly like Romeo and Juliet—or even romantic, but it was something. “I’ll check the airline schedule. I should be home by Monday evening.”

  “Okay. Want to call me back on the time? The kids and I can pick you up.”

  She glanced at the clock. “Check tonight?”

  “Sure. I’m awake.”

  But there was a three-hour time distance between them. Still she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

  “Okay. I’ll call the airlines.” Her heart hammered in her throat. He’s asking you to come home … No. He was asking for the children’s sake. No, he was asking for his sake. She’d known him long enough and well enough to know when he wanted something, and he wanted her to come home.

  She closed her eyes. Thank you, God. I don’t deserve this, but thank you. And I won’t fail you or him this time.

  Still … A small part of her had to be certain of what he was asking. She cleared her throat. “Cruz?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you asking me to come home for the children’s benefit … or yours?”

  Silence. Then. “Right now for the kids. But later …” He paused then started over. “I don’t know, Jules. I —” He drew a deep breath. “I miss you.”

  Closing her eyes, she held the receiver closer. “I miss you too.”

  “Maybe …”

  “We could start over?”

  He chuckled. “No thanks. No start overs, but we’ve both grown. Maybe I didn’t understand your needs, and maybe you didn’t understand mine. We could work on knowing each other better.”

  “I’d like that very much.”

  “Jules.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Call the airline.”

  Twenty minutes later she was booked on flight 329. She’d be in Pasco at 9:14 p.m. the following Monday night.

  When she called to tell Cruz, he picked up on the first ring.

  “9:14 p.m., next Monday.”

  “I’ll be there.” He paused. “Will you?”

  She supposed she had that coming, but he couldn’t gain complete trust with one phone conversation. “I’ll be there, Cruz.”

  “I’m dead serious, Jules. Will you be there this time? To stay?”

  She despised the hurt, yet the hope she heard in his voice. She’d be there. Nothing could keep her from this date.

  “It’s a promise. An adult-we’ve-both-grown, promise. I will be there.” Never again would she allow anyone but the Almighty to come between them. That was a pledge she’d have no troubling keeping.

  “Then I’ll be at the gate waiting for you. 9:14 p.m. Monday evening.”

  Chapter 47

  Jules cringed when a sharp bolt of lightning lit the bedroom. She was packed, ready to leave for the airport, anticipating a bumpy flight, but she’d face anything to get back home and into Cruz’s arms. Sitting down on the bed,
she repeated the thought out loud, loving the sound. Cruz and her. With work, they could regain what she’d neglected twice; she had no doubt that their love could overcome this last dreadful obstacle — regaining his trust. She’d loved Pop, respected his wishes, but it was now her time to fully love the one man she’d never stopped loving.

  Crystal called from the kitchen, “We’d better go or you’re going to be late for your flight!”

  Jules chuckled, laying her cell phone on the bed. Only an act of God could make her late for this flight. Slipping off the mattress, she closed and locked the suitcase and then set it on the floor. Outside, rain and thunder lashed the windows. Shuddering, she imagined a turbulent flight with this kind of weather, but right now she’d fly a Canada goose back to Cruz.

  “I’m getting in the car!” Crystal called. “Traffic will be horrible this time of day.”

  Reaching for her purse, Jules grabbed the luggage handle and rolled her case to the garage where Crystal’s old Fiat sat covered with a blue tarp. Her sister rarely drove, preferring to ride her bike or walk. The tarp came off, and the luggage was stored in the backseat. The two women climbed in and buckled up. The old engine cranked refusing to turn over. Jules checked her watch. “Will it start?” They’d gone for dinners and ice cream a few times since she’d been here, and once the old motor refused to cooperate. They had walked home and sent a mechanic back for the Fiat the next morning. She checked her watch. She still had plenty of time to call a cab.

  “It’ll start. It’s just fussy.” Her sister turned the key, coaxing the motor to life. Eventually the engine caught and sputtered. Black smoke poured from the tailpipe as Crystal slowly backed out of the shed.

  Rain pelted the canvas roof during the drive to the airport. Severe lightning moved on, but a steady downpour flooded the streets. Halfway there, Crystal glanced at the wavering gas needle. “I need gas. I’m running on fumes.”

  Jules checked her watch. “Can’t we make it to the airport and then you can get fuel?”

  “No.” She checked the rearview mirror. “We won’t make it to the airport. There’s a truck stop up ahead. Hold on.”

  Anxiety building, Jules grasped her seat buckle as Crystal crossed three lanes and exited. Thunder boomed.

  Climbing out of the car, Crystal raked her credit card through the pump station, and then started fuel flowing. Checking the time, Jules ticked off the minutes.

  “Aunt Jube’s coming home!”

  “Aunt Jube!” Olivia mimicked Ethan’s antics, racing around the living room floor with Cruz chasing behind him holding his coat.

  “Come on, Ethan. You’ve got to put your coat on. We’re going to be late.” He glanced at the wall clock. Six-thirty. They still had plenty of time before Jules’s plane landed, but while he was in Pasco he wanted to shop — buy Jules a little something to say welcome home. The last thing he’d bought her was an engagement ring. He still had it in his top drawer: only been worn twice. Are you setting yourself up for another fall? Would she show up this time?

  He hoped so; with everything in him, he hoped so. Without her, his life was empty and meaningless. He’d thought for a long time he would find someone, some other woman that ignited his passion, but he hadn’t. Nobody could replace her. He didn’t like the idea, but he was stuck with it. And he was weary of fighting his feelings. Maybe God created Jules for him, and if he missed the opportunity, he would go through life wondering where he’d taken the last wrong turn.

  Cruz knew his road map. And he wasn’t taking any more wrong turns.

  Once he was through shopping, he’d feed the kids and drive to the airport. He checked the clock again. Doubt nagged him but he shoved it aside. Trust had to start somewhere, and the past few weeks had proven that he still needed her. Oddly enough, he liked the idea. The only person he’d been kidding the past few years was himself. He couldn’t get her off his mind or out of his heart. The years had made a difference in both their lives. She’d matured and so had he. Neither one was perfect, but they could work on their differences. They were no longer starry-eyed teenagers; they knew if a goal was worth working on, it meant trust and sacrifice. With God’s help, they would defeat their obstacles. He wasn’t willing to go through life like Pop, miss out on the best life had to offer, family, love, because he was incapable of forgiving. It was time to bury the past and acknowledge that in time mistakes could be overcome. He and Jules wouldn’t straighten everything out at once, right every wrong or correct every mistake, but he was betting they could, given time. And they both had lots of time.

  “Ethan! Slow down and put your coat on.”

  The boy slowed and Cruz slipped the child’s arms through the heavy fabric. Temperatures were in the low twenties at night. He thought about Jules coming out of balmy Florida and how she’d resent the climate change. Washington wasn’t Florida, but it was home, and he knew home took precedent over environment in her heart.

  God, don’t let her back-out on me again.

  He shook his head, refusing to consider that she’d give her word and not show up. She loved the kids too much, loved him too much. He could see it in her eyes when she looked at him. She wouldn’t stay in Florida when he was offering her a chance to start over. Would she? He reached for one of his heavy jackets, knowing she wouldn’t be wearing one when she got off the plane.

  Adan appeared in the doorway, capturing Olivia. “Come on, Cricket. It’s time to bundle up.”

  Cruz turned to look at him. “Are you going with us?”

  “You want me to?”

  “It’s not necessary.” He’d hoped to have the time at the gate alone with Jules. There was a lot to talk about, a lot of rebuilding to start.

  “Then I won’t go. I’m going to The Grille, eat and play a game of pool.” He put Olivia’s coat and mittens on her. The child was bundled tight as a tick. “Crystal’s not coming, is she?”

  “Jules didn’t mention her. I assume she’ll stay in Florida, run the shell shop.”

  Adan sobered. “I hope not.”

  “You want her to come back here?”

  Shrugging, Adan tied on Livvy’s hat. “Can’t say that I’d mind. She’s a lot of fun, great to watch movies with, and she loves these kids.”

  Grinning, Cruz wondered who would beat whom to the altar first. He and Jules? Or Adan and Crystal. “Uncle Adan?”

  Adan glanced at Livvy. “Yeah, Cricket?”

  “I hafta go.”

  The Fiat pulled back onto Interstate 10, heading eastbound. Jules glanced at the digital clock Crystal had mounted on the dash. “It’s eleven o’clock! The plane leaves in an hour.”

  “An hour and seven minutes,” Crystal corrected. “We have plenty of time.”

  “Drive faster.”

  “You’re always in such a hurry.” Crystal mashed on the gas pedal and the Fiat streaked down the interstate.

  Or not. Jules grasped her seat. A dead Jules would be worthless. She’d like to get there alive.

  “Here’s where Mom had her accident.”

  Jules whipped her head to look as the car shot past. Poor Mom. She must have been terrified when she looked up and spotted the diesel coming toward her. Had her life flashed through her mind? Had she thought of me and Pop? Did she have regrets? It’s okay, Mom. I know mistakes are hard to correct. I forgive you.

  Fifteen minutes later, the Fiat screeched to a halt at arrivals/departures. Jules piled out, grabbed her bag from the back seat, hugged Crystal, and promised to keep in close touch. She even got a little misty during the leave taking. For the first time in her life, Jules meant it when they both said the obligatory “I love you.” Sometime during the past hectic months, she’d fallen in love with her sister.

  She took advantage of curbside check-in and entered the terminal through the manual door.

  The airport was full. Chairs were filled, walls lined with sleeping flyers. Jules sensed a hitch when she approached security. She eyed the long line and her stomach fluttered. “Is there a pro
blem?” she asked a woman standing in front of her.

  “The storm knocked out power. The tower is down.”

  Jules’s stomach tightened. “Flights are delayed?”

  “Afraid so.” The woman sighed. “This could be a long day.”

  Jules reached for her cell phone and then realized that she’d left it on the bed. She’d have to find a public phone, call Cruz and tell him the plane would be late. Did they even have public phones anymore? Lights flickered. A murmur went up. Then they came back on.

  Then everything went dark. A murky gray consumed Jules and she swallowed back rising hysteria. Voices floated around her. Disgruntled. Frantic. She was standing in the security line but she couldn’t move an inch. She’d always had a good sense of direction but at the moment she couldn’t make out right from left. She had never once thought of being in a strange airport with no lighting and a black storm overhead.

  Voices filtered through the abyss. “Where’s the back-up power?”

  “What’s going on?”

  She turned, completely at a loss of direction. The largeness of the airport engulfed her. Until the lights came on, she was imprisoned. Five, then ten minutes passed. An eerie calm now swallowed the terminal. No one could move with any certainty. Occasionally a small flashlight beam swept the packed area. Jules was still in the security line. Standing. Finally she thought of the woman in front of her and she bent and spoke into the void. “Do you have a cell phone?”

  “Why … yes. My daughter gave me one last Christmas. It’s disposable, but I have seventeen minutes left. I carry it for emergencies — do you know how to use it?”

  “I can try.” Jules knew Crystal’s cell number by heart. If she could get a signal, she’d have Crystal turn around and come back for her. They could call Cruz and inform him of the delay … She couldn’t let him go to the airport and not find her on the flight — but then the flight wouldn’t be going out. Elation filled her. He’d know the flight was delayed.