What About Charlie?

by Haley Michelle Howard

  He took it, then she took a bite for herself. Suddenly the cheesecake was gone and they were left staring at each other, neither looking away, neither hiding the wanting, the desire, the need expressed in their eyes and pulsing through their bodies.

  Evan turned towards her and lifted his hand, gently placing it on Charlie’s cheek. He lightly rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb. “Charlie I…I can’t get our kiss out of my mind…”

  His voice trailed away as his eyes, filled with want and need, searched hers.

  Charlie’s heartbeat quickened when she saw the raw desire flicker in his eyes. She absently licked her lips, her mind on Evan’s firm mouth that was now only inches from hers. How she longed to feel his soft lips on hers once again!

  His lips drifted down to hers, touching hers, as soft as a feather. Charlie opened her mouth to him, welcoming him.

  Needing him.

  It was as if they were back on her front porch, the desire and want between them undiminished in a week’s time, maybe even stronger because, at that time, they had barely tasted what was between them. This time they were both eager to taste more, knowing how good it had been before.

  Heat and excitement sizzled between them. Evan’s hands feverishly roamed her body, his fingers combing through her hair, his hands caressing her back, slowly working down to her buttocks, cupping it, pulling her closer to him.

  The feel of him pressed against her leg made her even hotter. He was so hard. She longed to touch him there, to cup him with her hand so she could feel his hardness, his heat, his throbbing for her.

  But she was too shy to touch him there. Instead, she pressed herself even closer to him, feeling his desire for her, hot and throbbing, pressed even harder against her thigh. Her breasts were almost flat against his chest. The insatiable need to do something overwhelmed her. She wanted him so much.

  Him.

  No one else.

  Only Evan.

  Charlie moved her hands down his back, then up over his shoulders, coming to rest on his hard chest.

  Then to her surprise, he gently cupped her breast, kneading it with his fingers. She’d thought she’d been in ecstasy, but his touch sent a surge of heat through her like a lightning bolt. It was so hot she felt like she was on fire, being consumed by desire. She needed him inside her.

  Evan suddenly leaned back from her out of her grasp.

  Desperate for this not to end, Charlie reached for him, her eyes glazed with passion. “Please,” she mumbled huskily.

  Evan, his green eyes dark and filled with heat, looked down into her eyes.

  And want.

  And need.

  Without saying a word, he stood and held out his hand to her. Charlie extended hers and he clasped it, pulling her to her feet and leading her into her bedroom.

  In only a few moments, she was laying on the bed, looking up at him as he kneeled beside her.

  “Charlie, I need you,” he rasped. “I need you so damn much.”

  “I need you too, Evan.”

  A flash of realization and then disappointment crossed his face. He started to ease away from her. “I don’t have any protection.”

  Charlie, desperate not to lose the moment, needing this more than she ever needed anything in her life, grabbed his arm. “I’m on the pill, Evan. We’ll be ok.”

  Charlie watched him, his conflicting emotions evident upon his face.

  “You sure, Charlie?” he asked hesitantly.

  She nodded, looking like a goddess, a temptress, her dark blonde curls fanned about her head as she lay on the pillow, her pink lips slightly parted, waiting for him to kiss her once more.

  He was weakening. “I’ve always used my own protection. This is the first time I haven’t.”

  “This is my first time, too, Evan.”

  She reached for him and he willingly bent towards her, forcefully pressing his lips down on hers. This time the kiss wasn’t soft or gentle. It was hot and eager, filled with passion.

  Charlie ran her fingers through his hair, then up and down his back. Evan pulled a hairbreadth away from her and lifted her shirt, pulling the soft cups of her lacy bra away from her creamy breasts. When he brought his mouth down to her breast, she moaned, consumed by how she was feeling as he suckled it, kissed it, licked it with his tongue, tracing the nipple and then taking it in his mouth again.

  Her heart pounding erratically, she could feel the moisture between her legs, experiencing desire and want and need like she’d never experienced before. She had to do something. She wanted him closer.

  “Evan,” she gasped. “Let me take my bra off.”

  When he moved back she sat up. Reaching out, he tugged her shirt off her and then reached around her back and unhooked the snap of her bra, removing it in one swift movement.

  His eyes never leaving hers, Evan stood and removed his shirt and pants and underwear.

  Charlie stared at him in awe. She quickly pulled her pants off, leaving her lacy underwear on.

  “Charlie.”

  “Make love to me.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her once again, gently lowering her down until her head lay on the pillow. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and slid his hand down her stomach to the dainty elastic band of her underwear.

  He tugged on her underwear, pulling them down her legs. For a moment he froze, staring at her.

  “Charlie, you’re shaved.”

  “Yes.”

  He reached his hand out and touched the soft skin where hair had been before she’d shaved it off.

  “You feel so soft,” he groaned before he bent and took her mouth with his once more. Then he began caressing her, dipping his fingers into her warm, moist folds.

  Wantonly, she moved her hips against his hand. Her need for him overwhelming her so much that she wasn’t even thinking about what she was doing. It was like some primal instinct had kicked in and she was doing it automatically without thought.

  When she felt his finger enter her, she moaned and arched against him. She felt like she was flying, soaring in the sky.

  “Evan, I need you inside me.”

  He straddled her, entering her. Charlie winced from the searing pain. She opened her eyes and he was looking down at her, the glaze of passion in his eyes replaced by stark realization.

  Realization that Charlie was a virgin.

  Rather had been a virgin.

  He quickly rolled off her as if he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

  Standing beside the bed, Evan cursed, turning his back to her, seething that she had lied to him. He jerked on his underwear and pants, then he turned to face her.

  “Damn it, you lied to me.”

  “I did not.”

  His eyes bored into her. “You lied, Charlie.”

  She lifted her chin despite the quaking in her stomach. “I told you it was my first time.”

  “You know as well as I do that was not the subject of the conversation,” he bit out with disgust.

  Charlie looked away, ashamed for not telling him the truth. She’d wanted this moment so much; she had wanted this moment to be with Evan.

  Looking back up into his angry eyes, she said softly, “It still doesn’t change this, Evan.”

  He shook his head while grabbing his shirt off the floor and tugging it over his head. “You’re wrong, Charlie. It changes everything.”

  When he turned to leave the room, Charlie jumped out of the bed, pulling the sheet and wrapping it around her, following him to the living room.

  “Don’t leave like this, Evan,” she said to his retreating back. “Please,” she pled, the word feeling as if it was stuck in her throat.

  He stopped briefly as if he were going to turn around. Suddenly, he grabbed his jacket off the chair next to him and headed for the front door, opening it and letting it slam behind him as he left.

  Charlie stood there for several long seconds, hoping that he would come back, that he would see that they could work this
out. After all they were best friends.

  Suddenly, reality hit her like a pan of cold water thrown in her face. Putting her hands to her mouth, the sheet she’d been holding slipped to the floor. After this, she realized, they may not even be friends at all.

  Chapter 8

  Evan sat alone in his office drinking a Dr. Pepper and eating a bag of Cheetos. It was Friday. Two weeks to the day that he and Charlie had their awful encounter. It seemed like it had been two months instead of two weeks since he’d last seen her. Resting his head against the back of the sofa on which he was sitting, he thought about her. He missed her so much. He hadn’t realized that she had played such an important role in his life. He missed her smile. He missed those lovely eyes that seemed to melt his soul whenever she turned them on him. But most of all, he missed her company, her kindness. She was such a joy to be around. She was one of the few people with whom he felt comfortable and at ease, with whom he could let his guard down and be himself.

  Since that night, he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind. What had transpired between them had been incredible – not just for him, but he suspected for Charlie, too. It had felt so right to be kissing and caressing her. He had felt an immediate connection with her, heart to heart, soul to soul. And it wasn’t because of his lust. It was something much more, deeper. He’d never felt that type of connection with a woman before. It had been so strange but so exhilarating at the same time. He was at a loss for words as to exactly how to describe it. All he knew for sure was he had never felt that way before. Never.

  Today was their usual lunch day, but he hadn’t bothered going to the cafeteria to see if she had shown up. Charlie wouldn’t be there. Of that he could be sure. Not after what had transpired between them. He had neither talked to her nor seen her since. For some reason, he felt ashamed. It was silly since she was the one who had deceived him. But nonetheless he felt as if he had betrayed her, taking something from her that should had given to the man she loved.

  He should have never let his feelings, his insatiable want for her get so out of control. He blamed Alan for planting that seed about Charlie in his mind, though he knew blaming Alan was a copout. There was no one to blame but himself. He was a grown man. It was incumbent upon him to act responsibly, to take responsibility for his own actions. Instead, he acted like a randy teenager, following the desire in his loins and, yes, his heart for her. He had taken her virginity and left her crying. She deserved a heck of a lot better than that.

  Never in his wildest dreams had he expected her to be a virgin. Over the past five years, she’d had several boyfriends. Now days, it was common for men and women to have sex if they weren’t married. He had thought the same of Charlie and her boyfriends though he knew she wasn’t the type to sleep around. Looking back, the relationships she’d had hadn’t lasted very long at all. Evan gave a wry smile. Probably the poor guys couldn’t take it because she wouldn’t give it up, he thought crassly.

  Evan suddenly felt very sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes.

  God, what had he done?

  His office door opened with a click. Evan’s stomach lurched with anticipation. Had Charlie come after all? Slowly he opened his eyes, disappointed only to see Alan standing there gazing down at him.

  “It’s you,” he said unenthusiastically.

  Alan gave a wry smile. “Gee, what a nice greeting for your good friend and colleague.” Alan sat in a chair across from Evan. “Who were you expecting?”

  Evan glanced at his friend, wondering what he should tell Alan, if anything. He usually wasn’t a person to talk about his problems, but he felt like he needed to talk to someone. He couldn’t talk to his brother Michael. He would laugh his ass off that his staid, older brother had acted so out of character, screwing things up so royally. And talking to his dad was out of the question. His father would start talking about honor and doing the right thing. Before he knew it, his dad would tell him he needed to do the honorable thing and marry her because he’d taken her virginity. Evan glanced back at Alan, his mind made up. He had to talk to someone, and Alan was the only person he could turn to.

  “I was hoping you were Charlie.”

  “Ah.”

  “We uh…” Evan looked away from his friend, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, the thought of telling Alan about what had transpired between he and Charlie somehow seeming wrong. It was their private business and theirs alone. “We, uh, got to know each other better one night a few weeks back.” What else could he have said?

  Alan simply stared at him like he hadn’t understood a single word he said.

  “Damn it! You’re going to make me say it.”

  Alan smiled, seeming to enjoy Evan’s distress. “What’s so wrong with admitting that you slept with a very pretty lady? You never seemed to mind telling me about the other women you’ve slept with in the past.”

  Evan narrowed his eyes. “Charlie isn’t like them, Alan. She’s so different from anyone I’ve ever slept with.”

  “Ah,” he said again, stifling a smile. “So, how did it go? Was it as you had hoped?”

  “It’s not funny, Alan. You enjoy seeing me so unglued, don’t you?”

  “I like seeing you actually showing some feeling. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

  Evan sighed. “You have no idea what happened. It was horrible. A nightmare.” He looked up at Alan, his eyes filled with self-loathing. “She was virgin, Alan. A god damned virgin.”

  Alan whistled. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Nope.”

  “You mean the hymen was intact?”

  “Yes.”

  “I never would have thought.”

  “Me neither. She’s had boyfriends. So, I thought that she had obviously slept with them. That’s what couples do. Needless to say, I was furious that she didn’t tell me beforehand. She led me to believe she’d been with a man. I had no reason to believe she hadn’t.”

  “Did you confront her?”

  “Of course,” Evan said indignantly, the anger he’d originally suppressed coming back in full force.

  “How did she react? What did she say?”

  “Let me just say she was very upset and crying when I left. It’s a damn mess, Alan. I should have never crossed the line. I should never have given in to my feelings.”

  “You’re still angry.”

  “Damn straight. I’m angry at her. I’m angry at myself. I took something from her that she can never get back. She had obviously been saving herself for the love of her life and here I come and take her virginity away.”

  Alan looked pointedly at Evan. “The way I see it, it was hers to give. She happened to choose to give it to you.”

  Evan nodded thoughtfully. The thought had crossed his mind. Why after all these years of remaining a virgin had she suddenly decided to give her virginity to him?

  “It was something she shouldn’t have done. She should have saved it for the love of her life, the man she wants to marry if she’s waited this long. She shouldn’t have settled for me.”

  “Maybe you are the love of her life, Evan. Have you thought about that?”

  Evan’s heart felt like it skipped a beat. No, he wanted to scream. “I don’t want to be the love of her life,” he bit out angrily. “I don’t want that responsibility hanging around my neck like a noose. I don’t want to feel obligated to her for the rest of her life.

  “Then what were your intentions when you had, uh, relations with her? You knew Charlie had lived a sheltered life, still does pretty much. You knew she didn’t sleep around or have one-night stands. She’s always had relationships, Evan.”

  Evan rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, irritated with himself and his lack of foresight. Normally he was such a methodical person. “I know, Alan. I know. She has me so tied in knots I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. The way I feel about her is very different compared to other women. I can’t even think straight.”

  “Do you love her? H
ave you ever been as anguished over how you’ve treated a woman?”

  Evan ignored Alan’s questions. The answers frightened him too much.

  “If she just would have told me, I would have backed off and right now everything would be ok.”

  Alan smiled. “First of all, you know as well as I do everything would not have been ok. You’d still be panting after her like a hound after a scent. And second of all, I don’t see why you expected her to tell you in the first place. From what I know of Charlie, she doesn’t talk about those kinds of things. Anything remotely risqué makes her blush. Her virginity was hers to give, and she chose to give it to you. It wasn’t your choice; it was hers. So, what do you plan on doing now?”

  “I want to rectify things between us.”

  “How are you going to do that?”

  Evan shrugged his shoulders, totally at a loss. Before now he’d never cared enough about a woman to make amends. “Maybe I’ll give her a call in a few days.”

  Alan shook his head. “Listen, I’ve been married for almost five years. That’s not going to do it. Believe me I know. When women know they’ve been wronged they make your life miserable until you make amends.”

  “How do you make amends?”

  Alan chuckled. “That’s the tricky part. Each woman is different as well as each situation. Sometimes a simple phone call will work or a box of chocolates, maybe even an arrangement of flowers. Every woman, every situation is different. You’ve got to figure it out.”