What About Charlie?

by Haley Michelle Howard

  Charlie.

  What had he gotten himself into?

  Chapter 10

  Evan watched Charlie as she sipped her wine. Her hair was swept up. A pearl choker graced the smooth pale skin of her neck. Matching pearl earrings hung daintily from her ears. The backless burgundy sheath she wore hugged her breasts and emphasized her full hips. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds; a smile graced her full ruby colored lips. She was vivacious and alive - the picture of loveliness.

  They were twenty-eight stories above St. Louis dining in a revolving restaurant atop the Millennium Hotel. They’d finished dinner and were now lingering over dessert. Soft jazz music floated in the background. The night was clear and the view magnificent. But Charlie surpassed it. She was breathtaking. From head to toe, inside and out.

  After slowly rotating by the St. Louis Arch, Charlie turned her green eyes to Evan and smiled. “The view is spectacular, Evan. I’m so glad you brought me here.”

  Fingering the stem of his wine glass, he returned her smile. “I had hoped you would like it.”

  “Have you ever been here before?”

  He shook his head. “I had dates who wanted me to bring them here, but I wasn’t inclined to do so.”

  “Why?”

  Looking out the window, he shrugged his shoulders and looked back to Charlie. “It seemed a little too…I don’t know…romantic I guess. Alan had told me that he’d taken his wife, Janine, here. She loved it because of the view, the music in the background, the atmosphere. And I thought I may do well to avoid such a romantic setting with my dates.”

  Her curiosity peaked, Charlie asked, “Why bring me here, Evan? Why am I so different?”

  “Hmm…you’re just different, Charlie. You’re a real person. What I see is what I get. No illusions. No false pretenses. No pretending to care about me…”

  “Evan I…”

  “Charlie, I know you care about me,” he said passionately. “I know when you look at me and smile it’s because you like me, not my bank account. You don’t expect me to be anyone else but the person I am. You’re genuine.” Searching her eyes, his voice dipped an octave. “Most women are interested in only one thing – themselves.”

  His voice was filled with pain and bitterness. Charlie’s heart tightened. “Who hurt you, Evan?” she asked softly searching his eyes. “Who has caused you so much pain? Caused you to be so jaded?”

  Waving off her question, he said, “It’s no big deal, Charlie.”

  Cocking her head to the side, she spoke, her voice filled with passion and determination, “It is, Evan. You’re important to me. I lo…” she caught herself, almost saying love, “like you a lot. You’re my best friend. Whatever pain you feel, I feel also.”

  The hardened expression left his face, replaced by an expression unrecognizable to Charlie. Was it uncertainty? Trepidation?

  Reaching across the table, he grasped her hand. “Thank you, Charlie,” he said, rubbing her palm with his thumb. “That’s why you mean so much to me. You’re not only beautiful physically, Charlie, but, more importantly, you have a beautiful heart.”

  Warmth stole up into her. “I think that’s about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  “It’s true,” he said earnestly. “Let’s enjoy each other’s company this evening, Charlie. I don’t want to spend our time talking about my past. But I promise we’ll talk about it later. Ok?”

  Charlie nodded as he removed his hand from hers. She had a vague feeling that he was emotionally pulling away from her, too. Evan had been hurt, and her heart ached for him. She loved him so much. Would she ever be able to tell him? Would he ever grow to love her? The questions felt heavy in her heart.

  Pushing away the melancholy, Charlie smiled and said in a teasing voice, “You know I have learned many things about you these past few weeks that I never knew before.”

  A smile spread across his lips, reaching his eyes. “Really? Pray tell what secrets have you learned about me?”

  “Hmmm…,” she said playfully. “For one thing, you drink straight from the milk jug.”

  “Shocking!”

  “Yes. I never would have thought. Think about all those germs from your backwash!” Her eyes twinkled. “And you leave your television on 24 hours a day.”

  “I should be drawn and quartered for that…”

  “For wasting all that energy…”

  Evan laughed.

  “You clean out your refrigerator on Sunday mornings.”

  “Mrs. Turner doesn’t clean out refrigerators. That was one of the stipulations when I hired her.”

  “It sounds to me like Mrs. Turner is running the show instead of you running it.” Charlie laughed, recalling the times she’d met his cleaning lady. She was definitely a no nonsense type of person.

  A wide smile crossed Evan’s face. “I think you may be right. Just please don’t let anyone find out that my housekeeper makes me clean out my own refrigerator. Bachelors are supposed to be slobs. You might ruin my reputation!”

  Charlie laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret is with me.”

  Clearly enjoying himself, Evan asked, “So what else have you learned about me?”

  “You wear silk boxers to sleep in…”

  “The cool material feels good against…you know.” His eyes twinkled.

  Charlie blushed. “Yes, I know.”

  “Anything else you’ve learned?”

  “Yes…” she said, smiling.

  “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  The smile disappeared; her eyes suddenly filled with heat. “You’re a wonderful lover, Evan.” Her voice was soft and husky, just loud enough for him to hear.

  A wave of desire jolted through him. He had the sudden urge to lean across the table and kiss her lips, but he stayed seated. “I’ve been told that before, but I never believed it.”

  “It’s true, Evan,” she said earnestly.

  “You don’t have any regrets, Charlie?”

  “No regrets, Evan. I’m so glad it was you. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else.” Her eyes were smoky; her lips begged to be kiss.

  Evan’s throat felt like it was closing. “Do you want to go dancing, Charlie?”

  She shook her head. She needed him to make love to her. “I think I’d rather go back to your place.”

  He nodded slowly. “Me too.”

  ****

  Lying beside Evan, Charlie rested her head on his wide shoulder and gently traced small circles in the soft golden hair on his chest. She loved having him so close to her. She loved hearing his heartbeat thump beneath her ear and see the steady rise and fall of his chest. She felt so close to him as if they were one. She felt safe and, yes, loved, though he never uttered the words.

  Evan showed his feelings for her in the way he kissed her lips, in the way he caressed her skin with his fingers, the way he looked at her when he made love to her.

  Charlie smiled, thinking about how they couldn’t get back to his place fast enough…

  As soon as the front door closed they were groping each other, removing their clothes, their shoes, not caring where they landed. He kissed her mouth, her neck, and then finally settled on her breasts, caressing them, suckling them with his mouth.

  Charlie, unable to control herself, took the hard length of his manhood in her grasp and slowly began to run her fingers up and down the warm, smooth skin. As she held him and caressed him, she could feel him swell even more in her grasp, becoming even harder.

  Groaning with excitement, Evan then moved his hand to the smooth skin between her legs, his fingers finding their way into the moist folds between her legs, rubbing her.

  “Evan…” she said breathlessly. She felt like she was soaring.

  “Charlie, I love that you’re shaved down there,” he said in a rasping voice. “I love the feel of your soft skin. It turns me on so much.”

  “Mmmm…that feels so gooood…Oh,” she gasped as he inserted his finger, moving it slowly back and forth, int
o the warm moistness inside her. “Evan, I need you inside of me. I need you…”

  Picking her up, he carried her the short distance to his bedroom, gently placing her in the center of his king size cherry sleigh bed. The comforter had been turned back exposing cool and silky white satin sheets. The only illumination in the room came from the TV in the entertainment armoire in the bedroom.

  Placing himself between her thighs, he entered her in one quick, smooth motion. He began moving back and forth with an urgency he’d never felt before. He had to have her. He needed to spill his seed inside her.

  Charlie moved beneath him, meeting his thrusts with her hips. She felt the urgency, too. She needed him, too. Charlie felt heat course through her body. She brought her hand up to his face and lightly caressed his cheeks with her fingertips, marveling at how handsome he was, his green eyes changing in intensity of color with the flickering of the television. Desire so intense that she lost all thought except of Evan, of how he was making love to her, how he needed her as much as she needed him. A tingling sensation snaked through her body from the top of her head, to her fingertips down to her toes.

  She then screamed, “Evan…!” as wave after wave of convulsions began to rack her body.

  Evan began to move faster, his rhythm meeting hers. Suddenly he groaned, his seed spilling inside her.

  Smiling at the thought of their love making, Charlie tilted her head and lightly kissed Evan’s shoulder. That she loved him there was no doubt.

  She never knew love could be so gloriously wonderful or so horribly scary. It was a mixture of emotion that she’d never felt before, never thought could coexist. One minute she felt secure, feeling like she’d done the right thing by furthering her relationship with him. The next minute she was worried sick that perhaps she shouldn’t have given in to her feelings. She knew beyond a doubt that Evan had feelings for her, but how deep they were she didn’t know. Would he ever grow to love her? That question haunted her.

  If it didn’t work out between them there was no way they could go back to their old platonic relationship. Her broken heart would never allow that. Where was all this headed? How would it end? Or would it ever end?

  “Charlie, what’s wrong?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re frowning.”

  “Was I?” she asked with a breathless laugh. She could never tell Evan how she felt. Never. She didn’t want him to think she doubted him.

  Pulling her closer to him, he placed a light kiss atop her head. “Yes. I don’t like to see you frowning.”

  Her worries momentarily forgotten, Charlie smiled. “The frown is gone now.”

  “I’ve had a great evening, Charlie. Wonderful dinner, beautiful view and atmosphere. But the best part was the company. Nothing could eclipse that.”

  Warmth for Evan filled Charlie’s heart. He was truly a rare man.

  “You’re right, Evan. The best part was being with you, too. It always is.”

  “Charlie, tonight during dinner you wanted to know why I was so jaded and I put you off. I want to tell you.”

  Looking up at him, eyeing the tenseness around his eyes she said, “You don’t have to tell me, Evan, if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

  “I need to tell you, Charlie. I tend to keep things to myself when I should be sharing them. This is something I need to do.”

  Charlie sat up and crossed her legs Indian style. Evan got up out of the bed, opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a t-shirt, throwing it to Charlie to put on. Then he pulled out a pair of his silk boxers and pulled them up his legs. He plopped down across from her on the bed.

  “You’re not cold, are you?”

  Charlie shook her head. Even though it was spring, the nights were still cool sometimes. “I’m fine, Evan.”

  “Charlie, I’ve never talked very much about my family to you. You know my father is a doctor, so is my younger brother. My father and I are not terribly close like you were with your father, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other any less. We’re just not close.

  “While I was in medical school at Harvard I met Elena. During that period in my life, my father was footing the bills. I had a really nice car, a fashionable apartment. I didn’t have to work to eat like many of my fellow classmates. I guess you could say I was one of those spoiled rich kids.

  “That all changed when I decided to go to St. Louis for my residency. It didn’t matter to my father that there are excellent teaching hospitals here. He wanted me to do my residency back east, but I didn’t want to. I had decided that long before I even graduated from medical school. To make a long story short, he cut me off financially.”

  “That’s awful, Evan.”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Actually, that was the best thing that could have happened. It turned out that Elena was ready to move with me to St. Louis but when she found out that the money was gone and we were going to be living off love for a while, well, that was another matter. She wanted no part of it. At one time I thought she was the one, but that all quickly changed. Since then, I’ve avoided any type of serious relationship. Just too much, you know what I mean? What topped it all off, she started seeing a good friend of mine right after we broke up. Apparently they’d been seeing each other for some time without my knowledge. At that point, I was too numb to be angry and so very relieved that I’d gotten rid of her. I never did tell my father how much of a favor he did for me.”

  “Why?”

  “I guess I didn’t want him to know what a failure I’d been with the relationship. I’m supposed to succeed at everything I do.”

  Charlie’s heart ached for Evan. “Relationships are very difficult to cultivate. It takes both sides. You can’t control what the other person does. All you can do is do your best and hope they do too.”

  “I know, Charlie, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

  The tone in Evan’s voice filled Charlie with trepidation. “But you’ve moved beyond that.”

  “Have I really, Charlie?” he asked in a self-mocking tone.

  Charlie searched Evan’s eyes, seeing pain and fear lingering in the green depths for the first time since she’d known him.

  “You’re the only person who can answer that. I can’t look into your heart and know your feelings. I can’t read your mind.” When he didn’t reply, she asked, “Do you think you can ever get beyond Elena? Do you think you can ever love again?”

  Charlie hadn’t wanted to ask those questions but she needed to hear the answers because her own future, their future rested on what he said.

  Evan looked away from her, hating himself for his weakness. He was the master of his own destiny; he was a decisive man. Yet, he couldn’t answer such seemingly simple questions, at least not in the way Charlie wanted them answered.

  “I don’t know, Charlie.”

  Looking away from him, she blinked her eyes, trying to control the rush of emotion – hurt, disappointment, anger – running through her. Well, what did she expect? Declarations of undying love? Declarations that she’d turned his life around and made him not afraid to love again?

  Keeping her eyes glued to the flickering television, though not seeing anything, she forced out, “What about us? Is this another one of your affairs?”

  “Is that what you think, Charlie?” he asked harshly.

  She whipped her head around and met his angry eyes, her own eyes flashing daggers. “What do you expect me to think? You admitted that you didn’t know if you could ever fall in love with a woman. Where does that leave us, Evan?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Charlie jumped up from the bed, staring down at him. She knew she should keep her mouth shut, but what she wanted to say needed to be said. The words seem to bubble forth from her mouth. “Jesus, Evan, what do you know? I need to know what you expect from this relationship.”

  “What do you expect, Charlie?”

  “I expect an exploration of our feelings. I expect the consideration o
f a long-term relationship that might end in marriage.”

  Evan stood, suddenly feeling very shaky, like everything was tumbling out of control. He ran a hand through his hair. “At the onset of this nothing was ever said about marriage.”

  Charlie sighed. “I know, Evan. And I don’t expect after two weeks or a month that you suddenly realize you love me and propose. What I do want is the possibility that what we have may lead to that point.”

  He looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. “I can’t promise you anything, Charlie.”

  “I’m not asking for promises, Evan. I’m just asking you to try. That is if you want to.”

  Running his hand through his hair again, he turned his back towards her and walked to a nearby window, gazing through the Venetian blinds.

  “For what this is worth, I want you to know you mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever dated, including Elena.” He turned around and captured her eyes with his. “You’re special Charlie. Very special. Please understand that I am scared, though I hate to admit it. These feelings that I have for you have me twisted in knots, and I don’t know how to proceed. More accurately, I’m too scared to proceed. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Please give me a chance. Us a chance. I can’t rush into anything, but I will try my best to really work on this relationship. What we have is unique. You can feel it too. I don’t want to lose that.”

  Charlie wanted to run to Evan and throw her arms around him and reassure him, ease his pain, but she remained where she stood. She felt like she needed the physical distance between them to think objectively.