Finding Home: A Club Dark Novel

by Reagan Hollow

  For a few minutes, we contently walk hand in hand. But then I decide to open up a little. “My dad and I used to go hunting and fishing all the time when I was a kid. The cold in the winter was the worst, but I enjoyed it anyway because it meant spending some alone time with him.” A smile lights up my face and it makes me wonder why I haven’t spent more time talking about and remembering the good times I had with my parents’. “My mom was never big on being outdoors, but she’d go fishing with us on the rare occasions that my dad would ask her to. But boy, could she cook…” I trail off, realizing I’ve been rambling on and on and I’m probably boring him to death.

  “Your parents sound great. I’m sorry you lost them.” There’s a strange tone to his voice, almost like sadness. It makes me wonder who he’s lost in his life to cause it.

  “Yes, they were the best,” I say, feeling the tears burn my eyes once again. I truly had the picture perfect life. But that was a long time ago.

  “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your parents?”

  I was afraid he was going to ask that. Inhaling deeply and blowing everything in me back out, I try to gather the courage I need to tell him about the worst day of my life. Cory rubs small circles on my hand before giving it a gentle squeeze. I think it’s his way of giving me strength.

  “We were on vacation. We took a new one each year, always some place different. We had stopped to get gas and refreshments when the gas station was robbed. They first shot my mom and the store clerk, right there in front of me as I watched from the bathroom. If I hadn’t gone in there I would be dead right now too. Not long after, I found my father face down by the pumps.” My heart hurts but at the same time for the first time in my life I feel better confiding in another person. It feels cathartic to get that off my chest.

  “I’m so sorry, Lacey. That must have been traumatic for you.” I clearly hear the pain in his voice, making me wonder yet again what happened in his life, but I won’t push him. When he’s ready to share, he will. And I will be right here ready to listen.

  “It’s okay, it was a long time ago. I miss them every day, but I think I’m finally getting to the point that I can talk about them and remember the happy times with-out the overwhelming pain.” Despite the truth of my confession, even I hear the sorrow in my voice. We stop and Cory pulls me closer to his body, wrapping me up in a warm embrace. Slowly, everything around us disappears. My body melts into his, and I can feel every hard muscle of his body pressed against me. Thankfully, this moment doesn’t feel sexual. It’s comforting and soothing in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time. He’s showing me his tender side, a side of him I’m sure few people have ever seen. The longer I spend with him, the more my feelings for him grow. But what I worry about most is that those feelings will be one-sided. Especially after hearing from two people, who know him well, that he doesn’t really date. And my heart can’t take anymore let downs.

  I pull back and smile up at him, hopeful that he can’t read my thoughts. Luckily, he looks down and gives me a smile in return. “Are you ready to head back inside?” he asks.

  “Sure,” I say, turning around and following him back toward the house.

  Once we get inside I head straight for the bathroom, I’m in desperate need of a shower. My chest feels sticky from the wine, and I’m honestly tired of smelling like a wino. Turning the water on and testing it before stepping inside, I breathe a big sigh of relief at feeling the hot spray against my back. I didn’t realize there was so much tension in my body until I feel it slowly drain from my neck and shoulders.

  I have my back facing the shower door, and I don’t notice Cory walk in the bathroom until I feel his heat at my back. My heart literally stops beating, until I feel his hands glide across my hips and I relax into him. I rest the back of my head against his chest, watching as the water cascades around us. Slowly, he trails his hands around the front of my stomach, then he guides them up my ribs at a slow, torturous pace.

  Just as his hands reach my breast, his lips graze across the side of my neck, causing a delicious shiver to trail from the top of my head all the way to the tips of my toes and a breathy moan to escape my lips. “Cory,” I whimper.

  “Shh,” he says gently, giving my breast a soft squeeze. Keeping a firm hold on me, he spins me around and our bare chests collide. Looking up into his face, I see a need in his eyes so strong that it ignites my body. It feels like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and my body is going to burst into flames.

  Suddenly, his fists are in my hair as he backs me against the wall. All of my cares and all the worries I’ve had are all but forgotten as he brings his mouth down on mine. The kiss starts softly, just a brief touch of our lips, a few pecks before it quickly gains in intensity as his lips part mine, his tongue sliding in and out of my mouth. My heart rate picks up as both of his hands bury into the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as his fists tighten just a little more.

  He pulls back slightly, tracing his tongue along the inside of my lip, causing my core to clench. His hands are still locked in my hair and he tugs on them causing my head to fall back, my neck now exposed to him. He trails his tongue down the side of my neck and then back up before gently taking my earlobe between his teeth. An even louder moan escapes my throat and I’m visibly squirming in place, trying to create some kind of friction to give me even a small amount of relief.

  Letting go of the grip he has on my hair, he slowly trails his hands down my neck and over my shoulders, until he’s grazing the sides of my breasts. After giving my nipples a brief flick, he resumes his descent down my body until he reaches my ass where he quickly gives it a playful squeeze while lowering himself to his knees. He leaves a path of chills as his tongue glides across my skin, following the same path his hands had taken down my body. His mouth grazes across my breast, my nipples tighten, and my body heats up with anticipation. My nipples grow painfully hard as he takes one into his mouth, sliding his tongue in circles around the tip before he tugs it between his teeth, sending shockwaves straight to my pussy.

  “Ahh…” I cry out, my whole body shaking with need. “Cory, please?” I’m practically begging.

  “Shh…I’m going to take care of you, baby,” he says, trailing his tongue toward my belly. He plants gentle kisses at the curves of my hips, his lips feather soft, giving me tingles in places I’ve never felt before. And then I feel his tongue again, right against my inner thigh as he encourages my legs to spread. He’s teasing me, and he knows it.

  My entire body quivers, anticipating his next move. He grips the back of my thighs and pulls one of my legs up to rest on his shoulder while I balance on the other. I look down into his face and when his eyes meet mine the entire world fades to black. There’s a fire in his eyes that, if I’m being honest, scares the shit out of me. Nobody has ever looked at me the way he is right now— like I’m the only woman in the world. That look threatens to consume me.

  Dropping his gaze as he lowers his head, his hot breath blows across my already wet folds, effectively silencing my inner turmoil. His tongue run circles teasingly around my swollen clit as he slides a thick finger inside of me, pushing in and pulling out at an agonizingly slow rate. My fingers run through his hair and down his back, pulling, gripping and clawing at anything in my reach.

  I’ve never felt this kind of torturous pleasure before; I’m almost on the brink of begging again when his tongue finally applies pressure at just the right spot. I dig my hands back into his hair, pulling his head closer, needing more, just then he adds a second finger stretching and filling me.

  My walls start to tighten around his fingers as his pace picks up. Pulling out and slamming all the way back in, his tongue continues the assault on my clit as he licks, flicks, and swirls it, keeping pace with what his fingers are doing. I’m overwhelmed with sensations, and the pressure in my belly is building. With just one more pump of his fingers, my walls clench and pulsate. I’m thrown over the edge, my head slamming back as my
orgasm takes me by surprise. My hands tighten in his hair, and I let out a long, almost strangled moan as my release takes ahold of me.

  As I’m coming back down, my inner walls still constricting, he gently removes his fingers but continues to place light kisses around my clit, eliciting tiny little after-shocks and delicious spasms. He carefully sets my leg down on the tile floor before standing up and crashing his lips against mine, quickly slipping his tongue inside of my mouth. I can taste the saltiness of myself on him which only fuels the fires of the desire I have for this man. My emotions are becoming dangerous.

  With effort, Cory pulls his lips from mine and reaches for the washrag. I still see the heat in his eyes, but he makes no other move to do anything about it. He only lathers the washrag with soap and proceeds to run the cloth down my arms. His movements are non-sensual, almost clinical. I feel the same disconnection between us I did after our bike ride, and I don’t understand why.

  As he finishes with me, he then washes himself. I stand there and watch as he steps out of the shower, grabs a towel, and walks out. I’m so confused and hurt right now. He was so caring and gentle with me just a few moments ago, and now he leaves without a single word.

  Chapter 11

  I take more time than needed finishing my shower. I stand there under what’s left of the hot water and slowly wash my hair needing the extra time to just process what just happened. The man can do some amazing things with his tongue, but was that all this was? Just sexual? I refuse to believe that, and besides, it was one-sided. If it had been purely sexual for him then wouldn’t he have stayed long enough for me to reciprocate or made a move to have sex? So what caused him to pull away?

  Once the water loses all its heat, I decide it’s time to get out; I can’t just hide in the shower for the rest of my life. Grabbing an extra towel, I dry myself off and then wrap the towel around myself and walk into the bedroom. What I find when I return, causes me to stop in my tracks. Cory is sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I slowly walk over and sit down beside him. I reach my hand up and place it on his shoulder. When he looks up at me, I notice there are tears in his eyes and my heart breaks for him. I have no idea what’s wrong or what caused him to be so upset, but whatever it is I want to comfort him. Moving my hand from his shoulder and down his back, I gently massage some of the tension starting to form there, hopefully conveying that I’m here for him. I guess it doesn’t hurt to just let him know either.

  “I’m here if you want to talk, and even if you don’t,” I assure him. Clearly, he’s in pain, and he doesn’t really strike me as the type to just wear it on his sleeve.

  He takes in a deep breath and blows it out. “Lacey,” he says with a strangled voice. I wait patiently for him to continue. Content to just sit here next to him in silence until he’s ready. He sighs, but continues, “I feel myself falling for you,” is all that he says.

  Okay, I’ve felt the same way, but it doesn’t explain all the emotions or the tears. “I feel the same way, Cory, and that scares me,” I explain, being completely honest.

  He gives me a strange look. “You shouldn’t; I’m not a good man.” I know he has a darker side to him—I've felt it, but he’s always been great to me.

  “Why would you even say that? Did you forget that I was a stranger to you, yet you took me in when I wasn’t your responsibility?” He stands, anger radiating off of him, and I watch as he paces back and forth.

  “You don’t understand, Lacey. I’ve done something horrible. I don’t deserve love from anyone, especially someone like you.” He drops back down on the bed looking defeated.

  “Explain it to me then,” I say in a soft, reassuring voice hoping it’ll get him to open up.

  “I have no choice. You’ve gone through enough, and don’t need to be falling for the wrong guy again.” For some reason, I can just feel that this is bad, but I keep an open mind as I wait for him to explain.

  “It was my junior year of college. I was going through that phase where I needed in every frat party, drinking and partying with the best of them. I still made time for my studies, but school wasn’t really front and center at that point. I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, and my parents were expecting me to be molded into their image. I wanted to break that mold and become my own person.” I hear the bitterness in his voice, and it’s so unlike how he spoke about his parents before.

  “They were so disappointed my freshmen year when they saw that I was going down a different path than them. They eventually got over it, but that was also the year I met Lanna.” The moment he says her name I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I’m not sure if it’s the mention of another girl or if it’s where I think this story is headed.

  “We had a few courses together, and I started out hating her. She was prim and proper, one look at her you just knew she was gonna be the teacher’s pet. Well, Math was never my strong suit. I ended up needing a tutor, and you can probably guess who that turned out to be.” I don’t think he expects me to answer, so I just sit there absorbing everything. “Anyway, she grew on me over time. Seemed we both had something in common. She was living in the shadows of her parents, only she didn’t have the guts to step out of it like I did.” There is sadness and regret in his voice and it breaks my heart for him.

  “Our relationship started to grow around the same time my wild streak kicked in. It never really bothered her. She usually joined me for the parties, like it was her way of rebelling against her parents even though they didn’t know anything about it. Life was great, and I had plans to marry her, she just didn’t know it yet….” he breaks off. There is a devastation in his voice, and it brings tears to my eyes. I just know this story isn’t going to end well.

  “We were at a bonfire on the beach one night, it was maybe twenty minutes from the dorms. Everyone was having a good time drinking and hanging out. But Lanna was getting restless, saying she had an exam that she needed to get back and study for. She offered to call a cab, knowing I had been drinking. But I insisted I would take her home. I felt fine, I didn’t think I had that much to drink. I thought I was perfectly fine to drive. But I was wrong.” He clears his throat and takes a deep breath before he continues, “Out of nowhere, I was blinded by a pair of headlights coming straight at us, at least that’s what I had thought. I gripped the steering wheel as hard as I could and swerved in the opposite direction hoping I could dodge the other car, but I ended up slamming into a guardrail dangling us over a bridge.”

  I sniffle and look up at him. There are tears streaming down his face. It takes everything in me not to grab hold of him and hug him, but I know he needs to finish the story. Instead, I continue to rub his back, offering the only comfort I have to give him at the moment. I wait patiently to hear the rest of his story. “You see, there was no car coming at us, at least not directly. I was just too drunk to see that. And Lanna? My sweet Lanna wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, so when we hit the guardrail and started going over, she was thrown through the windshield. Me, I walked away without one fucking scratch.”

  The blame and self-loathing in his voice tears me apart. “I’ll never forget getting out of that car to see her unconscious body sprawled across the ground. She was alive but just barely. Someone must have seen the car going over and I was very lucky to make it out beforehand. Only a few brief moments had passed before I could hear the sound of sirens blaring, but in those brief minutes my entire world stopped.”

  The tears fall harder now from both of our eyes, and I can tell it’s taking all of his strength just to keep going. “I was completely helpless as the paramedics worked on her the entire way to the hospital. Once we got there the doctors rushed her off, and I was left there in the waiting room for hours just praying that she was alive.” A strangled sob escapes his throat, and it shatters me. I wrap my arms around his body and bring him closer to me, trying to bring him even a little bit of comfort.

  “It felt like days before anyone came out to tell us what was going on. I had called
both of our parents while I waited. Her parents took the first available flight but it still took them hours to arrive. But once they did, I was ordered away.” He pauses and pulls in a slow, ragged breath. “She ended up paralyzed from the waist down, multiple fractures to her skull, three broken ribs, and that’s only the beginning. She spent two months in a medically-induced coma before they were able to safely wake her and move her to a rehabilitation facility. Somehow, my parents’ were able to keep me out of jail, but her parents wouldn’t let me anywhere near her. I didn’t deserve to be let off the hook, and I don’t blame her parents one bit for keeping her away from me. I did that to her, I ruined her life. I could have killed her. I spiraled…lashing out at everyone around me, doing reckless stupid shit just trying to ease the torment I felt. It took me years to reign in my anger, but it’s still there. It’s a constant battle just to keep it under control.” He falls silent again.

  I honestly don’t know what to say or how to comfort him. The agony etched on his face tugs on my heartstrings. “Say something,” he says, a mix between anger and hesitation in his voice, like he’s waiting for me to rebuke him or walk away.

  “I’m so sorry, Cory. I can’t imagine how that must’ve been. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. People make mistakes. Yes, that was a tragic mistake, but the man I’ve gotten to know wouldn’t make that mistake again.” I feel awful for the family, but I understand. He was young and dumb and made a stupid decision that I’m sure eats at him daily. I slide my hand across his cheek wiping a few of his tears away. “Cory, you made a mistake a long time ago. You aren’t that reckless person anymore. I’m sorry this happened to you, but you have to let it go. You can’t keep beating yourself up over it.” I’m trying to be as calm and soothing as I can be, but I can see the doubt on his face. He doesn’t want to believe that he’s different now, that he’s a good man.