Forget Me Not (The Heart's Spring)

by Amber Stokes

  “Mebbe I can come again sometime?” He directed his question to Elizabeth.

  Both men looked to her, and after a moment she glanced up and met his gaze. “Maybe.”

  There was no guarantee in her words, but he smiled anyway and took the hope she offered. The lovely butterfly’s wings were folded tightly together for now, but perhaps in time she would open them again and follow him home.

  ***

  Several days had passed since Joe’s visit, and Elizabeth didn’t think she could stay in the boardinghouse a moment longer. She needed fresh air, and as much as she appreciated Myghal’s kindness in letting her stay and providing her with her own cot, which he had probably had to pay extra for, the confining space was making her feel ill. She was ready to get away from the small, dusty room.

  Myghal was working at the mines today, so she splashed some water on her face, brushed and braided her hair, and headed outside. She didn’t really want to walk through the heart of the noisy town, but she didn’t know where else to go. Keeping her head down, she forced herself to take one step and then another. The hem of her dress dragged along in the dirt, but she didn’t care. The whole dress was in need of a good scrubbing. Maybe she should search for a laundress while she was in town.

  But how could she go on like this? Living in a town with nothing but horrible memories?

  That’s not entirely true. Thoughts of Annabelle’s kindness, meeting Joe’s family, and the kiss she shared with David filled her mind. Thinking of any kiss was too painful, though, and with that idea the rest of the happy thoughts flitted away, leaving her heartsick.

  Oh, God, please show me where to go. I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she didn’t bother to rub it away.

  And then he was there. She lifted her gaze to find him watching her, waiting for her in front of her brother’s store, the complete compassion on his face drawing her like a moth to a light. No matter what had happened before, she needed him now.

  As if he knew of her aversion to her brother’s place of business, he left it and walked toward her.

  “Joe.” He couldn’t possibly hear her whisper over the pounding of the stamp mills and the buzz of conversations on the street. Still, he smiled gently and reached out a hand to her. She hesitated for a moment, then placed her hand in his. As she studied his hand, remembering the hands that had saved her from Clear Creek, a sob escaped her lips.

  He led her to his horse that was tied up outside the store, the wood of the structure glowing near-red in the daylight. He lifted her into the saddle, then swung up behind her and guided Copper out of town, in the direction of the canyon and his ranch. When they passed the cemetery, she couldn’t hold back her emotions any longer. Her whole body shook with confusion and grief.

  Joe wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean against him. For a moment, he didn’t speak except to call “whoa” to the horse, reining the creature in along the side of the dirt street. He just held her, letting her cry.

  “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth,” he eventually said. “I never meant to hurt ya or deceive ya.”

  She gazed out across the deep blue sky and the unending rolling hills, covered with nothing but scattered sagebrush and small pines, all made blurry by her tears. The scene was so desolate, but something stirred in her as she felt Joe’s arms tighten comfortingly around her.

  “I want to be here for ya, whatever you need from me. Yer not alone out here.” He touched a hand to her shoulder, causing her to glance back at him. “I’m grateful to that man, Myghal, for giving ya shelter. Between him and me, you won’t be alone.”

  “I know.” Her voice broke.

  He wiped a tear from her cheek. “I was thinkin’ maybe I could take ya to see Lake Tahoe sometime. It’s a bit of a distance, but it would make fer a good place to get away from town for a while. We could ask my brother and his wife to come, too.”

  She paused for a mere breath. “That would be nice.” She met his smile with a small one of her own. The wind sent his sand-colored hair flying toward her, and his Stetson looked like it could be dislodged at any moment. His tender expression and boyish charm were so endearing. “Thank you.” She didn’t know how to explain her gratitude for his understanding. He seemed to know just what she had needed—to get away from watchful eyes and busy streets.

  “Yer welcome. Ya ready to go back?”

  “Yes, I think so.” The reminder of hope was enough.

  ***

  The sun hadn’t yet risen when Elizabeth awoke one morning a week later. Today was the day they would start their short trip to Lake Tahoe. Initial excitement mingled with a bit of uncertainty, but excitement ultimately emerged victorious. She was weary of staying indoors, mending clothes for the other boarders and reading what few books they had. She practically skipped across the room to the makeshift dressing corner, partitioned off from the rest of the room by a faded curtain.

  After getting dressed and packing what little she had back into her bag, she aimed for the open door.

  “Are ye sure ya really want to go?”

  Elizabeth whirled around, a hand to her heart. Myghal sat on the edge of his cot, running a hand through his hair, looking tired and very worn-out. She must have been too consumed with her tasks to notice when he had entered. His light brown eyes met hers, and she felt the uncertainty rise to overtake the excitement she had felt.

  She walked over to the cot and sat down beside him. “Do ya think it’s wrong if I go?” She clasped the sack in her lap and looked down, waiting. Pale rays of light forced their way through the dirt-stained window.

  She felt a gentle hand on her arm and glanced up. Myghal’s jaw worked. “Myghal? What is it?”

  “Ye remind me o’ someone.”

  She hadn’t been expecting that. “I do?”

  “Back in Cornwall, I had me a gal. She was the most beautiful fiery-haired lass you’d ever see. And I thought fer sure we would be married.”

  He stood, running his hand through his hair again as he made his way to the window. He was silent, his expression troubled.

  “What happened to her?” Elizabeth remained on the cot, waiting and watching him.

  “I thought she loved me.”

  His gaze was so solemn, his mouth down-turned like he had just heard some horrible news that would change his life forever. Perhaps he was reliving such a time.

  “Didn’t she?”

  Not taking his eyes from the clouded view out the window, he replied, “I’ll ne’er know. I ne’er got the chance to ask her. But I thought we had an understandin’. And then she married someone else.”

  “Oh, Myghal…”

  “I lived it up fer a while after that, but I only felt worse-off, like I was provin’ that I ne’er deserved her. So when some other Cornish fellas—friends o’ mine—said they was goin’ to America to work the mines in the West, I joined them. Thought I’d start o’er.”

  His gaze finally swung back to her. He appeared so lost, so unsure. Standing, she reached out and touched his arm. He placed his hand over hers. “How could I ’ave been so wrong? I really thought she loved me.”

  She swallowed, then bit her lip. “Perhaps she did. Maybe her parents told her she had to marry this other man, and she felt that she had no choice.”

  A soft smile added to his boyish look. “It doesn’t matter now, though, does it?”

  “But you still love her.”

  “I’ll ne’er forget her. I can’t.”

  “Should we ever forget those we’ve loved? Maybe our paths will never cross with them again, but can’t we still be grateful for the depth they added to our lives?” She shrugged. “Surely God allowed us to love them for a reason. Right?” The last word came out as a plea.

  Myghal embraced her. “Perhaps so.” Stepping back, he added, “But I hate to see David go through what I went through. Do ye still love him?”

  Tears burned her eyes. “He left. Maybe he needed to start over, too.”
/>   “His situation and mine are much different, lass. He loves you, and neither one of you is claimed by another—yet.”

  “But that doesn’t mean we weren’t supposed to go our separate ways.”

  He said nothing, but she desperately wanted him to reply, to contradict her and tell her that David would come back for her.

  A knock on the door broke the moment. “Elizabeth? Are ya ready?”

  “It’s Joe.” She grabbed her sack and walked to the door. Before she opened it, she turned and gave Myghal a tiny smile. “Goodbye.”

  He nodded once in her direction, wordless and unmoving. In the ghostly morning glow she thought she saw a tear catch the light on his freckled cheek.

  Chapter 16

  David had been forgotten, abandoned, all those years ago, so what was he hoping for when he came back home? The train was bringing him closer and closer to the people he had never wanted to see again. He knew it was the right thing to do, but he still felt like that young boy who had turned his back on the family that had turned their backs on him.

  David couldn’t decide if the miles passed slowly or much too fast. He couldn’t tell the familiar apart from the unfamiliar as various landscapes passed by his window. All he knew was that he had made a decision that might have cost him all his dreams for the future. But he could never have planted a healthy future without preparing the land—taking care of the damages of the past.

  The farming life came back to him in a rush: memories of spring planting, hopeful summer afternoons, and the season of harvest. What little boy wouldn’t have enjoyed that life, the carefree Colorado days with fields and rivers, valleys and mountains all around? And Elizabeth, making life fun.

  He shook his head, turning his thoughts to his cabin back in Colorado. He recalled sunrises over gray peaks, the satisfaction of hunting for his own food, the briskness of the fresh air through the aspens, and the cold beauty of a night sky full of stars. The life of a mountain man had suited him just fine. Until Elizabeth…

  The moment he had saved Elizabeth, his life shifted forever.

  Settling back into the cushions of the train seat, he continued to ponder the journey he was making. How was his family? Would they be glad to see him, or upset? Would they feel remorseful, or would they even care that he had come back?

  Elizabeth’s sweet green eyes came to mind again, and he sat forward, the seat creaking in agitation. He wanted so desperately to go back, to find her and kiss her and tell her he would never leave her. But he had boarded the train knowing full well the consequences. There was no turning back.

  The scenery continued to wash over his window, and time blurred like the reds and yellows of the passing trees. Fall was coming. His parents would be getting ready for harvest. Perhaps he could help, if they wanted him to.

  Why should he even consider helping the ones who never bothered to find him?

  He ran a hand through his hair and gripped a handful of strands. Oh, God, I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t even know the past all that well.

  Like those trees holding tight to their once-green leaves, he was going to have to let go soon. He just didn’t know if he could trust that spring would come again if he loosened his hold.

  Chapter 17

  How is it possible to care so much for two men at the same time? Elizabeth leaned forward in the saddle and ran a hand over Mary’s mane as the horse plodded along toward Lake Tahoe. The horse inevitably brought to mind David’s Liberty, which he had sacrificed for her. Had she ever properly thanked him for selling his horse, paying their way to Virginia City and taking such good care of her? Whatever she’d told him certainly hadn’t been enough. Not enough to express her gratitude. Not enough to keep him with her.

  Her heart twinged with an undeniable tug from across the miles, wherever David happened to be, but the distance also pushed her closer to Joe, a man who was helping her heart to heal from the discovery of her brother’s terrible secret.

  “How ya holdin’ up?”

  Elizabeth peered ahead at Joe, who had turned slightly in his saddle, genuine warmth and concern in his eyes.

  “I’m doing fine. You seem to forget that I traveled quite a way by horseback to get to the train station in Cheyenne.” She said it with a smile, hoping the subtle reminder of David wouldn’t cause tension between them.

  “I do recall somethin’ ’bout that.” He winked and turned ahead again.

  Joe led the way on Copper, Elizabeth following behind on Mary, and Naomi and Seth rounding out the party behind her. Comfort blanketed her with the knowledge that Joe’s brother and sister-in-law were coming with them to the lake. She could imagine herself a part of this family, taking trips together and running the ranch in the canyon…

  As they continued on their way, after over a day of travel, the scenery subtly changed. Instead of only sagebrush and endless dusty brown, tall ponderosa pines rose around them and the occasional meadow carpeted the ground they trod. Even though the grass was far from green, any new variation of brown was a welcome relief.

  The rocking motion of the horse’s gait lulled Elizabeth. She pondered the previous night, how they had built a campfire and shared some food and conversation around its flames. It was hard to be lonely surrounded by such kind people, especially with Joe making her laugh with humorous ranch stories. Still, the night out in the wilderness brought to mind nights across the fire from David. Snuggled up in her bedroll, she couldn’t help but think of him. Part of her longed to be on the train with him, returning to Colorado and escaping from the mess she had foolishly rushed into here in the desert.

  But then she had awoken to find Joe frying ham over the fire, his blond hair looking so soft in the sunlight, tousled from sleep. He had met her gaze and smiled at her, a smile so gentle and bright that she thought perhaps he was the reason God allowed her to come to Nevada.

  Shaking her head, she tried to rid herself of such thoughts. Now was not the time to be thinking about something so definite, when her future seemed so far from certain.

  “Look there.” Joe’s voice brought her head up, and she strained to see where he pointed. Shading her eyes from the afternoon sun, she caught a glimpse of a rocky shore and a blue more vivid than the Colorado sky.

  “Is that the lake?” Her voice quivered with an excitement she couldn’t contain. “Why, it’s so blue!”

  Joe laughed. “Wait till ya see it up close. You ain’t ever seen such clear blue water as Lake Tahoe.”

  She could believe it. Her eyes met Joe’s, and she shared a tender smile with him. She could believe in clear water and—perhaps—a clear, beautiful future.

  ***

  “Come on, you’ve gotta see the water up close!” Joe held out his hand and held in his breath, hoping Elizabeth would come with him. He had been eager to have a moment alone with her ever since they had arrived at the lake and set up camp yesterday afternoon. The sun was shining warm upon the water, and Elizabeth’s brown hair took on alternately fiery and golden sheens in the light. She squinted up at him, then turned back for a moment, probably reassuring herself that Seth and Naomi were nearby.

  He waited. A slow smile came over her face. She tilted her head back, letting the sunlight pour over her. “You’re right,” she said. “On such a glorious day as this, we have to enjoy the beauty of nature.” Her smile turned mischievous as she met his gaze. “But only if you promise not to push me in.”

  Laughter rumbled forth, a sweet release of nerves. “I promise, I won’t push ya in.”

  His hand closed gently but firmly over hers, and he felt then that a different sort of bond had been formed between them, deeper than friendship. Walking hand in hand from the camp, they headed toward the shore. The rocks here were large and round, perfect for climbing and finding a seat from which to look out over the lake.

  Elizabeth slipped once, and he instinctively grasped her waist, steadying her. Her summer-green eyes met his, and he saw gratitude and warmth there. He felt stronger in tha
t moment than he had ever felt before.

  “What about here?” He gestured to the rock they stood on, close to the water but high enough above it to keep from getting wet.

  She nodded. They sat side by side, gazing at the lake. But the blue couldn’t hold his attention for long, as it was Elizabeth’s green eyes he wanted to swim in. She was so beautiful…

  “Elizabeth?”

  She only barely inclined her head in acknowledgement, continuing to stare at the lake.

  “Do ya like it here?”

  She nodded more enthusiastically. “It’s lovely. I never thought I’d see a lake such as this. Makes me long to see the ocean someday. I can’t imagine how exotic and wide the ocean must be.”

  She hadn’t understood his question, but he chose to ignore that fact for a moment. “Which ocean?”

  Her eyebrows scrunched in thought. “The Pacific.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I’d like to see what it’s like farther west.”

  Trying to bring the conversation back around, he asked, “So ya like the West? Do ya like it here, in Nevada?”

  She glanced over at him. “Yes, I suppose. I like it here, at the lake. Your ranch is very nice, too.”

  Just what he’d been hoping to hear. He smiled wide. “And me, Elizabeth? Do ya mind puttin’ up with the likes of me?”

  Surprise flickered in her gaze, which was now riveted on him. “Well, no. No, I don’t mind. You’ve been very kind to me.” A little smile appeared, as if she was unsure whether a smile was warranted then.

  Silence took over briefly while Joe debated within himself what he should do. Surely this sweet girl was a gift he could never deserve. But he desired to make her his own, to cherish and love her forever. Elizabeth was all that he had ever wanted in a wife.

  “Elizabeth…” Turning fully toward her, he knelt beside her on the wide rock and pulled the ring out of his pocket. “Might ya be willin’…? That is, might ya consider…? Will ya marry me?”