The two pillars of heat stand unspoken for several seconds more, which feels like an agonizing eternity to me.
“Just tell me! Is it my family?” My voice cracks, “did he find them?”
I’m suffering in their silence.
“No,” Justice says in a calm tone. “It’s worse, A.J found the Stalker in your apartment. He fought him off, but it’s not safe for you there.”
I breathe a crackled sigh of relief. My family is safe, and that’s all that matters. I don’t care how much danger I’m in, just as long as they are out of harm's way I can sleep tonight. Hopefully.
Justice puts a heated arm around me. “Let’s get the others, it’s time to go,” and leads me back towards Tattoo. I turn to see if A.J. is following, but he’s gone. Like poof, into the night.
Seraphs are such furtive creatures.
By the time we get back to the others Melenia and Derrin have left, Aayden and Jayden are preoccupied with their bed candy, and Jocelyn is tempting an unsuspecting soul, who is totally cute, by the way.
Our evening has come apart at the seams.
At least, it was fun while it lasted.
“Liv is staying at The Cliffs tonight,” he tells Jocelyn as he helps me with my coat.
“I heard.” She says, her attention elsewhere.
“Make sure those two don’t cause a ruckus,” he directs.
“Don’t worry, they only have one thing on the brain. See you in the morning Liv,” she smiles, and then goes back to playing with her toy.
As Justice buckles me into the Intimidator, I contemplate telling him how I feel. Even with the Stalker so close and my life dangling on a line, our earlier conversation is still bothering me. I want him to know that he isn’t just bed candy to me. But it doesn’t feel like the right time to talk about it.
His eyes are vigilant and wild. He knows there’s danger and his inescapable need to hunt is burning under his skin. He won’t leave me though. He knows the risk. So he’s fighting what feels natural to him. As much as he detests being compared to a vampire, in a way he’s like one. He has animalistic urges that are hard to control, only he doesn’t kill for blood or sport; he kills to protect.
And in this case killing the Stalker means protecting me.
Pillow Talk
I lay my head on Justice’s lap dressed in the cotton t-shirt and boxers he gave me to sleep in.
He runs is fingers though my straight dark hair, and looks down at me with that transcendent gaze. I can smell his fresh linen scent percolating from the sheets, and if it wouldn’t make me look like one of those crazed girls from the Axe commercials, I would impale my face right into his pillow and suffocate myself with the scent.
I want so much to tell him how I feel, but my insecurities prevent any such words to come out. Every second I spend in his arms is a second deeper I fall in love with him, like it’s perpetual. I could lay here forever and never once miss the ongoing of the outside world.
“We’re pretty big hypocrites,” he says looking down at me.
“What makes you say that?’ I ask contented.
“For two people who don’t do love, we’re sure making liars out of ourselves.” My heart stops dead at his use of the word love.
“Is that what this is?” I ask awry.
“I hope so.”
“Even if it’s wrong?” I whisper.
“Why do you say that?” He’s concerned. His eyes infiltrating mine.
“Because we’re from two completely different worlds.”
“Our worlds aren’t as different as you may think.” He quickly contends.
“Aren’t they?” I stare up at him. “You walk an eternal line, while I walk a temporary one. And sometimes, it feels like there is this incomprehensible space between us, like we’ll never really live on the same earthly plane.”
“Liv,” he shifts me up, so we are sitting face to face, his expression dark. He is silent for several long beats as if contemplating. “You’re right,” he says inhibited, “there is space between us, but it has nothing to do with the line or plane we walk on.”
“Then what does it have to do with, please make me understand.”
His face becomes increasingly pained as his eyes linger on me. Justice has two extremes, comedy and tragedy and his facial expressions live at opposite ends of the spectrum; they’re either incredibly expressive or nonexistent. So I try desperately to read between the lines.
He looks at me like his next words will be defining, and they are. “I’m terrified to love you.”
My mouth drops. “What? Why?” I ask bemused. I can’t picture this man terrified of anything. “Is it because you have doubts about the way I feel? Do you think my love is tainted?”
“No it’s not that, I know how you feel.” Suddenly, there is apprehension in his voice. “It’s just for the first time ever,” he struggles for words, “I’m worried that I’m not strong enough, not fast enough, not smart enough to protect you. Daniel says it’s because now I actually have something to lose. And he’s right. Every time I think about you lying on that cold bathroom floor, helpless, dying; I hate myself. I hate myself for not seeing him coming, for letting it get that far, for letting him get that close. And then today....” He presses his lips together, and his eyes begin to smolder blue translucent flames.
Ya, he was pretty pissed about earlier today. He was there within seconds of the attack, robust and vigilant, he whisked me away, cursing under his breath; leaving no chance for police interrogation or an explanation for Nikkee after the fact. That was an unpleasant phone conversation, let me tell you.
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened; you saved me, isn’t that what matters?”
“No, what matters is that you don’t suffer at the hands of a maniac, and if I can’t protect you, what good am I?”
His self-doubt upsets me. “How about the fact you make me blissfully happy?” I say directly. “You once told me you didn’t want me to make the same mistakes you have- not to live in the past- so can I offer you some unsolicited advice in return?”
He stares absently into my face.
“Do I have a choice?” The blaze in his eyes mellows, only leaving tiny sparks dancing in his pupils.
“No.” I reprimand. “Why not try focusing on what’s positive in your life? Like the Purple Heart, you hide under that detached exterior. You dwell on everything you do wrong instead of recognizing what you do right. You’ve saved me in more ways than one,” I stress. “Please don’t let your fears stop you from saving yourself.”
He scans my face once over. “You’re my only salvation.”
“I don’t feel like much of a salvation” I tell him flat out.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I have my own reservations about being with you too.”
“Reservations?”
“Like how I feel selfish for loving you.”
The skin around his eye’s wrinkles and tenses. “I’ve never heard of love being selfish.”
“Isn’t it when the end result is pain? All I hear is the echo of Cross’ words. I have an expiration date, and you’ll live forever.” My voice strains from the thought. “I know how A.J feels without Persephone, what Cross feels for his dying wife, their pain is embedded in them so deep it almost feels bottomless. And to even think I could cause you a fraction of that makes me crazed with guilt.”
He concentrates on my stare.
“You shouldn’t feel bad about that at all,” he says as if he’s trying to simplify all our problems. “I don’t let that little detail dampen my happiness. Even if you are a short chapter in my life, I would rather have loved you for a day then never to have loved you at all.”
How can he be so tolerant of possible suffering I wonder as he gazes at me with such affection, with an almost uncontainable devotion?
“I gave myself to you the moment you touched something inside me, I didn’t know existed.” He leans in and kisses me, a warm soft k
iss that erupts fervor beneath my skin causing my blood to burn. It’s amazing the things he can make me feel with even the simplest touch.
“Don’t worry so much about Cross and A.J.,” he caresses my neck with his lips. “They’ll get over it.” He says impassively.
His lack of emotion concerns me. I feel for Cross and A.J. There doesn’t seem to be any reprieve for them in the foreseeable future.
“Is it going to be that easy for you?” I ask picking on his aloofness.
He snaps his head up with a sexy half smile. “Only after a millennium or two.”
I’m not completely comfortable with his passive attitude, and I have a feeling this subject is sorer than he is letting on, but I’m not going to push the issue, at least not tonight.
If he is willing to take the leap, then so am I. Consequences and all. Like the saying goes, better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all…? I’m not so sure.
He runs his hand over my face that is divided by my hair pulling me out of my thoughts; he eyes me with that transcendent look like he can see all my pasts and my all futures. I love that look; it’s undying to me.
“The thought of immortality never appealed to me, until now,” I tell him utterly love struck. “It’s too bad you can’t just bite me and make me like you.”
“I could always petition the stars,” he says- whatever that means.
Justice wraps his arms around my waist and effortlessly twists me down onto the cloudy comforter; he kisses my neck with increasing pressure until he makes his way up to my mouth. I run my fingers through his thick hair. Even the stands are soft like cashmere.
He makes me tingle from the ends of my eyelashes to the tips of my pedicured toes. I indulge in the muffled moans of his breath as the friction between us quickly becomes feverish. As physically powerful as he is, he touches me with the utmost of ease. Every finger caress feels like it is done with purposeful precision, as if my body is an old painting being tenderly restored.
He pushes himself onto his knees and pulls off his white fitted shirt. As the moonlight shines through the windows, its soft glow sketches every line of his body, from the cuts in his hips to the tone in his chest. Across his heart are the words ‘Death before Dishonor’ tattooed in the same gothic letters as his arm. His beauty is so immaculate it almost brings me to tears like a tragic Italian opera. My heart pulses for him, along with other parts of my body. I’ll admit I feel a little unsettled; I am still so green to this course of nature. Up until now, the only thing that ever gave me physical pleasure was a piece of chocolate.
Justice doesn’t seem to notice. He knows just how to ease me. He smiles, and with that, an intense feeling of serenity fills the room, like it is heavenly or something. He lies back down and I run my fingers along his bare back, accepting kisses that are deeper than an ocean I don’t think twice about drowning in. He pulls me tightly into him; we are so close there’s only one way left to get closer.
The eagerness and passion that fuels his body radiates a heat wave between us, and I begin to sweat from his fever. I keep my lips firmly planted against his trying to ignore the climbing temperature. As we rasp and touch and sheath and breathe, I can no longer overlook the inferno. My shirt suddenly feels like someone lit it on fire. The cotton singes my chest as the layers of epidermis peel away from the grating of our bodies.
“Justice!” I cry out in excruciating pain trying to push him off of me.
“What!” He looks down disoriented. Unaware of what’s happened.
“Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!” Is all I can muster. I can’t breathe as the tears flood down my face from the agony. His expression reveals the severity of my wounds, it’s twisted with horror.
“Daniel!” Justice bellows frantically as he puts cool palms over my scorched upper body. Within seconds, four sets of piercing eyes are looking down upon me. Daniel pushes Justice away and bares the same face when he sees the damage.
“Holy crap!” Aayden says disbelieved. “What happened to her?”
A.J doesn’t have to say a word; I can see he is thinking the same thing.
“Shhh, Liv,” Daniel says in his placid voice. “We’re going to fix it.”
Nothing ever seems to rattle Daniel, even a charred Empath. Justice doesn’t leave my side; he just strokes my quivering hand with terror-stricken eyes.
I wish whatever Daniel is going to do; he does it fast; I can’t bear the pain much longer. I think I’m about to go into shock as I tremble harder by the second.
He places his hands over my mutilated chest and stares deeply into my face with his light lit amber eyes. They seem to calm me. Before I know it the pain is gone, and I can draw in a long deep relieved breath.
“All better,” Daniel says with his inviting smile.
There is a dark silence between the Seraphs, and I can only imagine the conversation that is going on in their heads.
It is painfully obvious what Justice, and I were involved in only minutes earlier. My half-naked body is exposed to the three visitors. Justice quickly covers me with the comforter, flicking it with his wrist, the same way he covered his sports bike. I wonder if my embarrassment is that blatant on my face, or if he just doesn’t want his brethren getting a bird’s eye view of me in my unmentionables.
“What happened?” A.J asks after the room has cooled.
Daniel shakes his head befuddled, “I have no idea; we’ve all been with humans before, I’ve never seen anything like this happen.”
I don’t exactly like where this conversation is headed.
“Look, I’m fine,” I say patting my chest, I don’t want to dwell on the situation, especially after Justice just got finished telling me how terrified he is to love me. This little episode can’t be healthy for our blossoming relationship.
“Liv! You’re not fine!” Justice demands. “I just turned you into a charcoaled s’more!”
He is clearly upset. This night has turned into a total catastrophe. I wonder if I’m destined for indefinite plight.
Daniel puts one hand on Justice’s shoulder. He speaks no words aloud. He just gives him a reassuring look before he exits the room. Justice’s disturbed face tells us, he is on the verge of a meltdown.
“That sucks bro,” Aayden slaps Justice on the back, “you give new meaning to the term burning love.”
A.J. just rolls his eyes, “ignore the fledging,” he says and closes the door.
I stare at the deranged Seraph in front of me. We’re alone, and I’m not sure what to say.
“Jus?” I finally muster in a small voice.
He stares at me with no words. He walks quickly into his bathroom and slams the door. It feels like he just shut me out of his life.
I get up and knock cautiously on the door. “Justice, please,” I beg. “Don’t get so worked up over this, it was just an accident.”
There’s no answer. I wait patiently for him to respond. I scratch my finger nail against the white paint and press my cheek against the wood.
“Justice, please, it’s really not that big a deal.”
He opens the door enraged. “It’s not that big a deal?” He snaps. “Liv, I just gave you third-degree burns all over your body! If Daniel hadn’t been home you would be in the hospital getting a skin graph!” His eyes start to smolder.
I hate it when they do that.
“But I’m not, and it wasn’t all over my body,” I correct him, “I’m perfectly fine, no harm no foul.”
He stares at me pungently. “You’re wrong. Red card.” He says acerbically.
He storms passed me and lies on his bed. He lets out a frustrated sigh as he looks up at the ceiling. He definitely needs a minute.
I want so desperately to climb into his arms. They look so enticing. They feel even better. Even if they can burn me to a crisp I don’t care. I still want them around me. I would burn forever just as long as he is touching me.
I stand there wrapped in his sheets unsure what to do.
He looks over at
me with guilt stricken eyes. He pats the space next to him for me to come near. I walk slowly over to the bed even though I want to sprint. I climb into his arms and into the exact place I want to be.
“I’m sorry,” he presses his lips firmly against my head.
“It’s ok,” I grip him tightly. “We’ll just have to keep a fire extinguisher next to the bed from now on.”
Reconnaissance
I sit at the kitchen table eating the pork roll and cheese sandwich that was conjured for me for breakfast. Justice sits next to me sipping on coffee, while Daniel sits across from us reading the paper. It’s quiet. Eerily quiet. Only the sound of slurps and turning newspaper pages fill the room.
Justice is wearing his poker face, but I’m sure there is an unvoiced conversation going on.
We are waiting for Aayden, Jayden and Derrin to come down and accompany us back to my apartment, so I can get clothes and toiletries for my upcoming stay at The Cliffs. It was decided-not by me- that it is best I stay as far away from anything routine in my life, which means my family, my friends and my apartment. So my temporary address will be The Cliffs until further notice. It’s the one place that is constantly guarded and relatively safe. Even though I feel a little uncomfortable being a houseguest after what happened last night. Our private display turned into a public affair.
Two sets of high heels clamor on the marble floor catching our attention, Aayden and Jayden walk into the kitchen with two girls who could pass for Kardashian sisters. At least I’m the only one wearing the same cloths from last night.
Aayden picks up a set of keys off the counter. “Be back, need to drop the girls off,” he says to Justice as he bounces them in his hand.
“Don’t be long,” Justice says flatly. It’s clear he’s in no mood for the twins to get lost. “We have things to do today,” he glances down at me and then back to him. His dry facial expression doesn’t flinch, but I know he is dealing with some conflicting issues at the moment. Last night was definitely a test to Justice’s sense of self.
All I want is to pack a bag at my apartment as quickly as possible and try not to cause any more tribulations.
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