Beautiful Nightmare

by Stotz, Chrystie Q.

  Beautiful Nightmare

  By Chrystie Q. Stotz

  Preface

  I never thought I could feel so alone.

  Never in my dreams did I think a day like this would ever come. A day where I am packing the last of my belongings and moving to a state that is barely on the map, to a town no one has ever heard of. To leave the beautiful, sunny beaches for the cold winter woods of the north.

  I had a lot less than I thought I did. I guess in my little room, the mass of my belongings appeared much larger than they really were. Everything that I could call my own fit into ten medium sized boxes, taped up, labeled and shipped up north to my new home.

  Home. Would I ever really know what that is again?

  Everything else that belonged in this small vacant space -things that belonged to my parents- is being packed up and sent away where I don’t have to see or deal with it. The only possessions I took from the rest of the house, things that didn’t belong to me, were my father’s favorite ring, my mother’s locket and the book she read at least once a month, her worn favorite copy of ‘A Midsummer Nights Dream’.

  At one time these items could not be found anywhere but with my parents and it is because of that that I can not part with them. They are the only pieces left that I can hold.

  Chapter One

  When I got off the plane, leaving my old life behind with the warm weather in the south, I felt my heart harden and a stray tear drip down my cold cheek. “I will not cry!” I screamed in my head, determined. Through the rush of people getting ready to exit the plane, no one noticed.

  Good.

  I grabbed my backpack from under the seat and stood, waiting to make my way into the awaiting crowd of anxious travelers.

  “Did you enjoy your vacation sweetheart?” the old lady across the isle asked as she backed up, giving me room in the cramped isle

  I gave her a wary smile as I responded, but there was a hint of sadness behind my attempted polite expression that the old lady must have seen. Her enthusiasm faded quickly, the corners of her mouth lowered appearing in a thin line as she nodded once at me. Sympathy simmering in her eyes.

  Finally the string of impatient passengers began to move in front of me. A group of very restless people in the back began to clap and whistle while they pushed at my back in an attempt to force the line faster. I was happier staying on the plane. At least on the plane nothing was real yet. Looking out the window while we were landing was like watching a movie, keeping all the action outside while I was safely inside and untouched. The plane, for me, was like my limbo. It was my midnight, my dawn, my twilight. It was like standing in a door way not knowing what would happen if you look that final step inside or outside the room. The world out there was unknown and I was safer here, trapped in this cramped little cabin of a plane that was too hot, with people that were too grumpy and smelled faintly of something I was too afraid to uncover.

  The sea of people erupting out of the terminal, throwing me around like a pinball being bounced through the machine. Why was everyone here in such a rush? After spinning a couple times, being forced in one direction and than the next, I lost my balance and felt myself falling to the ground. My arms reaching out to catch anything around me to cushion my fall, when just as I braced myself to hit, I felt arms loop around my waist, awkwardly, but keeping me mostly on my feet.

  “Where’s the fire!” he yelled over his shoulder as the crowd passed us by and blew around the corner. “Are you all right?” he asked, as I regained my balance and grabbed my bag that fell on the floor.

  “Yeah… I’m fine. Thanks.” I said, finally looking up to see his face. He was a really good looking guy and around me age, I would guess. He was a good head taller than me with broad shoulders and light brown hair, cut shaggy and hanging in his eyes. And those eyes, a beautiful milk chocolate color that just made you crave some sweets. He had a nice golden tan that said he spent a good amount of time outside this summer. As our eyes met, he stuck out his right hand.

  “Hi! You must be… Trystessa? I would assume…because you are the only one left from the plane. Everyone else took off,” he said gesturing with his hand toward the now empty terminal. “I’m Jayson.” I reached out and took his hand, but his eyes never left my face. I felt my cheeks warm slightly under his gaze.

  “Trystie” I said in response. He finally dropped my hand. “Um…where you waiting for me? I thought…”

  “Yeah, I know. You expected Justin and Kimber to be here. Sorry.” He looked down at his feet, an uncomfortable expression creeping across his face. I looked up and gave his a small heartening smile as he motioned for us to start walking.

  “It’s okay,” I tried to reassure him, even though I was a little peeved about my new guardians not coming to see me off the plane in a new a unspeakably depressing place at a really hard time in my life. But hey, who actually gets what they want out of life? “Not a big deal” I went on. “So why did they send you? What did you do wrong to get sent to pick up the new girl? You lose a bet or owe them money?”

  “Well,” Jayson made a scrunched up face. “Justin and Kimber have been getting things ready, anticipating your arrival for the last week, so naturally they talked about you a bit. They told us that you were landing tonight and that you were around the same age as me and would be going to the same school. They thought it would be nice for you to know someone when you started school Monday.” He stopped abruptly and cleared his throat. Looking down as he continued to navigate through the empty halls, I saw his cheeks get a little red, even in the dim lighting of the closing airport. He gathered himself and peeked over at me to see if I was paying attention. Catching my eyes, he quickly turned back. “So… they thought it might be a good idea for me to come get you from the airport. That way they could finish getting things ready for you and we could get to know each other a little on the way home. It’s about an hour drive from here, but there is always traffic so it will probably be longer. I hope I am not that unbearable.” He seemed to hold his breath in waiting a response.

  “Um… Thanks. I’m sure your not. That unbearable, I mean.” I saw him let out a slow breath and smile, a little smile, then become serious again.

  Just from walking around the airport here and being on the plane, I could immediately tell the people here were different, more uptight. Everything seemed rush, rush, rush. It was like a different world up here. We quickly grabbed my bags from baggage claim and walked to his car. During out brief walk from the doors to the parking lot, I tried to take in my surroundings. It was definitely not what I was used to. For one, it was colder here, not something I am happy about. And two, the atmosphere was different. It felt old, like a place with a lot of history. Nothing in Florida ever made me feel that way. Nothing there seemed mysterious.

  Jayson insisted on carrying my bag and putting it in the car. He at least made me feel welcome. The whole hour and a half ride home -he was right about the traffic- I listened to him talk. He told me all about the school, the people in it, the neighborhood we live in, the “fun” things to do and anything else he could think of. I was actually glad to listen to someone else talk. It helped me keep my mind busy. Helped me relax. I was able to sit back in the big secure white truck Jayson drove and take in all there was around me as we got closer to my new home.

  Home. Is that what this really is? I guess it would be the definition of a home. The place you live, where all your things are. But I knew it wasn’t going to actually feel like home. Just being here already felt nothing like home. But how could I complain? Someone was willing to take me in, and I greatly appreciated the generosity.

  The trucks swift speed began to slow and I suddenly became very aware of our area. I watched as Jayson headed over
toward the very dark exit ramp seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

  Nowhere. Just as I had feared.

  Jayson regarded me in the darkness that surrounded us and coughed in an attempt to stifle his laughter. “It’s not as bad as it looks. Boring maybe, but not bad.”

  I looked at him briefly, then went back to my surroundings, saying nothing. There wasn’t much to really see getting off the exit. It was darkness all around with only a few street lights illuminating the empty streets. Being used to seeing masses of gas stations, fast food chains and stores when exiting off a highway, I guess I just wasn’t prepared to see a small commuter parking lot, a single restaurant in the distance, an open empty field and a church. Damn it all, I was really in the ‘burbs.

  About ten minutes after exiting the highway and driving down some very windy and steep hills shrouded in darkness, we pulled down a very long driveway. The scenery down the drive was really no different than the surroundings up the huge hills to get here, we were enclosed by woods. Very dark and spooky woods. Not my favorite part of my new situation. It added a very creepy ambiance to the mystery of my “to be” place of residence. For a second, we were in total blackness. The only light visible was the dancing glow from Jayson’s radio. Finally the house came into view. It sat at the end of the driveway, at least a thousand feet back from the road. No lights from the house reached the blackness that we left behind us.

  It felt like it took forever until he stopped the truck before a set of massive garage doors and killed the purring engine. The big house loomed in front of me, very intimidating. I dared a nervous glance over at Jayson. He saw me look at him and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t be nervous, it’s going to be fine!”

  Although I didn’t really know Jayson, aside from our trip from the airport, which given how much he could talk gave me a pretty good insight into the life of Jayson, I still knew him better than the people I was going to be living with. I visibly tensed when he reached for his door but, I said nothing. Jayson shut off the truck and just sat there. I’m sure he was waiting for me to get up the nerve to move.

  Suddenly, he picked up his right hand and put it over mine. I felt a strange connection with the almost stranger, like we had been friends forever. Just one friend comforting another. “Trust me, it’s going to be all right. I can go in with you if you’d like.” The look in Jayson’s eyes was sincere. I stared back at him, my hand still under his and just nodded. Apparently that was all the incentive he needed. The next second, he was jumping out of the big truck and getting my bags out of the back, with an expression I didn’t know him well enough to decipher.

  Chapter Two

  Jayson led the way around the shadowed front of the house up to the front door. He stood in front of me, almost as if shielding me, and knocked twice. I heard scrambling behind the door and frantic whispers, and after a couple seconds, the door swung open to reveal a relatively young couple standing on the other side, hand in hand. I didn’t actually realize they would be so young. They both knew my mom and were friends of the family, even though they were about ten years apart in age. They stayed pretty close growing up, so I was told, and even after my mom had moved away they kept in contact.

  “Hi Justin, Kimber!” Jayson half yelled as he pushed his way past them forcing their hands apart, and brought in my bags. I stood on the porch, frozen with nervousness. Justin and Kimber looked at each other as if lost for words, and then looked at me.

  Jayson was back before either of us had the chance to say anything. He stood behind my new guardians with that same encouraging expression, waiting for me to come in. Finally, Justin broke our silence.

  “Trystessa, we’re so glad you made it safely. I could only assume that means Jayson’s driving has improved.” I heard Jayson grunt behind them, but Justin continued on, unfazed. “How was your flight? Sorry we weren’t there when you landed. We thought it would be nice for you to meet someone before you started school Monday. And we had a few things to finish up here before you came.” I noticed Kimber give him a quick elbow to the side and they moved together to open some space for me to come in.

  Finally, standing in the house, the strange tension I felt was broken and for the first time I really took in the two new people I would from now on be living with. They were definitely young. Probably in their early thirties. Justin was of medium height and build wearing khaki pants and a collared green shirt. He had short sandy colored hair cut very neat and serious brown eyes. He had a thoughtful and honest face. Kimber was about my height, 5’5, but just a little heavier than my hundred fifteen pounds. She wore a pair of low cut jeans and a flowered shirt that buttoned down the front with long straight blonde hair that fell down to the middle of her back and she had incredibly bright blue eyes. They looked good as a couple and they looked comfortable to live with. Suddenly, I felt a little more relaxed as I walked past them into the living room. Jayson followed close behind me, his right hand behind my back guiding me in. He leaned down toward my ear and whispered, “Are you okay now? Would you like me to go?”

  I turned around to look at him as he straightened. I hadn’t completely understood how tall he really was until I was right under him needing to look up.

  “I think I will be okay. Thank you for the ride… and for coming in with me. I will see you Monday?” By his expression, he looked a little hurt. He obviously didn’t want to go yet and only asked because he knew he should. I kind of didn’t want him to go yet but somehow it didn’t seem fair of me to ask him to stay my first five minutes in the door. Plus, I had a feeling I was going to see a lot of Jayson, whether I really wanted to or not. But right now, it felt good to have someone I could call a friend here.

  “Okay,” Jayson said quickly with understanding in his chocolate eyes. “Well, I know you will be settling in tomorrow but… if you are bored or would like some help, just give me a call. I live right down the street. We passed my house on the way up the hill. So…”

  “Thanks Jayson, but you really don’t have to do this.”

  “No, no, I would like to help. If you would like me to, that is.

  “If I find I absolutely need the help, I’ll call to bother you. Thanks.”

  “Make sure you do. I’ll see you later.” He reached out and shook my hand again and then turned to go out the door. “Bye Justin. Bye Kimber. See you guys soon.” And he was gone. For a second after he left, I was sorry I asked him to go, quickly feeling the sense of loneliness sweep over me.

  Justin and Kimber came to sit by me in the large and open living room. It was kind of spooky; there were so many windows and glass doors with no shades. You saw straight into the forest, the pitch black night. I quickly drew my attention away from the thought and focused on the two new people in my life.

  “Jayson is a nice kid, isn’t he?” Kimber asked. “He goes to your school and he lives really close. We are friends with his parents and we thought it would be nice to be close with someone we spend a good deal of time with. On the up side, I think he likes you. Not a bad way to start in a new place.” She gave me a little wink.

  “Yeah, he is really nice. Thanks you for sending him. He filled me in on all the school stuff already.” Suddenly I got a twisting pain in my stomach, a reminder of the events that so recently took place were catching up with me. My hands folded into my lap and my eyes dropped to stare at my knees. I felt my throat tighten and burn. A pressure started to swim behind my eyes. I will NOT cry! I had to keep reminding myself crying was a waste of time and it made me feel weak. There is nothing that crying can do to make this any better. I needed to move on with my life, putting everything in the past behind me. It’s what they would want. I took a deep breathe and returned my gaze to Justin and Kimber, who suddenly looked sad.

  “So, can you guys show me around?” I asked as happily as I could. Their look of pity made me feel like I was drowning.

  “Oh, yeah, sure. Follow us!” Justin said snapping himself out of his trance.

  The whole house was a c
omplete blur. But all I really needed to remember was where the bathroom and my bedroom were. Luck was on my side when they finally got to my room.

  “Ok, this is the reason why we had Jayson go get you tonight. We wanted to finish your room. We hope you like it.” Kimber was practically glowing she was so excited. No matter what this room looked like, I was going to be excited for her, for them, because they put so much time into making it for me. “Ready?”

  “Ready,” I said, taking a deep breath.

  The door swung open to a huge room, at least twice the size of my tiny room back home. It was freshly painted a deep purple with white trim around the windows and doors and a bright blue and yellowish green zigzag design scattered right through the middle of the walls, all the way around the room. There was a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall to the left as I entered and a beautiful, very large bed against the far right wall with two matching dressers, two small night stands and a walk-in closet. I stood there looking like a deer in headlights, my mouth hanging open.

  “And here is your bathroom, all to yourself.” My gaze snapped to Kimber, I don’t think she could have smiled any wider. I walked in the direction she pointed and into the bathroom, looking around. I had my own bathroom! A shower and a tub, a very large full length mirror behind the door and a cabinet and sink area all ready stocked with new things for its new occupant. I was speechless.

  “Do you like it?” Kimber asked from the doorway.

  I looked back at her, completely dumb-founded. “How could I not! But…”

  “But…” Kimber egged on.

  “But… it’s too much. Really this wasn’t necessary. I would have been fine on the couch.” I really would have been. They didn’t need to go through all this trouble for me when I was the one putting them out in the first place. I was grateful for a place to live.