Beautiful Nightmare

by Stotz, Chrystie Q.

  For a dreaded first day, it was going by pretty quickly. Thank god, none of the teachers, so far, made me stand up to introduce myself. I don’t think I could handle that. I am pretty positive that I would have stumbled over every word that I managed to speak and then, probably, get dizzy, maybe throw up? How knows, but I’d rather not find out. Public speaking was never my thing and I avoided it at all costs. A few people at my last school who sat in the front row could testify to the very reason why I shouldn’t be allowed near the front of a room.

  After my first two classes, Jayson managed to finagle a way to walk me to my next class and still make it to his before the bell rang. Luckily, my third and fourth classes were in the same hallway. No way for me to get lost. When fourth period was finally over, I let out a relieved breath. I hate Spanish, something I was never good at. Conjugating I could do, but to formulate a sentence, me? Not so much. The bell rang and as soon as I was out the door, I saw Jayson leaning against the lockers waiting for me.

  I gave him a curious look. “Jayson, don’t you have anything better to do than guide me around all day? Or are you just trying to get out of your classes early?”

  “No, not really.” He said with a big smile. I was getting used to that smile. “I thought I would come and walk with you so the caf, unless you would like to find it yourself?” Not waiting for an answer, he spun and started away.

  “No, no. I’ll walk with you.” I said quickly, running to his side and looping my arm with his. No way for him to escape and no way for me to get lost. Bonus.

  We walked down a few halls and through the media center, and then took the stairs down. It was only a short walk from there to the caf. Once we got in the very large room surrounded by glass windows, Jayson walked me over to his usual table, already full of people.

  “Hey guys, this is…”

  “Oh yeah, the new girl! Trystessa, right?” said the girl across the table. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, a small smile crossing her lips, seeming amused.

  “Trystie” I said.

  “Yeah,” Jayson cut back in with a glare. “I know you all heard. This is Trystie. Trystie, these are my friends, most of them.” He gave someone a fixed stare, than continued again. He introduced me to everyone; the girl who interrupted was Becky. She had medium length straight blonde hair and icy blue eyes. I was told she was notoriously known to be out spoken and sometimes rude. I heard the word obnoxious from somewhere around the table and she turned to stick out her tongue. “She’s also a gossip whore.” Jayson whispered not very successfully. That earned him a very unfriendly finger waving in the air. He laughed slightly then continued on.

  He went around the circle making sure I met everyone. Lauren was next, a nice girl with reddish blonde curls shaping her face. She gave me a nod and smiled. Next were Alex and Mike, very large twins with shaggy brown hair and hazel eyes. They looked like they could bench press a Volkswagen.

  Across from them was a girl, Drea. I absolutely loved her short bob haircut and the deep brownish gold color. She waved awkwardly and smiled. Jayson continued the introductions, but suddenly I didn’t hear him anymore. The most gorgeous guy I had ever seen walked into the caf, striding beautifully across the room making time seem to stop. And he was headed in our direction.

  He was at least six feet of absolute perfection. His skin was light and contrasted drastically with his long almost black hair hanging down over his eyes. His loose shirt and fitted jeans fit his lean body flawlessly and complimented his every move.

  I seriously hoped my mouth wasn’t hanging open. I physically checked when everyone turned to see what I was looking at. Becky snickered as she turned and saw what caught my eye. I was too enamored to respond.

  “Hey, Jayson! You missed one hell of a party this weekend. You hurt my feelings not coming.” He stopped and stuck out his bottom lip at his friend. “You know you need to make it up to me, right? The best friend has no valid excuse to miss a party.”

  Then the smile that was created on his face, in that moment, sent a chill through my body and made my knees weak.

  “Yeah, I know.” He ran a hand threw his hair. “And you know I will.” Jayson said in response, than glanced at me quick from the corner of his eye. I knew he was putting something off to come and get me at the airport.

  “Hey, who’s you’re friend?” the guy asked, eye finally focusing on me. I was having a hard time looking away.

  Jayson rolled his eyes and turned toward me. “Kamdyn, this is Trystie. She’s new, just moved up from Florida.”

  Kamdyn’s eyes locked on mine and a chill through my body. I was hoping that it didn’t show on the outside. He stood there, looking at me, confusion written across his face. He stuck his hand out, reaching for mine. His eyes, never left mine. Looking more intently into his eyes, I realized they were an unusual deep violet and even I didn’t remember telling my body to respond, but the next thing I knew, my hand was in his. His eyes never left mine. A slight shock coursed through my hand and up my arm, but he didn’t let go. The feeling was completely different than anything I had ever felt before and I could see in his eyes that he felt it too. I could feel the very essence under my skin reaching, bonding with his and his with mine.

  “Nice to meet you, Trystie,” was all he said. It felt like we stood that way for a long time, eyes locked, hands still clasped. There was no way for me to move. I was frozen under his gaze, locked down by his touch. No one around us existed anymore. I felt as though my mind was being wrapped in his and that both our beings were entwining themselves around each other. Then, someone cleared their throat and he dropped his hand. The experience was over, along with the tingling spark that almost left my hand numb. I heard Becky snicker again from somewhere to my right, but I didn’t look at her.

  Kamdyn straightened himself looking around his friends confused and finally settling on Jayson, looking as if he was going to continue his conversation. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t remove my eyes from him. Not just because of his looks, something deeper, mysterious and unknown. I finally looked away when a girl came bounding up from somewhere behind Kamdyn and jumped onto his back.

  The girl was very pretty, slender with long blonde curly hair and big brown eyes. She was dressed in a really cute tee and a jean skirt. But there was something about her eyes that was… unsettling.

  “That’s Samantha, Kamdyn’s girlfriend.” I heard Becky say, a big smile remained on her face.

  Jayson introduced us, but I don’t think she heard anything he said. I nodded when I was introduced, being as nice as I could. She barely looked at me, making a very annoyed, uninterested face. She reached for Kamdyn’s hand without an acknowledgement toward anyone else. As she and Kamdyn turned to leave, I watched as she leaned into him, “That’s the new girl? I don’t see why everyone is making such a fuss.”

  Jayson turned to me with an apologetic look on his face. “Don’t mind her, she’s a bitch to everyone. It’s not personal.”

  And honestly, I didn’t. I was more than used to being treated like I wasn’t here, like I wasn’t important. Like I am invisible. What’s one more person that agrees with the rest? I shrugged and had a seat next to someone I didn’t remember being introduced to. Jayson squeezed my shoulder and nodded toward the line of impatient, hungry students. I shook my head and tore my attention away from the now empty door.

  The rest of lunch went by in a haze. I was asked a few questions that I know I answered, but I don’t remember what they were. I know Jayson bought me something to eat, I know I ate it, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. Everything about my existence was zeroed in on that one fleeting moment that was now gone. I mentally shook my head, freeing up my thoughts, trying to focus on something else. Anything else. But my mind was only focused on one thing, the electricity that I felt with his hand in mine.

  When lunch was over, Jayson walked me through the halls to my next class in silence. He walked up to the door of the Art room
, told me where my next class was and then turned to leave. Something was bothering him, I could tell. I hadn’t known him long, but since I’d met him, he hasn’t stopped talking. It wasn’t till sometime during lunch that he got quiet. I reached out and grabbed his hand before he got too far.

  “Jayson, is everything okay?”

  He turned back to me, a little smirk on his face, but one that didn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah, I’m good,” he said. “Nothing to worry about. I’ll see you after sixth, okay?” Without waiting for a response, he was running up the hall and disappeared around a corner.

  During my Art class I got to think a good deal about the day. That was one of the reasons I loved art. It gave me a chance to think, to express myself and gave me a chance to let my mind wonder while I worked on something. It was like mental freedom for me. Art always made the tough things in my life seem easier. A place I could escape to without going anywhere. A place I could speak without uttering a single word.

  I thought about the things that happened in the last couple days. I met my new guardians, Justin and Kimber. They seemed like great people and like they really wanted to do everything to make me happy, to make my new life bearable. At one point they were so close to my parents only their distance made their relationship hard. Being with them actually makes me feel like I have something, even though it is a very tiny part, left of them to hold on to.

  Then there was Jayson. He really is a great guy. He seems to want to do everything to help me get comfortable and situated here. He’s not a bad looking guy either. Of all the people I met today, did he introduce a girlfriend? I don’t think so, but I kind of got distracted. Distracted? Yeah, I got distracted, totally and completely lost all train of thought. But that’s a whole other issue to deal with later. Kamdyn. He is down right the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and yet so beautiful he’s almost too beautiful. Surely, normal people don’t actually look that good? It’s nearly… inhuman. I quickly gave myself a mental slap across the face. Focus. Two seconds after you met him, you met his girlfriend! Figures. Not that I think I could stand a chance with someone like him anyway. What would someone like that see in someone like me? Someone nearly invisible. What was wrong with me?

  The bell rang, just to proof that I needed to erase all thoughts of him. The bell was right, get over it! I grabbed my books and made my way to study hall. Yeah, more free time to think about things that had no business running ramped in my head!

  During study, I ignored everything and everyone in the class and threw my nose into my homework for tonight. I had massive amounts of work to catch up on and I needed to keep busy. To keep my mind off the forbidden things that didn’t take more than a little knock for me to open the door and be consumed. It seemed to work though, keeping my thoughts focused on all the work I needed to go and I was proud of myself for managing even that small a victory. Before I knew it, the bell rang. When I looked up at the door, Jayson was already there.

  “You take your chaperone stuff pretty seriously, huh? How much are Justin and Kimber paying you to follow me around school and walk me to every class? I told you, you don’t have to do this. You have to be missing your class time. You’re always at the door as soon as the bell rings. Where was your last class?”

  “Trystie, just let me help you out, okay? No one is paying me and I’m not asking for anything in return. I just want to help you. I don’t need a motive to be a good guy.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.” I said raising one eyebrow at him. He looked at me confused. “Where was your last class?”

  “Oh, um… It was down the hall. It’s not important, can we go?”

  “Sure, lead the way.” He seemed in a better mood now. No more mopy Jayson, thank god. I noticed he seemed to be in a good mood most of the time; to see him unhappy just didn’t sit well with me and seemed nothing like him. And it kind of made me sad.

  We walked down to my next class, my last class. Finally. The day was almost over, and I couldn’t be happier to say that I made it through my first day without total humiliation. Bully for me! At least this is my easiest class of the day. Something I had always been good at, Algebra. Everything seemed to be looking up, until we turned the corner into the hallway of my class and saw who was standing right outside the door, leaning casually against the lockers.

  “Jay! What’s going on? Don’t usually see you down here now.”

  “Hey Kamdyn. I was just walking Trystie to her next class. She has Algebra now.” I noticed that strange look creeping onto Jayson’s face again. He wasn’t happy. Was it Kamdyn? Why? Whatever it was I didn’t like it. I looked up at his face, then glanced at Kamdyn. Kamdyn didn’t look upset and he didn’t seem to notice Jayson’s change in mood either. But I wasn’t going to look at Kamdyn any closer, I couldn’t.

  I turned my back on Kamdyn and stepped between the two of them, facing Jayson. “Thanks again, Jayson. Are you giving me a ride home or…”

  “Yes, definitely. I did offer to pick you up. Did you really think I was going to leave you to find another way home? I’ll be here at the end of class.” He flashed me a quick smile, one that showed a shift in his mood back to the Jayson I was getting to know so well. He nodded at Kamdyn and started back up the hall.

  I didn’t say anything to Kamdyn. I didn’t even look at him as I walked past him into the classroom, but I was fully aware of him following me in. The majority of the seats were already full, so I took an empty seat in the middle of the room all the way against the far wall. I didn’t want to take the chance of sitting where I could see him. The seat I picked could have been better; I was sitting in front of him, but only by one row and two seats over. I just hoped I had no reason to look that way.

  The class, thankfully, went by very quickly. The teacher lectured the whole period, worst of all, on things I already new. Determined to keep my mind occupied and off the forbidden, I doodled in my notebook. I was so lost in my thoughts, doodling, that before I knew it, the period was up and half the class had gone. I stupidly glanced over at the seat Kamdyn was sitting in, thinking he would have been the first one out the door. But no, there he was, still sitting in his seat, staring in my direction. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I turned back as quickly as possible, grabbed my things and got out of the room as fast as possible. At least I didn’t need to think about it much. When I got to the door, Jayson was there waiting.

  “Let’s go.” I said, grabbing his arm and dragging him down the hall. He didn’t ask me what was wrong, and I was hoping he wouldn’t. I couldn’t take even attempting to explain it. I just needed to get out of here.

  Jayson drove us home, back in his usual talkative mood. He talked about all the things that were going on with his friends, but I noticed that he left out Kamdyn as much as possible. Something about bringing him up around me made him uncomfortable. It had to be me if Kamdyn was his best friend. But why? He obviously didn’t want to talk about him, but I couldn’t help but wonder why. We pulled down my long driveway and I noticed no one was home. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag. As I went to go thank Jayson for today, he leaned over toward my empty seat. “Hey, you mind if come in? Unless you have something to do or…”

  “No, Jayson. I don’t mind if you want to stay for a while. Grab your bag. I was going to just do homework for a while. Keep myself busy. Maybe you can help me catch up.” Before I even finished my sentence, he was out of the truck, backpack in hand and walking toward the front door.

  We went right up to my room and dumped our work out on the bed. We started working on separate things first. I think he picked the easiest things to do first so he could keep a conversation going. He liked to talk about his friends, telling me everything possible about them all. And he thought Becky was the gossip whore? But eventually, the inevitable questions finally had to surface.

  “What’s with you and Kamdyn?” Before the sentence left my lips, I regretted asking. I watched as the pain seeped into his eyes.

  He quickly averted his e
yes back toward his word, now totally consumed in his homework. “Well, took you longer than I thought to bring him up.” He paused again and I waited for him to continue. He let out a slow breath, but still didn’t look back up at me. “Nothing is going on with us. Why?”

  “Jayson, every time you see him, you get all weird. Like just now, when I asked. The look is… painful. I thought he was your best friend.”

  “No, it’s nothing really. We’ve been friends forever. He is my best friend. It’s just… I was dreading your reaction to him. Everyone loves him. Every girl wants him and every guy wants to be him. That’s the way it’s always been. I was just hoping you… you might be different.”

  There was another long pause, and I didn’t know what to say. “Oh,” was all I could think to say. I understood everything he was saying, how he felt. I was used to being that person. The one who was always invisible standing next to her best friend, always in their shadow.

  “Yeah,” he continued. “I saw the way you looked at him. I should be used to it by now, but I guess it’s still a shock when I see it again.”

  “I don’t understand why you would care. He has a girlfriend, anyway. It’s not like he’s available and he’s going to take your girl away. He’s really good looking guy, but so are you.”

  I think I was a little too reassuring as I saw a little smirk spread across his face. I hoped he didn’t take it the wrong way.

  “I guess you’re right. He does have a girlfriend. One he’s been with for a while. I don’t see that ending any time soon. So, I guess, he can’t take anything from me then can he?”