Beautiful Nightmare
Page 28
I forced myself to push back all the pain and focus. Slowly, my eyes cleared. I could see the fuzzy trees around me and the stream I ran through, a few feet now to my left, come into focus, but the body that was now holding me down, no matter how hard I tried, wouldn’t become any more than a shadow.
But I knew it wasn’t, he wasn’t a shadow. He was very real. I could feel his weight on top of me. Absentmindedly, I lifted my hand and reached towards him, trying to make sense of a physical shadow. He moved fast, so fast I could have blinked and missed it, as he grabbed both my wrists and forced them painfully high over my head.
I heard someone scream, a high scream that hurt my ears and realized… it was me. The recognition bought the pain in my stiff and frozen arms and shoulders to the front of my mind. I tried not to struggle, mostly because I knew it would only make me hurt more and right then, my whole body was screaming with pain. Pain from running, pain from breathing, pain from the cold and pain caused by him.
I still couldn’t see him, nothing except a fuzzy dark shadow, but I could feel his gaze on me. He was staring so hard it caused tingles all up and down my body.
Shoving both my wrists into one hand he brought the other down, dragging it up my cheek and into my hair, pulling a lock of it forward and stringing his fingers through it. As my hair dropped back down across my shoulder, his hand slowly traveled to my neck and began to squeeze.
I felt the warmth of his hand close around my throat, an almost electric feeling, and I felt myself choking and gasping for air. For whatever reason, I didn’t fight it. I don’t think I could have even if I wanted to. His hand suddenly loosened, sliding down my body and stopped to rest on my ribs. He leaned forward, whispered something, so soft I couldn’t make out the words. I felt his warm breath on my neck only a second before an excruciating pain shot throughout my body. A fire that swiftly melted the ice and consumed me. At this point, all I wanted was for the pain to stop. So I closed my eyes and waited.
Only, nothing happened.
I felt all the pain overriding me slowly ease away and warmth creep its way back into me. No longer riddled with the beginnings of frostbite. No longer crushed and fighting to breath. And finally alone.
Bit by bit I opened my eyes. Looking around I saw I was still in the woods, but I wasn’t in the same place. The small stream I was running down was now on the wrong side of my body.
No, I was on the other side of the stream.
When my eyes started to focus, I saw it. I wasn’t alone.
On the other side of the small stream, I saw it. The sneakers I thought I was wearing sticking out from under something shrouded in shadows. And she wasn’t moving. Then I remembered I was the one just under him. I was the one running and fighting to live. But-
I just gave up.
Why did I just give up?
Before I could move to do anything, the shadow slide his arms away from her and stepped away. He stood over her, looking down and cocking his head slightly to the side.
Without warning, he spun and looked directly at me. And even though I couldn’t see any features of his face, I knew his eyes were on me and he smiled. I could feel him smile.
“See what you did?” he whispered to me.
I jumped at the sound of his voice. It was so beautiful, and it didn’t fit coming out of something so… evil. He dripped of evil. At the shock of his voice, my gaze jumped away from him, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to try and see him. My eyes shifted to the girl crumpled in an awkward position in the snow. Even though I wasn’t very close to her, I could see that her eyes were open and staring straight up. There was no life in them, they were dead. She was dead. If it wasn’t her eyes that told me, it was the torn flesh around where her throat should have been.
Noticing the wound on her neck took all my attention away from everything else. I didn’t see anything, didn’t hear anything. The edges around my vision turned black and only the girl remained, covered from the moon by the dense trees.
I involuntarily took a step backward and the edging blackness eased and he came back into my vision. I dragged my gaze from the girl back to him, waiting for my turn. I didn’t move to run away, I just stared at him. But all he did was laugh, another beautiful sound made wrong by its possessor, and tip his head in my direction and disappeared.
And I screamed.
I opened my eyes and sat up in bed. My heart was pounding and I was drenched in sweat. Again, it happened again. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my hammering heart as I flung back down onto my pillows. Looking over to my nightstand I saw it was three thirty in the morning.
I heard a muffled Paramore song coming from somewhere near my door. I flung my warm covers off and stepped onto the cold floor. Reaching my discarded jacket, I found my phone stuck one of the pockets.
Before I could even see who was calling, I hit the button and answered.
“Are you okay?” I heard from a familiar breathless voice on the other end.
“Yeah, Kamdyn. I’m okay.”
“You don’t sound okay. I heard you. I heard you screaming.”
“What? What do you mean you ‘heard’ me screaming?
“I don’t know. I was asleep and I woke up because I heard you scream. I called as soon as I found my phone. Is everything alright?”
I took a deep breath before I answered. I didn’t want to tell him anything about the dream. I didn’t want anyone to know about the things I was seeing. Even Kamdyn, who was more likely to understand. I don’t know what he would say to something like that, but, no I couldn’t tell him anything. Not yet. “Everything is fine. I just had a bad dream. I’m okay now.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“No,” I answered a little too fast. “I just want to forget it.”
“Are you sure? Are Justin and Kimber still out of town? Do you want me to come over?”
“Kamdyn, it’s three thirty in the morning. No, everything is fine. I’m just rattled. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
He sighed. A wonderful sound that I swore I could feel. “Definitely.”
I crawled back in bed, hiding under my mounds of fluffy blankets, wishing that he was here. Wishing I could call him back and tell him to jump in his car and race over. I was scared and lonely. I felt like a little girl afraid of the dark, but I didn’t care.
I lay wrapped in my warm bed trying to fall back to sleep, but my mind wouldn’t stay still long enough to let sleep in. I tossed and turned thinking about the last two nights, about my last two dreams, those two girls.
I knew that Sable was dead. Despite my dream the night before and watching her die, watching the reports on TV had confirmed it. Now that I had another dream of a girl dying, I knew tomorrow I would see it again. I knew she was dead, really dead.
The only difference was, with Sable, I watched her die as she reached for me, looking for my help. With this girl, who ever she was, I didn’t watch her die. I think I actually felt it.
Kamdyn came by around one that afternoon to pick me up. We decided, after much debate, that we would go back to his house. He wasn’t all that happy about the idea, but I needed to get out of the house, get away from my house. Today, it felt tainted, dirty and broken. I left a note, incase I wasn’t home when Justin and Kimber returned and I was off.
As damaged as the day had started, being with Kamdyn had changed everything. Not once did my thoughts wonder to the damaged parts of my mind.
We took up residence in Kamdyn’s living room with three movies, two big bowls of popcorn, a bag of Sourpatch Kids and a bag of Reeses Pieces. All my choice. We turned off our phones and got comfortable. It was exactly what I needed. All the built up tension, all the worry, everything was left behind and I felt comfortable. I felt like I was home with Kamdyn. It was something I had thought I would never feel again after my parents died.
One of the many things that I loved about Kamdyn was that he didn’t push anything with me. If I said I didn’t want to talk abou
t something, he would wait patiently until I was ready. If there was something we needed to discuss and he knew it made me uncomfortable, he would wait until I brought it up to even come close to touching on the subject. With everything that had happened over the last couple of months, my mind was a never ending tornado, and Kamdyn put up with all my chaos, without so much as a grunt of frustration.
So needless to say, he didn’t mention anything about my “big decision”. Not even a hint toward the subject. I smiled as my thoughts wondered away from the movie to the person sitting next to me. I felt his arm tighten around me, pulling me closer. I turned my head into him, burying my face against his chest, breathing him in, I opened my thoughts, just a little, to let him know how he made me feel. I felt his lips touch my forehead briefly, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. One hand traveled down from my shoulder, down to the edge of my shirt. His fingertips slipped just underneath to stroke the bare skin of my back and a very familiar tingling feeling trailed after where his fingers left my skin. I closed my eyes and let out a loud, shaky breath at the wonderful feeling and felt a deep laugh building in Kamdyn’s chest.
Even though we had hours worth of movies to watch, they were over before I knew it. But I wasn’t even close to being ready to go home. I knew I wouldn’t be going home to an empty house again –thank god- I had gotten a text over an hour ago letting me know they were home and not to rush back, but I just didn’t feel like being there, I wasn’t ready to leave Kamdyn yet.
Before I could finish the thought, a slight tingling ran up from my heated finger, up through my arm and into my chest. I took a quick intake of breath at the sudden sensation and with the slow release of it, the feeling began to subside.
I wanted to look down at my hand, I knew I didn’t need to see it to know what was there, but I also didn’t want to draw attention to it. But it didn’t matter because before I had the chance to finish letting out my breath, Kamdyn was at attention with a concerned look on his face.
“Are you alright?” I must have made some involuntary motion with my hand because the second the words left his lips, his gaze moved to look down at my hand. “Trystie, what happened?”
“Nothing. I don’t know. There was this tingling feeling that just shot up my arm into my chest. It’s over though. It was just uncomfortable.”
“Okay… but what about that?” he asked pointing to my hand with a more curious than worried look on his face.
“Oh.”
“So this isn’t something new? This has happened before? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I… I thought at first I was seeing things. I wasn’t sure it was really there. I wanted to talk to you about it, but the time just never came up.” And then for some reason I couldn’t really explain, I got mad. “You know, I didn’t exactly ask for this. I have no idea what is happening to me. No idea what else will happen. I don’t really even understand what you are and you don’t want to talk to me about it!”
By the time I was finished, I realized I was yelling. A little embarrassed about it and still a little angry, I turned away from him, not even wanting to see whatever expression was on his beautiful face.
I sighed once I was turned away and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. I turned around and opened my mouth to say he was wrong, but he shushed me with a raised hand. “No,” he continued. “I am the one who should be sorry. You are absolutely right. I shouldn’t have expected you to comprehend what you’re going through, let alone insist on a daily report of ‘strange behavior’.” I tried to speak again, and again, he held me quiet. “And you are right for getting angry because as little as I actually do know about what I am and where I came from, I should have at least let you in on it, so you had some kind of idea what to expect.”
He took a deep breath and sat back against the back of the couch. “I was really only looking at this from my angle, not yours. I did want to let you in on things before you made any kind of decision, but I thought… I have no idea what I thought.” He sat up again and reached for my vine covered hand. “The point is, now I understand I need to explain things to you. Everything I can.”
I squeezed his hand in response because I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, so I just sat there and looked at him.
“So, where do I begin?” he asked with a smile that could make me melt.
Chapter Nineteen
“Okay, so basically, there are two main courts, the Seelie and the Unseelie. The Seelie are the good fey and the Unseelie are the bad fey?”
“Well, there is no “good” and “bad”. Techniquly. It’s more a light and dark.” He flashed me a smile.
“And you are sidhe, the largest of fey races and the most human looking. They are also the ones who rule the two courts.”
“That’s what I’m told.”
“Do you belong to either of the courts?”
“I do, but I do not know which one. I am only told that I belong to one but not which one.”
“You’ve never been to either or met your parents?”
“No, not ever. Like I told you my mother gave me up when I was a baby, for reasons I was never told. I was given to the Hawthorns, they too are sidhe, to be raised here. I was never told anything about her and the only thing I have from her is that ring on your finger. I wasn’t even told what I was until recently.”
“Have you ever met other fey?”
“No. I’m told they do not like to come out of Faery, that it drains their powers, makes them feel weak and empty.”
“What about your powers?”
“Oh, I don’t have any powers yet. You don’t get your true powers until after you’re eighteen. The powers I have are just benefits of being what I am.”
“So if what you have aren’t really powers, what exactly is a true power?”
“A true power is something special that you will be able to do much better than anyone else. Some powers are for fighting and defense; an affinity with swords, or a power to touch or look at someone and create a gash in their skin or specific fighting skills and accuracy. Other powers show up as psychological; mind reading, clairvoyance, telekinesis. Many others that I’m sure I couldn’t even dream of.”
“So what about this ring?” I asked looking down at the beautiful and extraordinary ring on my finger. The ring was the only thing left on my hand. Shortly after Kamdyn started to explain things, the vine that had wound itself up my arm and across my shoulder, had slowly retreated the way it had climbed. I knew, ever time I looked at it, it should have freaked me out. It really isn’t everyday that your boyfriend gives you a ring that randomly turns itself into something of substance and climbs up limbs. But looking at it filled me with something else. I wasn’t sure what exactly. It was a feeling I couldn’t quite describe.
While I still had my eyes on the sparkling green stones, Kamdyn’s fingers slid over the top of my hand and brought my attention back to his eyes. My breath caught in my throat as I settled back into his gaze. His eyes had changed from his amazing violet to a bright and glowing violet with a ring of deep wine on the outside and a starburst of green just around the iris.
I couldn’t pull my eyes from his, I was completely captured.
I was brought back to myself with the feeling of a hand on my cheek, a soft tingle just behind. I blinked and was freed.
“You saw my eyes, didn’t you?”
“I… I don’t understand. I look into your eyes all the time. They are such and unusual color, but I’ve never seen… Why do they look different now?”
“Around the time I met you, I had a feeling you could see through most of what I was hiding. The things I needed to hide. It’s called a glamour. It is a disguise to hide what I truly look like. Without it I would draw too much attention. Since I gave you that ring, you have slowly been able to see through certain layers of my glamour.”
“So the eyes I look at everyday aren’t real?” I asked disappointed.
“And the ring is what is helping me see them?”
“I’m not exactly positive about what the ring actually does. I didn’t even know it did anything until after I gave it to you and things started to happen. I wish I could tell you what to expect, but I don’t know.”
He had a look almost like sadness in his eyes and I wasn’t sure why. “Kamdyn, is something wrong?”
“I’m just worried.”
“Worried about what?”
“That I’m taking away your life.”
“Kamdyn, stop it. You’re not taking anything away from me. I have a choice remember. And I will choose what ever I think is best for me, regardless of drawbacks or consequences.”
“You’re right, it is still your choice. So take the time and choose what is best for you. Please.” He reached up again and took my face in his hands. “I couldn’t live with myself knowing you made the wrong choice because of me.”
And he was right. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but it was something I needed to spend some time thinking about because if I made the wrong choice, it would either haunt me till I died or for eternity. I didn’t trust myself to speak so all I did was nod.
When I got home I said hello to Justin and Kimber and politely asked them if they had a good time, even though all I wanted to do was get up to my room. After their thirty minute rehash of their weekend, the long drive, the hotel, the food and shopping, I finally made it upstairs. With all the unanswered questions swimming around in my head, somehow I managed to shut down enough to close my eyes and drift into a, thankfully, dreamless sleep.
School was chaotic. The news about Sable would have been enough to make Monday, gossip-day, but, as I feared, there was more news buzzing around when I got to school to find out another girl from a local town had also gone missing. I didn’t need to ask any questions to know the details about her disappearance, not that it stopped people from telling me, I could have told them a lot more than all the gossip they were throwing around. Still, I kept quiet and listened to the information make its rounds.