Forbidden: Ultimate Stepbrother Collection

by Anna Hard

  I walked over. “How do you know they were fake? I was a total badass in kindergarten.”

  “Yes, of course.” Hailey glanced over at Jessa. “He was born with those shoulders and tattoos.”

  I walked over and my fingers brushed Jessa’s as she handed me the picture. I gazed down at her with a look of longing that made her cheeks darken. Just grazing her fingers against mine had made my pulse speed up.

  I smiled down at the picture. My mask was askew and the fake muscles were a little off balance, but I looked damn happy. “I remember getting that costume. I think I even wore it to bed a few nights.”

  “That is so damn cute,” Jessa said with a sly look my way. “I’ll bet all the girls were swooning over you.”

  “Please, don’t get Mr. Swollenhead started. On Valentine’s Day, the teachers would have to give him two paper bags to carry home all the Valentines he got.”

  “What can I say?” I pointed to Hailey. “And it’s Mr. Butthead to you. Swollenhead sounds like a character in a porno.”

  “Ooh,” both girls laughed.

  “Well, I’d loved to stay and reminisce, but I’ve got to work out. Maybe I’ll pull out that Power Ranger costume for tomorrow night’s fight.”

  Jessa and Hailey fell back with laughter as I turned to leave. I stepped over a stack of pictures, and the top one caught my eye. It was a picture of Jake standing in front of his boat. I leaned down and picked it up.

  “I’m sorry, Beck,” Hailey said quickly. “I’d meant to put those away before you came down.”

  I shook my head to let her know that hadn’t been necessary. Jake was so fucking proud of his sailboat, and with good reason, he’d worked hard to earn the money for it. It had been used and in bad shape when he bought it, but we’d both spent hundreds of hours together restoring it. My throat tightened as I stared down at the picture. I dropped it on the pile and walked out without another word.

  The sun was already hot, and it reflected off the white sand with a blinding brilliance. The water was placid and blue, unlike that day. Jessa had somehow managed to conjure up enough of that day to figure out that I’d been the one to pull her from the water.

  Chaos and terrible weather had made it hard to know exactly what had happened. On top of it all, Jessa had been pale and unconscious when I pulled her through the surface. I could still clearly remember the horror I felt when I thought she was dead. I’d gotten her over to the rowboat, struggling hard to keep both of us above water, when I saw her lashes flutter. The feeling of relief had been overwhelming.

  I’d motored out on the crappy, two man fishing boat my dad had bought for quick trips in the cove. The boat was being tossed and turned like clothes in a washing machine when I hoisted Jessa’s soaked, unconscious body over the side and onto its deck. The broken mast of Jake’s sailboat was jutting out from the rocky bottom. I tied the rowboat up and turned back to the raging waves. I needed to find Jake and fast, but I hesitated. I paused for longer than I should have, and it was that pause that had haunted me for seven years.

  My feet hit the wet sand, and I was ready to take off for my run when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out. It was my manager. “Hey, Dugard, what’s up?”

  “We’re all set for Monday. Creed pulled a hamstring, so you’re going up against Harchfield.”

  “Fuck, I hate that guy. He’s all elbows. Anything else?”

  “Nope, just checking in. You sound off. Are you staying away from liquor and shitty food?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ve been a fucking saint.”

  “How about women? You’ve got to keep your body at the maximum energy level.”

  “Hell, Dugard, why don’t you just lock me up in a fucking box in between fights, and you can just shove steak and kale through a little slit in the wall.”

  “I take that as a no to my question about women?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Right. What the hell am I thinking asking if Beck Grady is staying off women.”

  “Fuck you. I’m just about to run. Anything else you can say to piss me off and add to my already shitty mood?”

  “No, that about does it. Bring some of that anger tomorrow night. That way you can put the elbow man in his place.” He hung up, and I took off at a full run.

  Chapter 21

  Jessa

  Beck had been inexplicably distant and far less attentive than he’d been the past two days, when he’d found it impossible to keep his hands off of me. He used the excuse of having to get his mind and body psyched up for the fight. It sounded like a legitimate excuse, but I’d been heartbroken by the sudden lack of attention, nonetheless. It seemed we were back to an awkward, strained relationship where neither of us seemed to know how to behave with the other.

  We only had two more days left of the long weekend, and we’d be parting again soon. Beck might just have decided to cut it off now before more damage was done. That explanation only made me feel worse. And poor Hailey. I’d tried not to show my despair and keep a bright and cheery face for Hailey, but it had been really hard. When she had insisted that we drive with Cody up north to watch Beck’s fight, I’d been torn. On one hand, it sounded like a good idea and a chance to be near him. The other hand was convinced it was a terrible idea and that he’d be pissed as hell about our surprise attendance.

  I’d changed my mind about going several times and had finally decided to brave it. Beck had borrowed one of his dad’s cars and left early Monday morning, and he had no idea we were going to be driving up later.

  Beck and I had spent Sunday evening alone watching a movie and eating popcorn, but we’d only talked about meaningless topics, like movies and music. He’d kept his hands almost completely to himself, and it bothered me plenty. I took some comfort in sensing that it had been hard on him too.

  A pink dusk clouded the sky above as we rolled down the off-ramp that would eventually take us to the fight stadium. We’d had to go online to find out all of the pertinent information. Beck hadn’t told us anything except that he was heading to a contest and that he’d be back around midnight. According to the schedule Cody had pulled up, the middleweights, where Beck’s name was listed, were scheduled to fight at seven o’clock.

  It had been a warm day on the cove and, stupidly, I’d decided to stick with the summer mood and wear a sundress to the fight. By the time we handed off our tickets and squeezed into the mostly male-filled auditorium, I regretted my fashion choice. There was nothing light and summery about the inside of the stadium. Loud, deep voices echoed off the gray plaster and brick walls. The smell of sweat and closely packed people permeated the dank air. In the center of the floor were two octagons, both decorated with colorful business logos and advertisements. The black rope cage around the floor mats reminded me of the safety net around our playground trampoline. The cages were empty as we walked in. The crowd was just killing time with laughter and small talk until the next round, Beck’s fight.

  Of course, both Hailey and I could have walked into a lecture on molecular physics and had just as much understanding of the subject matter as the rules and scores in an MMA fight. Cody, for all his enthusiasm to attend the fight, seemed much more an academic than a sportsman. I was certain his level of expertise was just a step above the rock bottom level that Hailey and I stood on.

  We found our seats and seemed comically out of place sitting amongst the hardcore fans. The metal risers vibrated with the clamor echoing through the vast building. I tried futilely to keep my mid-thigh length sundress over my legs. I pulled at the fabric every few seconds, a gesture that seemed to be getting even more unwanted attention and lascivious stares than the actual exposure of my legs.

  I leaned close to Hailey so I wouldn’t have to yell. “I’ve made three enormously stupid decisions in my life— jumping off the slide in the park and using my arm to stop my fa
ll, picking a college degree that led to no job prospects and wearing a short, frilly sundress to an MMA fight.”

  Hailey laughed as she wrapped her arm around mine. “Probably not the most practical outfit for climbing auditorium risers.” She glanced around. “But the rest of the spectators seem to appreciate it.”

  The doors at the side of the auditorium opened, and slowly the crowd brought the thunderous noise down to a low rumble. My fluttery winged stomach friends were back. I realized I was nervous as hell about seeing Beck fight. I wasn’t completely sure I could stomach it.

  I looked over at Hailey. She, too, looked a little apprehensive.

  “I’ll be honest, Hail, I might just be watching the whole fight through my fingers like when we watched that Chainsaw Massacre movie. I don’t know if I can watch Beck get hurt.”

  Cody leaned forward. “Beck seems like the kind of guy who does more of the hurting.”

  I smiled weakly at his less than comforting words.

  Hailey patted my arm. “I’m right there with you, Jess. He’s a total butthead, but he’s our brother.”

  It was just a casual reference about Beck’s non-existent stepbrother connection to me, but it knotted my stomach. In Hailey’s mind, Beck and I were just that, siblings. Even if the only real connection was a short marriage stint between our parents, she considered us to be related. How would she ever think otherwise without it putting a weird kink in our relationship? Of course, with the cool way Beck had been acting toward me, I probably didn’t have to worry about it. It seemed that the weekend would end just as it had started— with no ties between Beck and me except that awful summer. Only now we’d been intimate, and that would make it much harder.

  The first fighter came out. He had a wide, crooked nose, a wide forehead and a mean face. He was big like Beck but his muscles weren’t quite as defined. And he had considerably less ink on his skin.

  The cheers grew louder as the second fighter walked out. As intimately as I knew the man, Beck looked almost like a stranger. He was dressed in black shorts that were covered in colorful product logos. His hands were wrapped in black gloves, and his mouth bulged with a mouth guard. He didn’t look half as mean as his opponent, but he looked just as menacing. He had no idea we were sitting in the audience, and something told me, he wasn’t going to be happy when he found out.

  The crowd’s complete attention was on the center octagon. They started off slow. From our vantage point, it looked more like two men hugging each other in an awkward embrace. But from the grunts rolling up from the cage, I assumed it was much more.

  Hailey’s brow lifted. “I don’t get it.”

  Cody leaned over. “Those clinches are tough. Those two guys are using all their strength to get the upper hand in that small space. It’s not easy.”

  “Looks like a weird bro hug to me,” Hailey quipped.

  I thought I could easily stick out the fight if this was what we could expect. But then things moved more toward what I’d feared. There was a blur of muscle and tattoos below as the two men used fists, knees, legs and feet to take their opponent down to the mat. At one point, Beck was under the man’s arm and the jerk brought his knee up into Beck’s chin. Blood seeped from his mouth as he grabbed back and took hold of his opponent’s head. Together they flipped, legs and all, both landing hard on the mat, and both equally quick at getting back to their feet. One minute, it seemed that Beck had the upper hand and his opponent would be on the defense, but then a twist of a body or kick of a leg would send it back to his opponent’s side. Sweat and blood sprayed off both men, and I was physically feeling every blow. Whenever a grunt of pain floated up that was distinctively Beck’s, my stomach would tighten. As I’d predicted, I spent more time looking away than watching the action. But all the while, it seemed that Beck was in his element. He was doing something that he’d worked hard to be good at. He’d found something that mattered to him. He’d never been much of a student, and I knew his dad had always been disappointed in that. But it was obvious this sport took just as much discipline and expertise as any other profession. With the added bonus that it made him that much more appealing. He was pure power and muscular perfection. And he took my breath away.

  The crowd got louder suddenly, and they came to their feet. The big guys in front of us blocked our view, but through the bodies I could see Beck on the floor holding his opponent in a position that could not have been comfortable. Then everyone cheered.

  Hailey and I looked over at Cody for an explanation.

  “Beck won. His opponent tapped out.”

  I caught a glimpse of Beck as he stood in the center of the mat. His lip was swollen and blood was smeared on his chin and chest. The whole place had begun closing in on me. “Hailey, I’ve got to step out for some fresh air. All these people and the blood and sweat are making me feel a little sick.”

  Cody offered to walk me out, but I assured him that I was fine on my own. I managed to make my way through the crush of bodies. I closed my eyes as the cool night air drifted over my clammy skin. I swallowed deep breaths of air, and my stomach and head slowly cleared. I wasn’t completely sure what had come over me. The mass of people, the image of a bloodied Beck down in the arena and the lack of fresh air had been part of it. But none of those were the real reasons behind me suddenly feeling sick. That had come from the harsh realization that soon Beck would once again be out of my life, and I’d continue spending countless hours pining for a man who I could never have.

  Chapter 22

  Beck

  The doctor gave me a quick look over and took care of the cut inside of my cheek. The auditorium had cleared out, and the cleanup crews were hard at work. I sat on the table waiting for Dugard to come in and tell me all the things I’d done wrong in the octagon, a traditional lecture and debriefing I could definitely do without tonight. Dugard was in charge of locking the place up, and he was taking his sweet time. The door opened and Hailey walked through it. Cody walked in behind her. He held the door, and Jessa stepped into the room, the dark, stark room that suddenly looked way better with her standing in it.

  I raised an angry brow at Hailey and realized that the side of my face was swollen. “What the hell, Hailey? Why didn’t you tell me you guys were coming?” I spoke to Hailey, but my entire attention was on Jessa. She looked so sweet and feminine and inconsistent in the locker room that I had to smile. She wasn’t smiling though. She looked as if she’d rather be standing anywhere but the locker room.

  “We thought we’d surprise you,” Hailey said hesitantly.

  I looked toward the door, even though I knew no one else was walking through it. “Dad didn’t come?” My dad had never come to see me fight.

  Hailey fidgeted with her purse. “No. He would have, but he was busy.”

  “Right. Busy.” I scrubbed my hair back. It was sticky and wet with sweat. “Can’t believe you guys came.” I looked over at Jessa again. “You all right, Ducky? You look pale.”

  She crossed her arms around herself, and I wanted to grab her to me. I never liked seeing her uneasy or upset.

  “I’m fine. I was just a little overwhelmed by it all.”

  “She didn’t like to see you get hurt,” Hailey said. “I, on the other hand, discovered that I have a much stronger stomach than I realized.”

  I gazed at Jessa, no longer caring if it seemed overlong or strange to Cody and Hailey. Jessa’s fingers trembled as she tucked a long, auburn strand of hair behind her ear. She was wearing tiny gold hoops in her perfect little ear, and I badly wanted to trace that ear with my tongue. I’d just fought and the bout had gone on long enough that I was physically spent, yet I wanted Jessa badly. I’d been denying myself her sweet body for a number of reasons, least of which had to do with getting ready for the fight. The picture of Jake had stirred up some uneasiness in my conscience. It had reminded me how complicated
this all was. But, now, seeing her standing completely beautiful and heartbreaking in the locker room, it was all pretty damn clear. I needed her.

  “Now that you’re here, I won’t have to wait before I hit the road. The doctor wanted me to rest for an hour before I made the long drive. Now I have a ride back.” I looked pointedly at Jessa, but Cody stepped forward.

  “I can drive you. The girls can take Hailey’s car home.”

  I looked at Jessa for a second longer before turning to Cody. “No offense, buddy, but if I have to choose, then I’ll pick the cutie in the sundress over you.”

  Hailey rolled her eyes, but she still seemed completely clueless about what was happening between Jessa and me. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss. It was something Hailey would not be happy about, but I didn’t give a damn anymore. I was through torturing myself.

  “Jessa wasn’t feeling well,” Hailey reminded me.

  “No,” Jessa said quickly, “I’m fine now. I’ll drive Beck home. You two go on ahead. We’ll be right behind.”

  My sister stared suspiciously at me, and she shot the same odd look at Jessa. Maybe she did have a clue. As far as I was concerned, it always seemed pretty fucking obvious that there was something between us.

  Hailey and Cody left reluctantly.

  Jessa walked over. She leaned forward and kissed the bruise on my face. “How do you manage to make battered, bloodied and bruised look this sexy?”

  “Yeah? You like this look, huh?”

  “Oddly enough, I do.” She leaned closer, and my hand went to her thigh. I pushed the dress up and smoothed my palm over her silky skin.

  “Well, I could go over to those lockers and smack my face against them a few times to really get the look going.”

  She laughed. “Don’t think that will be necessary.”

  The door opened. I reluctantly pulled my hand out from under her dress. Dugard looked at Jessa like a wolf looking at Red Riding Hood.