Autumn Lover

by Elizabeth Lowell

  “Hunter!”

  The word echoed around the cave, Elyssa’s voice doubled and redoubled, calling his name.

  Hunter cocked his head, listened, and smiled.

  The tenderness and sensuality in his smile made Elyssa forget to breathe.

  “Hunter?” she whispered.

  “I’m right here.”

  He walked out of the stream onto the sandy bank and kept on going.

  “Put me…down,” Elyssa said, swallowing.

  “In a minute. We’re almost there.”

  As Hunter walked, sand whispered and slid away from his boots with a silky sound.

  Elyssa started to speak, then closed her mouth. She was afraid her voice would give away the turmoil of her mind and body.

  Hunter was too close. Too powerful.

  Too gentle.

  He carried her as though she was made of a crystal so fragile that a breath would set it to shivering and singing. It made her feel just that fragile, just that shivery.

  The tremors that went through Elyssa were felt by Hunter as well. He looked down into her face. All he saw was the flash of her half-closed eyes, the tightness of her lips, and the pallor of her smooth skin.

  Hunter’s mouth flattened. Elyssa looked like a woman who was afraid of something. When he thought about what had happened the last time he was this close to her, he had a good idea of what she feared.

  I told you, next time you’ll enjoy it.

  My God, you must really think I’m stupid. “Next time you’ll enjoy it.” What rot!

  Suddenly last night’s foolproof plan looked like purest folly in the light of day.

  I hate you.

  I don’t want you anymore. Ever. In any way.

  Nothing had changed since Elyssa had made those searing declarations.

  Tension drew Hunter’s body so tight he had to fight to breathe. Slowly he lowered Elyssa’s feet to the sand until she was standing next to the bedroll he had so carefully prepared.

  When Hunter spoke, his voice was much more harsh than he intended.

  “Don’t be frightened of me,” he said. “I swear before God I never meant to hurt you.”

  Elyssa didn’t trust herself to speak. She simply closed her eyes and turned her face away from Hunter.

  “Do you really hate me so much?” he whispered.

  Her eyes flew open.

  “Do you?” he asked in a raw voice.

  Silently Elyssa shook her head.

  “Then why are you trembling and turning away as though you can’t bear the sight of me?” Hunter asked. “My God, you won’t even speak to me.”

  “I—” Elyssa’s voice broke.

  She turned her back on Hunter and swallowed again, fighting for control of herself.

  “It—it would be easier to hate you,” she whispered. “But I can’t. So I hate myself instead. I was such a fool.”

  Hunter’s eyelids flinched at the pain in Elyssa’s husky voice. He turned her until she was facing him again.

  Facing him, but not looking at him.

  “Marry me,” Hunter said starkly.

  Elyssa shook her head. Though she said nothing, her past words hung between them in an echo of feminine outrage.

  No wonder churches and townships make sure girls are virgins before they marry. They never would suffer it otherwise.

  With aching tenderness Hunter’s fingertips brushed over Elyssa’s eyebrows, her cheeks. Tears were caught in her eyelashes like warm rain.

  “Don’t cry, honey,” Hunter whispered. “I’d rather be horsewhipped than make you cry again.”

  Elyssa didn’t answer.

  She couldn’t. Hunter’s lips were touching her tenderly, brushing butterfly kisses against her temples, her cheeks, her eyelashes. In hushed, trembling silence, he stole her tears before they could fall.

  Breath caught in Elyssa’s throat. Her heartbeat speeded in a wild rush. Tremors she couldn’t control rippled through her. Her fingers curled into her palms until her nails left marks.

  He doesn’t love me.

  I can’t stop loving him.

  Elyssa felt as though she was being torn apart. she wanted to flee. She wanted to stay in Hunter’s arms. She wanted to push him away from her.

  But most of all she wanted to bathe in the healing, intoxicating fire of Hunter’s gentleness.

  “Don’t be frightened,” Hunter whispered against her lips. “I just want…”

  Hunter’s voice died. What he wanted would send Elyssa running right out of the cave.

  He closed his eyes and called himself fifty kinds of fool. Then he hugged Elyssa very gently against his chest, rocking slowly, stroking her back with one big hand.

  “It’s all right,” he said huskily. “I won’t hurt you. Please, honey. Don’t cry.”

  With each word came a tender kiss, a tear sipped from her eyelashes, another kiss.

  The trembling in Elyssa increased.

  “It’s all right, little one,” Hunter whispered against her lips. “You’re safe. I’ll let you go as soon as you stop trembling. If that’s what you want…”

  Though Hunter didn’t mean to, the tip of his tongue traced the outline of Elyssa’s mouth in a silence that trembled with possibilities.

  “Is that what you want?” he whispered.

  Hunter’s breath was warm and sweet against Elyssa’s skin. She made a small sound.

  “Is that yes or no?” Hunter asked. “Let you go or keep you close?”

  The smooth heat of his lips against her eyelids both reassured Elyssa and increased the trembling of her body.

  When Hunter felt the tremors raking through her, he ached with an emotion more complex than desire.

  “Elyssa?” Hunter whispered helplessly against her lips. “Let me kiss you. Just one kiss, honey. Then I’ll let you go, if that’s what you want. I can’t stop thinking how it felt just to kiss you. You liked that much of my lovemaking, at least.”

  Before Elyssa could think of all the reasons to refuse, her face lifted to him. The taut jerk of Hunter’s body at her acceptance of his kiss brought more tears to her eyes.

  He didn’t love her, yet he wanted her with a force that made him tremble. But despite the depth of passion in him, he was fully in control, fully restrained.

  This time.

  He cares for me that much, at least, Elyssa thought helplessly. He is gentle with me.

  Elyssa whispered Hunter’s name as his lips moved tenderly over hers.

  Another bolt of emotion tore through Hunter. With light touches of his hands, he gathered Elyssa closer against his chest. Softly he kissed the edges of Elyssa’s mouth until she shivered and opened her lips for him. Only then did he allow himself to deepen the kiss as he had longed to do.

  The first taste of Elyssa was sweeter and at the same time more arousing than anything Hunter had ever known. Holding her carefully, he tasted her again and again, slowly immersing himself in the dark, heated wine of her kiss.

  The restrained, sensual joining of mouths unraveled Elyssa’s caution. With each gentle glide of Hunter’s tongue, she gave more of herself to the kiss.

  And to him.

  Her hands crept up the front of his jacket, lifted, hesitated. Finally they rested, trembling, on his freshly shaved cheeks.

  Another tremor jerked through Hunter, telling Elyssa that her caress moved him. Tears burned in her eyes and overflowed again.

  It’s only desire that Hunter feels for me, Elyssa reminded herself.

  And she was trembling with much more than desire.

  But it was very sweet for Elyssa to be able to touch Hunter in any way at all. To be touched by him with such tenderness made the world begin to dissolve and swirl slowly around her.

  The tiny, passionate sound Elyssa made at the back of her throat sent pure fire through Hunter’s veins. The kiss became deeper, more hungry, yet his strength remained tightly leashed. He held her like a rainbow arched and shimmering in his arms.

  Elyssa’s fingers sl
id from Hunter’s cheeks to his thick, black hair. His hat tumbled unnoticed to the ground. The heat of his scalp drew another small sound from her throat. Her hands tightened in his hair with sensuous urgency.

  Catlike, Hunter’s head moved against the caress, heightening the pressure of her fingers against his scalp. The frank sensuality of the movement sent ripples of heat through Elyssa.

  Recklessly she drew her fingers down Hunter’s scalp to his bare nape. The lightning stroke of desire that arced through him in response was echoed in her own body.

  Elyssa’s hands were hungry to caress more than the narrow strip of skin between Hunter’s hairline and his jacket collar. Her palms remembered what it was to rub unhindered over his chest, to feel the masculine bunch and swell of muscle, to savor the soft abrasion of his hair curling against her skin.

  Belatedly Elyssa realized that her hands were pushing Hunter’s jacket away from his chest. Shocked by her own unruly hunger, she froze.

  Hunter knew only that Elyssa no longer was returning his hungry kiss. Instead, her hands were pushing against his shoulders. Reluctantly he lifted his mouth, as he had promised he would.

  Just one kiss.

  “It’s all right,” Hunter said huskily. “You don’t have to fight me. I’ll let you go.”

  Yet even as he spoke the words, he couldn’t force himself to release Elyssa entirely. Delicately his fingertips stroked her hands where they pressed against his chest.

  The tiny, yearning caresses made Elyssa ache for all that she would never know of Hunter’s heart. But she could know the elemental power of his desire. She could be the center of his world.

  For a time.

  Elyssa hesitated, shivering. Her body was certain that this time there would be more than pain waiting for her in Hunter’s arms. The promise he had made was as much a lure to her as the male power of his body lying coiled and waiting against her palms.

  You’ll want it, too. I’ll see to it. Like setting a match to straw.

  Taking a ragged breath, Elyssa gathered her courage.

  “I wasn’t fighting,” she whispered.

  “You were pushing me away.”

  “Not you. Just your jacket.”

  When Hunter understood, desire stabbed violently through his body. For a moment he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even breathe.

  With a sinuous twist Hunter stripped off his jacket and tossed it aside.

  “It’s gone,” he said in a deep voice. “Now what?”

  “I…”

  The twilight of the cave couldn’t hide the flush that came to Elyssa’s face.

  Abruptly Hunter remembered. For all Elyssa’s reckless response to him, she was just a brief step removed from innocence. She had taken that step with him, but only after he had dragged a confession of desire from her.

  I…want you.

  And then he had mocked her for having difficulty with the words.

  Was the truth so hard?

  “I…” Elyssa began again.

  Hunter touched her lips with his thumb, sealing them. He couldn’t take back what had happened the first time Elyssa trusted her body to him. He could only try to make her understand that the shame was his, not hers.

  “Hush,” Hunter said gently. “I didn’t mean to tease you that way. I want you until I can’t breathe, but I don’t want to frighten you and I’m no damned good at reading your mind. That’s why I asked what you wanted next.”

  Smiling despite the tears gathering in her eyes, Elyssa kissed Hunter’s thumb.

  The simple caress sent a surge of emotion through Hunter. His eyes closed and his world shrank to the warmth of Elyssa’s breath flowing between his fingers.

  “Let me show you how it should have been the first time,” Hunter said, opening his eyes. “Let me show you…everything.”

  The only thing Elyssa could say was Hunter’s name. All her doubts and hesitations vibrated through her voice.

  So did her passion.

  Finally Elyssa nodded because her throat was too tight for her to speak again.

  “This time,” Hunter said in a low voice, “I won’t cover that sweet mouth of yours. I’ll hear each sound you make, every word you say. Even if the word is no.”

  Elyssa’s breath rushed over Hunter’s hand again. He tested the fullness of her lower lip with the ball of his thumb.

  The simple intimacy of the caress made Elyssa tremble.

  “Do you understand?” Hunter asked softly. “If I go too fast, just tell me. I’ll slow down. I’ll even stop, if that’s what you want.”

  Again, Elyssa nodded.

  “Are you sure?” Hunter asked.

  The tip of her tongue touched his thumb.

  Breath hissed out from between Hunter’s teeth.

  “Tell me in words,” he said hoarsely. “Just this once. I won’t ask again. But I have to be sure, this time.”

  Elyssa looked at Hunter’s clear, burning eyes and knew that he needed the words.

  “I want what I had with you before you…before…” Elyssa took an uneven breath. “If that means taking the pain along with the pleasure, well, it wasn’t that bad. Just…unexpected…after all the pleasure.”

  Hunter closed his eyes. The thought that he had prevented Elyssa even from crying out when he hurt her was acid eating at his soul.

  “I’ll give you just the pleasure,” he said. “I’ll keep the pain to myself.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know. But I do.”

  “But—”

  Hunter smiled sadly and skimmed Elyssa’s lips with the ball of his thumb.

  “Wouldn’t you rather kiss me than ask me questions?” he whispered.

  22

  Elyssa wished she could still the shakiness in her body and voice, but she couldn’t. So instead of trying to speak, she just braced herself against Hunter’s strength and stood on tiptoe to reach his mouth.

  He met her halfway, then lifted her the rest of the way. She made an odd sound as she felt the length of her body resting on his.

  Hunter heard and started to lower Elyssa to the ground again. Instinctively she locked her arms tightly around his neck. The movement kept her body pressed against his.

  “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Hunter said against Elyssa’s ear.

  “You didn’t.”

  “You cried out and trembled.”

  “It felt so good,” she whispered.

  “To be lifted?”

  “To feel you from my forehead to my knees.”

  The passionate tightening of Hunter’s body at Elyssa’s words couldn’t be concealed, especially when she was pressed so closely against him. He made a ragged sound and fought to subdue his wild hunger for her.

  Elyssa tipped her head back until she could see Hunter’s face.

  “Are you frightened?” she asked, her voice shaky and teasing at the same time.

  “Me?” Hunter asked in disbelief.

  “You cried out and trembled.”

  Hunter’s smile was as slow and hot as the kiss he gave Elyssa’s neck.

  “Sassy to the core,” he murmured. “I like that.”

  “You do?” she asked, surprised.

  “Mmm.”

  The purring sound Hunter made vibrated against Elyssa’s neck in another kind of caress.

  “It’s part of the passion in you,” he said.

  Hunter’s head turned. He brushed his lips over Elyssa’s. The tip of her tongue darted out, tracing his smile. What began as teasing quickly became a kiss of drugging intimacy.

  For a time Elyssa forgot where she was, who she was, what she was doing. She knew only Hunter’s complex taste, his heat, the full, rhythmic penetration of his tongue…and the fire of her body rising to meet his.

  One kiss became another and another and then another, until Elyssa was dizzy and breathing raggedly, and every breath came out with a small whimper.

  For Hunter each tiny sound was a separate flame licking over his hungry body. He held E
lyssa closer, harder, and was held just as fiercely in return.

  Before the final kiss ended Elyssa was trembling and straining to be even closer to Hunter. Her body twisted against his with each urgent breath she took.

  Hunter dragged his mouth away from Elyssa’s and struggled to subdue a passion more intense than he had ever known. The broken, pleading sound of his name on Elyssa’s lips nearly snapped what remained of Hunter’s control.

  Slowly he sank to the bedroll, taking Elyssa with him. He hadn’t planned to do it. His knees simply refused to hold any longer.

  “Hunter?”

  “It’s all right. I won’t hurt you. I just—” He took a swift, ragged breath. “You take the ground from beneath my feet.”

  Elyssa looked at Hunter’s dilated, smoky eyes and felt an answering fire lance through her.

  “That’s only fair,” she said.

  “How so?”

  “You do the same to me. You always have. I just didn’t know why.”

  “And now you do?”

  “No one can stand upright on fire,” Elyssa whispered. “All you can do is sink into it…and let it burn.”

  Distantly Hunter wondered how much more he could take before he lost control.

  He didn’t know.

  But he knew he was going to find out.

  “Hunter?” Elyssa whispered. “Is something wrong? You look so fierce.”

  He smiled. Like his expression, Hunter’s smile was rather uncivilized.

  “Nothing is wrong,” he said. “In fact, something is very, very right.”

  “It is?”

  “You don’t need your boots right now, do you?” Hunter asked, removing his own as he spoke.

  Elyssa blinked, startled by the change of subject.

  “Er, no,” she said. “I don’t often wear them in bed.”

  Hunter gave a crack of laughter and shook his head. His fingers never hesitated as he nimbly removed boots and bright red socks from Elyssa’s feet.

  “Bill named you right,” Hunter said, smiling. “Sassy.”

  The caressing quality of Hunter’s voice took all the sting out of the nickname.

  Elyssa smiled up at Hunter despite the race of her heart and her unsettled breathing. He was caressing her feet, her ankles, the curve of her calves beneath her loose trousers.