Out of the Shadows (Renegades)

by Ana Stone

“I’m serious, Roxy. West will stop at nothing to meet his objective and he’ll take down anyone who gets in his way. Not only that, he’s a player. There’s no future with him”

  “We’ve already had this talk, Zeke so why do we have to rehash it? I’m not looking for a future with the man. But even if I was, as least he’s on the right side of the law. Can you say the same thing?”

  “I can’t talk about that here.”

  “Of course not.” She had not expected anything different from him. In the short time she’d known him he’d proven himself to be a master at shutting her out, skirting the truth so that he never revealed what she wanted to know.

  “Roxy!” He tightened his grip on her wrist as she tried to pull away. “Please. I’m not blowing you off. But this isn’t the place. Let me come to your house later tonight and I promise we’ll talk. Really talk.”

  “I can’t. I’m on night shift.”

  “Get Jones to switch with you. Call in sick. Please.”

  “Why?” She asked. “What good will it do, Zeke? What will it change?”

  “Roxy, I need to see you. I need you.”

  The change in his tone of voice had something weakening inside her. He pulled her closer. “Look, I know it doesn’t make any sense, and it’s probably not smart, but I can’t help it. It’s the way it is. I need you.”

  She wished she believed that. Maybe part of her did. She could believe that he needed to keep her just close enough that she’d stay out of his and the MC’s way. Just close enough that she would push West away and thus help Zeke achieve whatever goal he was after. That he needed her for love was something she wished were true but didn’t trust for an instant.

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or don’t want to?”

  The look on his face undid her. It tore right through her defenses and left her naked and vulnerable to what she felt for him. She reached out and placed her hand on the side of his face. “You have no idea how much I want to.”

  Zeke pulled her against him in one move. His lips claimed hers and she had no will to fight him. God help her but she wanted him beyond all reason. He would probably either get her killed or imprisoned, but she couldn’t refuse him.

  When the kiss ended, she stepped back from him. “I leave for work about ten to eleven. Be there any time after seven and we’ll talk.”

  “I’ll be there at eight.”

  She nodded, turned and walked to the door of the gym. She heard him start his bike and paused as she opened the door to look back. He was watching her. “Eight,” he said with a promise on his face.

  She nodded and entered the gym. West would tell her she was a fool to have given in. She couldn’t disagree. But she couldn’t change the way she felt about Zeke. Just like she couldn’t change the fragments of memories she had of him. West might be right. Zeke might have cheated on her, betrayed her and treated her like shit a hundred times over, but in every memory she had, one thing remained constant.

  She loved him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  West was furious. He slammed the door of the hotel as he entered his suite and threw his hat across the room. He’d followed Roxy and had been staked out down the block when she returned to the gym after her run. He saw her kiss Zeke.

  Damn it all. What was it going to take to make her believe that Zeke would only hurt her?

  As he pondered that question his phone rang. When he pulled it from his pocket and saw who was calling, his anger was eclipsed with another emotion. Nervousness. He answered the call. “Franklin.”

  “You broke protocol. She was not to be activated until the order was given.”

  “It was necessary.”

  “It was not your call.”

  “I had no choice,” he said as he walked to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink.

  “Your directives were to gain her allegiance.”

  “Which is exactly what I’ve been trying to do, but she’s in a lot deeper with him than we realized. I had to activate her early. The techs said it would take a while for her memories to integrate with her conscious mind. Maybe a week. And that she shouldn’t be given any information about what she remembers or it might alter the memories. So, I activated her in order to strengthen the idea that she couldn’t trust him.”

  “And that she could trust you, I gather.”

  “Yes.”

  “And?”

  He hesitated. No way was he going to say he’d failed. “I’ve made progress, but I need to spend more time with her to reinforce that idea.”

  “Then why are you not with her now?”

  “She’s at the gym and she’s on night shift.”

  “A wrinkle has developed. The club’s new partner is seeking ways of undermining them.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Deal with the situation with Roxy. Get in touch with the Chief of Police and have her schedule altered. Tell the Chief you need her tonight for the task force. If he gives you any resistance, have him call the number you were provided and we’ll make sure he complies. You will go to her, tonight, and you will do whatever is necessary to get her under control. We’ll take care of the rest. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  The line went dead. West downed his drink and took a seat on the couch. He would have to play things very carefully. Now his ass was on the line. He was losing control of the mission. Whatever the “wrinkle” was, he was not being made privy to the information. He had to get back in control. It was the only way to make sure things played out according to plan.

  He was going to get back control of the mission. And he was not going to lose Roxy. One way or another, he was going to win. No matter the cost.

  *****

  Roxy looked at the time on the cable box. Twenty minutes until ten. She pushed herself up and went into the kitchen to open the refrigerator door, then promptly closed it. She wasn’t hungry. She was just tired and frustrated. Zeke had promised to be there at eight. It looked like, once again, he had lied.

  To make matters worse, the Chief had called an hour ago to tell her that Jones was taking her shift tonight because he needed her to fill in for him next week so he could go to Charlotte to visit his wife’s sister.

  It had annoyed her a bit that he’d made the arrangements without consulting her, but she had not argued. She liked Deputy Courtney and was willing to do him a favor. Besides, if Zeke showed up, chances were things would end in an argument, and she didn’t relish the idea of going to work after that.

  Now it looked like she would not have to do either. Obviously, Zeke wasn’t going to show up. So, what was she going to do? She wasn’t sleepy, and honestly didn’t look forward to going to bed. The images and memory fragments really kicked into high gear when she wasn’t busy doing something.

  That prompted her into motion. It was a hot and humid night. Perfect for a swim. She grabbed a towel from the bathroom and headed outside. With no neighbors behind her or to one side and Zeke not home, there was little need for a swim suit. Especially if she did not turn on lights. So, she stripped down and jumped in.

  The water was cool enough to give her a slight shiver, but within a minute her body had adjusted. She swam a few laps then rolled over on her back and stared up at the half moon in the sky. It took less than ten seconds before her mind started to churn. With a snarl, she rolled over and submerged to swim the length of the pool.

  Half an hour later she was tired enough to climb out of the pool, wrap a towel around her and lie back on a chaise lounge. She stared up at the sky, her thoughts troubled. The memories that were returning were still jumbled but provided two bits of information she had to give serious consideration.

  The first was that Zeke had the power to hurt her. He’d done it before and would continue. While he might profess to loving her, it wasn’t the kind of love she could be happy with. He’d turn his back on her without hesitation for the MC. As selfish as it was, she needed to come first and with him, she never would.<
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  The second revelation was that she really had no clue what her life was about. She didn’t doubt her memories of childhood. Those were as constant as ever. But her life over the last ten years was a muddled mess of confusion. There were memories of life in the Army, but they were mixed with memories of missions and places that did not seem to be connected with the Army.

  Neither revelation brought happiness or even peace but at least it brought a small amount of clarity and what she was clear on right now was that she could not trust her own memories. In fact, the only person she seemed to be able to trust at all was West.

  Zeke saw her when he reached the outside door of the lanai. When she had not answered his knock at the door, he had walked around back to see if she was sitting outside.

  He opened the door and walked in. As he entered she rose.

  It took his breath. Water and wet hair streamed down over her shoulders and breasts and the towel wrapped around her revealed her long legs and the tops of her full breasts.

  “Zeke!” She hitched her towel more securely around herself.

  He knew he should step back, give her space, suggest that she dress. But he couldn’t do that. All of the jealousy that had been eating at him over seeing her with West, at the idea that she might have been with West, took charge.

  His legs propelled him to her as if of their own accord. She retreated until her back was against the door leading into the house. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up against him.

  “Don’t,” She whispered right before he kissed her.

  He could not have stopped even if he had wanted to. One taste of her and he knew he would not be able to stop until he’d had his fill of her. But the tension in her lips did not abate and it drained his ardor. He pulled back to look at her and at that moment they both heard the sound of engines. Bikes. On the road, getting louder.

  The sound grew closer. To Zeke’s house. As they listened, the sound of engines died, followed closely by the sounds of voices, yelling and someone pounding on a door.

  “Zeke! Zeke! Get the fuck out here, man!

  Zeke looked down at Roxy. He didn’t want to leave her. Didn’t want to leave the moment unfinished. But if he didn’t answer the men at his door, they’d tear it down.

  “I have to go.”

  She did not say a word. She just stared at him with anger stamped on her face. His phone rang and he answered, putting it on speaker.

  “Where the fuck are you?” Chopper’s voice bellowed over the speaker. “Harley’s been shot.”

  “What?”

  “Shot, muthafucker. Him and two Mexicans at the meth lab. Someone made off with 50 pounds of the shit. If we don’t get it back, the Cartel will be on our asses like white on fucking rice, man. And we don’t have the payment on the fucking guns that are coming in next week. We gotta hit the fucking streets and find the goddamn meth.”

  “Meet you at the club in ten.” Zeke said and ended the call. He looked at Roxy.

  She met his eyes for a long moment reached out to place one hand on his chest. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t, Zeke.”

  “I do, Roxy. Look, I know you don’t understand and I swear to God I’ll explain, but I’m asking you to please trust me.”

  “How can I?”

  “Because you love me?”

  “Does that make a difference?”

  “It makes all the difference, Roxy.”

  “Then don’t go. If it matters, then don’t. Please. We can still leave. Go anywhere.”

  “Not with this hanging over our heads,” he argued.

  She stepped back from him. “Fine. Then go. But you can’t have it both ways, Zeke. You want the MC then go. But don’t come back. I mean that. When you walk out that door, don’t walk back in.”

  “Roxy, I swear—“

  “No. No more promises, Zeke. This is over.”

  Zeke wanted to argue, wanted to make a case for why she should just give him time. He had a plan. But now wasn’t the time. Shit had hit the fan and could destroy his plan. He had to try and get things back on track. Otherwise his plan would not work.

  And he could not tell her that now. So, he did the only thing he could do. He turned around and left.

  Roxy watched him go. When the door closed behind him, she stood there alone, waiting and hoping he would turn around and come back. The sound of his bike was a sure indication that was not going to happen.

  She took a seat on the lounge and stared at the water. Maybe her memories, and West had been right all along. Zeke had never been honest with her. He showed up, played on her emotions and her desire for him and refused to be honest with her. If he loved her, why wouldn’t he agree to leave this place and the MC behind and go somewhere and start a new life?

  Suddenly she started. She needed to talk to West. He knew her past – obviously better than she did, and he knew what was happening to her, why she was remembering things that seemed to be from another person’s memories.

  She ran into the house, dressed, grabbed her keys and her phone and dialed as she walked out of the door. He answered on the second ring.

  “West? Are you busy?”

  “Never too busy for you.”

  “Good. I’m on my way to you now.”

  “I’m waiting.”

  Roxy ended the call and got in her car. She needed answers and one way or another West was going to give them to her.

  He opened the door at the first knock and they stood there for several seconds, eyes locked. He finally moved, reaching out to run his hand into her hair along her neck. “You okay?”

  “I need answers.” She brushed by him to enter the suite.

  “To what questions?” He asked as he closed the door and turned to her.

  She threw herself down on the couch and put her fists to her eyes, as if that action would stop the headache that had been pounding for the last several days. “Tell me about Zeke. About me and Zeke. About me and you. She lowered her hands and looked at him. “I need to know, West.”

  He nodded and walked over to the bar. “Drink?”

  “No.”

  “Might help.”

  “Fine, whatever.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

  When she felt his weight on the couch beside her she opened her eyes. He held out a glass to her.

  “No thanks,” she declined.

  “Drink it.”

  “I don’t—“

  “Trust me, you’re gonna need it.”

  She took the glass and he clinked his against it. “Bottoms up.”

  Rather than argue, she swallowed the contents of the glass in two gulps then slammed the glass down on the coffee table. “Okay, drinks done. Now talk.”

  West polished off his drink, and put his glass on the table then angled to face her. “Roxy, I told you before that it’s important that the memories return on their own. If I—“

  Rage exploded, assuming control. She pounced on him, pushed him back and climbed on top of him, wrapping her hands around his throat. “Tell me!” She screamed, increasing the pressure on his throat.

  Roxy was a strong woman. Unless he countered, she could easily choke him. But she was also enraged and confused, and he had to counter in a manner that not only satisfied her need to release the rage, but one that kept either of them from suffering physical damage.

  So, he opted for a fast and decisive defense. He reached up and planted his hand on her throat, his index and middle fingers on one side of her larynx and his thumb on the other. Sometimes called a “C-O” maneuver, it was extremely effective. All one had to do was squeeze. Which he did.

  A strangled gasp emerged from her mouth, but her hands remained locked on his throat so he increased the pressure. For a couple of seconds he wondered if she would relent or push him to use lethal force. Finally he felt her grip loosen and she threw herself back from him, her breath harsh and fast.

  West rubbed h
is throat. Tomorrow there would be bruises, but that made little difference. What mattered was the woman slumped on the other end of the sofa, her eyes filled with pain. “Roxy, honey – I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head and swiped at tears that gathered in her eyes. “My head’s so fucked up, West. I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

  The raw pain in her voice and tears streaming down her face undid him. He could have bull-shitted his way around her questions if she had demanded, threatened or even continued the fight. What he couldn’t combat was her pain and need.

  Damn, but he hated having such a weakness and Roxy was that, his one real weakness.

  He moved across the couch to her to wrap her in his arms. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her body trembling as she fought the tears. West held her, his mind scrambling for a way to give her the answers she needed without compromising what he had worked so hard to accomplish.

  West was so caught up in thought that he didn’t realize her trembling had stopped. She pushed back to look at him and he gave her a smile. “It’s going to be okay, honey.”

  “How?” she asked.

  “Tell me what you remember.”

  She opened her mouth, closed it and got up off the couch to pace the floor. “It’s a jumble. Doesn’t make sense. The Army. Missions. Missions that aren’t the Army. Not in theatre, not Intelligence. Something… something else. Places I know but I can’t know. People—“

  She stopped and turned to face him. “You and Zeke. A woman. Older. In charge.”

  He nodded. “And how do you feel when you think about the memories?”

  “Feel?” she looked at him in surprise. “I…I feel … I don’t know how I feel except confused. What are those memories?”

  West stood and went to her, taking hold of her upper arms with a firm grip. “They’re your life, Roxy. Before you were shot, before the embolism.”

  “But—but that can’t be,” she argued. “I can remember my life and those things didn’t happen.”

  “Your mind got – scrambled. Memories got twisted up, some were lost. Your mind filled in the blanks with things that made sense.”