Both Sides Now

by Shawn Inmon

A few months later, Shawn called me and said “So, what do you have planned for Valentine’s Day?”

  Planning things is much more up his alley than mine, so I said, “As usual, I’ve got nothin’.”

  “Check with the boss and see if you can get it off, OK? I’ve got plans for the both of us.”

  Valentine’s Day fell on a weekend that year, and weekends were always the toughest to get off, but I begged and traded shifts until I was off on February 13th and 14th.

  A few weeks before that, Shawn was down at my place in Centralia. I was cleaning up the dishes from supper and Shawn was on the computer in the living room.

  “Hey, baby, can you come here for a second?”

  I grabbed a dish towel and went to see what he wanted. He had a Craigslist ad up, with a picture of a gorgeous white gold diamond ring.

  “I’m just starting to think about a ring for you, but I don’t know what you like. What do you think about this one?”

  When he had asked me to marry him at Doss Cemetery, it had been completely spontaneous and unrehearsed, so he didn’t have a ring to give me. I asked him if he still had the little gold rings he bought in 1978, but he said he thrown those out of his car window on I-5 when I wouldn’t talk to him on my eighteenth birthday.

  When I looked at the picture of the ring I immediately fell in love with it. It was elegant and so beautiful, with dozens of tiny diamonds around the band and an ideal-cut diamond that was almost a full carat. It was everything I ever wanted or hoped for in a ring. Then I snuck a look at the price and knew that it was way outside the price range of what he could afford.

  “It’s beautiful. It really is. But that’s more ring than I need.”

  “Oh, I know. I’m not intending to buy that particular ring. I just wanted to see if you liked that style or not.”

  “Yes. I can definitely say I like that style.”

  A few days later, he told me that he had actually called the seller on that ring but that it had already been sold. I wasn’t heartbroken, since I knew it was out of our price range anyway.

  Valentine’s Day weekend had very typical Seattle February weather. There was complete cloud cover, and it was cold but not freezing, with occasional spitting rain and blustery. Shawn had gotten us reservations in downtown Seattle again, this time at the Grand Hyatt. He said he was taking me somewhere nice for dinner that Saturday night, so we had gone to the mall and found a new dress for me and a new suit for him.

  I waited in the lobby while he got us checked in, and when he came back from the front desk, he had a little smile on his face that I had grown to recognize.

  “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing at all.” I knew it was a lie, though I was probably going to forgive him for it. “Are you ready to go up to our room?”

  We stepped into the elevator and heard an easy-listening version of Stairway to Heaven. “That kind of kills me,” Shawn said, “but in a way it’s another full-circle moment.”

  Up on the 27th floor, he used the electronic key to open the door. When I walked in, I was pretty sure we were in the wrong room. It was a suite with a sitting area and kitchenette, a full master suite with a huge marble bathroom. It was bigger than the little duplex I shared with Dani and Yael in Chehalis.

  I looked at Shawn, wondering if he had robbed a bank the day before to finance this, but he just shrugged and smiled.

  “Never question a miracle, that’s what I always say.”

  “Oh, is that what you always say? I’ve never heard you say that before.”

  “What do you mean? You just did.”

  He opened the curtains. We were high up enough to have an incredible view looking out at the Space Needle.

  “Hurry, though,” he said. “We’ve got people to do and places to see, or something like that.”

  “I’ll hurry if you’ll tell me where we’re going.”

  “If you don’t hurry, we won’t be going anywhere, because we’ll be late.”

  Sometimes I felt like I was hanging out with the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. I hurried though, because I wanted to see where we were going next. Shawn said not to get dressed up yet, but just to dress warm.

  A few minutes later we were back in the car, headed south from downtown. Soon we pulled alongside Boeing Field, well south of the urban core. I really, truly had no idea where we were going. Shawn stopped the car in front of a building that said ‘Seattle Helitours.’

  “OK, OK, it might not be my best idea. I know you’re a little scared of heights. But still, I thought it would be cool. Not to mention, I got a Groupon for it. How could I resist?”

  The helicopter ride turned out to be awesome and not scary at all. The pilot was a great guide, showing us all around the city and even hovering at eye level with all the tourists on the observation deck of the Space Needle. Shawn had lived in a bunch of different places around Seattle over the years, so he kept pointing to a group of buildings and saying “I lived there, and there.” I kept nodding like I could really tell which ones he was talking about.

  When we got our feet back on solid ground, we headed back to our suite and got changed for dinner. Since it was a Saturday night and the night before Valentine’s Day, I knew it was going to be crowded wherever we went.

  We got dressed in our new clothes and rode the elevator down to the lobby, but instead of going outside, we went through a little entrance into the Ruth’s Chris Steak House that was attached to the Grand Hyatt. The place was beyond crowded. Every table was full and the waiting area was overflowing with people clear out onto the street. Shawn went to the maître d’ station, and thirty seconds later we were on our way to our table. I don’t know how he does those things.

  I had never been to Ruth’s Chris before, but Shawn just told me I was about to get the best steak of my life. We both ordered the petit filet mignon and I had to admit he was right. After we split a piece of cheesecake for dessert, I sat back in my seat and sighed. It had been a wonderful, but very long day, and I was exhausted.

  Shawn stood up from the table and I thought he was heading for the bathroom, but he dropped down on one knee right in the middle of the aisle. All the tired left me. I was on full alert. There had been the constant noise of conversations and people bustling all around us, but when everyone saw Shawn get down on one knee, it got very quiet. I saw people pointing at us and whispering.

  “Dawn Adele, for the third and final time, I want to ask you: will you marry me?”

  He produced a small white box and opened it to reveal the exact ring he had shown me on the computer weeks earlier.

  “Why do you keep asking me this? I already told you ‘yes!’ And I thought you said those rings were sold!”

  “I did, and they were. They were sold to me.” He’s full of surprises. Always has been. Will be forever.

  Shawn slipped the rings on my finger. There were four men sitting right behind us on their own Valentine’s Day date, and they all stood and applauded. Soon, people all around us were clapping and cheering.

  One of the men who had started the cheering said, “Show us how you did!” so I lifted my hand up and showed off the ring to more applause.

  Shawn got up off his knee and kissed me. When he sat down, I held the rings out so that they caught the light of the candle on the table. I couldn’t ever have hoped for a more perfect ring.

  “I hope that’s the last time I have to do that, because these old knees aren’t what they used to be.”

  Happily, that was indeed the last time he had to get down on one knee. This one took.

  At Last

  The rest of 2010 was so busy that there were times I wouldn’t have been surprised to pass myself going the other way on the freeway. Even so, life was better than I could ever remember.

  In late May, Shawn and I got away for a few days and drove down to Monterrey, California. Other than our little one-night trips into Seattle, it was our first vacation together. I’ve heard people say that if you want to know someon
e, go on a long car trip with them. If that’s the case, then we are in for a happy life together. We listened to audio books and music and stopped at every roadside attraction that grabbed our attention. We didn’t make the greatest time in the world, but we had so much fun.

  We needed the break, because the rest of the summer was incredibly hectic. After six years of not speaking a single word to him, I finally worked up the nerve to approach Rick about getting a divorce. I had hoped that after so many years of non-communication, feelings would have cooled and getting the divorce would be easy. I sent Rick an email telling him I was finally ready to file for the divorce and that I didn’t want anything other than the dissolution. I didn’t hear anything for the longest time, and when I did, I was shocked.

  Rick sent an email back lamenting the divorce and saying he had always believed we would get back together someday. This, despite the fact that we hadn’t spoken in six years and that our marriage itself had been a failure in every way a marriage can be, aside from producing our two beautiful daughters.

  Eventually I just hired a lawyer and instructed him that as long as we got the divorce finalized as quickly as possible, we would give up any other consideration I might be entitled to. Shawn’s divorce was finalized in April, and everything was falling into place for our wedding.

  Everything but money, of course. When we put our guest list together, we found we couldn’t cut it down to fewer than 150 people. Our wedding budget was more suited to a guest list of about twelve. Shawn has a knack for finding bargains, though, and every time something new came up, we put our heads together and figured a way to make it happen the way we wanted.

  As if handling all our legal affairs and planning a wedding wasn’t enough, somewhere along the line Shawn and Jerry Weible got together and started planning a KISS II reunion. Because Mossyrock High School was so small, they didn’t always have individual class reunions and instead just had an ‘All School Reunion’ every five years, including 2010. One of the planners contacted Shawn and asked him if they wanted to put on the old costumes and makeup and make a special appearance at one of the parties. Because it was Jerry and Shawn, that little ‘special appearance’ had somehow ballooned into them doing four entire concerts on the Friday and Saturday of the reunion. Oh, and they wanted to do it at the G Theater, which had been closed for many years and would require renovations before it could be used again.

  When Shawn first started talking about it with Jerry, I was all for it. I thought I could get some pictures that I could use as blackmail material for years to come. I had seriously underestimated Shawn’s ability to be embarrassed by things that would kill a normal person. I knew I had miscalculated when Shawn started posting their practice pictures on his own Facebook page.

  The reunion and first KISS II concert in thirty-two years were scheduled for July 30th in Mossyrock. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised when I got my court date for my final divorce hearing with Rick, also on July 30th. Oh, and after seven years of working there, I had given my notice at ACS and my last day was… July 30th. I was pretty sure that if I survived that day, then no stress would ever kill me.

  In the end, it wasn’t all that bad. My divorce hearing went off without a hitch. Walking out of that courtroom, I felt a burden lift off my shoulders that had been there so long that I had come to accept it as part of myself. My last day at work at ACS was emotional but not bad.

  When things were at the very worst in my life, the people I worked with at ACS had become my family. They looked out for me, supported me, and told me things were going to get better. Now things had. I loved so many of them, but I was going to move to Enumclaw after the wedding and it didn’t make any sense to drive all that way every day. Still, I was going to miss them.

  And the KISS II concert? What is there to say about four people—some of them in middle age—wearing spandex costumes, platform shoes, full-face makeup and lip-syncing to thirty-year-old songs? I didn’t know if anyone would actually show up, but they did, and it was a blast. Just like the old days, some of the old people walked out, complaining the whole thing was “too damn loud!” Shawn and Jerry wouldn’t have had it any other way.

  With all of our legal issues behind us and the concerts out of the way, I was finally able to focus on getting ready for the wedding. Because our guests would be coming from Mossyrock, Centralia/Chehalis, Enumclaw, and all around the region, we had chosen the most central venue we could manage: Heritage Hall on the Thurston County Fairgrounds in Olympia. It was a cool old building that looked like a log cabin. Since our theme was going to be ‘Fall,’ that would fit right in.

  We checked out some caterers to see what it would cost to cater a decent dinner for 150 people. We learned that this would have consumed the entire wedding budget. Shawn said not to worry. He had been a short-order cook when he was a kid, and he was sure that he and a few volunteers could feed everyone for just a few hundred dollars. He’s a madman, but a very resourceful madman.

  Shawn and I bought most all of the decorations by driving around to dollar stores and using our imagination, but we were still missing a lot of things. Then our friend Sherry Blakely from high school offered to help. She got in touch with us and said that she planned a lot of weddings, and that as her wedding gift to us, she would provide a lot of the decorations needed to make everything look perfect.

  I chose Connie to be my Maid of Honor. Dani, my best friend Sheilah, and Shawn’s youngest daughter Sabrina would be my Bridesmaids. Shawn picked his daughter Samy to be his ”Best Man”. Yes, he was aware that his daughter was not really a man, but Shawn has never been one to be ruled by tradition. He chose Jerry Weible, Dani’s boyfriend Daniel, and Connie’s boyfriend Jamie to be his Groomsmen. Yael and Samy’s daughter Millie would be our ring bearer and flower girl.

  Every time some new expense popped up, like the wedding cake or the flowers for the ceremony, I would call Shawn and he would say, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.” I don’t know if “we” figured it out, or if our friends just all felt sorry for us, but every time, we somehow managed to find a solution.

  On the night of the rehearsal dinner, everything we had been planning for a year seemed to come together. I admit, ‘rehearsal dinner’ might be kind of an overstatement. We asked as many people as we could think of to show up and help us schlep tables and chairs and decorations around, and we ordered pizza, pop and beer. Jessica Coen, one of my best friends from ACS, took charge of getting everything organized. She even volunteered her husband Josh to be our wedding DJ. It took us a few tries to get the tables laid out right, but by the end of the night, everything looked like it was ready for a wedding.

  The next day, Shawn got to the hall early and started cooking. Jeff Hunter, another friend from high school and the Stage Manager for KISS II, showed up early and pitched in. Shawn told me that he had so much help in the kitchen that he was able to escape for a few minutes and write his vows for the ceremony. I had to laugh a little at that, since Shawn says I am the one who puts things off, and I had prepared my vows months ago.

  Finally all the preparations were done; the tables were full of people we loved, and I could relax at least a little and enjoy the ceremony that I had been planning for a year and awaiting for a lifetime.

  I had been hoping that my big brother Brian would make it up from California so that he could walk me down the aisle and give me away, but he couldn’t make it. Instead, I asked Jerry if he would do it. All those years ago, I had two ‘big brothers’ at Mossyrock High School. Now I was marrying one of them, and the other one was giving me away.

  Since the middle of October can be stormy in Western Washington, we got very lucky with the weather. There were patches of blue sky. It was actually warm enough outside that some people were complaining it was hot inside the hall. Since we had been worrying about what would happen if we had an early snowfall, that was a good problem to have.

  Naturally, Shawn had spent months picking out the music for the ceremony
. He said the hard part wasn’t so much picking out what songs to play, but which to leave out. He compromised a little by making a special playlist that Josh played while people were being seated and waiting for the ceremony to start.

  We had asked Jerry and Lynn Weible’s daughters Brittany and Morrigan to be our candle-lighters, and they walked in while Into My Arms by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds was playing. That wasn’t one of our songs, but Shawn said that in the years we were separated it had made him think of me almost more than any other song. I had picked Red Like a Rose by Alan Jackson for Connie and the bridesmaids to walk in to. Then Samy and the groomsmen entered to Don Mclean’s And I Love You So. Did I mention that Shawn is a little bit of a romantic?

  When the whole wedding party except for Jerry and I were in place, there were a few seconds of silence, then Josh played the Etta James song At Last. I stood at the entrance to the hall, looking at so many people who had traveled from far and wide to celebrate with us. I looked to my left and saw all my friends from ACS who had gotten me through so many hard times. Standing at the front, waiting to officiate, was Sheilah’s husband Darren. They had given me shelter when the storms in my life were at their very worst and I would love them both forever. There were also four daughters standing there now, where there had only been two before.

  And most of all, there was Shawn. When I looked at him, I saw the same skinny, curly-headed boy I had first met thirty-four years before, wearing the same crooked smile as always. I felt all the stress and pressure of the wedding fade away as I focused on him. Even when I blamed him for everything bad in my life, I was never able to forget about him. Now, knowing the truth about everything—and knowing I was going to spend the rest of my life with him—was the best feeling I had ever known.

  Jerry and I walked slowly down the aisle. Everywhere I looked I saw smiles and tears, often at the same time. I felt my throat thicken as well, but I had spent way too much time on my makeup to cry now. When we reached the front of the hall, Jerry unhooked my arm and put my hand in Shawn’s. It was a good thing he wasn’t wearing makeup, because there were tears on his face already.