Impossible Desires (novella)

by Tamsin Baker

  Eleanor watched him walk to the door before she called out.

  “And don’t forget what I said. You may not touch yourself until I tell you that you can.”

  Gareth’s face fell so quickly it was almost comical. He opened his mouth to say something, then slammed it shut once he thought better of it.

  Eleanor curtsied to her lord of the realm and he bowed in return, before he turned on his heel and walked out her front door.

  Chapter 5

  Gareth awoke the following morning with an erection poking up into his heavy blankets. He was almost certain that if he even moved, he would come instantly. He had experienced the most arousing dream. Eleanor had bent him over a chair and tied his wrists to his ankles. Then she had spanked him until he could bear it no longer, followed by her sucking him until he had exploded into her mouth.

  He had awoken shocked by his own imagination. Gareth had to admit that he really did find her need for power in the bedroom arousing. Yesterday, he had mostly agreed to be her submissive out of respect for her past injuries. He hadn’t realized just how much his body wanted to play the role.

  He rolled out of bed, and groaned. His bollocks were throbbing. He was so primed it would take only a couple of pulls to shoot his seed.

  Something stopped him. Eleanor would know, somehow she would know. And he didn’t want to find out what punishment lay in store for him. What if she decided to give up on him because he couldn’t obey one simple rule?

  Gareth walked stiffly over to the washbasin and grabbed the cloth. He plunged it into the cold water and rubbed it over his armpits and genitals.

  He hissed at the cold and the touch that had him almost groaning in release.

  Gareth took a few deep breaths and began to count in Latin. He concentrated on each number, the sound of it and the way it was spelt.

  He pulled the cord for his valet and smiled in triumph when his erection went slowly down. His Mistress would be very happy with him.

  *****

  Gareth smiled as he almost danced up the steps to Eleanor’s front door. If they married, would she sell this townhouse? Was it hers to sell? Perhaps letting it out would be better.

  Gareth stopped himself in mid thought. Was he considering marriage to her already?

  He couldn’t fool himself. Of course he was. Eleanor was beautiful – a gently bred lady, and he hoped everything he wanted in a bedfellow. All the things he had never thought to find in one person.

  Gareth reached for the knocker and was surprised again when the door swung open.

  Instead of the young butler, Eleanor was there in front of him.

  “Ready?” she asked, looking him up and down.

  Gareth smiled in greeting and nodded his head. God, she’s beautiful. He had yet to see her totally naked, but she had the most beautifully feminine body. Full breasts, a small waist and round hips. Even her rounded arse was tempting him today. He was incredibly randy.

  Eleanor walked past him and went straight down the stairs. A footman stood nearby to help her into a large closed carriage.

  “I thought we could go riding at a small country house I have. It’s only an hour’s drive from here.”

  Gareth smiled in delight. Very few people surprised him, but she had managed to do it again. She hadn’t been joking when she said she wanted to know if he could ride.

  “Of course, my lady.” He bowed from the top step.

  Eleanor laughed and climbed into the carriage. Gareth raced back down the stairs, followed her in, and shut the door.

  Once inside he had a proper look at her. She was wearing a riding habit of the finest materials – it would cost a fortune to outfit her properly. He smiled secretly. Lucky he had a fortune.

  “Have you touched yourself since I saw you last?”

  Gareth started at the question but recovered quickly and began to open the placket on his pants.

  “I need to desperately. My bollocks are so huge and sore I don’t know how I will sit a horse, so no. I have not.”

  Eleanor’s eyes swung to where his cock protruded from the opening he had created.

  She licked her lips and looked up at him.

  Gareth felt himself swell to a complete erection. Would she make him wait longer?

  “That’s my good boy,” she purred, reaching out to wrap her hand around him. “You wouldn’t lie to me to escape punishment would you?”

  Gareth laughed and groaned, throwing his head back against the velvet covered cushioning.

  “You will see for yourself when I come in mere moments.”

  Just as suddenly as she had grabbed him, she released him.

  “You may not come yet.”

  “Eleanor, be fair, please!” Gareth begged, his hands clenching on either side of the plush seat in an effort not to touch himself.

  “I am not Eleanor at the moment.”

  Gareth swallowed when he heard her voice change. Nothing aroused him more than her Mistress voice.

  “Please, Mistress,” he pleaded, not caring that he was begging. “I need to come.”

  Mistress looked him over and licked her lips again.

  “You have been good, so you deserve a reward. You have to the count of five to come, otherwise I won’t believe you have abstained.”

  Gareth’s brain took a second to take in what she had said, so he lost valuable time.

  “One,” she began and Gareth grabbed at his cock with his own hand.

  “Two.” Gareth flicked his wrist, threw his head back and groaned.

  “Three.” A handkerchief was thrown over his cock as he pumped it to bliss.

  Gareth wrapped it around the head and groaned loudly.

  “Four,” he heard his Mistress say as his seed flooded out of him. He jerked and groaned, unable to believe the intensity of it.

  How could abstaining for a single night make his head explode? Never had he enjoyed an orgasm so much. With her, everything just seemed to be better, every feeling enhanced.

  “Well done.” Eleanor smiled, tossing the soiled handkerchief away and lowering her head to his lap.

  Gareth groaned as her tongue flicked out over the head and into the slit, licking away the last traces of his come. His back arched with pleasure. Was she trying to make him hard again?

  Too soon Eleanor sat back up.

  “You taste spectacular.”

  She licked her lips and closed her eyes, obviously enjoying the taste of his seed.

  Gareth swallowed against the emotions swamping him. How could one woman be everything he had ever wanted? So beautiful and refined, yet so wanton.

  Impossible.

  “Are we far from your country house, Eleanor?” Gareth asked, knowing that she had dropped back into Lady Rossette again. He had no idea how much time had passed since they began driving.

  “We will arrive soon enough, Gareth. Tell me about your family home. It’s in Upton Square, I believe?”

  Gareth smiled in surprise. She seemed to know everything about him.

  “Yes, it is.”

  For the rest of the hour, they passed their time in companionable conversation. Gareth couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so comfortable with another person. To have that with a woman who had openly admitted she wanted to marry him was, well, amazing.

  They pulled up and he looked out the window. A huge tree obscured Gareth’s view.

  “Where is the house, Eleanor?”

  She laughed and pulled at his jacket. “The other side Gareth.”

  Gareth slid over to the opposite window and looked at a quaint little cottage before him. But something drew him back to the other window.

  “It’s beautiful, but what’s behind that tree?”

  Eleanor smiled a secret smile.

  “That’s the old groundkeeper’s house. I recently had it refurbished.”

  Gareth felt his body begin to stir. His imagination was beginning to run away with him.

  “What for, Eleanor?”

  Smiling her M
istress smile, she held out her hand.

  “Help me out of the carriage and if you are good, I may show you later.”

  Gareth opened the door and jumped out of the carriage so fast that Eleanor laughed.

  God, that sound made him happy.

  They were both dressed in their riding costumes already so Gareth asked the obvious question.

  “Shall we go straight to the stables, my lady?”

  Eleanor smiled in agreement and turned to address the footmen.

  “Please take my bags inside and prepare lunch for us, ready to be served in an hour. We will have returned then.”

  Turning back to him, she squeezed his arm gently.

  “The stables are just behind the house.”

  Gareth began walking in the direction she pointed and held onto her tighter. How could he feel such a need to protect her and yield to her at the same time?

  “I have the most magnificent horse for you, Gareth.”

  “For me?” Gareth asked, surprised.

  “Yes. If you like him, we shall see if we can buy him. He is on loan from a neighbor.”

  Eleanor winked at him and pulled her hand from his arm. She walked over to the stalls and pushed open the doors.

  Gareth stopped walking, overwhelmed by her thoughtful gesture. How long had she planned this? Did he really want to know? Shaking his head, Gareth decided he didn’t.

  A powerful whinny sounded from the end of the stables and the hairs on his arm prickled up. It had been too long since he had ridden a horse faster than a walk. His mother’s illness kept him in London most of the time.

  Excitement like he had known only as a young child crept into Gareth’s belly. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been given a gift.

  Eleanor stood in front of the last stall, stroking the nose of a huge bay stallion.

  “Gareth, meet Apollo.”

  Unable to resist, he reached out and the stallion forcefully pushed his nose into Gareth’s hand. He instantly fell in love.

  “I’m going to see to my mare. You two get acquainted and then lead him out.”

  Gareth nodded but couldn’t take his eyes off the horse in front of him. He was magnificent. The color of the sun, he was as strong and powerful as the Greek God he had been named after.

  He rubbed Apollo’s nose and neck, opened the door and led the horse out by his reins. He had already been saddled.

  Gareth walked the horse further out of the stables, laughing when Apollo threw back his head to nicker his happiness.

  Gareth put his foot in the stirrup and threw his leg over the saddle.

  Apollo shifted beneath him. Heart pumping and excitement surging in his blood, Gareth squeezed his legs to coax him to walk.

  The horse immediately surged forward.

  “You like him?” Eleanor laughed as she emerged from another entrance.

  “I think I’m in love,” Gareth admitted, looking straight into Eleanor’s green eyes.

  Realizing his error, he lowered his head and stroked Apollo’s neck

  “With the horse.”

  Eleanor smiled but didn’t say anything. Gareth swallowed and took a deep breath. He really should think before he opened his mouth.

  “My mare is newly pregnant so I can’t ride her too hard, but Apollo needs the exercise. His owner informs me that hard and long is best.”

  Gareth quirked an eyebrow. Was she trying to arouse him again?

  “Let’s go then.”

  Gareth kicked Apollo into a canter and almost heard the animal complain about the pace. He wanted to run.

  Gareth looked over his shoulder at Eleanor and smiled. “I’m going to let him loose.”

  She nodded and pointed in a direction to their left. “Go that way. There is only one fence and he can clear it easily.”

  Gareth nodded, her faith and trust in him a wonderful feeling. He dug his heels into Apollo’s side and the massive horse took off like a shot. He had an impressive style so Gareth just held on and didn’t try to control him. Heart thumping in time with the horses hooves, he let out a yell of pure exhilaration.

  The warm body moved beneath him effortlessly, Gareth spotting the low fence only moments before Apollo sailed over it. He laughed and patted the animal’s sweaty neck. What a magnificent animal.

  He rode until they had reached what Gareth assumed was the edge of Eleanor’s property. There was a tall fence barring entry into crop-laden fields.

  “Good boy,” Gareth soothed, turning the horse’s head so that the big body was now facing the way they came.

  “Let’s go find my Mistress.”

  Gareth gripped with his knees and the horse took off again. The return ride wasn’t quite as fast, but Apollo managed the whole journey at an outright gallop.

  When Gareth spotted Eleanor riding the brown mare, the emotion that filled his heart was a novel one. One he had never experienced before.

  Unwilling to examine it, he jumped down off the horse and ran over to her. Gareth reached up and grabbed her about the waist, pulling her down to him. His lips were on hers before she could complain about him taking over.

  “I need you so much,” Gareth panted, tearing his lips from hers to pull at the buttons on her riding habit.

  Eleanor grabbed his hands to still his fingers and made soothing noises to quiet him.

  “We will eat lunch and then I will show you my new playroom.”

  Gareth didn’t want to wait – he wanted her now.

  “Mistress, please, I…”

  Eleanor grabbed his hand and began to pull him back towards the main house.

  “I promise the wait will be worthwhile. Tell me, did you like Apollo? Am I buying him off my neighbor?”

  Gareth almost stopped in his tracks. He hadn’t believed her serious before.

  “I loved riding that amazing horse but you can’t buy him, Eleanor. Not for me.”

  Eleanor waved her hand. “It’s done.”

  Bowing to the butler, he continued to follow the woman who was quickly wrapping him around her tiny, elegant finger.

  He took the seat she indicated, quickly noting the beautiful china and silverware.

  “Eleanor, you can’t, I mean…It has only been a few days.”

  Anxiety spiked within in. Gareth knew that he had agreed to a month with her, but he was feeling the hangman’s noose being slowly wrapped around his neck. He was suffocating.

  “Gareth, stop panicking. Apollo sired my mare’s foal. I have wanted him for a long time. You are just a good excuse for me to get him.”

  Well, that made him feel better, though their uncommitted status gave him pause.

  “If we don’t continue to spend time together though…who will ride him?”

  Eleanor’s generous mouth thinned as she pressed her lips into a tight line, then looked away from him.

  The anger slammed through Gareth so quickly that he could barely control the urge to throw something. He looked down to see his knife griped tightly in his right fist. Over his dead body would another man ride Apollo – or for that matter, Eleanor – ever again!

  His breathing was becoming more erratic and he was beginning to wonder if he would actually faint. Panic set in.

  Eleanor stared at the man in front or her on the verge of a full-blown nervous attack. His breathing was too fast and he was beginning to pale before her very eyes. She had meant what her actions had implied – she would keep the horse no matter what. If that meant her new husband got to ride them both, then that was how it was going to be. At seven and twenty, Eleanor was not willing to waste time.

  Standing up quickly, she nodded to the footman who left immediately. Eleanor walked around the table and stood behind Gareth. Deciding that he didn’t need to be coddled, she grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. It landed against the back of the chair with a thump.

  “Listen closely,” Eleanor purred into his ear, subconsciously slipping into her Mistress persona. “You are my first choice. However, if you cho
ose not to take what I have to offer, I will offer it to someone who will. You have no reason, or indeed any right, to get upset over something and someone who does not exist. Do you understand?”

  Eleanor could hear the struggle Gareth was having with his breathing. He was almost gasping now.

  “I demand that you settle, now.”

  Eleanor held her breath and tugged on Gareth’s hair harder. He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. The next breath seemed easier, and the next. She felt the tension slowly leave his body and watched as he slumped in the chair.

  Releasing his beautiful, thick hair reluctantly, Eleanor walked back around the table and poured herself a glass of wine.

  “Wine?” she asked, handing him a glass before Gareth could even nod.

  He was almost back to his old self now. The guilt and embarrassment stealing across his face however would not do.

  “What did you think of the house when we first arrived? I have been thinking of having the gardens redone or changed. I’m tired of the entrance.”

  Eleanor looked up and saw that her distraction technique was not going to work. Gareth was a true English gentleman – he would not let that one go.

  “Eleanor, please, let me apologize—”

  She held up a hand, stopping him in mid sentence. “Why, Gareth? For being a real man? For being upset over the idea of another man taking me to his bed? I hope that thought throws you into a state of pure despair, because I can tell you the idea of you putting that beautiful cock of yours anywhere near someone else…” Eleanor growled now. Clenching her fists and screwing up her face.

  Gareth just stared at her. Then he chucked, low and appreciative.

  Eleanor smiled.

  “Thank you, Mistress.”

  Before Eleanor could correct him for using her bedroom name in the dining room the servants brought in lunch. Looking at the twinkle in his eye however, she knew how much he was looking forward to being punished.

  Chapter 6

  The moment lunch was finished, they both jumped to their feet.

  “The playroom?” Gareth asked, breathless in his excitement. He was so aroused, so excited, so petrified that he could barely fathom his eagerness to go there as quickly as he could.

  “Yes,” Eleanor smiled, her voice dropping half an octave.