No Time to Cry (Nine While Nine Legacy Book 1)

by Stasia Morineaux

  I hoped to stop by the chocolate shop before heading home.

  I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging myself, trying to smother the butterflies that were holding a cotillion in my tummy. I was rooted in place solidly from fear and apprehension.

  I glanced around the main level of the market, I’d been to Pike Place a few times before, and I’d never missed the chance to shop here when I’d visited. I would always hit up that chocolate shop, and stock up on incense and herbs too.

  There was a comic store also—yes I buy comics…Buffy’s my favorite…shut up—and quite a few nice places for antiques and knick-knacks as well. Don’t even get me started on the awesome food spots in and around the market.

  The upper street level, where I was currently waiting, contained fishmongers, fresh produce stands, and craft stalls operating in the covered passages.

  I was hoping when we were done I could stop in at one of the used book stores to pick up a few reads, to go with that chocolate…

  Outside we had passed what Liam had referred to as the early-rising buskers, street performers set up along the front of the market. One had been playing acoustic guitar. Off to his left had been a few college-aged kids putting on something of a play, or so it seemed. They’d had life-sized puppets, so I’m not really sure.

  Liam returned finally…okay, it was maybe fifteen minutes later, but it felt like an hour had dragged by.

  I wasn’t feeling very well. He had a paper sack tucked under one arm and was holding two large—very large—Starbuck’s cups in his hands. Thank you sir! I could really use a coffee. He handed me one of the cups, and then handed me the bag, inside was a very much needed cranberry scone.

  “Thanks.” I smiled tentatively. “Is it maybe okay if we move down to the flower market instead of here…all the dead fish staring at me are giving me the heebie jeebies.” He looked at me like I was nuts, and shot a half grin at me.

  “Dead fish are giving you the heebie jeebies?” He shook his head.

  Yes, the irony didn’t fall short of me. Fish were nothing compared to watching a human life fade from human eyes, which I’d be experiencing for the very first time, very soon, but that did not change the fact that fish eyes were freaking me out!

  The new spot at the flower market was much more to my liking…and smelled much better too.

  “So, Iliana…” Liam began.

  I knew what was coming. It was in his tone of voice, and on his face. Why wasn’t Halah already here so we could forego this until later? I had enough on my mind without rehashing last night.

  “Liam.” I stopped him with my hand upraised. “There’s nothing left to say. I made a mistake last night. I got caught up in the music, had too much to drink. I know what I feel, how you feel about it. That nothing will ever be between us. Let’s just pretend it never happened. In fact, I think…I really do think it might be best if we don’t hang out. If we don’t spend any time together unless we absolutely have to for culling. No coffees, no surprise meet-ups, nothing. You were right, I’m just…I’ve just been transferring my messed up feelings onto you, glomming on to you for comfort, like you could fix it, as if being with you could fix it all. It’s not real, they’re just misplaced emotions. It won’t happen again.”

  There. That should do it. I didn’t need Liam. Right? So, why did my chest and throat feel so tight now, like they were being brutally constricted?

  Like I was going to cry?

  I drank from my coffee…the coffee he’d so kindly bought me…and kept my eyes cast down.

  When he spoke his voice was cold, remote. “There’s Halah.”

  I looked up, to where his eyes were aimed. Halah was perusing the fish market where we had just been. I watched as she first pointed out some crab legs to the vendor, and then…was that squid?

  The young man was laughing at something she had said as he wrapped her purchase. She waved to him and left the stand, heading towards the stairs that lead downstairs to the lower arcade.

  “Where’s she going?” The butterflies were starting to feel like hummingbirds.

  “Come on.” Liam stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and led the way, staying behind her a few paces. I felt like I was going to be sick.

  “So where is the—”

  He cut me off with an upheld hand to hush me.

  He paused at a fruit stand and looked over the apples. I was spying on all the patrons, wondering which one it would be. My anxiety cranked up a few notches. They all looked so nice. And probably were here to buy ingredients for dinner or a present for a loved one, or a souvenir because they were on vacation. Oh my gods…this sucked! What a crap job!

  Liam looked at me, shook his head. Did he see the panic in my face, my eyes? “Let’s go.”

  I followed, still looking around me. Halah was making her way down the stairs. I frowned. What was that? The fish vender must not have sealed up the squid well enough. I could see a tube, or was it called tentacle…whatever…it was hanging out. Oops, there went one. Splat! Right onto the steps. Gross. Another one oozed free of its packaging, this one a couple of steps below the other. Then I watched as a third fell a bit further down. Halah, unaware, just kept walking, leaving her dinner behind on the stairs.

  I almost called out to her, but Liam jogged me in the side with his elbow and drew my attention to a group of jovial friends gathered near the sign pointing to the lower level. He watched them casually with sideways glances, waiting a few beats before tugging me along after him. This was it. This was it? I surveyed the group as they grew nearer the steps.

  Liam picked up his pace. “Watch what I do. Do what I do.” He whispered in my ear, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him, to the stairs.

  I was dazed. Holy crow…this was it. He was going to cull. I felt like calling out to warn them. Liam must have sensed it. He put a hand on my arm and shot me a warning glance full of ice as he jostled up against one of them. I had barely had time to notice there was a faint bluish-black haze of sorts about the targeted girl, before he spoke a word I didn’t understand…and the haze dissipated.

  Then he was nodding at me, at the guy that was nearest to me. I think I was beginning to hyperventilate. The stairs were growing nearer. Time was growing shorter. And it dawned on me that Halah’s escaped seafood was no accident. It was going to become an accident though. Someone was going to die because they lose their footing on calamari?

  Liam gave me an urgent look and a shove. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t. I implored him with my eyes, with my heart, not to make me do this. I couldn’t be this person. Gideon had said I would watch Liam and then cull on my own, but I thought he had meant two separate events. “Now,” He hissed under his breath. I could only shake my head again. He growled and then ran his hand along the guy’s arm, saying something I didn’t understand, partly because he spoke so softly, and in part because it was not English. He halted us abruptly and let them go on.

  Liam held me steady, his hands like vise grips on my shoulders as we stood near the top of the stairway. I had no choice other than to watch as the happy group began their descent down the now squid littered steps. First the boy, then the girl—so busy joking around and having a good time that they never looked carefully at the ground— placed a foot on the slick sea creature bits and took their tumbles down the hard flight of steps, taking their three friends in front of them down with them in quick succession.

  I could actually hear the crack of one of their skulls and the crunch of another’s neck. The other three made it down the flight with just some scrapes and nasty bruises, maybe a twisted ankle.

  Those two people were dying right in front of my eyes.

  Someone screamed.

  I watched helplessly as a girl below scrambled over to her friend who was just barely conscious, tangled in a heap on the bottom step.

  I felt tears running down my face, watched as her eyes fluttered closed and she died. She was maybe only nineteen or twenty. What kind of hell was this? To have thi
s be my new life. To watch as grief ripped through these people. I stared at Liam. As the crowd thickened, he lost us within it, pulling me away from the death scene. Out and into the cool, Seattle mist, tears still streaming.

  It took me a minute to notice that we were not alone and that Liam was not standing with me any longer.

  He was with the two injured persons. But they were supposed to be dead. How did they get out here? Maybe it was all okay. My heart lifted and I began to walk over.

  “Liam,” I called to him.

  He ignored me. So, he was mad, obviously, because I couldn’t do the cull.

  Well, Gideon should have been a little clearer about how it would happen.

  I could see now why Liam had responded in a voice filled with some measure of disgust when I had asked if he was a Reaper. Halah had not looked the least bit concerned with what she had been charged to do, had even been smiling as the iced over, slippery little bits had fallen to the ground, holding the promise of someone’s doom. Did she enjoy it? The killing?

  “Liam,” I called to him again. He was talking to the two ‘deceased’ people who actually looked pretty healthy. I watched as he pointed off into the distance, and the two turned to look at where he was indicating.

  Liam finally turned…and glared at me; the look on his face made me stagger backwards, and made my heart lurch painfully. I looked away, sat down on the nearest bench, and shed a fresh spill of tears.

  “Do you not remember what Gideon said about the Ingress?” A voice growled at me. It was Liam he was hovering over me where I had slumped to the bench.

  “He told me so much last night. He said my cull would be after yours. I didn’t think it would be two at the same time.” I defended myself. “I didn’t even have a chance to understand what was happening. It happened so fast.” I stood up and snarled back at him. “It was so horrible. Halah is horrible.”

  “You left your mhésen to suffer in a broken body and you have the nerve to say that of Halah?” He pulled me up roughly from the bench. “This isn’t play time, little girl. You left your cull to me. If I hadn’t done it that mhésen would have gone down the stairs with its body,” He spoke in a hushed tone, but nonetheless wrath filled. An unexpected tone from him. “It was simple enough. You watched what I did. It’s not a difficult task to perform.”

  “It is for me!” I yelled at him. I shoved him away from me. Hating him at that moment. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me.”

  “So you're going to run off again.” He scowled at me. A look near loathing on his face. Loathing…

  “Fuck you.” My voice hitched, as I tried to speak and keep in a sob at the same time. I turned and left. I was going to walk home. I wanted nothing to do with him, not this version of him.

  I walked away from him.

  And he let me.

  ~ Chapter Eighteen ~

  I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want to have to cull today. Dreaming about it all night, replaying those falls down the stairs over and over in my nightmares was bad enough.

  Was each day to be the same? Some new horror to be shown? To be a part of? I had, in my old life, heard of so many horrific ways to die, the movies had such fun with it anymore. I didn’t want to see any of them for real.

  I hugged my plush gator, Boudreaux, closer to me, burrowing my head deeper under the covers.

  Maybe I could just hide here all day. No one had come looking for me last night, to yell at me or threaten me. Maybe they got it, finally got it. That I didn’t fit in with them, this life.

  Maybe that was an even scarier thought than having to cull.

  I rolled over, reaching for my phone that rested on the nightstand, wondering what time it was.

  I fumbled around for a moment, knocking something to the floor with a light clatter—my bracelet—before succumbing to the awful idea that I’d have to open my eyes for help.

  And I nearly tumbled right off the far side of the bed as I scrambled backward quickly.

  Gideon was seated in the cute baroque chair that I’d placed on the other side of the nightstand, in the corner.

  I was too scared and shocked out of my wits to let loose the scream that was lodged securely in my throat.

  He stood, towered over me where I lay ungracefully sprawled out across my bed, sheets and blankets tangled around me. He reached down with amazingly deft speed and grabbed both of my arms, hauling me up to a sitting position before yanking me clear from the bed to stand before him.

  I’ve never been so glad that I liked to wear jammies—even if they were scant.

  His deepest-darkest steel blue eyes were embers, if that’s even possible. They were sparking with cold fire. They were the deepest midnight ablaze with star fire.

  Lustrous with pure anger. And it was aimed solely at me. I wanted to look away from it, but I was caught in its path and could not for anything pull away.

  Oh shit. I’d royally fucked up. I started to shiver. I had no control. The room was so chilled and growing more so very steadily.

  I’d never been so awake.

  He was terrifying.

  And beautiful.

  “You’ve really done it this time, Draghail.” His voice was so low, livid…dangerous.

  I wondered what that word meant…that last word he’d spit out at me with such vehemence. So Liam had obviously told him, of course he had. Lap dog. I’d have to learn that word in Gaelic. My feelings for Liam were, sadly, changing quite rapidly.

  “Why didn’t you do it?” He demanded.

  His hands were steel bands around my biceps, not allowing me to budge in the slightest. Being close to him this morning was nothing like it had been yesterday. All the gentleness and understanding had vanished. Disconcerting in a whole other way from yesterday when his hands on me had made me want to lean deeper into him.

  I could feel his energy. It sizzled under his skin. I could feel it racing along my skin, out and away from his hands. It seemed to crackle in the air around us, filling the room with him.

  So, would he be the one to do it, to end me? I could only surmise that was the reason for his visit. He’d said if I didn’t get my act together the Comhairle would come after me. Is that why he was here? And, by the way, how had he gotten in? Had he kept a key for himself? That was slightly disturbing. But more disturbing was the flicker of a thought that I kinda liked the idea of it.

  I wouldn’t let go of this life without a fight, not this time. I had not seen it coming the first time, Isabelle had not seen it coming her way, but Iliana had been warned.

  This was his fault.

  I pounded him with my fists, pummeling against his chest…his very incredibly firm and sculpted chest. He just stood there and took it. His eyes fixed on my face. He didn’t try to stop me, but oh the look on his face told me just how pissed off he was at me for this assault. He let me wail on him and didn’t hit me back. When my fisticuffs weakened he spoke again.

  “Answer me Iliana. Why didn’t you do your job? You left it to Liam. You left a mhésen in its body. Do you have any comprehension of what that could have done? Do you care?”

  “Why are you doing this? And NO I have no idea! Did you tell me the consequences? Did Liam? No! He only said, ‘do what I do…say what I say.’ Well, I didn’t understand any of it. You said my cull would be after his…not at the same time.”

  “And was it so difficult to simply lay your hand on someone’s arm and speak a single word?”

  “Yes!” I was amazed at his detachment. “Yes, it is that difficult. Halah was so…so blasé about setting up the disaster. It was all so far beyond horrifying. I had no idea it would be so…ghastly. They were so broken, so bloody and twisted.”

  “What did you think death would be like?” Tidy? No atrociousness whatsoever?”

  “Maybe?” I stumbled over the word. I hadn’t really thought over the exactness of what my cull’s ‘deaths’ would be like. Only that I had to do them, so I would. I’d been so wrapped up in what had befallen
me personally, the end of me, that I hadn’t put all that much thought into what the actual culling process would be like. What I might have to see and endure.

  I never thought about having to see or watch what happened to the people on my assignment. And all that ‘do-it-or-die’ stuff had been somewhat on the distracting side too.

  I said I’d do them because I didn’t want to die…again.

  “Mine didn’t hurt.” I said softly.

  “Why do you suppose that is?” He glared down at me. Not many men could do that, look down at me. He seemed taller than six-feet-five-inches today.

  I had no answer for him.

  “Because Liam did his job. He did it with expediency and care. You didn’t feel the poison because he performed his cull before it was ever in you.” His voice was like death.

  “When? I didn’t meet him until after…when I saw myself on the couch.”

  “Be assured he did. He’s quite proficient with his skills. You’re not meant to be aware of a Coimhdeacht.”

  Oh yes, he was quite proficient with his skills. A new wave of anger surged through me thinking of Liam’s talent last night and how easily he could switch off his charms and turn away when ordered to do so.

  “I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can be so cold…so indifferent. I can’t be like you…detached...dead inside.” I snapped. I would not have thought it possible, but his grip constricted around my arms even tighter and I grimaced.

  I’d most definitely be bruised. His glower turned seven shades of icy and deadly.

  When he spoke next, his voice was so deep and so close to a growl that it made me shake clear through. “So, you would prefer we left the mhésen in the bodies rather than release them? So that perhaps one may know what it feels like to have a steel rod shoot through their skull in an industrial accident? Or would you prefer one knows the glorious pain of having a car crushed in upon them when a semi on the highway loses control and strikes them head-on at seventy-five miles per hour…”