Pears and Perils

by Drew Hayes

  “The boy helped to free me and kept this one from joining our divine ranks. My debt to him outweighs any of our squabbles.”

  “Good.” He finished crossing the room and grabbed the pear from the altar. There was a tingle that surged up Clint’s fingers as they grasped the glowing fruit, a sensation akin to completing a circuit. Kodi hoped it wasn’t doing more damage, but at this point, he was pretty much out of options.

  “Nature! Hurry your ass up and get down here! My name is Kodiwandae, god of Kenowai, former prisoner of your own stupid machinations, and currently passenger in this mor- my friend, Clint. Now uphold our bargain and come set me FREE!”

  “No need to yell. I’ve been here since the scheming old man called.”

  Everyone turned to the back of the room where a new figure had appeared. No, that wasn’t quite right. It hadn’t simply appeared. It was telling the truth; now that they thought back, it had been there since Lawrence set down the pear. Somehow their brains had simply been unable to grasp what their eyes tried to tell them.

  It was a she, or at least it had chosen to look like one, a woman with hair that started off green, then turned yellow, then orange, and then brown before ceasing to be. Her skin was the color of chestnut and cherry blossoms, and if you think those are very different colors, then just imagine how confused the people looking at her felt. She was beautiful, but in the way one might admire a well-forged blade: aesthetics undeniably tinted with a sense of danger. Her simple brown dress dragged the floor, small plants rising whenever it trailed.

  Everyone felt reasonably comfortable assuming this was who Kodi had been trying to call.

  “Why didn’t you… never mind. I won’t like the answer and right now it doesn’t matter. Hurry up and get me out.”

  “In such a hurry to be free. Well, I suppose you have been stuck a long while.” Suddenly she wasn’t in the back of the room, she was next to Clint, who seemed quite unsurprised at the spontaneous teleportation. “Or is it some other reason? Tell me, Kodiwandae, have you taken to caring for this vessel of yours?”

  “This vessel has a name. All of these mortals do. And yes, I do care for them. They showed me kindness and aid when they owed me nothing.”

  “You are a god. Is it not their place to serve you?”

  Clint’s eyes sparked, literally throwing off a small shower of light. “I am not here to debate our role in the world or the basis of the symbiotic relationship between mortal and god. I am here to complete our ritual and get the hell out of Clint before I do any more damage.”

  “Caring for individual mortals is a dangerous road, Kodiwandae. It has been the path of destruction for many of our kind before you, but it has also been the path to greatness for a few. And you have the seeds of greatness within you. I should know; after all, seeds are something of my specialty.”

  Her hand settled on Clint’s forehead, long fingers enveloping the entire span of his cranium. A wind blew through the temple, carrying the scent of an impending storm. Those who had been at the tree where this all began felt a sense of déjà vu.

  “Very well. Let us finish this.”

  * * *

  Clint’s eyes fluttered open to reveal a world of swirling colors, a lazy kindergartener’s attempt at art. For a moment he feared his vision had been destroyed; however, after a few blinks he realized he was merely coming out of an extremely deep sleep. The world cleared to reveal a circle of people standing over him, concern apparent on all their faces. It was all of his friends, plus a face that he didn’t know but that somehow looked incredibly familiar.

  “Kodiwandae, I assume?”

  The stranger gave him a dazzling a smile, white teeth accentuated all the more by his tan skin. “In the flesh. Finally.”

  More hands than he could count reached down and pulled him to his feet, each taking as much care as was possible. His head went dizzy for a moment, then things righted themselves and he was able to stand under his own power.

  “How do you feel?”

  How did he feel? Different: no question there. The sensation he’d gotten after using just a word of Kodi’s power paled in comparison to this. He didn’t think he’d ever be quite the same again. Then again, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. People changed all the time. They had experiences, they grew, they became new versions of themselves: sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. He was not the same Clint who had first come to the island; however, he doubted he was looking at the same April, or Falcon, or Kaia, or Mano, or… well, maybe the same Thunder. But probably not the same Kodiwandae as had been sealed away so many years ago. He was different. Maybe that was okay.

  “I feel better than I did in the pit, I’ll tell you that.”

  Kodi laughed and it wasn’t long before the others were joining in. It wasn’t all that funny; it was just a sense of relief that after coming so close to the edge, it was beginning to seem like they were going to be all right.

  “That makes me happier than I can tell you,” Kodi said. “I owe you, all of you, a tremendous debt. As does my friend, Felbren.”

  Clint noticed for the first time that there were other people in the room that were not crowded around him. Felbren was there, still holding Lawrence, who seemed to have been magically silenced, at least given how furiously he was shouting without producing words. Nature stood beside him, a gentle smile on her face and a faint glimmer of boredom in her eyes. He didn’t take it personally; to her, this probably was not even a blip on the radar.

  “Still a friend?”

  “I know this might be hard to understand, but in our world, the extent of his actions amount to little more than a practical joke, like putting a bucket of water on a slightly open door for your friend to walk through.”

  “Really?”

  “No, but I don’t have the heart to abandon him. I’m the only real friend he still has.”

  “You’re a solid bro, Kodi,” Thunder chimed in.

  “As are all of you, solid bros.”

  The mortal group exchanged a look, debating the idea of correcting Kodi before such terms sank into his vocabulary; however, he continued speaking before they got a chance. “I’m afraid we need to be going soon. I’ve been absent of my island for too long, and there are other matters to attend to as well. I wanted you to know that you all have my thanks, though, and as that you all carry my divine blessing.”

  “What does that mean?” April, always the stickler, asked.

  “I am not a world-renowned god, but I do hold some power. From now on, I will hear your prayers above all others. Additionally, pears will now hold minor healing properties for you. It will not regrow a leg; however, small cuts and headaches are a thing of the past for you.”

  “Does the brew-ju work on hangovers?” Thunder asked.

  “Of course.”

  “Aw man, but then I’d have to chompers down a pear. Yucksville. Lady or the tiger, bro.”

  “We thank you, oh generous one,” Falcon butted in. “What will become of Lawrence, though?”

  “There is a special punishment for those who try to steal from the gods. I assure you, he will not trouble any of you in the future.” They might have wanted more details, but the gleam in Felbren’s eyes stayed their tongues. Sometimes it was easier to sleep at night not knowing certain things.

  Nature cleared her throat, which resulted in three plants turning brown and dying, reminding Kodiwandae that there was only so much time for goodbyes.

  “We must be off. Thank you again, my friends. We’ve arranged for Lawrence’s boat to return you to Kenowai where you can catch your plane. If you need any assistance on the way, well, I’ll be listening.”

  Kodi started to turn away, however he turned back and stuck out his hand to Clint. The mortal seized the divine appendage and the two shook; however, before it was over, Kodi pulled Clint in close and whispered to him, “I do not know what lies in store for you. Never has a mortal done what you did, so there is no precedent to work from. Just know that, w
hatever happens, you have friends in high places you can turn to.” Then their embrace was broken and Kodiwandae stood with the other gods.

  There was no pomp or showmanship. One minute they were standing, Kodiwandae waving, Nature looking away, Felbren sulking, and Lawrence screaming bloody murder with nary a sound produced, and then they were all simply gone.

  “Awesomsauce,” Thunder said, the others quietly echoing his sentiment. The group began heading out of the temple, too exhausted to engage in discussion after all they’d been through.

  Since the hallway out was narrow, Clint found himself walking next to Kaia, who greeted his presence with a warm smile. They locked eyes for a moment then Clint grew nervous and turned his away. That was strange; he didn’t usually get nervous about anything.

  “Clint,” Kaia said, her voice strange. “What color are your eyes?”

  “Just brown.”

  “That’s what I thought. Nothing special about them, right?”

  “Nope. Dull, boring, brown, that’s me.”

  She reached into her reclaimed purse and fiddled around for a bit, eventually pulling out a compact mirror. Wordlessly, she opened it and handed it to Clint. He stopped walking to take a look, though at first he wasn’t sure what she wanted him to see. Then it was clear. He wondered how he’d missed it.

  Gold. Undeniable flecks of gold were scattered across the dull brown canvas of his irises. When he tilted his head they seemed to shimmer, never quite in the same place any two times that he looked. Who knows how long he would have stood there admiring himself if Kaia’s voice hadn’t broken the spell.

  “So, what do you think it means?”

  21.

  Edward Dillon emerged from his private elevator to find a small army of men in suits milling around his office, one woman in similar dress at the center. She was seated at his desk, a pile of folders set before her and a cheap romance novel in her hands. She glanced up at his entrance then stuck a bookmark in the pages, momentarily halting Rodrigo’s romantic advances on the widow Tilston.

  “Good morning, Mr. Dillon.”

  “Miss… Rainwater, wasn’t it? I didn’t get word that you’d all returned from the island yet.”

  “Yes, unfortunately all of your lackeys are in various forms of custody for the crimes they committed during our trip. I only paused long enough to pop by my old office and gather up a few supplies before coming to see you. Please, have a seat.”

  “You’re in my chair,” Edward Dillon pointed out, hoping she would vacate without making him call security. Hurling a woman with grey hair out into the streets would be terrible publicity.

  “Actually, I’m not. Why don’t you sit down and let me explain? If you’d like, I’ll even send the goon-squad out the door.”

  He weighed his options. None of the men looked terribly imposing, but the lady lecturing him from the chair seemed to control them effortlessly. She was blocking his emergency button under the desk; he could call from his phone if he kept her distracted, though. With a seemingly innocuous shrug he set his coffee down and plopped into one of his visitor chairs. Obeying some unseen cue, the men in suits all walked out his office door, shutting it firmly behind them.

  “Mr. Dillon, I would like to tell you a story.”

  “If this is about your money, there is a two-week mailing period from our central accounting office. This is not the appropriate way to look for expedition.”

  “It is a story of a young, ambitious woman named Valerie Quinn,” she continued, verbally plowing right over him. “She was a smart girl, and hungry. She came from a poor family, so she worked herself to the bone academically. Valerie managed to get admission into a top-tier law school, later passing the bar on her first try. After that, she started working on business law while also earning her MBA. Her formidable intellect, education, and personality led the people who faced her to start calling her Valerie the Valkyrie. They meant it as an insult, but she took it as a complement. Eventually, Valerie moved up in the world, crushing more beneath her as she started her own consulting firm while chairing the boards of several other Fortune 500 corporations. Then, one day, about twelve years ago, Valerie met an enemy she couldn’t beat back. Do you know what that was?”

  “The boredom of the people she was talking to?”

  “Cancer. Not for her, that would have been too just. No, it came for her younger sister, a dear girl named Melissa, who had raised three fine children and worked with some local charities in her free time. Valerie spared no expense in her treatment, but even her impressive wealth wasn’t enough to help Melissa. In Valerie’s darkest hour, sitting in the hospital chapel, waiting for the inevitable to happen, she did something she had long ago dismissed as lunacy. Valerie prayed. She’d never been big on the organizational deities; however, the idea of nature having a collective consciousness had appealed to her. So she made Mother Earth an offer: if Melissa could be spared then Valerie would change her ways. No more aggressive tactics, no more worship of the almighty dollar. She would give up meat, she would do all she could to live in harmony with her surroundings. Valerie would trade away everything she knew if only she could keep her sister.”

  “Let me guess: your sister lived and that’s why you showed up to my office going by Falcon and dressed like a hippie?” Edward Dillon checked his watch. “If we’re done, I really do have to get to work. There are several important meetings scheduled for today.”

  “All you have on your calendar is a golf game and two hours set aside to tool with your fantasy football lineup,” she corrected. Edward was a professional, so he did not blush in embarrassment at being called out. His hands did tighten on his coffee mug, however.

  “You’re right, she made a miraculous recovery. Still alive today, over in Colorado. And I kept my deal, because I’m a businesswoman. Thanks to you, though, I had an interesting experience over the past week, and I got to meet the very incarnation of what I prayed to that day.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “It would take too long to explain, and you wouldn’t believe me anyway. Suffice it to say that while one of my friends was unconscious I had some free time, so I spoke to Nature in the flesh, and thanked her personally for saving my sister. Know what she said?”

  “Given the turn the conversation has taken, I’d wager it to be something crazy.”

  “She had no idea what I was talking about. It might have been divine intervention that saved Melissa, or just the drugs finally working. Either way, it wasn’t the work of the deity I made my bargain with, which means I am no longer bound by those granola-eating practices. Though I’ll say that my time as Falcon was not entirely wasteful. I learned a lot about myself, and about how to be a kinder, more loving person. Now, let’s get to the meat of the matter. I’m taking over your company.”

  “My, you really have gone down the path of madness, haven’t you?” Edward hit send on the phone he’d been covertly dialing under the chair. Now it was just a matter of time.

  “Possibly, but too bad for you I’m still excellent at what I do.” Valerie slid the first folder over to him. “This will detail how I bought up most of your board’s share this morning through lucrative offers they would have been fools to pass up.” She slid him the next one. “This will show how Lawrence Farran, who owned a sizable stake in your company, transferred those shares over to me before his incarceration. Feel free to challenge them, though I don’t think you’ll have much luck.”

  Edward reviewed the documents with a growing sense of dread. She hadn’t quite managed to get majority control with her antics, but she was close. Much closer than he was comfortable with.

  “Good effort, but you’re short.”

  “Ah, but I still have a folder left.” She slid the last one over, a jungle cat’s smile dancing on her face. “That one, as you will read, deals with the shares belonging to your son, who we know as Thunder. Seems you’ve been giving him some every year as a birthday gift since he was born. Well, at least up until four year
s ago. Still, it was enough to give me majority.”

  Edwards felt his coffee twist uncomfortably in his stomach.

  “He’s a loyal son, would only sell me what I needed under very specific terms. You’ll stay on in a leadership role, though I will be looking over your shoulder to make certain we don’t have any cultural boondoggles like the one you pulled in Kenowai. Every one of the contest winners is still paid their prize money, checks due out this afternoon. I am not allowed to make any large scale cut-backs to the company, nor can I gut it for its recipes and distributors then leave it to wither on the vine. There are a few other caveats, but the long and short is that the company is protected. I must say, he has a surprisingly extensive grasp of business practices.”

  “He used to be such a smart boy.”

  “He still is,” the new head of Camelot Burgers replied. “I think perhaps you just don’t understand his particular brand of wisdom. Don’t worry; you’ll have ample time to let it grow on you as you work together.”

  “Work together?” By this point it was all Edward could do to string two words together.

  “Certainly. You’ll be teaching him the business starting next year. Neither of us is getting younger, and I think it’s time we started looking ahead to the future of our company. Besides, he was adamant on the idea of wanting to spend more time with his father.”

  Edward Dillon was dimly aware of the sound of opening doors as the men in suits flooded back into the office. Security was with them; however, he had a sinking suspicion they weren’t here to come to his rescue.

  “That will be all, Edward. Security will help you move to your new cubicle ten floors down. I think it’s high time you started getting to know the cogs that keep this company running.”

  * * *

  Mano finished pouring the golden-brown liquid into the ocean, watching it dissipate slowly amidst the crashing waves. The empty rum bottle went into the same wagon he’d used to haul the case of beer, now only empty cans. Mano was also a person who kept his bargains, though at the moment he wasn’t sure who to dedicate such an offering to. It seemed like he was on good terms with Kodiwandae and Felbren, and he wasn’t all that certain the goddess of Denilale gave a crap about this sort of thing, so he decided that it was for the sea god, Iohalo.