Hacker's Diary

by Adam Smith

  Yin and Yang. Yin and Yang, they are the beginning of themselves. I guess that there is no point in denying anything. At all. The question gives answers. To every question, there are as many answers as there are people.

  Stupid and Smart are simply two ends of the same stick. And yes, to get immortalized is perhaps, to descend into the source. Into the source and the point is to have a reputable end. But what about those who died far before there were documentations? People were there, trying living there lives.

  Ego? Ego and life... if there is an ego and there is life. We appear and disappear. Like a cloud.

  Some people love the extreme... some don't. What's the point of anything at all? You choose or rather get into a role from the previous role. But what if you remain one role all along. If you don't change? How can you live on? Change... Everything changes and yet remains the same.

  Flower withers and dies. But you will remember that it's only as you have seen it. What's the difference at all? I think that if you observe the life and choose the precious moments. Modus Operandi is survival.

  But who contains the memory? If the memory. Is just a containment of the skull? Containment of the skull is just a projection upon the world. The world... we do not see it

  What is your original idea? I don't know. The whistle blows the wind and death is scaring mint and finally, I can see Lena standing there smoking weed and grass, she is such a lass.

  Unfortunately, there is no point in anything at all. The time shifts your mind after all. Nobody knows what I'll bite my thumb means but everybody knows what to flip your finger means.

  How people make friends? I think, it's something of...

  Time to check the time. It was important to know that there are different kind of things happening around.

  Especially time to check the time and then the first of people could be better than the life would be better than the other that was previously different from differences. We love the love for the feeling of how it gives us. Otherwise, there would be no reason to be perfect to survive. The cheeriness about life and other things and people personally loved you.

  Life was going on further after the time you have lost them, and how unfortunate it was for them. But certainly, they were other things.

  How life is different from things but certainly it was something else.

  Life was going on and suddenly life was different from other things. Duty-Free, was a little bit weird, at times. However, the girls were nice looking outside, but rotten inside. And, I was no different. I wanted a better life for my family and myself. But certainly, things turned out weird every time I looked around. And life was miserable for most of them.

  They needed a push and I was about to produce one. Life wasn't fair to this people. And all I wanted to do is to concentrate and be peaceful, however, the dog inside of me wanted to fight, I had that beast inside until I met her. She was rotten, but I found it pretty. Yes certainly, I wasn't a genius in doing so. But I do not regret a thing. I just fell in love with that girl. And that girl was different.

  Time after time, I thought about things that could get out of that thing. Anyhow, I wanted to get out of that place with a certain win. So, I had to go through that amount of suffering, just to cash out of my little evil plan. My little evil plan was brilliantly organized in little steps. All I had to do is to hold on and carry out the thing in the proper order. Proper order, and time after time, people were trying to sabotage my mission. But the mission was the highest priority.

  Next day was different, the people were.

  Chapter 8

  The crow, some say it is a symbol of death. Others state that the crow is a messenger of Odin. However, I think that Raven is just a bird that delivers certain state of mind. It's like everything else you believe in is what probably right. The world has many things, and each one of us explains it differently. However, one thing is for sure if someone's opinion affects yours, you probably deserve it. Like an old Zen master once said: Head of the Dragon, tail of a snake.

  Saturday. I had to get ready for the night shift. Night shifts are the best as you probably already know. Anyway, I'll remind you that at the night shifts, we get an entire hour of a break because the store closes and there is no need for employees. During that time, we are free to do whatever we please.

  Most of us were spending time either browsing our phones, smoking cigarettes, talking to each other or wandering around in search of a new toy to spend our money on, when and if we'll ever fly abroad with our miniature salaries.

  I wasn't browsing my phone this day, during the one hour break. I've been trying my luck with the dream girl.

  She was talking about her time at the army and how annoying it was to waste 2 years of her life upon the protection of the people she will never know or will never care to know.

  I was just listening and nodding my head. She was all so expressive and naturally seductive that I couldn't take my eyes off her swiftly moving juicy lips and wide green eyes.

  Up and down my eyes went as I tried to build rapport with her, just as one of those Don Juan books suggested that I should if I want to get laid with the desired target.

  Her shape was just as perfectly balanced as of my old Spanish guitar, Grandma got for me during the Israeli New Year.

  The guitar, if you ever saw one is shaped like glass watch. Wide hips, narrow waist and a wide chest. Oh, I was loving this girl with my mind every second our conversation lasted until I finally brushed her hand with fingers of my right hand. She produced a smile and playfully asked "What are you doing Adi, we are at a public place!" I giggled and said "Excuse me, maybe, I work at the Duty-Free but I'm still just a man" we laughed our hearts out.

  When the break was over, we already exchanged a couple of kisses but not in the mouth, she was a soldier and yet from a religious background and intimacy had to be intimate even with as little things as kisses.

  As I said, Israel is hard to figure out, I believe, as hard as, any other place on Earth, but you try, because you know if it wasn't up for this quest, it would be for nothing.

  Some people say that when you go out for a journey be it taking out trash, going to work or commuting to a job, you are carrying all your family with you in your heart. And if there is no peace there, well you won't find peace anywhere.

  I won't be describing how I got home that morning as it was not different from any other day, but the fact that I got her number made me a little bit optimistic regarding the whole operation and myself as a human being.

  I've concluded that her temperateness with a combination of her physical features are the characteristics that make her the dream girl for me.

  Her grey eyes, vivid long blonde hair, perfectly shaped breasts that I could only see perking through the firm's jacket.

  Wonderful sense of humor and stoic ability to pay attention to details.

  The dream girl is a dream girl, you can't describe her unless you have seen her with your own eyes.

  Anyway, excuse me for my romantic refrain, I'm just a human...

  I got home that day and made it to the shower. I walked through the entire routine as I usually do. Then, I finally made it to bed.

  Sunday 8:00 AM, 1st of June. I woke up to a wake-y wake-y alarm from my phone that I've set up on the evening of the previous day.

  It's a new day, and I'm ready to kick ass and take names. Today is my day off, by the way. I text my dream girl, by the way, her name is Lassie Cohen, so she won't need to rewrite her surname in case we make it out like grown-ups. Anyhow, I never thought about it to ever be that serious, you know when you're young, you want to make a statement, and that's what I wanted the most.

  After the army, every normal soldier takes a month off at Brazil or some other country, just for the sake of adventure and brain restart to be able to think clearly rather rationally, not a friend or the foe kind of thinking. Or at times, we go to such places just to fuck hot girls on the run.

 
However, there is another group of soldiers, as well. There is a group to which I Adi Cohen belong, it's the guys who think of making their future something more than doing tables at the restaurant in Tel Aviv. We study. That's it. Invest the money from the army into the studies of stuff we find interesting and important for the society. Be it computers, electronics or law, we are one unique futuristic tribe.

  I believe that there are radicals at every corner at every spot on our planet. Be it India, New Zeeland or Israel, we all have that spark that thinks and drives us forward to Utopia of the global village.

  Anyhow, I took that one year at the college to study System Administration and Computer Science 101. As I explained myself earlier, I decided I wanted to pivot because I lacked much of socializing when I'm with the machine and it kind of dehumanizes me, which is not what I want. So, studying law next and earning a degree in it was the next on my bucket list.

  Not that I plan to die anytime soon, I simply like to call the bucket list because it gives more meaning to my not so humble opinion.

  Day off started as usual with a simple cup of coffee. Cup of coffee never can be simple like my grandma taught me, she always said that I hold my soul into it. The bigger part of your soul you put into it, the better your day is going to be.

  I'm not too keen on my abilities to make coffee, however, I'm considering to make friends with a barrister. Joking, seriously...

  At 10:00 AM, I browse the news once again. The world never stands still, even when you do.

  There is always something happening somewhere. And the Lord can attest, I love it.

  Time after time I repeat my previous steps, however, turns out not to be that accurate enough... because I always get a different result or at least, I'm used to thinking so.

  The news told me that Jeff Bezos became the richest man on Earth for an hour. His personal net value was higher than that of Bill Gate. Well, he could be proud of himself for beating a record and ashamed that it lasted only for an hour.

  I thought, it was a cool achievement either way.

  One thought that came to my mind that morning was that when they break your heart, it's their own hearts they break, as well. I'm sorry, I thought of making it sad to some people that were dear to me. I'm sorry, I wasn't there to fix it. I thought of dad and how he counted on me for help. I simply need to get over all that and do what I do best, talk technology and execute the process that was the mastermind.

  9 days till I get the salary and it is fine by me because I will have enough time to test everything the third time. And prepare plan C, in case the money transfer won't work. There is always cryptocurrency.

  Crime and honor... Have you ever thought about it? They say there is honor among thieves. But when you come to think about it we are all thieves. In some sort of a way. We lie, cheat and steal just to make our close circle of dear ones safe from the rest. Yes, you do lose some while running the race, but at some point, you win on a long run more than anybody else because you believe in what you do. Dear ones give you purpose to achieve things that any other mortal could hardly ever be able to achieve.

  Everything this way or another unfolds in such a way that you get an answer to your question eventually. Yes, please - say the universe and here you go! Whatever you've dreamed of!

  Mentally, it comes up to be sort of a miracle and then you simply cannot shut up, you are over fueled by joy. And such things happen every day, you simply should know how to let them enter your life.

  At 01:00 PM, I finally dressed up for going beyond the borders of my room. Yes, the time and the mood dictate me to follow the lead of my heart and walk out in the park for a bit. Just enough of a time to refill my mammalian instincts of life.

  Interestingly enough that when you live in a well-willing community, sometimes your memory is limited to yourself and willingness to feel the needs of the surrounding, you eventually start to recall things from distant past and forget the things of recent past. Some well-weighed thoughts and feelings come up sooner than those that were minor but recent.

  Most intelligent thing about unintelligent living is a lack of consciousness for your own deeds. If you're a well-wisher, nothing bad out of such living won't ever appear.

  I took a leap of faith and turned the key to lock my chamber. The rest was like a poem, going down the stairs, leaving the stress behind with every stroke of a wind upon my face and hair. The wind you may know is a bringer of good news, when it's moderate.

  I may bless the gods of wind, but I will never be good enough because of the sailors, they are always far in advance and I, just like them always rely on the wind. At least, they used to, when ships still had sailed.

  I made my way slowly to the park then to the Sokolov Street. I like to stroll throughout the street and find peace in my own conscious waking. As an old Zen master once said, may there be peace in your every motion, be it walking, running or talking.

  Time was passing like a sand, all I had to do is to make something out of it. Something useful. These tiny moments, they are necessary, in order, to make something out of life in general.

  At 02:00 PM, I am full of sweat hanging on a pull-up bar, trying to get my back stronger. Overall, there is the importance of remaining in good physical shape. After all, somebody has to serve these people their goods with a straight back.

  At 02:30 PM, I was making my way back home just to figure out how to get myself together before the necessary conclusion of the mission.

  At 02:40 PM. taking the shower, was a must. As always, it refreshes the spirit and makes it necessary for me to conclude the importance of clean body and spirit.

  Just after the stake was taken, I induce the necessary amount of focus to proceed with the tutorials.

  Yeah, after the shower moment, it's always important for self-reflection and proper mind direction. Fuck all the fucktards who say otherwise!

  As I have to go to the morning shift the next day, I had to manage my time accordingly. 1 AM at the bus stop. 2 AM at the Airport. Working as Papa Carlo of cash.

  I had to make myself go to bed at 6 PM. After all, the time-consuming reading and preparing for the operation made me exhausted.

  However, the sleep did not come, I had to put on the deep sleep music again and only after 10 minutes of deep meditation, I managed to submit my conscious to sleep.

  This nap was a dream about that girl...

  The dream girl. We were dancing in the strawberry fields and they had been playing songs from off the scene.

  I woke up to the alarm clock. Right after that, I would go away to persuade my plan but everything was purposed to go downhill that day. I woke up to knocks on my door, the landlord wanted to enter, he wanted to install new windows so that when my contract ends he could ask for more cash per month.

  I had to argue with him over that. My stand is that I live in the room and I need windows functioning during the time that I rest. His stand was that he could manage in a day to install new windows and I would be using new ones from that day on. We argued for a little while because I had no nerve to go around and explain to him that without the windows being opened, the room is basically an oven. We closed on that as he fixes the windows on an upcoming day shift that I have.

  I made it to the shower after the greedy landlord made it away. A shower is the first thing in the morning as needed if you want to feel human, in this area of the planet.

  I made it out to a call from my mother, she was crying because her dog died that day and I had to pretend that I cared for the dog though, it was a little old and a quite annoying puddle. I used to play with it when I was younger but after the army, it aged without any grace and I felt that even mother with all her love to that animal, she already got tired and was projecting to the younger image of the dog while it was all falling apart. It is sad, to be honest, to see your best friend age and die a dishonorable death, but deep inside, I knew that all it was about was for nature to prepare us for our own avail.
>
  Philosophical stuff aside. But she sounded really upset over the phone and me mentioning the good memories of this dog made her feel better that it's not only her who felt the loss.

  After that, I made myself go out and search for additional trouble. Just kidding, I went out to purchase some groceries, Granny Smith apples, rice and bag of red potatoes. I like potatoes, made into chips served with tuna and corn, they are true gentleman's meal.

  While going from the fruits and vegetable store, I spotted a cat fight. It was like if I was in a movies set because there were two neighboring cats fighting. The cat on the right was a black cat with a spot of white on its chest, and the cat on the left was white with a spot of black on the chest. I couldn't interfere even if I wanted to, I just could observe the swift brawl going on on the top of the fence.

  I quickly grabbed the phone and tried to make a worthy shot of the fight. Unfortunately, when my phone finally opened the camera, the cats were done with each other at their own corner.

  I have put the phone back in my pocket and proceeded to my next shopping destination. Grocery store. I bought some tomato sauce beans, corn and tuna. It was a fine walk and a fine walk back home. I love to buy food for myself. You don't need to count on anyone to buy the things you like and besides you don't need to buy the stuff you don't eat.

  When I made it back home, it was 12:30 AM. I had enough time to practice coding. Make some crucial system tests, everything has to function properly before I execute the operation.

  At 14:00, I took a break from the computer and start to clean the potatoes. They are slippery after you wash them. The worst and the best about being alone is that you are alone.

  On the one side, you don't have to argue, on the other you have no one to share with.

  Some say one must dislike people to a certain degree and to like solitude to another to be able to do something progressive, write a novel, compose an overture, to code...