by Jessa Eden
He was guilty as sin and I didn’t need to know anything more. I staggered out the house, desperate to get away from him.
I had lived a lie for twenty-two years.
A fucking lie.
My father had threatened Marla so horribly that she had broken up with me and never contacted me about Charlie. He was a despicable man, who only thought of himself. I hated what he had done to Marla, to me, and worst of all, to Charlie.
Motherfucker.
It hurt to breathe as I clicked the fob to open the Porsche and walked down the steps of the porch.
I stopped walking, the crushing blow causing me to stagger under the weight of betrayal running through my blood.
The pressure in my chest exploded as I screamed, “NO!” for all I was worth in my father’s driveway.
I almost dropped to my knees, the pain was so great. The blinders fell from my eyes as I revisited those final days with Marla. She’d been extra sweet, whispering she loved me every other minute. At the time, I didn’t know what to make of it, but now I knew.
She was trying to soften the blow that was coming.
The fuckin’ blow that would destroy me for years.
I shook my head, recalling how her heartbreaking words had been so calculated, so cold. I had never seen her act like that. She must’ve been scared to death, dealing with my father’s threat while I walked away from her, full of bitterness and blame.
My heart split wide open as I remembered how good she’d been to me, how kind and compassionate she had been and still was. She’d been grace under fire dealing with everything I had thrown at her this time around.
And I repaid her kindness with cruelty.
Fuck me.
I was so wrong about her.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Marla:
Relief coursed through my veins as I experienced life, for the first time in a long time, without secrets and lies leading the way.
Beau knew everything.
There would be collateral damage for sure, but it was all out there.
Come what may.
Beau’s reaction was my biggest concern. This was a big blow for him and a betrayal of the worst kind. I hurt for him all day long, wondering if he actually confronted his dad.
If he did, I was sure it wasn’t pretty. I doubted James Shepard gave Beau the answers he so desperately wanted.
But that didn’t stop me from hoping.
Beau deserved to hear the truth from his father’s mouth.
That night after eating dinner, I tried to relax by reading an article on the properties of healing essential oils when the doorbell rang.
My heart leapt in my chest as I bolted up. I ran to the door and threw it open. To my utter delight, Beau filled the doorway, reminding me of the boy I knew so long ago. His blue eyes were soft, the bitterness missing in his glance.
“Beau?” I asked, wondering if I was seeing a mirage.
His chiseled face broke out in an easy smile. “Hey, Sunshine.”
The familiar loving way he said my nickname made my toes curl inside my pink bunny slippers.
I smiled back warmly. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.” He stepped into the house as we stood inches from each other.
“You did?” I whispered.
“Yeah, I’ve been missing you something fierce, Sunshine.”
I gasped, his words moving through me like a warm summer wind after a long brutal winter. That was the best feeling, ever. I closed my eyes for a minute, savoring this moment of vindication.
When I opened them again, he was still standing in front of me, so dreamy and handsome, I couldn’t help but gush, “I’ve missed you too, Beau.”
“Let’s do something about that. Come here,” he growled softly and pulled me close by my T-shirt.
I didn’t resist. Our lips locked softly as his kiss infused soul deep goodness into me. I melted into his arms, craving what he was offering.
Heat.
Comfort.
Seduction.
His cock surged against my stomach and things were suddenly moving too fast. Before our passion consumed us, I broke from our embrace.
“What’s changed?” I asked, breathing hard.
“Everything.”
“I want to hear about it. I’ll fix you some coffee and we’ll sit down and talk about it,” I said, backing up a safe distance.
He followed, stalking my movements. “I don’t want coffee. I want you.”
I stopped in my tracks, my heart in my throat. “What exactly do you want from me?”
His blue gaze filled with a smoldering heat, which was hard to deny. “I want to feel your body against mine as your soft skin melts into mine. I want to bury my face so deep in your pussy, I’ll find Heaven, and I want to fuck you so hard, I feel you come around my cock.”
Holy Shit.
He wasn’t messing around.
I tried to ignore the way his words unlocked the desire in my body as I swallowed hard. “Wow. That’s a lot to handle.”
“I want us to be like we used to be. My world was right when you were in it, Sunshine,” he offered freely, his eyes bright and shiny with affection.
It was too good to be true.
My common sense suddenly got the best of me. “Are you playin’ me, Shepard?”
“After all this?”
“I need to check, Beau. You’ve been playing this game for a long time and I need to know you’re for real.”
His blue gaze flickered with regret. “You’re right. I wanted to hurt you and make you pay for what you did to me.”
“Here’s a newsflash: I was already wounded and broken where you were concerned.”
“I know, but I didn’t believe it when you first told me.”
My glance pooled with vulnerability. “How about now? Do you believe I’ve suffered enough?”
“Three months ago, I didn’t want to see your pain or question the past. Now that I know the truth, I know you’ve suffered plenty. I’m not going to pretend everything’s okay, but I think we have a chance to get to know each other again.”
I smiled. “I like hearing that, Beau. It gives me hope.”
“So can’t we just put everything aside and be together tonight?”
“And then what?”
“Then I’ll figure out where I’m at.”
That was code for I’m not making any kind of commitment.
“I get that. But I’m not looking for a one-night stand. I can’t do that with you. You have a million girls you could call for that. I need to know we are more than a quick lay.”
“I can’t promise that.”
“I know.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“I think we should have that cup of coffee and talk. We haven’t actually had much of a chance for a decent conversation. I want to know what happened with your dad.”
He sighed, running his hand through his short hair. “All right, Sunshine. I’ll take my coffee with a little bit of sugar.”
“Any cream?”
“No, I’m good.”
Reeling from his heated arrival, I floated into the kitchen and prepared some decaf coffee, coming to grips with Beau being at my house, eager to spend time with me.
Pull it together, Marla.
You can do this.
With that in mind, I brought in a tray of coffee and cookies and sat down next to him.
“So how did it go with your dad?” I asked, handing him a hot cup of coffee.
He sighed heavily. “Not good. He denied everything, but he couldn’t look me in the eye, and he was spitting mad when I mentioned you.”
“Yeah, he’s never liked me very much,” I said, grabbing a chocolate chip cookie off the tray.
“He’s gotten even nastier as he’s grown older. It’s like all the bitterness inside him is eating him alive.”
“Wow. That’s awful. It can’t be easy to find all this out about your dad.”
&
nbsp; “It’s not.” His jaw tightened as I watched him struggle with his demons.
“You’ve got a lot on your plate, Beau. Take it easy on yourself,” I offered gently.
“I don’t even know what that means, Sunshine. But I’m getting tired of talking about it.”
I glanced at him sympathetically. “I get that. What can I do to help?”
“I can think of something.” He reached for me, but I knew I wasn’t ready to go there yet.
I moved back, out of his range, trying to think of something to distract him. “Can I show you something?”
He shot me a wicked grin as his eyes flickered up and down my body. “Sure.”
“Just a sec.” I ran to my bedroom and grabbed the scrapbook full of his newspaper clippings.
I hustled back into the living room. “Here. Take a look at this.” I handed him the dark-colored album.
He glanced at it with curiosity. “What is it?”
“Open it up and you’ll see.”
*****
Beau:
“Wow. Look at how young I look,” I said, glancing at an article about my scoring record with a picture of me on the ice taking a slapshot.
“Yeah, you scored eighty-five goals that year.”
“You memorized my stats?”
“Yeah,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing red.
“Why?” I pressed.
She turned, giving me her full and lovely gaze. “You’re important to me. I wanted to celebrate your achievements.”
“I didn’t know you would keep up with my hockey career.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know.”
“Yeah, we have a lot of catching up to do.” I had a sudden urge to ask her about my career ending injury. “Did you know about my accident?”
She shut her eyes as if she were in pain. “Yes, it almost killed me.”
“Yeah, me too.”
We share a little laugh at my lame joke.
“I wanted to go up to Toronto so badly, but I had the kids to take care of,” she explained, apparently still feeling guilty.
“I wanted you there. I wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, but there were many nights I imagined you by my side, encouraging me to get better. I would’ve given anything to have you nurse me back to health.” I gazed at her longingly. “You want to play naughty nurse?” I joked.
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “Depends on what you need your naughty nurse to do.”
“Well, it hurts right here.” I touched the middle of my cheek.
Her gaze turned serious as she leaned over and kissed my cheek gently. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were hurt and in pain.”
Her words rocked through me as she rubbed her hand against my chest, compelling me to speak from the heart. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when Charlie was born.”
She nodded sadly, as I put my hand over hers. “Me, too.” A shuddery sigh escaped her as her doe eyes flickered in pain. “I’m sorry you had to believe I didn’t love you anymore.”
Those words reached inside, unlocking a part of me that hadn’t been touched in a long time.
“Me, too.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you harder or realize my father made you break-up with me.”
Her eyes overflowed with tears. “How could you know, Beau? No one thinks a parent could do something so awful.”
“Still, I should have done something.”
“Maybe. But we were kids. Your dad had connections, powerful connections. I wasn’t naive enough to think he wouldn’t pull in some favors to make either one of us suffer to get what he wanted.”
“It doesn’t matter. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known he was an evil bastard.”
“Let’s not focus on that, right now. Your dad has taken enough from us. Let’s talk about something positive. I want you to know I’ve never wanted anything but the best for you.”
“Really? It’s so weird to hear you say that.”
“Why?”
“I always thought you hated me. You were so cold and determined when you broke up with me.”
“I had to be. Would you have left if I’d asked nicely?”
“Hell, no. I loved you too much.”
“I know. I never doubted that. You were the best fiancé a girl could ask for.”
My glance grew soulful. “You were the only woman I ever wanted to marry.”
She touched my cheek again, rubbing her thumb along my cheekbone as her soft gaze filled with regret. “I’m sorry I ruined relationships for you.”
“You didn’t ruin them. I just never found anyone I loved like you.”
“Me neither.”
We had been so damn good together.
But that had been stolen from us when my father got involved.
The sharp pain of finding that out, rose in my chest again as I shook my head. “I can’t believe I didn’t know. I can’t believe my dad would do that to you. To me. All those years we lost. All the years we could have been together.”
“I know. We’ve lost a lot.”
“You really didn’t want to break-up with me?” I asked, still unsure.
“No, of course not.”
“So, all this time we could have been together, but you were blackmailed by my father to never see me again?”
“Yep, pretty much.”
“That fucker. I knew he was a hard ass, but I didn’t think he would go that far. I should’ve known better.”
“I don’t know, Beau. What would you have done?”
“Stood up to him. Made him leave you alone. God, I can’t stand that I didn’t know. JESUS!” I stood up, pacing the length of the couch. “I hate him, Marla. I hate him. He always wanted things his way, but I had no idea he would take our lives and twist them apart for his own gain.” I sat back down, agitated. “You should have told me.”
“So you could hate your father?” She shook her head in denial. “No, I couldn’t do that to you.”
“But you let us break-up?”
“Your dad wasn’t very reasonable about all this, Beau. I have a feeling he would have just caused more trouble. He was so determined. For just a minute, imagine what it was like for me facing your powerful dad, who would stop at nothing to get his son where he wanted. Now, imagine me finding out I’m pregnant with your baby.” Her doe eyes filled with pain. “I was terrified, Beau, that he would come after Charlie. I couldn’t risk it...I just couldn’t. So yes, it was an epic failure on my part not to stand up to your wicked father or tell you about your son. But I thought it was more important to protect my children than it was for us to be together.”
Another punch in the gut. “All that makes sense. I get it, but I hate it.”
“I know. It sucks. I’ll be honest. It’s been a hard road to forgive your dad. He’s taken so much from us. So many times, I wished you were with me; when I needed your strength or your ability to make me laugh. You wouldn’t believe Charlie as a teenager. He put you to shame. We barely hung on by the skin of our teeth, but somehow we made it through.”
I laughed bitterly. “Fuck, Marla. That kills me.”
She tried to make it better. “But it’s not all bad. Do you know your grandfather made sure we had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies?”
“Yeah, he mentioned he helped you out.”
“You have a wonderful grandfather, Beau. He took care of us; made sure we had everything we needed. He did right by you, even though it may not feel like it. When I was pregnant, he made sure our baby was safely delivered in the best hospital in Baltimore. He even paid for Charlie’s schooling and helped get Casa Oschun off the ground.”
“He did all that?”
“Yeah, he did. He also made sure your dad never came after me. I know it wasn’t easy for him to keep Charlie a secret, but he did it for us.”
I smiled. “Pops is the best. I’m glad he was there for you and Charlie. But I still want to kill my dad for taking you away from me.”
> She ran her hand along my arm. “You have plenty of time to think about how you would like to handle this situation with your dad.” Her glance pooled with tenderness. “But for now, let’s focus on the fact that we found each other again.”
I immediately softened. “Ah, Sunshine. You’re right.”
We stared at one another in wonder as her eyes pooled with tears.
I gently cupped the sides of her lovely face. “Hey, Sunshine, what’s going on?”
She wiped furiously at the tears that wouldn’t quit. “I’m just happy you know the truth,” she wailed, as huge sobs erupted from her big soft gaze.
“Come here.” She snuggled into me with her head against my chest. “I got you...I got you,” I soothed against her ear.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Beau:
My father was an asshole of the lowest order.
I was done with him.
I wasn’t about to let him steal another moment from us as I sat in Marla’s house. I was only concerned with her.
We talked long into the night, catching up on everything. It was almost as if we hadn’t been separated by the bitterness of our break-up. My perspective was so different than it was twenty-four hours ago; shifting with the staggering evidence that she’d loved me all these years.
Knowing the truth was like finally being able to breathe freely as the weight of her betrayal was lifted from my soul. Marla exuded sweet goodness, without an ounce of deceit in her body. How could I have been so blind?
I cringed, thinking of the way I treated her.
But she didn’t hold anything against me. She’d welcomed me in warmly, pouring her sweet grace over my battered soul as we had spoken words of forgiveness.
But underneath that layer of grace, we still had the same attraction and connection to one another. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize we were waiting to explode in a wave of passion so thick, we wouldn’t surface for three days.
But I played it cool, banking my desire as she opened up about the past. Curled up next to me, Marla told me about opening her salon and her excitement about owning her own business, while I shared stories from my hockey days and how great it was to see my business become such a success.