by Pixie James
“No,” Nix and I say in unison. For the briefest of seconds, we lock gazes, and the storm raging in his green eyes leaves him unrecognizable.
My lungs tighten as images of me being strapped to some alien table and probed like they do in the movies barge into my mind. I know it’s ridiculous. I mean, hell. I’m an alien, too. But I’ve only known I was one for like two months and the idea of being somewhere so foreign scares the crap out of me.
“It will not happen, Beloved Xebulin. You will never be forced to endure something of that magnitude without your compliance.”
Te’Lara slides off the desk to stand in front of me. “Are any of you listening? We’ve already told you we won’t allow it. When the request was refused, the Xebulani Enforcers and the King’s personal war guides grew concerned that if the Orsu had members here on Earth, your safety could be compromised as they are suspected of several abductions already.”
A series of noises clank in the distance, and Te’Lara’s shoulders finally relax. “So, the protocols have all been enacted, then?”
The headmaster nods. “Yes, all exterior doors and windows are sealed for the next forty-eight hours. All students are to remain inside and no one, not even faculty will be permitted to venture outside until the campus and the surrounding areas have additional security measures put in place.”
“So, what? We’re all just stuck here together? What about the search everyone’s been obsessed with?” Nix starts pacing, and his nervous energy bleeds through the room, making me more anxious, and my stupid mark burns hotter than it did before. I rub it, trying to ease the pain and when I look up, Nix’s eyes are glued to my chest, following my every move. He must hate me for getting him involved in all this.
“Will you sit down? You’re making me dizzy,“ Tia complains.
“Bite me.”
She better not.
“You two, behave. The search is postponed for now. And listen, there is no reason to worry. All areas of the school are accessible through the emergency tunnels underneath the campus. They are maintained regularly in case of a catastrophic event or serious weather. The lockdown will not affect your day to day schedule, you will just not be allowed to enjoy the quad or outdoor activities.”
Tia jumps up and starts digging in her bag for her phone then starts texting furiously. “What about Eugene? His apartment’s clear across campus!”
“My nephew will be fine. He has already reported his whereabouts and is comfortably resting in the admissions lounge on the first floor. Focus, all of you, because we do not have much more time. The lock down might be temporary, but the sequence of events set in motion by what occurred is not. The King’s war captain will be coming here personally next week and has requested to be present during the games. The only way we can accommodate that is to move them up a week.”
Nix stands, crossing his arms. “I don’t like this. Everyone’s going to freak. Moving it up an entire week? You might as well cancel it. We’re not prepared. I’m not prepared. I’ve spent all my free time chasing after a ghost and have barely had any sleep.”
“I realize it is not ideal, but it is the only choice we have. We cannot turn away a member of the war council, and we will not cancel. Those who threaten us do not get to disrupt our way of life.”
“They’re going to blame her.” Nix jerks his chin at me. “It won’t be fair.”
For the first time ever, Tia actually agrees with him. “He’s right. Isn’t there something else we can do. Things are already so hard for her with Ki’Lin and—”
The chair squeaks as I stand on shaky legs. I don’t want Nix’s pity and I definitely don’t want Te’Lara or the headmaster to know. I can’t imagine how much worse everything would be if she got in trouble. “It’s fine, Tia. I’ll be all right. Y’all do what you need to do.”
Nix frowns. “What about Ki’Lin? What’s she done to Cherise?”
“Please, as if you don’t already know. She’s practically your girlfriend, after all.”
Not letting it go, Nix wipes the remaining sweat from his brow and rolls up his sleeves. “She’s not my girlfriend, So’Tia. How many times do I have to tell you that? I can’t help that the girl can’t take a hint. Now answer me, what has Ki’Lin done to Cherise?”
“Who do you think you’re talking to like that? If you’re so curious, ask Ki’Lin yourself.”
The two of them continue going at each other, getting louder with each insult. Between the throb in my chest and the beginnings of the headache their incessant fighting has caused, I’ve had enough. Water spills over the edge of my glass as I jump to my feet, nearly knocking into Te’Lara. “Stop bickering, both of you. I’m right freaking here. Just chill out and let Te’Lara finish.”
Tia’s the first to break their stare down. “I’m sorry, girl. I’m just so sick and tired of him and his mean girl shadow stressing you out all the time.”
I throw an arm around her shoulder and pull her to my side. “I know, T. I know, but now isn’t the time.”
“Mean girl shadow,” Nix mutters under his breath, sinking back in his chair. “If she only knew the half of it…”
Exhausted and beaten down by the drama of the day, I turn back to Te’Lara. “Please, tell us what else we need to know.”
“Just keep your heads up and be aware of your surroundings. After the forty-eight-hour lockdown, we will have an updated schematic of the school’s security system and additional prevention protocols based on the new measures we implement. I brought you here so you could rest easier knowing we are doing everything we can.”
“So’Tia, Ty’Nix, the two of you are dismissed. I expect an agreed upon script for the formal announcement in the next fifteen minutes.” Both of them groan when Te’Lara points to the door. “Out, now. You will use my office to construct the narrative and you are to report back here upon completion.”
I give Tia a short wave as she drags her feet out the door. Nix lingers, clutching the bag over his shoulder like he has something he wants to say, but right as he opens his mouth, he shakes his head and walks out.
What was that all about?
The muscles of my legs and back protest as I bend over to collect my stuff.
“Do you have any questions, Cherise?” the headmaster asks.
The same question that’s lingered in the back of my mind since I blew the roof off the gym burns in the back of my throat. “So, my home light? Since it went off, does that mean my parents might still be alive?”
Te’Lara and the headmaster exchange a look. “In all but a few rare cases, a home light cannot return to its origin if the creator is not breathing.”
“Did it return? I mean, I know you guys are all about keeping secrets but I feel like that’s something I should have been told. If my parents are alive, that could mean—”
Te’Lara fidgets with the edges of her robe. “We don’t know. They are still tracing its signature but I will tell you this. I do not know a single Xebulin female who would be able to resist such a strong call to comfort. If your birth mother still lives, I truly believe it would take the fires of the sun crashing down on all of us to keep her from seeking you out.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sweat-drenched sheets cling to me, and not even the cold breeze rustling my hair can tame the terrible ache in my chest. My mark throbs, like it’s burning from the inside out, and no matter what I do, I can’t make it stop. There’s something else too. An emptiness screaming to be sated, the pain of a promise made and not kept, and even though my mind knows the reality of what’s happened, my heart doesn’t.
It hurts. Like a fresh bruise, poked hard when you least expect it. Exhaustion from the craziness of the day has dragged me down into semi-consciousness but I can’t sleep. Not even the serenity of my window seat can blunt the unbearable pain.
I tried falling asleep there. Grasping at whatever comfort I could find. Te’Lara brought me tea and salve to put on the mark, but the numbing cream no longer works, and I kept falling off the s
lender bench underneath the windowpane.
Huey vacated his normal spot, the added heat from his body too much, and even with his regala, I still want to cry. And I have. Tear after tear stains my pillow. I stopped trying to wipe them away and just let them fall.
None of this makes sense. Today it was fine. Uncomfortable but bearable, and now? As soon as I climbed into the window, an action I do every night, the mark flared to life, raining down holy hell on me with a vengeance.
A cold rag touches my forehead, and I whimper—too awake to shut off my brain, but too asleep to speak like I’m stuck in some kind of other reality.
“How long has she been doing this?” Te’Lara’s voice is distant, but soft.
“All night. She’s been crying in her sleep for hours.” The smell of Tia’s shampoo reaches my nose. “Huey tried to ease her discomfort—slow down the mark’s death—but his manipulation doesn’t affect it. It’s like it’s a whole different kind of pain.”
There’s an edge of sorrow in Te’Lara’s voice when she says, “It is. Our bodies aren’t meant to feel this. A mark of this magnitude is usually only seen between those of us who, chemically, are an exact match.”
“Did it hurt this bad, for you, I mean…” The hand gently caressing my forehead stills. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It is quite all right, So’Tia. I would not have shared it with you if I were not prepared to answer inquiries. My experience was very similar. So much so that I nearly gave into its call.”
“Couldn’t Huey just take the mark away? He offered to. He’s been connected with her off and on all night, anxious and pacing almost as if he’s been trying to reach her but can’t.”
Another burst of pain has me crying out, and I curl into a ball. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. It hurts, so bad. And this feeling…this terrible emptiness threatening to rip my soul in two is too much.
“She loves Huey. She’d never allow that to happen.”
“Look at her Te’Lara, it’s like she’s dying! Isn’t there something you can do?” Tia’s loud whisper registers clearly as the increased pain brings me closer to the surface of my mind.
“Part of her is dying. Rejecting a mark was never meant to be easy. Nor is having one go unanswered.” Te’Lara’s dainty feet tap against the floor as she crosses over to our window. “How long has this been open?”
“Since Cherise went to bed, I guess. I don’t know. Why?”
“Nothing, I just thought I saw someone out there. Keep it closed, understood? I do not want anyone overhearing and blabbering this all over the school. Cherise has suffered enough.”
Another wave of misery hits, this one worse than the last, and I fight to breathe through the crippling lance of pain lodged between my ribs. My breaths come out in heavy pants and I grip the sheets. Please. Make it stop.
A streak of silver flashes behind my closed lids, and I’m blanketed with a coolness from the top of my head down to my toes. “Breathe, girl. This will pass.” It’s the voice from before. The one who sounds like she’s singing. With the pain dulled, my thoughts quickly clear and the additional presence of whomever spoke registers.
“The relief is temporary, and can only be given while you’re asleep, but I will assist you through the worst of it.”
“Was it you in the jar that day in Ha’Jahn’s office? Is that why you can talk to me?”
“Do not worry about who, or what I am. Rest. I will give you solace in your dreams, as long as you do not act on your thoughts to disgrace the mark. Things are not always as they seem, and there are pieces you are not yet meant to understand.”
I want to ask her a thousand questions, but as my mind starts to process the top ones on my list, I’m hit with a wave of lethargy and I sink into a place of absolute rest.
“What happened?” Tia whispers, the sound of her voice fading with my consciousness. “A second ago she was about to claw off her skin and now she’s totally relaxed.”
“Sometimes, we get help where we least expect it. Go back to bed, she will be fine tonight.”
The smells of fresh baked blueberry muffins and french press coffee tease me awake. Well, sort of. Attempting to be fully aware after a night like the last one is pointless. My entire body aches—my jaw, especially—the aftermath of clenching through the pain. I don’t remember much, and the parts I do remember, I don’t want to.
I felt like someone was ripping my soul in two. And the voice that took pity on me and soothed my misery? I’m either crazy and the entire thing was all in my head, or the silver alien I accidentally knocked on the floor invaded my dreams again.
Tia bursts into the room, fully dressed, and I look at my watch. “How are you up? It’s like six thirty.”
“I had to get in line for the phones. The lock-down is interfering with the cell reception, so we have to use the land lines to let our parents know what’s going on with the games. We have a traditional lunch before the event, and in order for everything to work out on time, they have to come in the next two days.”
“So, the entire campus’s parents are coming here? I thought we were supposed to be on high-alert or something?”
A massive stack of loose paper falls out of Tia’s notebook and explodes across the floor. She stares at the mess a moment, then sighs, bending down to clean it up. “No one is stupid enough to do something with the King’s War Commander here. She’s ruthless.”
My jaw nearly hits the floor. “She?”
“You didn’t know?”
“How would I? I guess I just assumed…” Tia shoves the freshly collected pile back in her bag and I cock a brow. “You know it defeats the purpose of a notebook if you tear out every page…”
She sticks her tongue out and heads into the closet. “Hey, so do you think you’re going to at least try to qualify for the games? I know with everything going on…”
“No. I don’t want any more attention on me than I already have.”
The truth is, I don’t know what I want to do. Part of me does want to compete in them, so I can prove to myself that I can. Then again, with all the drama going on and everything that happened with the human government, I just want to lie low.
I have the sneaking suspicion that if I don’t compete, Ki’Lin’s going to see it as some kind of victory even though, what I’ve done so far—what the humans have required me to do— has been nothing short of miraculous.
I’ve literally stuck seventeen years of training and knowledge into a little less than six weeks and actually managed to get a basic understanding of what’s going on. Even if I do fail out of the job test we’re forced to take next year, my dedication and all that I’ve managed to do should show for something.
And if they don’t, well, at least I’ve managed to accomplish the goals I set, and really, that’s all that matters.
“You know I’ll support whatever decision you make because you’re my best friend, but I think you should give it a shot. Think about all the people who will be there. The War Commander, no less. Promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”
“Ugh, fine. I’ll think about it. But only if you get me some of whatever smells so amazing. Where is it? Outside the door?”
Tia stops messing with the pillows on her bed and turns to look at me. “You didn’t order all that from the kitchen?”
“What? No. I didn’t even know you could order. I thought you or Te’Lara set it up.”
“I wish. It’s expensive and only the rich kids do it. Te’Lara wouldn’t have had the time. She was monitoring the lines this morning looking a little worse for the wear after staying up with you all night.”
I groan, the guilt of knowing that my mistakes have left her miserable eating at me. “I should thank her.”
“There’s no cause, Cherise. You needed help. That’s what we’re here for. What happened last night, anyway? Te’Lara told me not to ask but…”
“But we’re friends who borrow each other’s clothes and you want to kno
w if I’ll to will you the remainder of my clothing stipend when this mark eventually kills me off?”
Tia’s jaw drops open. “No! Don’t even joke like that, jerk. I just mean that one second you looked near death, and the next you were sleeping like a baby.”
I start to answer but my mouth goes dry and I keep it closed. Should I tell her? She knows what happened when I exploded everything in the interrogation room, but not about the voice and not about what happened in Ha’Jahn’s office. I trust her completely. So, why am I hesitating? It’s strange, but I have the overwhelming feeling that having that alien in my head is something I’m supposed to keep to myself.
“I don’t really know. One minute my chest was on fire, and the next, it wasn’t. I’m not really sure, but I’m not complaining. Whatever it was dang near saved my life.”
Tia gives me a look that says I know you’re lying, but whatever. You’ll tell me eventually so I’m going to let it go. “How is it now? Does it still hurt?”
Afraid that if I acknowledge the throb currently pulsing in my chest it’ll get worse, I just nod and force myself to get up. Last night was one of the worst I’ve ever had, and just the thought of feeling that again makes me want to vomit. Well, there goes my appetite. Looks like Huey’s getting all the mystery food.
The hall’s crowded when we finally leave the room and head to our first period class. I gawk at the people still waiting in line for the phones. “Is it really that big of a deal? This whole lunch with the parents thing?”
“Yeah, it is. I can’t think of a single set of parents who’ve ever missed it.” As soon as the words are out, she slaps a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry, Cherise. I didn’t even think about how it would make you feel.”
The ceiling lights are blurry—a product of my watery eyes. Being parentless on a day that everyone’s parents visit feels incredibly isolating and is just one more giant reminder of how different I am. And it sucks. Hard.
“It’s fine. There isn’t much I can do about it, anyway. I’ll just hang out in my room.”