Absolutely Normal Chaos

by Sharon Creech

  DAD: What???

  MOM: What???

  MAGGIE: What???

  DENNIS: What’d he say? I missed it! What’d you say, Carl Ray?

  ME: Mrs. Furtz wants to know if you’ll go live with them? With the Furtzes?

  DENNIS: What??? Is that what he said?

  ME: Well, you’re not going to do that, are you, Carl Ray?

  DOUGIE: You’re going to leave?

  TOMMY: NO! NOT LEAVING! (Starts crying like mad.)

  DAD: Why don’t you all just give Carl Ray a chance to answer?

  MOM: Now that’s a good idea.

  ME: (to Carl Ray) Well?

  DENNIS: Well?

  DOUGIE: Well?

  CARL RAY: I told her I’d have to think about it. She said she’d like to have a man around the house, and I could kill spiders and help out and get to know my sort-of-brothers and my sort-of-sister.

  DAD: Oh.

  MOM: Oh.

  TOMMY: NOT LEAVING! NOT LEAVING!

  Now, you know what? A month ago, if someone had asked Carl Ray to leave our house and go live elsewhere, I would have jumped up and down for joy; I would have turned cartwheels; I would have been as happy as a clam in seaweed. But the funny thing is when Carl Ray said that about Mrs. Furtz asking him to go live there, I was mad at her. Who does she think she is, all of a sudden deciding to take Carl Ray like that? And what about Uncle Carl Joe? How would Mrs. Furtz feel if somebody decided to just up and take Cathy or Barry or little David away?

  People just don’t think sometimes.

  Tuesday, August 14

  1) I didn’t see Alex. He had to work all day.

  2) Carl Ray broke up with Beth Ann!

  3) I found out what GGP means: Girls Going Places. Imagine. How dumb.

  Wednesday, August 15

  Christy called me today and asked me if I’d like to come to a GGP pajama party on Saturday night. She said it was only for members and a few girls who were “under consideration.” I said I was busy. I don’t think I would have said that two months ago, but something has happened to me this summer.

  I didn’t see Alex today because he and his father went fishing after work.

  Thursday, August 16

  I LOVE ALEX CHEEVEY!!! He sent me a red rose with a card that said, “To Athene, from Poseidon.”

  I think I am losing my brains.

  Carl Ray still hasn’t decided about moving in with the Furtzes.

  Friday, August 17

  Went to the movies with Alex. That’s what I call heaven.

  Sighhhhhh.

  Saturday, August 18

  Beth Ann went to the GGP pajama party. Big deal.

  Sunday, August 19

  Carl Ray told Mrs. Furtz today that he wasn’t going to move in with them!

  Beth Ann called to tell me that Derek-the-Di-viiiiine came over to her house after dinner. She also said to be sure and tell Carl Ray. I didn’t.

  Monday, August 20

  Oh, nooooooo.

  I’m dyyyyying.

  Alex and I broke up (I think).

  It happened like this (groannnn): We went to the park after dinner. Then we walked home to my house. Then he said good-bye. What? No kiss? He started walking away.

  That’s why I think we broke up.

  I’m dyyyyying.

  Tuesday, August 21

  No word from Alex. I am truly dying. I can’t breathe.

  And stupid ole Beth Ann wormed her way back into Carl Ray’s heart. They’re back together. Lucky them. I’m realllll happy. I really am.

  Wednesday, August 22

  Christy called today to say I had only one more chance to come to a GGP pajama party. I said, “Very big deal.” She got mad and hung up.

  I’m becoming a rotten person.

  Thursday, August 23

  Today the florist delivered another rose from Poseidon!

  When I got the rose and the card, I tried to call Alex, but his mother said he was at work. So I said, “Please tell him that Athene called.”

  She said, “I thought this was Mary Lou.”

  “It is,” I said.

  “Oh. So I’ll tell Alex you called.”

  “Well, no. Could you tell him that Athene called?”

  “Isn’t this Mary Lou?”

  Groannnnnnn.

  Alex called when he got home. He said, “My mother said that you called but that you were all mixed up and didn’t even know your own name.”

  Huh.

  I thanked him for the rose and the card. Then I took a deep breath and asked him why he didn’t kiss me the other night. And do you know what he said? He said he forgot! He forgot?

  Boys.

  Friday, August 24

  Well. What a strange evening.

  I don’t exactly know how this happened, but Alex and I went out with Beth Ann and Carl Ray tonight. We went to play miniature golf.

  It was a three-kiss evening. Sighhhhhh.

  Carl Ray said, when he and I got home, “You’re okay, Mary Lou.”

  Hmmm.

  I can’t seem to write any more. Muse? Where have you gone?

  Saturday, August 25

  Today Alex and I sorted out his fishing lures and cleaned their garage. That won’t sound very interesting to you, but you’ve never seen their garage! It’s filled with all kinds of amazing stuff: old wooden skis, pogo sticks, a five-foot-high stuffed bear, a cardboard igloo, two mannequins (man and woman), a box of wigs, a fake palm tree, a parachute, a framed picture of a groundhog, a collection of mounted eels, a tuba, and on and on and on.

  We called Carl Ray from Alex’s house to see if he and Beth Ann wanted to go out again, but Carl Ray said he had to talk to Beth Ann about something, and he thought he’d better do it alone!

  Alex and I tried to guess what that was all about. We had two ideas: Maybe Carl Ray is going to ask her to marry him (unlikely), or maybe Carl Ray is going to break up with her (why?).

  Carl Ray still isn’t home, so I don’t know yet what that was all about. I left a note on his dresser that said, “Carl Ray, you’re okay. P.S. It’s a rhyme! From M.L.”

  Sunday, August 26

  The worst, worst, worst thing has happened.

  Carl Ray is in the hospital.

  We got the call at three this morning. He had been at Beth Ann’s, then he went to the cemetery, and then he was driving home and ran off the road and into a ditch and his car flipped right over.

  You know what I thought when we got the call? I thought, “Snapper!” It scares me half to death, that something can happen just like that.

  Carl Ray is unconscious. He has two broken legs, one broken arm and some broken ribs.

  We spent all day at the hospital. The nurses only let Mom and Dad in the room. It’s real bad. Dad sent a telegram to Aunt Radene. I don’t feel much like writing.

  I hope Carl Ray is going to be all right.

  Monday, August 27

  Please, gods, let Carl Ray be all right. He’s still unconscious. Please don’t let his time be up.

  Tuesday, August 28

  Aunt Radene, Uncle Carl Joe, all their kids, Mrs. Furtz and her kids, and all of us were at the hospital today. Everyone is praying like mad for Carl Ray to wake up.

  I got to go in for five minutes today and see him. He looks so pitiful, lying there all pale and bruised and his plastered-up legs and arm sticking out and these tubes jabbed into him. I talked to him as if he could hear me. I said, “Carl Ray, you just have to wake up, because all these people need you to wake up. I have a feeling, Carl Ray, that a lot of these people still have some things to say to you.” And then I told him what I had to say. I apologized for every rotten thing I ever did to him or said about him. I told him he was pretty okay.

  Then, when I was back in the waiting room, I kept thinking of the way Carl Ray grins sometimes, and all those presents Carl Ray bought everyone, and Carl Ray saying, “Mary Lou, you’re okay,” and I kept thinking about that note I left on his dresser that he never even saw.
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  Wednesday, August 29

  Carl Ray is not okay. He won’t wake up, and the doctors told Aunt Radene and Uncle Carl Joe today that he might not ever wake up. How can such a thing like this happen?

  I can’t write about it.

  Thursday, August 30

  Uncle Carl Joe sits by Carl Ray’s bed all day and all night. He won’t leave. Mrs. Furtz invited Aunt Radene and all my cousins to stay at their house because we don’t have much room. In a way, I’m glad that Mr. Furtz isn’t alive to see what has happened to Carl Ray.

  I read back over all these journals today. All those awful things I said about Carl Ray. I only hope that Carl Ray knows that I didn’t mean them and that it wasn’t his fault that I was being so insensitive. I was only starting to see all the good things about him when this happened. Most of those things that used to make me mad about Carl Ray (the way he didn’t ever talk and the way he snuck up on you and how much he ate and the way he didn’t make his bed) are the things that I most like to remember now—not just the good things, like the way he held Tommy’s hand that day at the funeral parlor and how he told Tommy all about God coming to get Mr. Furtz’s soul, and always driving me places, and never saying a mean word about anyone, and bringing me back home from West Virginia early just because I was homesick, and on and on.

  Those other things that used to drive me crazy are just part of Carl Ray, and once you get used to him, you wouldn’t expect him to be any different. Suppose he did make up his bed and suppose he clomped around so you could hear him coming and suppose he ate like a bird and suppose he talked on and on like Beth Ann? Would those things be very important? Do they really matter? Remember Carl Ray acting like a monster, running around making funny noises? And can’t you hear Carl Ray saying, “Don’t rightly know”? Does anyone else say that? Isn’t it just like Carl Ray?

  Friday, August 31

  Carl Ray is still unconscious.

  I read back through the journals again. When I was writing them, I thought I noticed everything. I was keeping a record. But I didn’t notice diddly-squat. I didn’t even notice anything about Carl Ray being homesick or Carl Ray and Mr. Furtz, or how he felt after Mr. Furtz died. How could a person like me go along and go along, feeling just the same from day to day, and then all of a sudden look back and see that I didn’t see much of anything? And that I’ve been changing all along? I don’t even recognize myself when I read back over these pages.

  Once my father told me that bad things happen sometimes to remind us we are mortal and to remind us to appreciate people more. We’re not like Zeus or Athene, who can live forever and help people out of trouble.

  I told Alex today that the awful thing about starting to like people was that if something happens to them, there is nothing you can do to make everything like it was before, and all the time you keep thinking of the things you wish you had said or done.

  Alex said, “So does that mean you shouldn’t like people?”

  And even though I didn’t know I thought this, I said, “Well, of course not! That’s just the way it is. If you didn’t let yourself like people, you’d shrivel up.”

  “Exactly,” he said. “Exactly.” One kiss.

  Aunt Radene says that you just have to do your best to make the world a better place. I said I wasn’t so sure I could make the world a better place, and she said, “Oh, you already have, Mary Lou, you already have.”

  How does a person ever know that for sure?

  Saturday, September 1

  Beth Ann told me today that when Carl Ray came to see her that night, before he had the accident, he told her that he was moving back to West Virginia. And then he went to see Mr. Furtz in the cemetery. Beth Ann was all upset because she had had a big fight with Carl Ray when he said he was moving. Now she wishes she could take back everything she said. I told her that I was sure Carl Ray knew she didn’t mean it, that she only said those things because she would miss him.

  Alex visited Carl Ray in the hospital today, and he took Carl Ray a fishing lure. He told Carl Ray (even though Carl Ray is still unconscious and couldn’t hear him) that he would take him fishing when he woke up.

  Sunday, September 2

  Carl Ray must like fishing, because he woke up today! You’ve never seen a happier bunch of people in your life than Aunt Radene and Uncle Carl Joe and all my cousins, and my whole family, and the Furtzes and Alex and Beth Ann and all the nurses who have been taking care of Carl Ray.

  You know what Carl Ray said when his father asked him how he was feeling? He said, “Don’t rightly know.” Uncle Carl Joe said that that was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

  Athene has just swooped down and anointed Carl Ray and saved him from being thrashed around in the sea. What a relief!

  What a terrific day!

  Monday, September 3

  Carl Ray is smiling all over the place now, getting better every minute. Uncle Carl Joe still sits by his bed all day long, watching Carl Ray and talking to him.

  I was allowed to visit Carl Ray for five minutes today, and I gave him the note that I had put on his dresser, the one about him being okay. He pointed to the bedpan and said, “Do you think I could borrow your socks for the pee pot?” Carl Ray’s getting a sense of humor. His wheel of fortune is spinning around to the top again.

  I received a letter from school today with a list of my courses for next year—ack, next week! My English teacher is Mr. Birkway. He must be new, because I’ve never heard of him. So a complete stranger is going to read this journal and know all about our odyssey. Let’s hope he is understanding and doesn’t put red marks all over everything.

  Tuesday, September 4

  Carl Ray’s better every day. He’s coming home next week, and we’ve been busy decorating his room with signs. Aunt Radene and Uncle Carl Joe and all my cousins are going back to West Virginia today, although you can tell they don’t really want to leave without Carl Ray, but he can’t travel yet. When he’s ready, Dad will take him back to West Virginia.

  Carl Ray is hobbling all around the hospital already. He asks all the nurses to sign his casts. I think he’s becoming more outgoing. Who would have imagined? That Carl Ray is full of surprises.

  I decided to end this journal tomorrow. I only have a couple of pages left in this little blue book anyway (this is the sixth blue book I’ve used this summer). I asked Beth Ann and Alex if they did their journals. Alex said he only started his when he went to Michigan (I wonder if he wrote anything about me in it???), and Beth Ann said she thought she’d start it today! I know I wrote too much, but maybe I won’t turn it in anyway. I’m not sure I want a total stranger to read this.

  Wednesday, September 5

  Our family went to Windy Rock today with the Cheeveys and the Furtzes and Beth Ann. What a day. We were all feeling sorry that Carl Ray was still in the hospital and wasn’t able to come too, but Mrs. Cheevey said we would call it Carl Ray Day (“Ooh, a rhyme!”) and she would take pictures and show them to Carl Ray, and when he gets out of the hospital, we could all go again.

  I’m sure by now you can imagine all these people clumped together at Windy Rock and you can imagine Mrs. Cheevey darting all around and Beth Ann talking her head off and my brothers climbing trees and me and Alex sneaking off for one little kiss (well, heck!). So I don’t have to write all that down.

  I just want to say one more time that Carl Ray is okay!

  I was trying to remember how Homer finished off the Odyssey, so I just read the ending again. It’s a little corny, with Athene telling everyone to make peace, but I can’t think of a better ending.

  Sigh.

  Summer’s over.

  Alpha and Omega!!

  Acknowledgments

  With warm thanks to Marion Lloyd

  About the Author

  Sharon Creech won the Newbery Medal for WALK TWO MOONS, as well as the Newbery Honor for THE WANDERER. Her work also includes BLOOMABILITY, ABSOLUTELY NORMAL CHAOS, CHASING REDBIRD, and PLEASING THE GHOST.
After spending eighteen years teaching and writing in Europe, Sharon Creech and her husband have retured to the United States to live.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Also by Sharon Creech

  WALK TWO MOONS

  PLEASING THE GHOST

  Credits

  Cover art © 1997 by Mark Elliott

  Cover design by Tom Starace

  Cover © 2001 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  Copyright

  ABSOLUTELY NORMAL CHAOS. Copyright © 1990 by Sharon Creech. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  EPub © Edition OCTOBER 2008 ISBN: 9780061972430

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