by Beth Rinyu
“Justin, get the hell up to your room,” my dad shouted. Justin ignored him, making sure that he didn’t leave my side.
“Nicole, is what Ben Caldwell told me today true? Are you pregnant?” I nodded as the tears flowed down my face. My mother gasped and began to cry harder. “This isn’t how we raised you. We didn’t raise a whore!”
“I’m not a-” I couldn’t finish. It hurt too much to hear my father calling me that word.
“God damn you, Nicole. You will get rid of it.”
I could feel myself shaking with fear, but as scared as I was, I held my ground. I shook my head. “No. I’m not having an abortion.”
I could see the anger in his eyes as he moved closer to me. “You will get rid of it! I’m not getting stuck raising your bastard.” He raised his hand to hit me. I covered my face to protect myself.
“Nick, stop it!” my mother cried, just as Justin came between us.
“Don’t you touch her! Leave her alone!” Justin shouted.
My dad grabbed Justin by the shirt. “You stay the hell out of this. Did you know all about it and not tell us?”
“No, Justin didn’t know anything. You can do whatever you want to me, but just leave Justin alone!” I cried.
“What’s going on?” my sister asked as she walked into the living room.
“Tell your sister, Nicole. Tell your sister why we won’t be able to afford to pay for her wedding!” my dad shouted.
“What are you talking about? I don’t want anything from you. I have it all figured out,” I said.
“Oh, you have it all figured out at seventeen. You don’t know shit!”
“I do. I talked to the guidance counselor today and the adoption agency is going to take care of everything.”
“Oh my God! You’re pregnant?” My sister covered her mouth with her hand.
“Oh yeah, is the adoption agency going to pay for the big job that I’m going to lose out on because of you!” my dad continued.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ben Caldwell is going to give this big development that’s going to be a big a chunk of income for this family to another company if you don’t take care of this problem that you and his son created.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My dad was actually putting his business over my feelings. “Oh my God, Nicole, stop being such a stubborn little brat and get an abortion. What are you trying to prove by giving birth to a baby just to give it away?” My sister was practically on the brink of tears, only because she had something at stake in it.
“You are all unbelievable. All you care about is yourselves. Does anyone care how I feel or what I’m going through?” I began to cry.
“I care about this family, Nicole. If I lose this job, then we’re all going to be in a world of trouble.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I am not having an abortion and you can’t make me.”
“You are such a bitch, Nicole!” My sister looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“Get the hell out of my sight!” my father shouted.
I shuddered as I walked past him. I couldn’t get up the stairs fast enough. As I reached the top, I heard my sister crying that I ruined her wedding. I began to cry even harder when I heard my parents comforting her, wishing that they could have the same compassion for me at the time I needed them the most. I lay down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. My head was pounding from crying so hard. I wasn’t trying to hurt my family. I just couldn’t bring myself to have an abortion. Maybe if I went and talked to Jonathan’s parents and explained to them that I wouldn’t implicate Jonathan in any way, then maybe they wouldn’t take it out on my father. Yes, that was what I would do. I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I finally removed my head from the pillow and realized I was in total darkness, with the sun setting hours ago. I turned on my lamp to find Justin standing in the doorway with a plate and a bottle of water.
“I made you my specialty; grilled cheese.”
“Thanks, Justin.” He sat down on the bed next to me. “So, do you hate me too?” I asked.
“Nah, I don’t want to be in her stupid old wedding anyway.”
“Well, you’re all I got left, Pooh.”
“Hey, don’t forget about the little guy or girl in there,” he said as he patted my belly.
“Yeah, well the little person in my belly is causing a lot of problems right now.”
“Nicole, are you going to be able to give it away when the time comes?”
“I sure hope so.” I took Justin’s hand in mine. “Just promise me you’ll always be here for me, Pooh.”
“I promise.”
Chapter 8
Nicole
I grabbed my ringing phone from my purse and quickly switched to speaker when I saw that it was Donna. I looked in the rearview mirror. Ella was fast asleep already. Donna had had a baby girl four months ago and we vowed that both our girls would be best friends just like us.
“Hey, Donna!” I answered.
“Oh my God, Nicole. I just got your message. What the hell did you say to that bitch?” I actually thought that Donna might have been the one person who hated Rachel more than I did. I explained to her everything that had happened, including Dailan’s carefree attitude about it.
“Well, did you tell him everything that she did to you?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, I would not let her be working for my husband, that’s for sure!”
“Yeah, well unfortunately, I have no say in the matter.” I shifted the subject to a happier topic. “You guys are coming tomorrow, right?”
“Of course! We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I pulled into the driveway, happy to see that Dailan was home. Donna and I said our goodbyes and hung up. I gently maneuvered Ella from her car seat as she rested her head on my shoulder, still fast asleep. I quickly made my way up the stairs when I heard Dailan talking on the phone from the kitchen. I didn’t want him to wake her up. “What the fuck!” I heard Dailan shout. “I am not coming in there again today and I’m sure as hell not coming in there tomorrow!” Ella lifted her head from my shoulder at the sound of his voice and began to whimper.
“Shhh….it’s okay.” I rubbed her back and she immediately rested her head back on my shoulder and closed her eyes. I gently placed her in her crib and put her pacifier in her mouth. I closed her door halfway as I heard Dailan, still on his phone. I didn’t want to chance having him wake her. I was putting Ryan’s clean clothes in his dresser when I looked up and saw Dailan in the doorway.
“Hey, where’s Ryan?” I asked.
“Oh, he went to Timmy’s to go swimming.”
I nodded and continued putting the clothes away. He sat down on the bed and pulled me onto his lap. “What’s your problem?”
“Well, I think the same could be asked of you right now. You were the one that was screaming your head off on the phone.”
“I’m just so fuckin’ sick of that place. They have three other lawyers that work there. Why the fuck do I have to get called in on my days off when there’s an emergency?”
“You’re not going back in, are you?”
“Fuck, no! I’m sorry that your morning got cut short, beautiful.”
“That’s okay,” I said, kissing him softly on the lips. “Oh crap! I have groceries in my car!”
He rolled his eyes. “Where are your keys?” he asked as I pulled them from my pocket and handed them to him.
After the groceries were put away, I sat down on the couch with Dailan. “Okay, now are you going to tell me why you hate that girl so much?”
I started from the beginning, telling him everything about Jonathan. I had never gone into much detail about exactly who Ryan’s father was with Dailan. But today, I gave him every single element. “What a fuckin’ dick!” Dailan said as he pulled me closer and kissed me on the head. “So, what did that girl have to do with any of it?”
“Hmm…let’s see... she made me fall when I
was two months pregnant. She told the whole school that I didn’t know whose baby it was and just tormented me every chance that she could. Jonathan came out of it all smelling like a rose and I was the one that was labeled as a whore, even by my own parents.”
Dailan bit his lip and shook his head. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that, Nicole. I would love to run into the motherfucker and kick his fuckin’ ass.”
“Well, that’s exactly how I feel about her. I hate her and I don’t want her working for you, Dailan.”
“Nicole, I have no control over that.”
“What do you mean? You don’t have a say in who works for you?”
“Well, yeah, but what am I supposed to do? Fire her because my wife doesn’t like her?”
“Yes!” He laughed at me as if I were ridiculous. I wasn’t finding any humor in it whatsoever. “You know what? Fuck you, Dailan!” Two times in one day that I dropped the f-bomb. Rachel Wiser brought out the worst in me.
I stood up. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. “What the fuck, Nicole? Look, I’m sorry for what she did to you. But I can’t just fire someone for something they did ten years ago that has nothing to do with their job performance.”
“Whatever!” I said as I pulled away and went stomping up the stairs.
“Fine, be a bitch!” he shouted.
I stopped dead in my tracks and stormed back down the steps. “I’m a bitch? You have no idea how much of a bitch I could be.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, I do,” he said sarcastically. His cell phone began to ring. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing because I seriously wanted to smack him. “Yeah, Ryan,” he answered. “Okay, I’ll be there in a few.” He reached around me to grab his keys from the counter and walked out, slamming the door behind him, causing Ella to scream over the baby monitor. I went upstairs and got Ella. I changed her diaper and brought her downstairs. I was shocked when I realized that it was almost four o’clock. “Do you want to watch Elmo?” I asked. I sat her down on the floor and popped in her Elmo DVD. Her eyes lit up and she began to giggle as soon as Elmo appeared on the screen. Just watching her reaction made me forget all about the little tiff I had just gotten into with Dailan. I was unable to wipe the smile from my face, hearing her deep belly laugh at the sight of Elmo. I sat down on the floor with her and placed her on my lap. I hugged her tightly and kissed her on her head. I loved this baby girl so much and I also loved her daddy, but no one in this world could make me angrier than he could, and he knew it. I thought he actually took pleasure in that fact. It had always been that way between us and I actually thought that was what attracted me to him so much. Of course, his perfect body, sexy smile, and Irish accent didn’t hurt either. I took a deep breath when I heard the front door open. Dailan and I never fought in front of Ryan and Ella; instead, we would give each other the silent treatment, which Ryan always picked up on right away. “Hey, Ryan, did you have fun?” I asked as he came into the living room and gave Ella a kiss on her head.
“Yeah, lots! We seriously need to get a pool!” I smiled and kissed his damp head.
“Where’s Uncle Dailan?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s coming. He’s still outside, screaming at someone from work on the phone.”
My stomach dropped when I heard the front door open. “Dadaadaa,” Ella held her arms out for Dailan as soon as she saw him. Her smile was a mile wide when he took her in his arms. She opened her mouth wide and placed her lips on his face. This was her version of giving kisses. Dailan kissed her neck and began to blow raspberries on her belly. She began her deep belly laugh, which was music to my ears.
I went about my business for the rest of the night, not engaging in any conversation with Dailan. After I bathed Ella and got her to bed, Ryan and I made brownies for his birthday party. It was almost ten o’clock by the time I had gotten everything cleaned up. I poked my head into the living room, where Ryan and Dailan where engrossed in some action movie that I didn’t care to watch. “Ryan, I think you better get up to bed. It’s late.”
“Please, can I finish watching this? It’s over in a half hour.”
I was such a sucker for his adorable little face. “Okay, but then bed right after.”
He nodded and smiled. I walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night. I love you.”
“Night. Love you too,” Ryan said, unable to take his eyes off the TV. I looked over at Dailan, waiting to see if he was going to say good night to me. Instead, he just sat there, watching TV as if I were invisible. Fine! Two can play at that game!
I took a quick shower and got into bed. I tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep and put this day behind me. After about twenty minutes of trying to force sleep, I heard Ryan and Dailan coming up the steps. I was happy when Dailan came into the bedroom and went right into the bathroom to take a shower, giving me extra time to fall asleep. I was still wide awake by the time I heard the water turning off.
I turned on my side so my back was facing him when he got into bed. He turned on his side and wrapped his arms around me so my back was against his chest. He pressed himself into my back and I could feel his erection through his boxer shorts. My mind was screaming stop him, while my body was screaming more, please! “You know I only want to fuck you more when you’re angry with me, Nicole.” I remained silent, even though my insides were screaming, fuck me, fuck me! He reached his arms around me and moved his hand under my shirt and softly caressed my breasts. He began to kiss the back of my neck and I did my best to try and ignore him. I took a deep breath when he slid his hand down my pajama bottoms and underwear and he placed his fingers inside of me. I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to convince myself that I wasn’t enjoying this. Damn it, Dailan. He knew exactly how to break me down. I turned around to face him, trying my best to seem unaffected by his actions, and failing miserably. He totally ignored me, lifted my shirt over my head, and then removed my pajama bottoms and underwear. He went to kiss me and I turned my head. So, instead of kissing me on the mouth, he trailed his lips down my stomach, stopping between my legs. He knew exactly how to get to me. His tongue began to do its magic and I tried my best to contain my excitement, but I couldn’t. It felt way too good. I wanted him inside of me. No, I needed him inside of me! “Dailan, please. I need you.” He looked up and smiled.
He moved up next to me. “Tell me what you want, Nicole,” he teased.
“Dailan, just come on!”
“Nope, not until you say it.”
“Say what?”
“What you want.”
“I want you to make love to me.”
“Oh no, no. You’ve been dropping the f-bomb like crazy today. I want you to say it now.”
“What?!”
“That you want me to fuck you.”
“Oh my God, Dailan. Please.”
“It will be my pleasure. All you have to do is say the word!”
I took a deep breath. God, I wish I didn’t want him so badly right now! “I want you to…fuck me.” The last two words were barely audible.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you just said,” he smirked.
I looked up at him and shook my head. He drove me crazy! “I want you to fuck me, Dailan. Okay, there; I said it.”
His smile was a mile wide as he began to laugh. “All you had to do was ask,” he said as he took off his boxers and hovered over top of me. I let out a scream of pleasure as I felt him enter me. He began to move as I pulled him closer. "Oh my God, Dailan, harder," I pleaded.
He grinned at me. "Well, that depends. Are you still pissed at me?"
I shook my head and kissed him hard. He pulled me on top of him and placed his hands on my hips. I began to move up and down, feeling him deeper inside me. He sat up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed my neck, slowly moving his lips down to my breast. His tongue circled my nipple and teased me as he continued to move in and out of me.
You are so fuckin’ beautiful.” His movements
became quicker and harder. I began to move with him. "Oh, Nicole, I think you might want to slow down because then it will be over a lot sooner than I want it to be and I'm enjoying fucking you too much right now for it to be over.”
I completely stopped moving. I pressed my forehead to his. He was breathing heavily. “What are you enjoying right now?” I asked with a grin.
“Fucking you.” He ran his tongue up and down my neck. I sat still while he continued to move. “Nicole, I said slow down; not completely stop.”
“Hmm…I don’t think I heard you clearly about what you’re enjoying.”
He looked at me and shook his head. “Making love to you,” he said sarcastically.
“Okay, that’s what I thought.” I giggled. He pushed me back down on the bed and was on top of me. He pinned my wrists to the bed with his hands. At this point, I didn’t care if he was fucking me or making love to me. I just didn’t want him to stop. My body couldn’t hold back anymore. “Oh my God, Dailan,” I screamed a little bit louder than I should have. I ran my hands through his hair as he continued.
“Oh fuck, Nicole,” he whispered in my ear. I felt the warmth of him inside of me. I ran my fingers up and down his back while he tried to catch his breath. He rolled over on his back and pulled me on top of him. I kissed his chest and smiled.
“Oh, there’s that beautiful smile,” he said as he rubbed his thumb down my cheek.
“You are lucky that I love you and that you’re so good at making love.”
“I love you too and thank you, I know that I’m good at fucking.”
I shook my head and laughed. “You are hopeless, you know that?”
“Yeah, but you love me,” he said, kissing me on the head.
“Yes, I do. For some crazy reason I do.” I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I loved him more than he would ever know. He was the only guy that was able to help me break the chains that were binding my heart for so long and I would be forever grateful to him for it.